Monster,
I keep reading your earlier post...
Quote :
.....i would interpret every little cramp.i would tell myself: cramps can be a sign of preg too.when i had headaches,i refused to take med,juz in case i was preg.i even tested when i started spotting.i told myself it's normal to spot during early preg.i was lying to myself.my period is so regular.how is it possible to have preg spotting so exactly on the day of expected period? in the end,after many mths of speculation,i faced up to reality.i told myself no point testing until period is missed..."
You know I WAS exactly like you??? When I have headache, I refused to take panadols in case I am pregnant. When I am thirsty, I will look for warm water instead of coke, in case I am pregnant. When I have spotting, I still test on pregnancy kit...., telling myself even if preggy also can have spotty... every steps i take, every little thing i do, i just tell myself what if i am preggy, I need to be careful... It was until recent trip to Genting that I managed to calm myself down... hiong hiong take all the rides, drink coffee, carry my 2 year old niece etc etc.... think i have restricted myself too much in the past until i get too stressed up or unhappy....
I have faced up to reality... what is mine, will be mine. And now we enjoy BD more than last time... cos last time, we BD for the sake of making babies. Now we will BD for the sake of pleasing ourselves. It is more enjoying now. Of cos this TTC mission has also make our bond closer. I just feel hubby is there for me all the time.
It is my 34th birthday today. Hubby bought a cake this afternn, I wish that I have a baby to celebrate with me next year.... and when my maid bought me another cake this afternoon.... I made the same wish again.... I wish I have to have a pair of twins.... hahahaha!!!! Ya, I know I am greedy... what to do?!!! I am too desperate to have babies!!!
I am staying positive and finding a way out....