Abortion

Hi rip_vdx,
Sorry to hear about your abortion. You gotta learn more about your menstrual cycle if you gonna still have intimate relationship with your bf. Sperm can survive inside you for 3 days, some up to 5 days. Egg, once came out from the ovary can only survive for 24 hours. If there's sperm around when the egg comes out, then fertilisation will happen and hence pregnancy. You can roughly calculate the time of your ovulation and avoid intercourse one week before expected ovulation and a few days after. During your fertile period, you will have egg white like discharge.

I have practiced that for the past few years. I am married for more than four years already, but I am still studying and yet to get married traditionally. A few months ago, we took a risk. My hubby ejaculated inside me one week before my expected ovulation. That was the first risk. BINGO! I got pregnant.

I have thought of an abortion when I first found out about the pregnancy. I was shock and my hubby was shock too. It was hell for me during the pregnancy. I have been with my hubby for almost 10 years, then ROM-ed for more than 4 years and planning for a wedding in this month. My hubby and me decided to keep the pregnancy, then we told our parents. There are people who are shock and told me to abort. I struggled through. I had a high risk pregnancy. I went through the ordeal of trying to save the baby by going through injections and lots of medications. I consult the best doctor I can find. In the end, I had a miscarriage... The baby failed to survive. The thought of abortion had made me feel guilty when my baby did not survive, although I did not went through the abortion. I am now recovering well emotionally... I am physically weaker than before, and still recovering... The miscarriage happened 3 months ago and I was 10 weeks then...

If you need a counsellor, I can give you some recommendations.

Take care...
 


hi a2002, sorry to hear of yr loss.. take good care of yrself now..

U can always try again after yr wedding this mth. Rest well and be a happy bride..
 
I've never had sex after my abortion because I've truly learnt my lessons..

I feel sad not being able to help people ditch away with the thought of going for an abortion!

Can someone please help knock some sense into this girl?

http://www.secretofadrika.blogspot.com

It seems that she's no more than 21 years old, and already had abortion more than once!!

During her recent abortion, she made her boyfriend promised not to have sex again until they get married or something.

But i was outrightly disappointed when i checked back to see they had sex again.

I've sent a long long long email to her before her decision for an abortion. But still she did it.

Don't know whether to see her as selfish or not.. sigh.. guess i'm not even in a position to judge.

Just hope she will never ever continue the kind of life she is leading now - Having sex with different partners, and having sex every now and then.

And she's still a student...

Saddening...
 
Last night i had a dream. Not sure whether it is a nightmare to me.

Dreamt thata baby was standing at one corner while some adult tied her shoelace for her.

Then she looked at me and said "Mummy" to me. I was horrified i guess... because my mother was around me...

But my actual baby was a boy... i dont know how come in this dream its a girl instead...

Urgh... dont know how... recently kept having dreams of babies...

And i'm scared of fibroids, endometriosis, cycts, cervical cancer, and all the diseases that will affect a woman's fertility.

So please people, never opt for abortion...

I wonder if anyone feels the same way as i do now...
 
esteem

don't think too much into the past. relax and keep yourself occupied.

life is unpredictable, no one knows what's next.

for your health, you can eat properly and healthy stuffs to maintain it together with some exercise.

some sickness are unavoidable as it is inherited through genes, while some due to old age.

don't worry too much about it, you make it.
 
esteem, dun think too much on what had happened in the past.. What had passed has passed on so dun keep on looking back.. though at times, its hard, but I hope U will do it and look ahead of yr future..


God Bless...
 
just found out tat i am pregnent..
will be going for an abortion..
noe many ppl advise against it.
but personally i myself is not emotionally ready for it.
i feel really really bad now.
but dun haf any other choices..
 
yuki: whats the reason of taking it away? its gng to be a sad thing to do u know? many ppl who are Trying to Conceive (TTC) cant seems to get pregnant, and you have one and yet wanna take it away. most of us in TTC, have been trying for ages, some lucky ones got pregnant in 4 mths, some tried for coming one yr and still cant get pregnant, and some have to result in gng for articifical fertility programme. I wont discourage u in doing wat u had planned to do, but letting u know how fortunate u are to be blessed with a little one, whom many have tried for many mths. think carefully, lots of things can be resolved if u dare to face it.
 
yuki

i fully agreed with Ling. Pls give it a 2nd thought. Don't do things on impulse. Perhaps you're still very young, but you'll never know whether you'll be so lucky to get another baby when u think u're ready for it. Bear in mind that even if it's just a tiny foetus now, it's still a life, it's your very own fresh & blood, do you really bear to kill it?

What you need to do now is to be brave & face it. It's not easy for 2 person to meet, and it's even more difficult for someone to be your child, all these are fated, pls give yourself a chance to enjoy motherhood, i assure u, it's full of fun & satisfaction. Your child will brighten up your day, will bring you lots of joy & happiness, etc....
 
bea: being a MTB, i was very sad to see such ignorant ppl. this little lady posted in another thread, saying she only 19 and had engaged in sexual intercourse without prevention and having thought tt her irregular period would helped her to get less pregnant. I was with TTC thread and seen lots of my friends trying very hard for bb, and many had tried till each mth crying when they see period coming. So disappointed tt they cant get pregnant, many had at times given up the thoughts but till today, most of them still insist on their hopes and trying all means n ways to get pregnant. Some even result in IUI n IVF. dun understand, why young ladies nowadays takes bb so easily, can just abort it. sad things to do.. till one fine day, they realised what they have lost...
 
Hi Ling

Agree! When i was trying to get pregnant few years back, i cried whenever my period came too, although bringing up a child is tough esp at the first 2 yrs, but i've no regrets, in fact i'm very proud of myself for having a 2 yrs old gal right now. She's growing everyday & even if my work really sucks, once i see her after work, my smiling face will come back, it's really worth the effort.
 
bea: ya.. like me.. tummy getting bigger each day, happy to see a life inside which too struggling to make its way into this world, and yet some just wan to have an easy way out. but i guess thats life...
 
ling,
wats the point of critizing n scolding?
can it help? u tink it will help the matter?
yupz..we did it without thinking..
we realise it now. we regret it now. we feel sorry n bad now. u tinks words can describe how i feel?
 
Yuki

Stay cool...now it's not the time to get angry, be it it's scolding or whatsoever, all of us meant well. We only want to convey this message to you: ie Life is precious, it's a blessing to have your own kid, don't destroy it out of impulse.
 
yuki: who am i to reprimand u? my msg to u wasnt scolding, it is just strong to emphasis ignorance in you, and letting u understand life better. My hubby and myself tried so hard for a bb, and almost landed gng for an artifical fertility programme, and you here, did something which most young ladies wanna experience, and landed yourself in a state of Hurt... isit worth it? I was once young like u, i understand wat is like being young n ignorant. dear lady, dun take our words for granted, as we all meant well for u n the little one. After this mistake, one can easily forget, and would u sleep n forget or engrave inside ur heart what happen and take it as a punishment? of cos, i am not u or ur parents to tell u wat to do, but just wan to enlighten u and make u realise how ppl look at little life.

seek help from ur parents... even they scold u, they are just being heart pain for u. i am now gng to be a mummy, and i will surely be there for my little ones the next time... the safest plc and the best person, will still be ur parents to scold u, but they too the one to comfort u and be ur shelter.
 
yuki: i saw ur post in another thread abt ur bf...

worry that ur bf's family lose face? he should face the music of his parents, cos he did something which he failed to be responsible. why should u be the one worrying? Poor girl, now u the one suffering n thinking solutions to helped him escaped the music? isit worth? why do so much? let him be a man to face the reality, and ask him dun let u suffer alone like this.
 
Hi Yuki,

you are young at this age and may have worries on how people around you perceive this matter. I think the best for you now is to confide the truth in your parents and your boyfriend in his parents.

If your boyfriend does not mind whether you keep or abort the baby, why don't the both of you keep the baby, the fruit of your love? If there is still true love between you and your boyfriend, both of you can consider early marriage. I know you feel helpless now and feel that nobody understands how you feel but trust us, we do. We've been through your age. We know at this age, financial issue is a big problem to support the child. You may face difficulties at the start as both you and your boyfriend have not achieved academically or established your career, but you can still gain support from both sides' family members. I believe they will stand by the both of you. Life is precious and this is your own sweet baby, do consider that you can still obtain help from his and your parents. Do not ever think that your future is ruined because of the baby. You are not too young to be a parent. I've seen ladies at 15 years old being a mother and they've never regretted bringing their babies to this world.

You can still achieve what you want in life be it academically or in your future career even after being a mother. It's never too late if you have set your mind in deciding to do it. I've been to the university before and have seen ladies going to the university even after they become a mother. If you have the will, you will have the way.

Yuki, if you really find it hard to confide in his or your parents, do consult a counsellor who will advise you rather than keeping it in yourself and suffering in silence. This won't help you or your boyfriend solve the problem.

Trust me, it's not very easy to have a child, I'm now trying very hard. Just to bring to your awareness that if abortion procedures are not done properly, it may affect your future conception. It will be a great pity to give up this child if u and ur boyfriend are still so much in love. It's not always bad to start a family early. Imagine your child's age gap will not be very far away from the both of you and you'll be such a close-knitted family next time.

Do take care of your health, Yuki. Stress is no good for you now. There's no need for any regrets as it is not wrong for having this child. It may be just different people's conception or perception that is frightening you. Try talking to your parents, they may scold you or whatever, ultimately they will still be the ones standing by you and supporting you. Be brave and face this matter strongly, my dear. Who knows if you keep this child and 2 years down the road, you may come in this forum again to tell us how proud you are to have this child
happy.gif
 
Yuki,
Personally, I am a mom to a one year old girl. I had a miscarriage before I had her.

I must say the miscarriage was dramatising and I would advise no one should go for a d&c (abortion also) if it can be helped.

I would want to tell you that life is on-going. You have many more years to come. Ask yourself, if there wasn't a baby, would you marry your now bf? And would he marry you? Will you two be together forever? Will his and your family like the idea? Life and marriage does not involve just the two of you...it consists of people around us too.

If your answer is unsure or no, then please do not have the baby. Either go thru the abortion or have the baby up for adoption. There will be many loving parents out there who are childless to love your child. If you chose to abort, bear in mind the consequences it might bring. Not only health wise, but long term fears and anxiety esp IF you dun marry this now bf next time... When I had a m/c, the first thing doc asked me, "Did I ever had an abortion?" If your then-hubby knows abt your past, it is fine. But if he doesn't then how do you think he will think?
Either way, as a woman, we are just born to have to face the consequences.
My theory being, I rather suffer myself and face what consequences of abortion or adoption (guilt, fear, worries, reduced chances of pregnancy later) later then to keep the child with me, then have him/her subject to divorce, fights and arguements.

But if your answer is yes, then why not have the baby? If you are sure that both of you are willing to take up the responsibility for the kid, it doesn't matter if you are ready or not.
No one is born ready to have a child. I have 2 frens who got married cos they found themselves pregnant. Both of them are not ready for a child, financially or emotionally. But they knew their relationship with their bfs were solid. So they wedded. Now one is a proud mother to 2 toddlers and one is a proud mom to one toddler.
happy.gif
See? Life works itself out.

Ask yourself what is it that you can do and cannot do. If this bf is worth it all? It is very easy for us to say only. But you are the one who have to face the music... Do what you think best. Just remember that you shouldn't be in this alone. If he doesn't mind you keeping the baby or not, chances are he doesn't mind keeping you or not too.

Take care Yuki
 
yuki, i do agree with what the other ladies like Bea, Ling and Daisy had said...


do think carefully be4 U act... its a life inside U U're talking abt, and pls do not act rashly.. Do talk things out with yr BF and both family members or maybe U can go for counselling as well..
 
Yuki,
i'm another one from the ttc thread... i see a lot of nice ladies have already brought up their concern for u... i just hope my posting is not too late!

Just want to tell u that u're not alone! NOBODY is EVER alone! And no no, dear girl, not true that u have no choice! Its just that u're not aware of other better choices... u do not yet see wat a beautiful baby u will bring to this world, u do not yet see wat joy and estacsy your baby will bring! That first smile, that first sound... "MA MA"! U are a ma ma now, u know that?
happy.gif


Tell u a secret, a lot of us wished we had tried for a baby earlier, we would have totally enjoyed a shotgun marriage i think! In fact we envy those who had shotgun marriages, no need to try and try like us and yet still see red every mth, i can tell u that feeling totally sucks!!! (i would have said something more vulgar but i think here not allowed...
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)

I'm happy for u that at least now there's 1 more woman on earth who doesn't have to suffer wat we suffered! (do u know how many woman are drooling over that cute little baby in your stomach? i know i'm one! hee...) Provided u dun make the mistake of taking away your baby's life!

U know that u can prob hear your baby's heartbeat now? Its very very fast one, thud-thud-thud-thud like bullet like dat, hee...

(p/s: if u want to talk privately to any ladies, u can always PM them... u know how to send pte msgs? just click on the nick... i think we would love to hear from u!)

Just want u to know nobody is ever alone. If u're willing, u'll find many big sisters here... whether to help u prepare your wedding, or give u tips on easing morning sickness or just to be a listener!
happy.gif


Yuki, u live only once, u want to enjoy everything there is to life, u want to enjoy love, u want to enjoy being loved, right? Your baby also only live once... now the question is will you also let your baby enjoy life, just as u had?
 
yuki: u see... many wanted to have bb like u, but each mth we tried, we only see red. of cos, you are now young n fail to understand us, but we surely been through ur stage and knows wats on ur mind. till one fine day, when u are in our shoes, u will then realise the importance of us having said so much.
 
I agree with Linda. Yuki, it was silly to have unprotected sex w you BF. Unfortunately, while many girls get away w it, you got pregnant and you have to deal w the consequences. Whether you get an abortion, give the baby up for adoption or raise it yourself, it is going to be difficult. The best thing you can do now is speak to someone you trust or a counsellor to discuss your options.

Several people here have been applying a lot of emotional pressure. This doesn't help in any way. While i sympathise with those who are trying to conceive, please remember that you are happily married and trying to bring a child into a loving family. The situation is quite different for Yuki. Who is going to help thru her pregnancy or her raise the child? Who will smooth things over w her family? There has been a lot of talk about why should keep her baby because she will love him, how alot of people want a baby but can't have it, but so far there hasn't been much real advice. Just because yuki keeps the baby doesn't mean that it will be easier for other people to have babies. It's like saying people in Africa are starving, so eat everything on your plate even if it's oily and bad for health. I have seen many people who had unwanted pregnancies. Some chose abortion. Almost all were depressed, but while many regretted putting themselves in that situation by having premarital sex, they did NOT believe that keeping their child would have been a better option. For those who chose to keep, again they regretted having premarital sex, but they often wondered what their life would have been like without a child and sometimes they regret having kept the child, but this was very rare. Yes, abortion has risks, but then so does pregnancy.

yuki, whatever you do, please consider all options first with someone who can give you objective advice and can tell you all the options open to you. But please learn a lesson and do not have premarital sex. If you must, at least use protection.
 
Just because yuki keeps the baby doesn't mean that it will be easier for other people to have babies. ===> yes it doesnt help, but at least save an innocent life which was unintentionally brought into the world.

Several ppl applying emotional pressures? nope, cos ppl stating fact on how hard one is trying, and one little lady here just fail to realise the impt of actions which becomes her reaction.

if keeping a ShotGun bb maybe not be a good option, as many separated after the birth of the child, but there are some who are till today are still happily married n having another child added to the family. Seriously speaking, all options will still land with a result, but its up to one to be brave to face it. We arent saint. Some of us went through silly decisions like yuki, and once ignorant too.
 
thanks to grin for putting yourself in my shoes.
for thinking for me.
for everytink.
for giving me the emotional support just by your single message.
once against thank u.
this will be my last post here.
 
Yuki whatever u do pls tink it over..consider other option like wat grin say..

I'm too like u when i was found out tat i'm pregnent..but i choose to face because i noe i haf to..because there's a LIFE in me..

I'm glad i've choose the rite thing because now i'm happliy married to the men i love & wif a lovely baby.i'm 20 dis yr planning 4 a second baby.

Tok to ur bf & ur parents they may not b angry of u afterall u r still their daughter..
 
ling,
by critizing, by reposting my thread in ttc, by getting your friends to come help critizise is by no means helping at all.

u really make me decide that its a bloody mistake to come in here.
 
Hi Yuki,

Nobody here is critizing you for your actions...its a fact that the BB is innocent.

I feel that you should speak to your parents about your pregnancy. Of coz,they would feel upset that u have landed yourself in tis state.
But then it would be more hurtful for them if they ever found out that u took away an innocent life jus becoz ur afraid of wht the future might bring.

Please have a good talk with your parents, I'm sure they would support ur decision if you decide to keep the child.

God bless you...
 
Abortion

Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now...I so wanted to be
your
little
girl. I don't quite understand what has
happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing
my
existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable
place.
I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far
along in my developing, yet not near
ready to
leave my surroundings. I spent most of my
time
thinking or sleeping. Even from my
earliest
days,
I felt a special bonding between you and
me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried
with
you.
Sometimes you would yell or scream,
then
cry. I
heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and
hoped you
would be better soon. I wondered why you
cried so
much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I
hurt
for you. I couldn't imagine why you were
so
unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing
happened. A
very mean Monster came into that warm,
comfortable
place I was in. I was so scared, I began
screaming, but you never once tried to
help
me.
Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was
screaming and screaming, "Mommy,
Mommy, help me
please! Mommy, help me." Complete
terror is
all I
felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought
I
couldn't anymore. Then the monster
started
ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the
pain i
can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I
begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as
it
ripped my leg off. Though I was in such
complete
pain, I was dying. I knew I would never
see
your
face or hear you say how much you love
me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I
had
so
many plans to make you happy. Now I
couldn't, all
my dreams were shattered. Though I was
in
utter
pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart
breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your
daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I
could only imagine the terrible things
that
they
had done to you. I wanted to tell you that
I love
you before I was gone, but I didn't know
the
words
you could understand. And soon, I no
longer
had
the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt
myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge
angel
into a
big beautiful place. I was still crying, but
the
physical pain was gone.

The angel took me away to a wonderful
place. Then
I was happy. I asked the angel what was
the
thing
was that killed me. He
answered, "Abortion. I
am
sorry, for I know how it feels." I don't know
what
abortion is, I guess that's the name of the
monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to
tell you
how much I wanted to be your little girl. I
tried
very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had
the
will, but I couldn't; the monster was too
powerful.

It sucked my arms and legs off and finally
got
all
of me. It was impossible to live. I just
wanted
you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't
want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that
abortion
monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for
you to
go
through the kind of pain I did. Please be
careful.

Love,
Your Baby Girl

PRO CHOICE??? DO YOU THINK THESE
BABIES CHoOSE TO
DIE???
 
yuki, pls do cool down... No one is scolding or critizing U.. Just wanted to tell U that there is a human being inside U...

if there are choices and options ard without having to go thru an abortion , pls do choose and consider them...


I have a friend who did an abortion and she regretted her choice greatly.. She miss the baby terribly ...

Do have a good discussion with both sides of parents... I believe they will help U thru it...
 
yuki: i once again tell u tt i am not critizing. but when one fine day, u realised wat u have done it gng to be too late.

last nite, at 10plus, i was admitted to A&E cos i was bleeding. when i realised i was bleeding at home, the first thing came was to rush to hosp. to save my little one. i cried while getting change, cos we both knew how much tt bb meant us. We created them, be it purposely or unintentionally, its our part to bring them to this world. my hubby was in a state a shock, cos little one so small.. and when i reached the hosp, my gyane then scan for my bb, and found it was ok, and she even amplified bb's heartbeat for us to listen.. i tell u, the emotions were so great, tt i almost cried... that little sac has a heartbeat. The nurse asked, do u wan a bb girl or boy.... i told her, as long as bb is ok & healthy, boy or girl it doesnt matter. cos its ours... a little precious stone which no one can ever replace. I was then now confine in bed till monday till i get to see my gynae again.

to u my words might came a little strong, cos u fail to understand yourself, and refused to listen to ppl who knows whats a life is all about. maybe till u are older, u will be able to find ur inner self, but tt will be long way before u can even make a wise choice.

many dun wan bb, and abort them, many give birth to bb and dump them into bin, many wan bb, cant give birth, and many wan bb went to adopt. We all live life once, and how many times would we be able to make such mistakes?

you can abort, but will u live ur life the same? will u be the same girl who is forever seems smiling endlessly, or will be the one who gng to change to be another person? many here been through more than u, and at least surely seen more than u. giving u strong advices dun more critism, but just wan u to know, what is more impt in yr life.
 
Gals,
I think you are giving her a lot of pressure. It's already pressuring enough to be in such situation.


Yuki,
Cool down... Being heated up or stressed up will not help in making a decision. You need a clear mind to think properly.
I think you should talk to a trained counsellor. They will listen to you and help you. They will be able to present to you your options and advice you cos they have seen lots.
You may want to seek help from ALife (www.alife.org.sg), Fei Yue Community Services (www.fycs.org)
 
Yuki,
You may want to search through the website of ALife and read about the facts of abortion. Hopefully, the articles will help you make a decision. You can also call them and seek help from their trained counsellors.
May God Bless you.... Hope you will be able to tide over this stressful period soon.
 
We arent saint, we protect a life, and not harm one. Not till u lost something precious and start regretting.

after lose it then regret? or regret before one loses it?
 
Yuki
Just remember that whatever decision you make, your family members will be there to support you. Even if you decide not to keep the child, and after you go thru the operation, just look forward. Do not look back. Give yourself time , start new life again. I am sure you have a reason for any decision you make.

Hope this helps!
 
hi all

just to share my views on abortion...

it's not right to end a new life but...you will need to consider the circumstances/situation the new life will grow up in...

e.g. if the baby is born out of wedlock with parents not loving/wanting each other, three lives may be destroyed at once...and this is for three people's lifetimes...a very long time...and of course this will involve other people as well.

i totally understand the love/want/pressure for babies, but sit back and think...will this baby be happy...will the parents be happy? should we destroy everyone's future for the sake of one that hasn't started?

i recently adopted this thinking when i heard of a n acquaintance who got pregnant by her ex-bf. her mum is forcing the guy to marry her. she wants to marry him, but bf actually dumped her several times already. ok so maybe the guy is a jerk, but bottomline is she wants him, she wants baby. he doesn't want her and the baby. her parents want him to want them. how can there be a happy ending? should the pain be carried forward to another generation where the child may be a victim of a broken family...

for me, in such circumstance, i'd rather sacrifice one then to jeopardise everyone's future. that's me.
 
Dear dear yuki...
i dunno wat to say! Its unfair to Ling when u said that she instigated her ttc frens to come and criticise u...
sad.gif
As if we have anything to gain from this??? i just want to explain a little here... Ling is just like u, she is pregnant too! Look, people are genuinely concerned and worried for u, its fine if u do decide to go for an abortion, it is not going to affect anybody else, but u will become a different Yuki... and that's wat we're worried abt! Nobody wants to criticise u, my dear, everyone here wants the best for u, whether we word it nicely or not... we're just afraid u will regret, dun u understand?

U know, I would have told u different things if this is a year ago... i would have told u to go ahead, go asap before u have chance to think twice, ask for a referal from a GP, or go to a pte gynae clinic (those with the word "surgery" in their signboard will likely be able to perform an abortion), ask for general anesthesia cos i assure u, u wouldn't want to be conscious and see how the doc uses his equipments... u will need to lie on the surgical bed with your panties off, and u will have to open up your legs... have u done a pap smear before? I hope u have, so at least u will feel less shy abt opening up your legs to a gynae. Get $400-500 from your bf, that's the least he can do, and anyway he is a rich fellow so $$ shdn't be a problem to him. After which, give yourself a mini confinement, eats lots and lots of bu2 ping3, dun carry heavy things. And remember to take birth-control pills or use a heavy-duty condom in future...

oh man, i feel like crying after writing all these! Yuki must u really go thru this?
sad.gif
 
Dear Yuki,

just wanna tell you the truth, Ling did not ask us here. We came here because we care for you even though we do not know you. There's still warmth in this world. Everyone thinks differently and there's no definite right or wrong to a decision made. Some may see your decision as right considering your situation. Some may feel that you should at least seek ur parents' or counsellor's advices before u do anything as you're still young and they're afraid you'll make the wrong decision. If you do feel pressurised by us who advice you to keep your baby, I apologise.

Whatever your decision is, I hope that it is something which you will feel good in the future and not regrets in the days down the road. Wish you all the best. Take care.
 
Hi Yuki,
I came across an article in the Sunday Times yesterday on "Pregnant and alone?". You can get in touch with a counsellor via sms.

You can contact sms babes on 811-3535 via sms.

Or call the National Pregnancy Helpline on 1800-686 8623.

You should seek professional help to help you get through this situation.
 
daisy & Naturally: dun worry, i am never bothered. not my daugther anyway. i rather worry for my little bb... later see u two at ttc.. tata
 
Hmmm Yuki,
not too sure if u'll be reading this since read that u got super pissed off on Saturday.

I'm not going to tell u if its right or wrong to abort.. (think that's what many hv posted about... sorry yah, i too lazy to read :p) Instead, can i suggest that you have a good friend to go thru this period of time w u? not ur bf but a good buddy. Especially when going thru the abortion n the time after it.

Nope, i din go thru it myself but i'm the 'buddy' who stayed on w my friends. trust me! u need someone cos not only its mentally tormenting (all the guilts n pain) its physically draining too.

Hope u always remember this... no doubt the little one is a life, but so is urs. So no matter what's the decision, please continue to love urself cos one day, another little angel is going to come along... and it will be difficult to get love from a mum who no longer love herself..

All of us makes mistakes.. just dun dwell in it
 
Dear Yuki,

It has been two months plus, 75 days to be exact, since you last posted here. I guess whatever your decision is, it has already done and nothing can change it anymore.

I feel so compulsive to write because, on 05 March 2005, the day when you were so pissed off and perhaps the day you decided to go for abortion (hopefully not), my baby died. She passed away after a short stay of 67 days in this world, due to her congenital heart problem.

I learnt about her heart problem when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Doctor asked us whether we wanted to abort her, I kept her, not everyone in our families standed by my desicion, even my MIL tried to persuade us "think again", I insisted I wouldn't give her up. I have no regret eventhough I still lost her at the end. I have no regret because at least now I know how she looked like, my memory for her is vivid. If I had aborted her, all I have when I moan for her is a vague image.

Some had suggested me to adopt a child, but I don't want. Some had said that having a new baby help because he/she can fill the hole in my heart, and I can tell you it can never be. When you lost your child, YOU LOST IT FOREVER, no matter what you do later trying to rectify, and NO ONE can subsitute the one you lost.

That's what I hope you will know.

I really hope that there was no another life lost on that sad day - My heart aches everytime when I mentioned this day, and every saturday is a torture for me after that day.

Wish you all the best.

tan tan
 
TSH, my heart goes out to u after i read ur story.. so sad to hear of what had happened to ur gal.. May God Bless her...


U too got to take care of urself well..
 
tan tan, my heart goes out to you too. I sincerely hope that you recover well, and find happiness soon.

I believe that once conceived, the embryo is a life. At 10 weeks, the tiny head, arms, legs can be seen moving at ultrasound and the heartbeat can be heard. Abortion is equivalent to killing one's own baby. I find it cruel that the unborn foetus is not considered human. It is just like more than 100 years ago, black slaves are also not considered humans and have no rights. I hope that one day laws will change to protect the unborn child.
 
I really hate to see those couple who get married because of the baby(esp those know each other for less than 3 months.
Worse siao then divorce after get married for less than 1 year.

Yuki
yes or no is up to you.
As i have no right to say anything.
I have choose a NO during my age at 18
BUT it took me 8 year to have the brave of giving birth.
Even now i still can't get over.(will be life time)
Really hope you can think twice.
If given a chance to choose, i will say a YES no matter what.

Tks god for giving me a cute angle now after the wrong decision i made 8 year ago.
 
I just feel that what is the use of keeping the baby when you cant even support yourself. Thinking about it, if you cant give an affordable life to the baby, it is best that you abort it rather letting the baby suffer.
In this world, money might not be the biggest issue but frankly it is a must to have money. I see alot of family broken up becos of financial problem. So think twice.
 
Judith,
I feel otherwise. If u know u can't support yourself or not financial stable don't flirt in bed with your bf/hb...after all, is the adult fault not the baby...abortion is not a good solution...abortion may lead to side effect in your body probably in the future u will hv problem conceiving when u are ready to hv one...u can give up the baby for adoption rather to abort him/her...
 


Only the mother alone can make the decision to keep or abort the baby. We, as the forumers, can only give our views and encouragement.

But seriously, if one can't afford raising a baby, best advice is to abstain totally from sex. If one can't, then at least have the decency to take preventive measures. No use giving all sorts of excuses once the baby is created. The affordability/responsibility issue does not come into picture only after one gets pregnant. There's no right or wrong decision. Whatever decision the mother makes, she'll have to live with it for life.

A lot of families broke up b'cos they tried/wanted to live beyond their financial means. Some poor families can raise big happy families. Some rich families fell apart with just one/two kids. My view is - babies don't make you any poorer. A family just has to adjust their lifestyle and expectations within financial means. In fact, if you manage it well, babies make your life "richer".
 
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