Hi Hope_4_bb,
I feel like u're getting demoralised.i think everyone of us have been thru' that stage.with PC wong,i feel he's very conservative in terms of treatment.and he doesn't say much.i asked the nurse y no need to lie down,she said injected amt of sperm very little,so doesn't quite affect.i think private gynaes are more aggressive.they will give u drugs to make u ovulate,higher chance of success.but let me share with u my experience.saw a gynae a KKH,prescribed me clomid.really screwed my cycle up.in the end,didn't even get preg on 2 cycles.given 6 cycles of clomid.then i get mid cycle bleeding.at 1st,i was quite puzzled.b4 clomid,i was on 2 cycles of bai feng wan,also had mid cycle bleeding.waste my chance,i say.i purposely BD at O time,then with the bleeding,everything is flushed out.and if u think logically,bleeding means thinning of uterine lining = less favourable condition for implantation.i tot it was O bleeding,but never had that b4.and i had mid cycle bleeding even after i stopped clomid.during that cycle,i went for scan with PC wong,and i bled after i O.u know how he can tell u roughly when u O.so how does that explain the bleeding? even he couldn't give me an answer,so in the end,i tot i'll give my body a break off all these med and drugs,and guess wat? my mid cycle bleeding stopped,and after 3 cycles,i got preg.sometimes i wonder if i was too anxious and aggressive.if ur body is ready,and if the fertilisation results in a good foetus,u will get preg.that's my tot.i tell u,my hubby'd SA also no good.done 3 times,u know? 1st time was the preliminary one,2nd & 3rd time done during IUI.wat is CHR lab? the lab at NUH? PC wong said usually 3 times IUI,then IVF.but i tell u the trick.juz keep pushing him.try saying IUI success rate only 25%,IVF success rate after 3 cycles higher (can't rem figure offhand).tell him if u go thru' IVF and fail (touch wood),at least u know u tried and the only thing that is wasted is money.btw,if u do IVF at restructured hospital,can use medisave for 3 cycles.if do at private hospital,cannot use medisave.i have discussed jumping straight to IVF with PC wong,and he seems okie with it.but i tell u,i'm quite pushy,and he knows i'm in the medical field,so that helps.hehe...
Hope_4_bb,i'm also considering IVF.maybe we will end up being IVF cycle buddies.i'm going for a hysteroscopy 1 sep to c if my uterine lining is thick enough,if yes,doc going to remove IUD.YAH! i have IUD in me.means no chance of preggy at all.i got a shock when doc told me after the op,i need to have IUD in me.haha.i said so loud in front of him,"IUD?" and he tot i didn't know wat IUD meant,so he told me,"yes,intrauterine device".haha.but for the sake of reducing scarring,i'm telling myself to be patient.if the walls stick together and scar tissue forms,worse! i tell u,i've been bleeding for 4 wks now! and i'm a bit disappointed my hubby didn't go thru' the experience of the op with me.didn't even 'sayang' me.sigh.on the day of op,i went by myself.sometimes,i think i pamper him.now i think to myself,pamper him for wat? look at the way he's treating me.he met me b4 i went for the op,went back to work when i was having the op.i was so nice (silly to some ppl),i told him since i'm in the op,no use he sit ard and do nothing.he can go back to work.then after the op,he came.it was my parents who took me home coz he had to go back to work.he was juz sitting there watching tv when the nurse was taking out my catether.no emotions fr him.didn't even hold my hands.in the end,after the nurse took out the drip,she told him to press on the wound to stop the bleeding.at that moment,i tot to myself:wow! at last hubby is doing something for me.so my mum saw me suffer.she cooked for me,my aunt cooked for me.in the day,when there was no one at home,i went to my aunt's place coz at least she and my nieces and nephews could help me.my aunt saw my pain.my hubby? when he comes back late at night,didn't even ask abt me.a bit disappointed.coz of this experience,i asked myself y i wanna carry a baby for him.i'm having a baby to put him on the same platform as his friends,who are all fathers now.and coz we don't have kids,and of the stillbirth,all his friends with kids go out together.i feel guilty coz he's missing out.i told him he could go with them w/o me,but if u think again,wat is a single man doing with a bunch of families? meaningless,right?
somehow,after this surgery,i have put ttc on the back burner.i feel life is so much happier now i don't even have to have intercourse.haha.don't mistaken me,i love sex,i'm not those gals who repel sex.but at least i don't have to scheme to get my hubby to BD.or maybe it's coz i have things to refocus on.i now have my post grad,which is getting me very bz,and catching up on the loss time on my career coz i'm taking a lot of time off for the post grad.and i'm planning to enrich my life with activities i've always wanted to do.maybe it's coz the 2nd preg scared me.i'm not worried abt disappointment/unsuccessful preg.i'm more irritated by how ppl stifle me when i'm preg.like hubby,gynae said no soft cheese.to hubby,it's NO CHEESE thru'out preg.my mum won't even allow me to carry my handbag.she delivers food to my office,believe it or not.i cannot live a normal life,which i think it's impt for a healthy preg.mother must be happy.i cannot even watch certain tv programmes,juz like the okto programme on mon.there was 1 episode talking abt twins.i'm a twin,so i'm very interested,but coz it was abt complication of twin preg,i cannot watch it.it's all these ridiculous things that irks me.coping with morn sickness (preg no.2 was quite bad),with my bz work hrs (it's very intense when i work) etc,it's already taking a lot out of me,then i have to follow everyone else's rules.i have told myself if i get preg again,i won't tell even hubby.at least i can get thru' 1st trimester peacefully.
Hope_4_bb,as ur nick suggests,pls don't give up hope.once u give up hope,u don't believe,how to strike gold? u must believe,it's all in the mind.positive visualisation.
BB dream,
yes! boroccay is beautiful,but according to my filipino collegues,it's more tourisy than cebu,so it's more ex in general.when i went to cebu,i found out i could go to islands like borocay,but it take 3 hrs to drive,and 1 hr by ferry or something like that.so i think the next time i go to cebu,i will use it as a base and travel out fr there.spend a bit more time in cebu.btw,cebu pacific does not fly straight to borocay.u must change flights in manila (i think).and it's cheaper to book online by urself coz cebu pacific is a budget airline.
ladies,
I have to share something with all of u.i feel exceptionately happy today.as some of u know,i have passed the 1st annivesary of my stillbirth.i knew i was on the rd to recovery when i got really excited abt going to japan in april.i love to travel,and i have travelled after the stillbirth,but there was no excitement like wat i always anticipate b4 a trip.and this time to cebu,i was really excited to.i don't know y,but i'm so happy today.maybe it's coz i'm taking a break fr ttc.no need pacify hubby.after work,i went shopping.bought 2 bags.never felt so happy shopping.i used to love shopping.but after the stillbirht and all the ttc period,i really lost my zest.like i've said b4,maybe it's coz i have things to refocus on,i feel lighter and happier.and i also need to focus on regaining my wt.i aim to lose 3kg.2kgs fr preg no.1,1kg fr preg no.2.
so yes,1 yr on after the stillbirth,9 mths of ttc,and 2 losses,i finally feel happy again.it's such a liberating feeling,i have to say.and i alwyas tell my hubby,when u r happy,u exude a happy vibe,and somehow,things do fall into place.
kkekek 
