(2013) TTC for #2 & More Mummies !
- Thread starter koms20
- Start date
Joyful: i must share my experiences. Im working in a hospice and see patients being diagnosed suddenly and they are in final stage. Its scary, people are getting younger and younger... Its so sad, especially young families with young children. It breaks my heart to provide psychosocial support.
twinklestarworld
Member
Anne, u hv O pain, very likely u gg to O. Did u test yr opk? if positive today, then hv another round. hv a wild BD tonight! I want to bd also cannot, hb not around.. :|
joyceberries
Active Member
joyful : so there is changes in her before tat.. very poor thing leh.. then the son how..
anne : sperms can last inside for 3 to 5days.. depend on individual.. tink the swimmers is still inside u..
anne : sperms can last inside for 3 to 5days.. depend on individual.. tink the swimmers is still inside u..
joyceberries
Active Member
twinkle : wer is ur hb? biz trip ma??
twinklestarworld
Member
berries, hb went for biz trip to china. will only be back this sat. I told my hb i wanna to bd very much, he said wait for him to return. haha, i will attack him when he is back. muz be my hormones stirring up after my m/c waste is out.
joyful, it muz be hard to accept. i ever came across an acquaintance (more close to my friend), diagnosed with leukemia when her son wasn't even 1. She passed away already very soon after she knew about it...Thgh not so close, I felt sad for her and her son. At times when I think of that, I should treasure/apprec what I have.
joyful, it muz be hard to accept. i ever came across an acquaintance (more close to my friend), diagnosed with leukemia when her son wasn't even 1. She passed away already very soon after she knew about it...Thgh not so close, I felt sad for her and her son. At times when I think of that, I should treasure/apprec what I have.
missycandy
Active Member
really sad to hear abt yr colleague joyful ...
cancer is actually getting to be very common ... so scary ... i cannot imagine if i didnt have much time to live at this age ... id be crying all the time... now i read also feel like crying... so saddening... sigh ...
must be my emo acting up again. darn it.
anne, oh man, you must be very strong emotionally! i would never be able to work in such an environment long term! previously i had patients who are last stage as well... then go thru treatments with them n see them get worse is really heart wrenching.. esp for the family... have to really control oneself from crying and getting emotionally affected... i admire you babe
cancer is actually getting to be very common ... so scary ... i cannot imagine if i didnt have much time to live at this age ... id be crying all the time... now i read also feel like crying... so saddening... sigh ...
must be my emo acting up again. darn it.
anne, oh man, you must be very strong emotionally! i would never be able to work in such an environment long term! previously i had patients who are last stage as well... then go thru treatments with them n see them get worse is really heart wrenching.. esp for the family... have to really control oneself from crying and getting emotionally affected... i admire you babe
xiao_wanzi03
Active Member
missycandy,
indeed very common nowadays.. just wonder what is happening to the human now..
ppl like us cant conceive easily yet ppl living well, are dying suddenly..
live everyday to the fullest n live without regrets..
indeed very common nowadays.. just wonder what is happening to the human now..
ppl like us cant conceive easily yet ppl living well, are dying suddenly..
live everyday to the fullest n live without regrets..
missycandy
Active Member
actually... what i heard is everyone is born with cells of some sort that can become cancerous just that its suppressed at the beginning... then what we eat daily.. slowly builds up... and releases or mutates these cells into cancerous stages... something like that ... cant recall exactly what...
you know, to be honest, i think ive become really duh after having my child ... not that im super smart to begin with ... but i feel i was more brainy la.. hahahaha! after my 1st child my brain has become mush... i wonder if i have #2 then how... become even dumber or not ... LOL
you know, to be honest, i think ive become really duh after having my child ... not that im super smart to begin with ... but i feel i was more brainy la.. hahahaha! after my 1st child my brain has become mush... i wonder if i have #2 then how... become even dumber or not ... LOL
diet - processed food, high in fats, cholestrol etc etc.
lifestyle - no exercise, stress etc etc.
health - take medications e.g. antibiotics, painkillers for headaches (due to stress) etc.
all these modern lifestyles factors are making cancer more common.
and the SAD thing is - it is gonna get WORSE for our kids
lifestyle - no exercise, stress etc etc.
health - take medications e.g. antibiotics, painkillers for headaches (due to stress) etc.
all these modern lifestyles factors are making cancer more common.
and the SAD thing is - it is gonna get WORSE for our kids
Blessone; I too break down at points...some patients tigger the emotions in me and i was grieving for a few days before coming back to normal. My dr advised me not to let it menifest too long and bounce back. But these things keep my thought in perspectives too. Im more understanding and patient towards my love ones.
One the part abt brain being mushy after childbirth!!! I must agree!!! i feel that at times too. Cant remember things too.... dont know if its signs of ageing...ahahah!!!
One the part abt brain being mushy after childbirth!!! I must agree!!! i feel that at times too. Cant remember things too.... dont know if its signs of ageing...ahahah!!!
This explains what cancer is:
How is Cancer formed?
Cancer cells are formed from normal cells due to a modification / mutation of DNA and/or RNA. These modifications / mutations can occur spontaneously (II Law of Thermodynamics - increase of entropy) or they may be induced by other factors such as: nuclear radiation, electromagnetic radiation (microwaves, X-rays, Gamma-rays, Ultraviolet-rays, etc.), viruses, bacteria and fungi, parasites (due to tissue inflamation/irritation), heat, chemicals in the air, water and food, mechanical cell-level injury, free radicals, evolution and ageing of DNA and RNA, etc. All these can produce mutations that may start cancer. Cancer can be called therefore "Entropic Disease" since it is associated with the increase of entropy of the organism to the point where the organism cannot correct this itself. External intervention is required to allow the organism to return to an stable entropic state.
Cancer cells are formed continuously in the organism (it is estimated that there are about 10,000 cancer cells at any given time in a healthy person). The question is why some of these result in macroscopic-level cancers and some don't. First, not all damaged cells can multiply and many of them die quickly. Those which have the potential to divide and form cancer are effectively destroyed by the various mechanisms available to the immune system. This process takes place continuously. Therefore cancer develops if the immune system is not working properly and/or the amount of cells produced is too great for the immune system to eliminate. The rate of DNA and RNA mutations can be too high under some conditions such as: unhealthy environment (due to radiation, chemicals, etc.), poor diet (unhealthy cell environment), people with genetic predispositions to mutations and people of advanced age (above 80).
How is Cancer formed?
Cancer cells are formed from normal cells due to a modification / mutation of DNA and/or RNA. These modifications / mutations can occur spontaneously (II Law of Thermodynamics - increase of entropy) or they may be induced by other factors such as: nuclear radiation, electromagnetic radiation (microwaves, X-rays, Gamma-rays, Ultraviolet-rays, etc.), viruses, bacteria and fungi, parasites (due to tissue inflamation/irritation), heat, chemicals in the air, water and food, mechanical cell-level injury, free radicals, evolution and ageing of DNA and RNA, etc. All these can produce mutations that may start cancer. Cancer can be called therefore "Entropic Disease" since it is associated with the increase of entropy of the organism to the point where the organism cannot correct this itself. External intervention is required to allow the organism to return to an stable entropic state.
Cancer cells are formed continuously in the organism (it is estimated that there are about 10,000 cancer cells at any given time in a healthy person). The question is why some of these result in macroscopic-level cancers and some don't. First, not all damaged cells can multiply and many of them die quickly. Those which have the potential to divide and form cancer are effectively destroyed by the various mechanisms available to the immune system. This process takes place continuously. Therefore cancer develops if the immune system is not working properly and/or the amount of cells produced is too great for the immune system to eliminate. The rate of DNA and RNA mutations can be too high under some conditions such as: unhealthy environment (due to radiation, chemicals, etc.), poor diet (unhealthy cell environment), people with genetic predispositions to mutations and people of advanced age (above 80).
missycandy
Active Member
thanks for the info both!
anne, in yr line of work, must really try to be emotionally detached ! i remember when i first started work, i was very emo... my bf of that time drilled into me that i must learn to be emotionally detached ... if not every time will just cry n cry ... so i learned to toughen up ... but of cos sometimes its not possible to be emotionless lor ...
anne, in yr line of work, must really try to be emotionally detached ! i remember when i first started work, i was very emo... my bf of that time drilled into me that i must learn to be emotionally detached ... if not every time will just cry n cry ... so i learned to toughen up ... but of cos sometimes its not possible to be emotionless lor ...
Blessone: Yes thats true. but at times, we have very good rapport with some patients and family. Times like tt its difficult not to feel emotional. I feel emotional when i helped patient fulfill their last wishes too. Its rewarding in that sense too.
May I know what did you work as before?
May I know what did you work as before?
missycandy
Active Member
u see my nick can guess or not ? lol !
canopyhaze
Active Member
Preseed and opk given to a nice lady!!!! Jia you ladies!
I envy you all for having the determination to have #2 or #3 and trying to BD as much as possible.. but for me, ever since i have my kid, my drive became very very low. At the most we would do it once a week when i was not TTC. Sometimes im really tired, as my hus doesnt help much with my DD or with housework. I have to do everything after work and later on coax my DD to bed. On Friday nights, hus and i used to cook supper and watch movie at home after DD is asleep. But nowadays I'm so tired that I fell asleep together with my gal! End up hubby feels disappointed and to him I never spare a thought or love him enough..
missycandy
Active Member
oh kayliz, i knw how u feel ! i used to feel like im all along doing everything ... and i used to fall asleep with my gal too ... men need to be pushed and asked ... now i will tell my hb to help bathe my gal... or wipe her pigu after poo-ing ... but soon have to stop.. becos she is getting bigger... then bo pian only I can do it ...
when it comes to milk, i usually do it ... once he gave her to wrong milk !!! becos now we r staying with my inlaws ... last time at our own place, i would pour out her milk powder (we buy packets from msia) into a big tupperware ... then scoop from there ... so when we moved to in laws, i use the tin ... then hb didnt knw.. he took milk powder from a tupperware ... so happens that milk is my sil's milk powder ... anlene ! -________________-" and i only found out when i saw him preparing the milk on another occasion ... wah almost fainted on the spot man!
so cham ah! and hb is very oblivious to ah gal's needs ! as in food n milk ... he can just let her play ipad or watch tv without feeding her or giving her milk or water !!! last time when she couldnt talk and then distracted, she would just go hungry !!! now at least she will ask for milk n food ... really CMI ! i see my ah gal so poor thing lor... now lose so much weight le ...
last time her cheeks super chubby !!! after staying with my inlaws, can see become so much slimmer lor ... dont know is it because also shes growing up ... but i do know shes not eating as much as she was before .... esp when my MIL feeds her ... last time she finishes up 1 big bowl of rice ... now MIL only give her half bowl n say its a lot ... wth ... -_____- ... MIL will usually feed her before i reach home so I wont know hw much... she always tell me a lot... until 1 day i saw it myself .. -____-" then when i come home n eat, ah gal will also eat with me again -______________________________-"
when it comes to milk, i usually do it ... once he gave her to wrong milk !!! becos now we r staying with my inlaws ... last time at our own place, i would pour out her milk powder (we buy packets from msia) into a big tupperware ... then scoop from there ... so when we moved to in laws, i use the tin ... then hb didnt knw.. he took milk powder from a tupperware ... so happens that milk is my sil's milk powder ... anlene ! -________________-" and i only found out when i saw him preparing the milk on another occasion ... wah almost fainted on the spot man!
so cham ah! and hb is very oblivious to ah gal's needs ! as in food n milk ... he can just let her play ipad or watch tv without feeding her or giving her milk or water !!! last time when she couldnt talk and then distracted, she would just go hungry !!! now at least she will ask for milk n food ... really CMI ! i see my ah gal so poor thing lor... now lose so much weight le ...
kayliz - you are not alone. i am in the same boat as you. i dont like to bd at all!
but if wan to have #2, no choice
in fact, hb did mention that i have become "very transactional". that i do it only because we want #2.
any free time i have now - i would rather sleep or spend time with my #1
but if wan to have #2, no choice
in fact, hb did mention that i have become "very transactional". that i do it only because we want #2.
any free time i have now - i would rather sleep or spend time with my #1
Blessedone: let me guess? a nurse?
Im the same too, do everythg on my own. Till a had a break down a few mths ago, and hubby started helping me pick up my boy everyday. Days when he cant then i pick him up. Must be fair right, im the one always sending him. Then give him his dinner, i come back, shower and read to him and hubby make him sleep. Cos i need to finish other household chores when he goes to bed. I used to make him sleep and fall asleep. When i get up to finish up my things, i feel so foul and angry and hubby would get it from me...so to aviod all that, we came up with the arrangement. My hubby is quite involved but at time i know he just want to laze and not do anythg. So when do i get to laze? so terrible.
Even a no 2 is my idea not his. To him if it happens its ok but dont want to try. everytg also dont want to try. Didnt want to buy a flat, not ready a baby, looks like not ready for anytg in life la!!! so fedup.
Im the same too, do everythg on my own. Till a had a break down a few mths ago, and hubby started helping me pick up my boy everyday. Days when he cant then i pick him up. Must be fair right, im the one always sending him. Then give him his dinner, i come back, shower and read to him and hubby make him sleep. Cos i need to finish other household chores when he goes to bed. I used to make him sleep and fall asleep. When i get up to finish up my things, i feel so foul and angry and hubby would get it from me...so to aviod all that, we came up with the arrangement. My hubby is quite involved but at time i know he just want to laze and not do anythg. So when do i get to laze? so terrible.
Even a no 2 is my idea not his. To him if it happens its ok but dont want to try. everytg also dont want to try. Didnt want to buy a flat, not ready a baby, looks like not ready for anytg in life la!!! so fedup.
twinklestarworld
Member
kayliz, not surprisingly. I was like you as well, after my #1, practically not BD at all. Poor hb became a "monk" after I got preg till about (i think) 6 mths after I gave birth. try to do when i juz got preg, i was scared. even after giving birth, in betwn we did try but i think the mood wasn't there, milk will leak, bb sleeping with us, we are very tired.. in short, it wasn't too good feeling. #1 took up much of our time. Emotionally was easily affected after I gave birth due to my post-natal mood. But i also think somehow not having any bd time, will affect a couple relationship. Indeed feel not so close. When i slowly stopped bfg to prepare for #2 , then our life resumed, by then it was better coz milk won't leak anymore
looking back, sometimes really bd just for the sake of making bb... sad to say..
kayliz, twinkle - i know i should not be saying this since it is not a good thing but i am "glad" that i am not alone in not wanting to bd! at least i feel normal! 
i feel tired all the time coz everything to do with #1 is taken care by me. i have no parents and no inlaws to help and no helper.
so all my time outside of work is taking care of #1. not that i am complaining but it very tiring!! while hb will sleep in on weekends, go alone for his leisure breakfast, go jogging on sat evenings, so wash his beloved precious car on sunday mornings - while i am busy working around the house cutting veggies, cooking for #1, bathing, playing with #1, bring #1 downstairs for walk etc etc.....
like that how to bd? sometimes i just wanna kill hb!
grrrrr......
i feel tired all the time coz everything to do with #1 is taken care by me. i have no parents and no inlaws to help and no helper.
so all my time outside of work is taking care of #1. not that i am complaining but it very tiring!! while hb will sleep in on weekends, go alone for his leisure breakfast, go jogging on sat evenings, so wash his beloved precious car on sunday mornings - while i am busy working around the house cutting veggies, cooking for #1, bathing, playing with #1, bring #1 downstairs for walk etc etc.....
like that how to bd? sometimes i just wanna kill hb!
grrrrr......
twinklestarworld
Member
kopibaby, u r great mummy! Wo help , all by yourself. i tried to cook , do housework, marketing, after dinner, wash up, bathe my girl. During the time i am busy, hb will entertain and take care of my girl, bring her downstairs walk walk. But still I am very tired. So now, I tried to cook lesser, but if my girl starts to take normal food, I don't think i want to eat out so often. as i said, we bd only when we need to.
by the way, just to check with you all for your opinions.
my #1 is looked after by my mum. But my parents spoil her way too much. There are alot of things that i cannot tolerate my parents doing, example being afraid of her crying that they give in to her all the time. and not giving her a fixed nap time, my DD can be napping at odd hours from 4-7pm.. how on earth am i going to get her to bed at normal bedtime? besides that, my mum is always very reluctant to help me take care of her for extended hours when i need to work late or go on business trips. she feels that my hubby should help but prob is my hus is not that capable to handle my gal by himself. (makes me wonder why he wants more than 1 kid?)
my gal is attending nursery next year, only 2 hourly. my plan is to send her to class at 8am and my mum will pick her at 10am. but if i have #2, do you think i should engage a full time helper or to send #1 to Childcare and mum helps with the baby?
thought about it for very long.. with a maid, definitely i can relieve myself from household chores but i need my mum around too to monitor.. and that is additional expenses as i have to pay maid salary and mum allowance. but if #1 goes CC, mum can focus to look after the baby but the conflict about them handling my kids will still arise.
what shall i do?
my #1 is looked after by my mum. But my parents spoil her way too much. There are alot of things that i cannot tolerate my parents doing, example being afraid of her crying that they give in to her all the time. and not giving her a fixed nap time, my DD can be napping at odd hours from 4-7pm.. how on earth am i going to get her to bed at normal bedtime? besides that, my mum is always very reluctant to help me take care of her for extended hours when i need to work late or go on business trips. she feels that my hubby should help but prob is my hus is not that capable to handle my gal by himself. (makes me wonder why he wants more than 1 kid?)
my gal is attending nursery next year, only 2 hourly. my plan is to send her to class at 8am and my mum will pick her at 10am. but if i have #2, do you think i should engage a full time helper or to send #1 to Childcare and mum helps with the baby?
thought about it for very long.. with a maid, definitely i can relieve myself from household chores but i need my mum around too to monitor.. and that is additional expenses as i have to pay maid salary and mum allowance. but if #1 goes CC, mum can focus to look after the baby but the conflict about them handling my kids will still arise.
what shall i do?
kayliz - million dollar question is can you and hb accept a stranger living in your house? not everyone can accept that and that is the reason why we have no helper. hb doesnt like strangers
have to give and take. mum and cc - both have pros and cons. so really dpds on what you place more importance on.
anne - thanks. it is great that your hb is helping out now
so you should continue to encourage him so that he will feel more motivated to do more? heehee....
twinkle - no lah. i am not. i just try my best. all of us are great mummies in our own ways!
have to give and take. mum and cc - both have pros and cons. so really dpds on what you place more importance on.
anne - thanks. it is great that your hb is helping out now
twinkle - no lah. i am not. i just try my best. all of us are great mummies in our own ways!
joyceberries
Active Member
kayliz : totally understand how u feel.. my parents are looking after my son as well.. my mum spoil him so much.. my dad cannot tolerate noises..so most of the time my mum will give in to my son wenever he cry..which now make my son so naughty!!! always cry wen he wan something.. but becoz we are waiting for our hse to be ready.. i got to ren lor.. haiz.. althou we wan #2.. but i know wen #2 come.. abother prob will arise..
u can put ur #1 at CC.. i put my son at CC le.. coz my dad say he is very noisy etc.. so to avoid further conflicts and to let my mum continue spoilt my son..i put him in CC since he is 18mths.. now he is much better le...
u can put ur #1 at CC.. i put my son at CC le.. coz my dad say he is very noisy etc.. so to avoid further conflicts and to let my mum continue spoilt my son..i put him in CC since he is 18mths.. now he is much better le...
twinklestarworld
Member
kayliz, my #1 is currently taken care by my MIL. we send her there in the morning, and fetch her back in the evening after having dinner at my her hse.
I thought of it before, to send her to playgroup + hire a maid so that my mil can also take care of #2. OR send my #1 to childcare, this will mean I don't really need a maid & expenses too high to have a maid & CC.
I think for your case, having a helper is much better. In the event u need to work late or go for biz trip, extra pair of hands can help yr MIL. u also hv someone to send/fetch yr #1 to playgroup. If u send her to cc, will u be able to fetch her on time and how abt the days u r not ard?
hb always dislike having a stay-in maid. feel so inconvenient and a lot of problems handling maid. I wanted to have 1 actually, so that i don't hv to do housework, juz focus on the kid. he is only willing to hire if we confirm having #2.. So meanwhile, for now, I decided to enroll her to childcare when she turns 18 mths next year. If my #2 comes along, mil will take care of her.
I thought of it before, to send her to playgroup + hire a maid so that my mil can also take care of #2. OR send my #1 to childcare, this will mean I don't really need a maid & expenses too high to have a maid & CC.
I think for your case, having a helper is much better. In the event u need to work late or go for biz trip, extra pair of hands can help yr MIL. u also hv someone to send/fetch yr #1 to playgroup. If u send her to cc, will u be able to fetch her on time and how abt the days u r not ard?
hb always dislike having a stay-in maid. feel so inconvenient and a lot of problems handling maid. I wanted to have 1 actually, so that i don't hv to do housework, juz focus on the kid. he is only willing to hire if we confirm having #2.. So meanwhile, for now, I decided to enroll her to childcare when she turns 18 mths next year. If my #2 comes along, mil will take care of her.
joyceberries
Active Member
kopibaby : i agreed wat u said... tats y must be contended liao le...
thanks mummies.. i thought i was the only one. in fact my hubby say he wanna buy me drugs like the female version of viagra. faint!
ya sometimes i too feel kind of unbalanced. when i need to hang out with friends, go for manicure, or just simply shopping alone, i have to consider my mum's schedule. obviously she doesnt want to help me on weekends when she is already facing my #1 on weekdays. she claims that she need to rest on weekends.. but what about me? i have to work and take care of my gal at night. to the extent if i really wanna do something, i just take half day leave from work so that my mum will think im going work in the morning.
yet if its my hubby, as and when his buddies ask him out for a drink session, he can just freely go. but i cant coz hubby cannot handle my gal alone. same like u missycandy, he doesnt bother to give water or anything unless my gal ask. we as mummies, once in a while will ask our kiddos, want to eat bread? want water? want milk? want to pee? yet he is not the type to take initiative.
when he complains of becoming a monk and i try to reason with him, he says he's sick of hearing the same excuses. but its not even an excuse what. he say i care about my child's needs but not his.. then who cares about my needs? why everytime i am the one to make sacrifices? it's my job as a mummy but at times i just want to escape~!
ya sometimes i too feel kind of unbalanced. when i need to hang out with friends, go for manicure, or just simply shopping alone, i have to consider my mum's schedule. obviously she doesnt want to help me on weekends when she is already facing my #1 on weekdays. she claims that she need to rest on weekends.. but what about me? i have to work and take care of my gal at night. to the extent if i really wanna do something, i just take half day leave from work so that my mum will think im going work in the morning.
yet if its my hubby, as and when his buddies ask him out for a drink session, he can just freely go. but i cant coz hubby cannot handle my gal alone. same like u missycandy, he doesnt bother to give water or anything unless my gal ask. we as mummies, once in a while will ask our kiddos, want to eat bread? want water? want milk? want to pee? yet he is not the type to take initiative.
when he complains of becoming a monk and i try to reason with him, he says he's sick of hearing the same excuses. but its not even an excuse what. he say i care about my child's needs but not his.. then who cares about my needs? why everytime i am the one to make sacrifices? it's my job as a mummy but at times i just want to escape~!
missycandy
Active Member
anne
kayliz, hmmm i was in yr situation before ... since birth, my mum helped me ... then its like she would always carry her ... dont let her explore ... protect until dont know what ... then hb n i decided send her to CC at 18mths ... more exposure ... becos my mum protected her so much, she's quite withdrawn in the beginning.. she needs time to warm up to ppl ... now its much better ! last time was really bad ... and my mum wouldnt bring her out also... just stay at home 4 walls ... watch tv n sleep nia ... ! ok to be fair maybe my gal character is those quiet n keep to themselves kind ... but i think if she was exposed more, it might have made a difference ....
anyway, pls be prepared when u first send to CC ... will fall sick very often ... separation anxiety ... kirsten cried for 2 mths !!! there were occasions where she would cry in her sleep too !!! my parents asked me to take her out of CC ... i did think abt it a few times ... esp when she got bitten n bullied ... very sad one lor ... but we decided to let her stay in CC ... can see she started to get better ... more vocal ... then not so scared of ppl also ... last time take 1-2hrs then will warm up ah! now maybe half an hr or less.. HAHAHAHAHA! depends on her mood ...
its really yr choice n hb choice ... the good thing abt CC its 7-7 and they close on PH and a few days a year ... if u send to those playgroups, i think some of them follow the primary school holidays ? like the PCF ones ... so like whole of June & Dec at home lor! and 1 week in march n sept ! so must think abt that too ...
if u want to send CC, pls recce ard yr area ... most of them are full ... esp at this time ... usually you have to register many months ahead ... btw, how old is yr bb ?
kayliz, hmmm i was in yr situation before ... since birth, my mum helped me ... then its like she would always carry her ... dont let her explore ... protect until dont know what ... then hb n i decided send her to CC at 18mths ... more exposure ... becos my mum protected her so much, she's quite withdrawn in the beginning.. she needs time to warm up to ppl ... now its much better ! last time was really bad ... and my mum wouldnt bring her out also... just stay at home 4 walls ... watch tv n sleep nia ... ! ok to be fair maybe my gal character is those quiet n keep to themselves kind ... but i think if she was exposed more, it might have made a difference ....
anyway, pls be prepared when u first send to CC ... will fall sick very often ... separation anxiety ... kirsten cried for 2 mths !!! there were occasions where she would cry in her sleep too !!! my parents asked me to take her out of CC ... i did think abt it a few times ... esp when she got bitten n bullied ... very sad one lor ... but we decided to let her stay in CC ... can see she started to get better ... more vocal ... then not so scared of ppl also ... last time take 1-2hrs then will warm up ah! now maybe half an hr or less.. HAHAHAHAHA! depends on her mood ...
its really yr choice n hb choice ... the good thing abt CC its 7-7 and they close on PH and a few days a year ... if u send to those playgroups, i think some of them follow the primary school holidays ? like the PCF ones ... so like whole of June & Dec at home lor! and 1 week in march n sept ! so must think abt that too ...
if u want to send CC, pls recce ard yr area ... most of them are full ... esp at this time ... usually you have to register many months ahead ... btw, how old is yr bb ?
canopyhaze
Active Member
kopi : Let me answer your question. Hubby & I used to have the same mentality as your hubby. But due to work commitments and plans for having #2, we have decided to engage a helper after calculating the the $$ spent on packing food home or order tingkat; and the cost of having our part-time maid. The difference was abt abt $100, but we get a full time helper. We also have doubts abt having a helper as we are both super private persons and we had a very bad expereience with our 1st helper whom we sent back after 5days.
But thank god, my this helper is good!!! And i actually got preggy the 2nd month after she is here. Mayabe because hubby & I weren't tired doing the housechores and lesser conflicts with each other, and thus more couple time. And our helper helps to feed & bathe our #1 as well so lessen a fair bit of chores for us.
Now after 6mths, my hubby can't leave with a maid!!!
But thank god, my this helper is good!!! And i actually got preggy the 2nd month after she is here. Mayabe because hubby & I weren't tired doing the housechores and lesser conflicts with each other, and thus more couple time. And our helper helps to feed & bathe our #1 as well so lessen a fair bit of chores for us.
Now after 6mths, my hubby can't leave with a maid!!!
missycandy
Active Member
canopy so lucky !
kayliz, aiyo i agree ... hb can just go out like that when his friends jio her for dinner or drinks ... for me im worried all the time for my girl ...
even now we r planning for our trip next yr ... hb said leave her in SG ... but i said No.. must bring ... if not at night, she wont be able to sleep... shes not as close to my inlaws as my parents ... to be fair my mum looked after since birth til 3 ... but my mil is a fierce person also la ... and now when we r home late, she always ask my in laws where is mummy n papa and cries sometimes... so can u imagine if we go holiday without her ???
kayliz, aiyo i agree ... hb can just go out like that when his friends jio her for dinner or drinks ... for me im worried all the time for my girl ...
even now we r planning for our trip next yr ... hb said leave her in SG ... but i said No.. must bring ... if not at night, she wont be able to sleep... shes not as close to my inlaws as my parents ... to be fair my mum looked after since birth til 3 ... but my mil is a fierce person also la ... and now when we r home late, she always ask my in laws where is mummy n papa and cries sometimes... so can u imagine if we go holiday without her ???
my mum's staying about 3 bus stops away from me, she can help to fetch my gal if i send her to CC.
When DD turned 18 months, i put her in a CC, much to my mum's objection. initially my mum will fetch her during half day coz she said for a start, dont wanna let my gal spend full day there. but everytime she will come complaining to me that the CC is too cold, the area is very messy (coz it is open concept but toddlers stay inside classrooms), the food is not good, my gal lost weight etc. especially when my gal falls sick, then my mum will have even more to say. its worse as my gal cried very badly everyday as she refused to enter school due to separation anxiety.
eventually i withdrew her as i couldnt take my mum's constant begging.. for a while she was very nice, told me if im tired she will let my gal stay overnight at her place few days a week. but slowly my mum cant take it and revert back to her old self making me tempted to send her back to CC again. then she suggested my gal attend a 2 hour playgroup at the centre below her block coz her friends grandchildren were there and everyone said it was good. i didnt like it but still felt everything was fine since it was only 2 hours and my gal has some activities. but less than a month, my mum complained again saying my girl was the only chinese in class and she felt uncomfortable.
but honestly speaking, i dont like my gal to go CC.. she will be confined there for so long. i still prefer her to go for half day class and go home for a proper lunch, shower and nap.
but can u see how conflicting my mum is.. now she learnt that a few of her friend's grandchildren are attending CC, asked me to put my gal at the CC near her house, saying it's better cos non-airconditioned. i refused because i feel that my parents will keep peeping during her classtime and affect her.
When DD turned 18 months, i put her in a CC, much to my mum's objection. initially my mum will fetch her during half day coz she said for a start, dont wanna let my gal spend full day there. but everytime she will come complaining to me that the CC is too cold, the area is very messy (coz it is open concept but toddlers stay inside classrooms), the food is not good, my gal lost weight etc. especially when my gal falls sick, then my mum will have even more to say. its worse as my gal cried very badly everyday as she refused to enter school due to separation anxiety.
eventually i withdrew her as i couldnt take my mum's constant begging.. for a while she was very nice, told me if im tired she will let my gal stay overnight at her place few days a week. but slowly my mum cant take it and revert back to her old self making me tempted to send her back to CC again. then she suggested my gal attend a 2 hour playgroup at the centre below her block coz her friends grandchildren were there and everyone said it was good. i didnt like it but still felt everything was fine since it was only 2 hours and my gal has some activities. but less than a month, my mum complained again saying my girl was the only chinese in class and she felt uncomfortable.
but honestly speaking, i dont like my gal to go CC.. she will be confined there for so long. i still prefer her to go for half day class and go home for a proper lunch, shower and nap.
but can u see how conflicting my mum is.. now she learnt that a few of her friend's grandchildren are attending CC, asked me to put my gal at the CC near her house, saying it's better cos non-airconditioned. i refused because i feel that my parents will keep peeping during her classtime and affect her.
canopyhaze
Active Member
missy : it all depends on luck. We switched from filio to indo helper. And i am lucky that hubby is pretty hands on. In fact, he was taking care of #1 after my 4mths' maternity from 5th month till we sent our #1 to childcare @ 18mth. His job allows him to do so. So i aint complainting. In fact, he is always saying i spent more time at work than him.
Now with #2 coming soon, he is saying that he is still in charge of #1, but i will need to take care of #2 ;p. Luckily i got my helper to help.
Now with #2 coming soon, he is saying that he is still in charge of #1, but i will need to take care of #2 ;p. Luckily i got my helper to help.
canopyhaze: i have a PT maid but she cost me about $220 per month. so we did our math and if DD goes to a normal nursery (about $200/mth) and we get a FT helper.. the cost is about the same as going to full day CC but of course i need to feed the maid la.. but at least i do not have to do housework. once the maid learns to cook it's much economical to dine at home and dinner for 3 adults + 1 kid not that expensive after all.
kayliz - i am in the same situation as you. even though it is your mum and mine is babysitter.
babysitter works office hours so i drop kid off before work and pick kid up after work. weekends and ph kid is with me.
so literally i have NO me time at all. so i actually resort to taking leave on weekdays so that i can go and run my errands, take nap in the day to recoup my energy. no choice lor....sigh....
so hang in there!! jia you! we will give each other strength!
babysitter works office hours so i drop kid off before work and pick kid up after work. weekends and ph kid is with me.
so literally i have NO me time at all. so i actually resort to taking leave on weekdays so that i can go and run my errands, take nap in the day to recoup my energy. no choice lor....sigh....
so hang in there!! jia you! we will give each other strength!
and i agree that financially the difference is not a lot. but hb really anal and fussy one.
an example. during confinement, and the confinement lady is only staying on a short term basis right - he was always in conflict with the confinement lady and i ended up crying all the time and i even told him - you wanna send the CL home, then you better be prep to cook for me!!! it was only after that then he relented a bit....
so i cannot imagine if its a helper, it will be for long term....faint!
an example. during confinement, and the confinement lady is only staying on a short term basis right - he was always in conflict with the confinement lady and i ended up crying all the time and i even told him - you wanna send the CL home, then you better be prep to cook for me!!! it was only after that then he relented a bit....
so i cannot imagine if its a helper, it will be for long term....faint!
missycandy
Active Member
esther_ksk
New Member
Hi mummies, sorry to interupt ya.
Did any mummies here encounter feel like vomiting like brushing teeth after deliver 1st baby?? I mean before pregnant, never happen tis b4. My case its happen ard few months after i deliver my gals. Jus curious y?
Im sexualy active wif my hubby. Im having ard 33CD. My last AF came on CD25 where 1st day light spotting, 2 n 3 days light bleeding then stop. Tested but came out neg. Now im on my CD38, and there is still no sign of AF. I hv not do any testing yet as i feel its still early for me. But the 'vomitting' seems happen to day time oso but not often. I do not hv any stomach cramping but there is breast pain especially on nipple area. Any mummies can advice?
Did any mummies here encounter feel like vomiting like brushing teeth after deliver 1st baby?? I mean before pregnant, never happen tis b4. My case its happen ard few months after i deliver my gals. Jus curious y?
Im sexualy active wif my hubby. Im having ard 33CD. My last AF came on CD25 where 1st day light spotting, 2 n 3 days light bleeding then stop. Tested but came out neg. Now im on my CD38, and there is still no sign of AF. I hv not do any testing yet as i feel its still early for me. But the 'vomitting' seems happen to day time oso but not often. I do not hv any stomach cramping but there is breast pain especially on nipple area. Any mummies can advice?
missycandy
Active Member
Could be preggers. Sometimes too early to detect.. Maybe wait 1 more week to test again... Good luck !
I'm CD1 today
smsed my gynae. This cycle will do follicle tracking... Hopefully can strike...
I'm CD1 today
joyceberries
Active Member
saw RED liao!!!
i teared in the ofc toilet just now...very depressed...
i teared in the ofc toilet just now...very depressed...
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