1. We've compiled a list of frequently asked questions and their answers at http://singaporemotherhood.com/forum/threads/faq-on-using-the-new-forum.21478/
    Dismiss Notice


Discussion in 'Motherhood, Pregnancies And Babies' started by kelly_koh, Mar 26, 2004.

  1. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Hi all,

    I received an email on abortion. It contains a letter from the dead baby as well as some pretty gruesome pictures of the deab BB. Being someone who went through an abortion myself, I was so sad after reading it that I cried.

    For those who are thinking about going through an abortion, you might want to look at it. It will shake some sense into you.

    Leave me your email addy if you are interested to view.

  2. minnie_gal16

    minnie_gal16 New Member

    Hi Kelly,

    Would like you to send me the email. Not for myself but for a friend who has went thru 5 abortions cos' of her irresponsible boyfriend. She thinks its ok to go for abortion. Email: blue_banana6916@yahoo.com.sg Thanks.
  3. elfy

    elfy New Member

    Hi kelly,

    I would like to see the e-mail too. Please send it to: elfffffy@yahoo.co.uk

    Thank you.
  4. young_jes

    young_jes Member

  5. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Hi Minnie, elfy & Jes,

    You've got mail.
  6. elfy

    elfy New Member

    Thanks Kelly. But perhaps you may want to warn those who will be asking you for this mail that not everyone may be able to stomach those pictures.
  7. okeanosmao

    okeanosmao New Member

    i've seen this email too. agreed wif elfy, mayb u may warn them..but no harm knowing the truth abt abortion.
  8. minnie_gal16

    minnie_gal16 New Member

    Hi Kelly,

    Thanks. Will send this to my friend and hopefully, she will be more sensible.
  9. coven

    coven New Member

    knowing how it was done might not be exactly helpful, it might only serve as a deterent. tell her to talk to a gyna or obstetrican on preventive method. there r other ways besides pills and condoms.
  10. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Yes, noted. I will include in my email that you might feel uncomfortable after seeing the pictures. Actually I do have that message, but I somehow got it deleted from the message!!
  11. lovelydolphin

    lovelydolphin New Member

  12. joice

    joice New Member

  13. aquarius_888

    aquarius_888 Active Member

  14. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Hi ladies,

    You've got mail.
  15. Dear Mommy,

    I am in Heaven now, sitting on god' lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

    Your Baby Girl
  16. just_curious

    just_curious Guest

    kelly, how old were you when you went through your abortion? You currently have a daughter that you conceived before marriage right?
  17. mavys_m2bagain

    mavys_m2bagain New Member

  18. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Hi just_curious,

    I was 17 when I went through my abortion. I have a 4 year old daughter now which I conceived when I was 18.


    You've Got Mail!
  19. just_curious

    just_curious Guest

    sorry for asking so much, but I'm curious. Did you regret doing the first abortion? Would you have aborted if time went back?

    Is the father of your first child (the one you aborted) the same as the man who father this current 4 yr old child you have now?
  20. indignant

    indignant New Member

    sorry but i just couldn't help it, there's something called privacy, and i think u shd respect it. Why do u have to put kelly in a spot by asking such personal stuff on an internet forum free for all to see? Kelly, don't answer this nosyparker!
  21. just_curious

    just_curious Guest

    well, let kelly choose whether to answer or not, after all, I AM just curious, no harm intended. If she feels that she is embarassed or ashamed of her past, then she can jolly well not answer. But then, even if she answer, its not like I will know who she is in real life or be able to recognise her in public.
  22. coven

    coven New Member

    actually u didnt hv to answer just_curious coz just as the nick said 'just_curious'. and whether u had one when with who blah blah .. u're not answerable to anyone else except urself.. dont entertain curious questions even if this person is no stranger to u.
  23. if it the same father for the aborted one and this one, then why first time he let you abort your child? not heart pain meh? and after that you still stick to him ah? then y second time he wan to keep the child? or issit because he regret aborting the first one?

    if its not the same father, then you dare to have sex again with another man after going thru an abortion??? pei fu....
  24. xiaohui

    xiaohui New Member

    hMm..i've miss my period 4 10+ daes, i'm worry.. i'm 17 tis yr.. If i reli hit the jackpot, how can i break the news to moi parents?? so abortion came to my mind.. no choice.. and i dun think i can afford one too. how how how? pls gib mi sum advice.. tHanx..
  25. big_apple

    big_apple New Member

    xiaohui, pls dun wait, go to pharmacy buy the pregnancy test kit (i hear the clearblue brand is easy to read n accurate) and test. If positive, u can test again after another 3 days to confirm.

    It will not go away by u just sitting there and waiting. I hope u learn your lesson that at that young age, you should not be having unprotected sex when u are not married!!!
  26. trazz

    trazz New Member

    hi, i just got a question in mind regarding pregnancy.
    will the discharge from penis during foreplay cause pregnancy? if the discharge did get in contact with the vagina?
  27. someone

    someone Guest

    hi trazz

    this is a very broad question...there is of course possibility (though i would not say it is of very, very high chance as opposed to actual intercourse) to result in pregnancy..

    the discharge might consists of sperms during the intimacy, even if the man does not come inside, the sperms might still be able to find their ways into the vagina & hatch a fertile egg, especially you mention it does get in contact with the vagina...

    The above is of course based on assumptions that the sperms are healthy/strong & the woman is in her fertile period...

    Hope this helps!clipart{wink}
  28. mngo

    mngo Active Member

    big apple, these pple should NOT EVEN have sex when they are not married!!
  29. hamasaki

    hamasaki Active Member

    Hi all, I'm new here..
    I had a friend who was not married but than had 3 abotions already by 2 different men and never once she regretted doing it. In fact, she said happily that she can always get pregnate in future if she wants to have a baby.. I have told her before she got pregnate with her 1st child that its best to have protection but she never once heed my advice..

    The bad news strike when she decided to have a child. Months of trying failed and the doc told her that she can't have a baby as she had an infection on her last abortion which cause her to be infertile and incapable of getting pregnate again..
    So its best to have protection when one is not ready for a baby..

    May God Bless All...
  30. wat_happen

    wat_happen New Member

  31. fallen

    fallen New Member

  32. carolliang

    carolliang New Member

  33. kelly_koh

    kelly_koh New Member

    Hi Carol,

    Apologies, I have deleted the file.

  34. carolliang

    carolliang New Member

    Hi Kelly,

    It okies. Thank anyway..
  35. yhynyn

    yhynyn New Member


    Does Anyone have the copy which Kelly had? Pls send it to me at yhynyn@yahoo.com.sg. Thks....
  36. mumofone

    mumofone New Member

    hi xiaohui,

    I understand your plight. I think you should seek help if you are sure that you are not ready for this pregnancy. I remember reading an article about some centres that helped pple through abortion. If i am not mistaken, the whole process is not expensive less than a hundred i think.

    The most important thing is not too drag it for too long.

    If you need any help, you can email me personally
  37. dar_n_dee

    dar_n_dee New Member

    Hi, am writing to anyone who might have gotten yourself pregnant by mistake. please do not abort your baby. it is a life worth saving. do email me if you are in such a situation, i am interested to adopt the baby and we can discuss how i might be able to help you with the hospital expenses. thank you. <dar_n_dee@yahoo.com.sg>
  38. ugly_teeth

    ugly_teeth New Member

    Hi kelly, can i talk to you? It seems that the send private message to you function is disabled.

    I had mine done when i was 15. Now i'm 21. It's really sad...

    And not worth it..... my then bf broke up with me after 7 months of my op....

    Did mine at Mt Elizabeth..... only remembered myself crying when i was about to wake up from the anaethetic effect when the whole op was completed........

    Now, whenever i go for runs, i'd feel extreme pain at the abdominal/womb area....

    I've never told anyone of this op i've gone through.. no one knew it except me and my then boyfriend.....

    Since then, i've had no courage to date... i felt totally..... useless...... and i didnt want to harm any good guys because i'm an evil person.....

    Urgh!! I'm feeling so frustrated! I need to talk to someone who has similar experience...

    It's really really bad to keep this inside me for 6 years!!

    Sometimes i wish to tell it to the guy i love... but i didnt have the courage.......... and so decided that i'm a worthless person....... worthless cause i've gone thru an abortion......

    I'm not even sure whether i'll even get married in future..... not sure even if i get married, i'll be able to conceive or not........

    All these worryings... and guilt.... are making me so..... depressed....

    Though its been 6 years, the guilt is there.... and this is a wound that time definitely cannot heal.....
  39. cclyn

    cclyn Member

    Hi esteem
    i thought under the age of 16 yrs must get parents consent for abortion.
  40. ugly_teeth

    ugly_teeth New Member

    I didnt have to... Actually the day i was having abortion, i was 17 days to becoming 16.

    First i went to a private clinic to do a ultrasound scan. Then the doctor inserted his finger inside my vagina. I didnt expect all that to happen.

    He told me my baby was already 3 months old. That period of time, i was taking my O levels examination, and i cannot afford to delay... i know i'm very selfish..........

    He said he couldnt do the op for me, and wrote a referal letter to his friend, which is an obstetrician at Mount E.

    The process i went through was counselling at some government hospital. They tried to talk me out of it. The counselling lasted quite long.

    First was by a nurse working at the hospital, followed by a social worker.

    Then was watching the video time. After that, i went straight to Mount Elizabeth and proceeded on with the op.

    I registered, read and signed the declaration form or something like that.

    Next, i entered a room and changed into a 'robe'. Laid on the operating 'table'. The doctor came in soon after, and injected my hand with anaesthetic.

    He kept talking to me, and the next thing i knew, i felt sleepy and fell asleep...

    When i woke up, i was crying and crying...

    Before i decided on abortion, i've considered many other methods... but....... i still chose this.................

    No parental consent was needed througout the entire process..... i duno about the practise now......

    But.... never go for abortion..... really...... it hurts........ mentally.....
  41. ugly_teeth

    ugly_teeth New Member

    I don't mind if you people want to ask me any questions, or express any anger or views regarding my action back then.

    It was really a moment of folly... i was too naive... for i thought he was the first and last one... sigh~

    I really hope i can share and maybe help in preventing further incidents like this from happening.
  42. not_so_easy

    not_so_easy New Member

    You are brave to share with others your experience. Indeed it is never easy to go thru it all by yourself at such a young age.

    Let bygone be bygone, and don't reprimand yourself, you learnt from there and moves on, as all human err, but don't repeat it.

    I am most glad to listen to you if you wish too.

    Brace Up!!
  43. handydog

    handydog New Member

    Esteem..to have kept something like that in u for 6 yrs all alone is very tough. U were too young to make that decision and shd not be alone to make that decision. The wound will be there forever, but life must go on. Guilt will only kill u inside. U learn yr lesson, now u have to let go and stand stronger, there's still a bright future 4 u, you're only 21.

    A right man will come along, he who loves u will never mind yr past. Many women who went thru abortion also have kids and hv happy marriage. Do not be afraid to claim yr own happiness, just hv to let go. It's the way u repay yr unborn as well as yrself for going thru such torment.

    Even as strangers, we are here to listen and advice if we can.
  44. ugly_teeth

    ugly_teeth New Member

    But its really hard to let go. I wonder how come i had the "courage" back then to go for the operation, but now i have absolutely no courage to tell my ugly past to anyone i know...

    Last night, my aunt called. She told us the doctor found a tumour-like thing which is 6CM inside her womb area.

    Hope its not cancerous... and she had an abortion before when she was young... somehow, she wasnt able to conceive, and adopted a baby girl and treated her like her own...

    All i can say is, the future is unpredictable... i really hope there won't be any further case of such operations throughout the world... its really saddening...

    But how can we prevent it? Even with education etc, it doesnt really seemed to help...

  45. handydog

    handydog New Member

    We all have to look at the brighter side of things. Education is important. Most of all parental guidance is the crucial key. As parents, we shoulder the responsibitlities to guide our children, to train &amp; teach them into responsible adults. Even if they make mistakes, we have the duty to stand by them and help them make the right decisions. We all can do our part, even by discussing in this forum, we may too can save little lives. Esteem, don't lose heart, u hv a deep wound, by talking it out will help but only when u are ready to do so.
  46. rip_vdx

    rip_vdx New Member

    1st time here readin the forum..

    had an abortion tis yr oct..realised tt i was pregnant after missed periods n all teh usual symptoms.1st thing tt came to my mind is tt the baby comes at the time..

    i m still schoolin in a local uni n my bf is like 29yr n non-chinese.. parents din noe abt our r/s as yet coz well u noe.. chinese families are rather traditional n wld make a big hoo ha over my r/x wif tis portugese malay..

    tok to my bf abt it n he left the decision to me tho he wld really like to keep teh child n willing to bear all teh responsibility.tis is sth which i m veri touched of..

    bt nevertheless went for the abortion at a private clinic..went on my own..dun wanan put my bf in bad light..whole process is fast n cost 500 bucks..

    i tend to reflect on it now n then n will feel bad abt it..sometmes juz put it behind my mind nt wanting to tink too much into it..

    got the pills after nurse at clinic recommended to me.. telling me tt i haf to play safe n that pills are safer than condoms n tt guys dun like to wear condoms durin sexual activity..

    bt haven eaten coz i haven got my big M as yet.. still haf occasional intimate moments wif my bf bt we do carry out the safety precautions.. bt once in a while he'll be nottie bt nv let him ejaculate inside me..

    kinda worried coz abortion really disrupts ur cycle n eveything..no point for me to tell pple nt to haf abortions and etc when i went thru once..the whole process hurts esp to our mental n emotional states..

    but always rem tis..watever we do we really haf to be responsible for our own doings and haf to exercise our judgements properly..no matter wat, we gers tend to lose out..

    nv tell my gf abt tis..juz b/w me n my bf.. rite now.. worried abt my menses which supposed to come tis week or so.. cycle resumes 4-6mths after abortion..kinda afraid n worried nw..

  47. handydog

    handydog New Member

    Hi rip vdx,

    Sorry to hear that u hv to go thru'abortion, u just hv to move on &amp; complete yr studies first. However, I still feel that u hv yet to learn yr lesson, there is no 100% precaution to take. It juz take one sperm at a right timing, even if ur bf ejaculate outside, accident still will happen. What if he's not quick enuff or he did it bf he realises, being in the moment. No one can guarantee that u may not get pregnant again thru'these intimate moments. Being young yr chances of recovery &amp; getting yr next pregnancy is much easier.

    I hope I don sound like a nag, I truly believe u went thru'the emotional &amp; physical turmoil then &amp; even now. This will stay with u rest of yr life, but don let the life of the unborn be wasted with another irresponsible action. U are young &amp; should focus on yr studies. Noone says that u hv to hv sex with yr bf to hv a relationship. It takes more courage to be a responsible adult. U agree that girls lose out, true then why still? I believe both of u are in love, but are u ready for another accident to happen? If not, are u going for another abortion and so become a ez rountine for u? DO u know that abortion is actually also harmful for woman body. Some ladies may not get pregnant again or hv effects on their bodies over the yrs. Harsh I may be, but I do feel sorry for the unborn spirit &amp; wish that u can be more responsible. I'm a parent too, and if yr parents do find out, how hurtful they will be too.

    I know rite now, u are worry abt yr menses. Just relax, the more u worry the later it will come. But if still doesn't come after 1 mth, then u shd go for check-up &amp; urine test to ease yr mind.

    If everything goes well, I truly hope u think of what I mention &amp; focus on yr studies first.
  48. rip_vdx

    rip_vdx New Member

    hi handydog,

    well totally agree wif wat u said..well..was writing the 1st postin in the office..busy wif hol job tis dec.nw at home in my room readin all the postings in here.. n then i juz cried.. tears juz fell..

    dunno why..sometimes i really tot i m a strong person coz i m really boy boy n every one call me a guy..bt readin thru the postins n recalling back on the ordeal.. i feel realli bad..

    n hateful n angry wif myself after readin urs..it's like i noe wat i shdn;t be doing n yet i m doing it..oh well..

    giving a whole new tot abt the r/s i haf wif my bf n wat i want out from tis r/s..

    having tis terrible feeling rite nw..juz hate it.
  49. handydog

    handydog New Member

    Hey, everyone makes mistakes but most important that u learn from it. It's not ez to be young too &amp; hving so much freedom, I too went thru' it, though I'm not that old, but the choices u make in life stays with u for the rest of yr life. Sometimes u hv to just make yr stand &amp; say no. Nothing wrong to love yr bf, but if he truly loves u too, both can hv a healthy r/s without hving sex. There's more to learn abt each other in the dating time, experiencing the wonders of being in love. If sex is all he wants, then maybe he's not the rite one. W/o sex, is there a relationship? This is what u hv to ask yrself. No one can be strong in such circumstances, so it's good if u hv a gd gf or family member tt u can share with &amp; cry with. But never too late to start afresh again. Just hv to set yr mind to do the rite thing. If u can't handle alone, can always seek social help, if u don want any of yr friends or family to know. It's good to share yr thots with someone, load them off yr shoulders.
  50. not_so_easy

    not_so_easy New Member

    yes, you've done it before and regretted doing it too, so do learn from mistake and be firm to say "no" to sex, otherwise, do take precautions by all means...don't harm yourself again.

    is of no use worrying and blaming yourself. what's done cannot be undone, do love yourself and be strong to reject temptation.

Share This Page