(2012) Ivf/icsi Mommies Support Group

Hazel, yes, I know I must be strong although is tough... can't let the love one down especially my hb. He will affected by my emotion if I am too emotional. Still heartache, still crying... but try to let go slowly... slowly...

Sis, don't be influenced by the others action or words. Last time, when I hurted by my mil's words, (She said she dreamed I got a boy when I told her my baby is a girl) I am so sad and choose not to let go, feel she doesn't like my baby. Definitely, I don't know whether it will affect my baby or not. But, if I have choice, I will ignore her and tell her I love my baby regardless what gender. But my hb scolded me when he knows it recently, and told me that I am the one who punish my baby with the others faults.

What he said is right, we can't help the others decide what to said. So just ignore them, if you don't agree. You can leave the spot and decide not be influenced by the their negative views. As long as you keep your principle firmly, I believe Belle won't be influenced by them, because she is growing under your strongly love...

Would like to sharing a book "The secret", it encourage us to be positive, and ask us ignore the negative because based on attraction theory, negative only happen if we respond to it. Open your heart, if Gwen is in heaven, definitely, she won't bear to see you crying for her.
 


Michelle, from yr post, I feel u r v strong. I salute u. probably the eldery prefer boy than gal. Like my mil.

Hazel, yr hubby respect his mum and dare not say anything...

Chris, I did the cold cabbage for 1 hr change twice. Still engorged. I smell like a cabbage. Really hate the feeling now
 
Kimmy, congrats!!
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Michelle, i also feel you are strong! Slowly pick yourself up and move on. Surely you will have your desires met 1 day, surely!

Regarding ILs comparing or preferring boys over gals, i think its their generation lah. When MILs were young once, she probably got it from her elders back then too, to have boys than gals etc ... and hence it seem so natural to them now. Even my own mum comments will be good if i can have a son, faintsss~ When i was married, during tea ceremony, some elder from hb side even shouted at me when drink my tea that i must bear boys! Traumatised me till now! Forgive their ignorance. Its our generation now that will make the change! We certainly wont tell our DILs next time to have boys than gals!
 
Michelle, I hv other worries for belle which I didn't share here. The journey to get pregnant is tough. The journey fr pregnancy to live birth is also tough. Then, we hv the tough journey to bring the bb up healthily. I blamed myself for Gwen' passing... Is will always be a regret. We batipised her at death. So, she must be a little angle in heaven now watching over us.

Catherine, my mil always use the cry n dying tactics! Only sil is not threatened by her.. N me too!
 
Dear Kimmy,
You really got your dream delivery!!! Congrats!!! Wa, so many dragon babies until no bed huh? Quite jialat.

Dear Tromso,
I had yeast infection even before pregnancy and all the way thru the whole first trimester. It was extremely uncomfortable with smell and itch and discharge. But cos I quite high risk, dr loh waited till 2nd trimester then give me the 10-day inserts, no oral medication. By the 3rd or 4th insert already no more infection. It has been quite a few weeks since I am cleared of the infection. What inserts and oral med did u get? My inserts are called Flagystatin. Hope this helps!

Dear Bbliss,
Given u rights to the doc, hope it helps!

Dear Cherrie,
Baby facing down is normal. But did you ask gynae about it? For me, it is not good because of my swollen uterus that causes baby to be in the same facing down position at week 16, 18 and 20. But at the moment, baby still growing well. Don't need to worry if gynae never say anything. You don't have swollen uterus right?

Dear Pierced,
Mine is still high risk lo, cos of my swollen uterus. So I jiasi, go once every 2 weeks. Bought his package at 10 times $700. He jokingly say i can even use up 2 packages. lol

Dear Michelle,
Thanks for sharing the part about staying positive. You are really a strong woman. Take good care!
 
Catherine & heartbeat,
There is a verse in chinese,为母则强, means you will be strong when you are mother. As a mother, we need to be strong, so strong until we could make everything good for our child, sort out any problems, deal with anything, pour our endless love into his little world and make him the best, happiest and strongest person possible. I believe all the sisters here, plan to be a strong mother when we decide to do IVF. We go thru all the toughs, step by step from the journey to get pregnant until we give birth. Need to be strong ah...

Sis Hazel,
Although you didn't share the difficulties you have faced, but I believe it is not easy to pass thru. Don't blame yourself, as a christian, you know all is planned by GOD. Who can take her away when HE no allow. Let GOD, let go... Sure, she must be one of the little angels in the heaven now and watching over you. So, next time when you visit her niche, bring flowers but no tears. You must take care of yourself, as one day you will hold her in your arms again, right?
Sis, I know is really tough, part of me went with her too. My life has changed when she was gone, but I believe she won't bear to let me cry if she is still around. So I need to be strong, so as you...
 
Dear Michelle, you r strong. Take care and It always good to have someone to talk with. I believe Your Hubby n your loved ones around will be with you.

Shasamama, thanks. No, I dun hv swollen uterus (at least not that I know of). My gynae always look busy, so a bit worry he overlook. Lol. But I should trust him. You do not worry so much too. You should be in good hand under dr loh. Your bb will be fine.
 
Hi Kimmy
Congrat to u!! Enjoy ur motherhood..;)

Hi sasha n tromso
Just curious what is the sympton of yeast infection? Is the itchiness happen at the virginal area or urine area?
 
Thanks everyone for well wishes and congratulatory messages! Network here is really weak and busy with visitors today so not able to read thru all and respond. Will do so at home when I start pumping tmr. Hehe
Btw, so far only colustrum. If no milk in by tmr do any of u supplement with fm first then ebm?
 
Congrats Kimmy on the smooth n dream delivery
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yo, think many will also wan to have a swift one like yours hehee

Chris baby n Kimmy : what did you all do before delivery huh? Walk a lot or exercise a lot huh?
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Michelle: the healing route is not easy. Looking at your post n Hazel jus made me think of the past. heart Suan Suan one. yeah time will heal but still we will remember.

Hi ladies,

Can our hubby go to cemetery for Qing Ming huh? Cos not sure can he go. What do u all think huh?
 
Pretty busy these two days collecting baby clothes from frens.
Yeah calves aching if walk more than 30 mins haha
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Kimmy, so envious. At least u haf e most impt stuff ie. colostrum for yr precious. Mi... Xia mi boon Bo.... Really useless... Sigh.
 
Hi catherine,

1hr is nothing i used for a few hrs ah cos engorged n whole breast hard like stone. Coz tat time i didn't know how to express milk hence all the milk stuck inside till engorged lor.
 
Chris, total I did 2.5 hrs yesterday. I feel worst even more engorged. Pump 350ml yesterday at 10pm. I usually only get about 270ml. Now pumping Again. I cant do it whole night. Need to carry elis. Now my fear is fever
 
Hey bbliss, ya mine is LC came by to massage & squeeze...Ottherwise I also wont know if actually have anything for him to suck. 1st 2 times sickle I felt horrible cuz he kept sleeping the moment he suck (like use my boob as his pacifier like that) and then the nurses were v helpful so through the night they taught me the positions again and again and I managed to catch it and also saw his mouth got colustrum that's how I know. Breastfeeding really tires me and hurts the uterus like mad since its shrinking but seeing him catch the nipple and suckle is v rewarding. I'm sure u háve something for yr girl one okay. Give it time. Jiayou!

Sunbelle - I walked and did yoga (inclusive squats) so not sure of that helped with the engagement of baby and for him to be really low in order to have a pleasant labour. But of course check to see if u can do those exercises first as I had low placenta initially but it did shift up afterwards
 
Kimmy, congratulations! I insist no formula to be given to my gal. Even when she is hungry n crying in hospital on the 2nd day. I just let her suckle whenever she cry till my milk comes in on 4th day.

Chris, Catherine, Hazel,
So many postings, I was out whole day for more than 12hours. Hazel, chris is right. You might want to go through a mental list to see whether is hungry or having discomfort, like soiled diaper, cold/hot, etc. if nothing else, I hard hearted mom will just let her cry throughout.

My gal is my in laws' 16th grand kid plus we are alone here in HK. So nobody commented or compared the kids. Me and my hb are the ones commenting n comparing actually. We just have to learn to one ear in one ear out, mouth is theirs, they don't say in front of u also will say behind u. So just learn to ignore. Must master this skill cos this is just the beginning, later still can compare school work lah, sports lah, lots of things to say ah.

Me and my hb also talking abt having another kid, but he don't think I can manage so kiv. His sis is expecting her 6th kid. She is a super mom, taking care of all 5 now full time with no live in maid, only a day time (5days) domestic helper. She is 41 years old this year, so my hb commented that I still have 7 years to pop. His other sis was 42 when she had her 3rd child, she had 5 miscarriage between the 2nd and the 3rd.

Haiz, I m thinking whether I shd quit my job. Like you, chris, I have not been putting much focus on my job for the pass few years, so seeing my frens got promoted I feel so envious. But when I look that my kids now, I m thinking whether I shd slag another 2 years then start to cheong my career. My hb has no intention (at least not these few years) to go back to Sgp, not unless I could guarantee my income stream for the next 10 yrs can match up to his. If i continue to work In sgp, then my hb will be alone here in hk. If i work here, that means my son will be alone in Sgp w my mom. I dont want my son to feel left out or I hav "dumped" him. If i quit then I will shuttlr between sgp n hk, and bring my son to stay here during school holidays. But that would means i have to forego my career n start again later. My hb ask me to decide myself cos dont want me to blame him. He is ok with whatever decision i made, but if cos prefer me to quit. He can give my full salary every month but can match 60% of my pay. Tough decision. My in laws n relatives, all asking where I gonna stay but no one dare to comment cos they know my salary quite high now, So, of I quit now I may not be able to get the same shd I decide to find a job w same pay later. My boss hurrying me to decide, Cos not easy for her to find a replacement for me in 1-2 months n my project suppose to start in May in full force when I get back. My team already starting to do some prep work now, alternatively, I help her to finish this project then quit next jan when the project completed. How? By then my gal will be 1 yr old liao.
 
Catherine, if you intend to reduce or stop, don't pump so much. Cos the more you pump the more the milk comes. What I did when I try to stop feeding my boy the last time, I hand express in hot shower every time I m engorged. The hot water shower help to relax n massage my breast, then I use my hand to massage and "clear" those ducts that are painful. I only express enough to stop the pain then to empty the whole breast.
 
Neil, mine is as hard as a stone. Even I express some it's still a stone I need to go over 250ml to relieve the stone. I dun know y this is happening to me after the 8 hrs non pumping on thurs.

Sorry Neil, if I were u I will quit. Not easy havin a son In sg and a hb in hk. Since he earns more and can give u a gd allowance y not? Mine is the opposite. I pay for a fair bit of mthly expenses. I have the same thoughts as u whether to quit or have a 2nd child, it's not easy. I Admit I Chong a lot in my career and I m still earning less than market rate. If I stop like u, I will lose to youngsters. I love Elis a lot but her demands r v frightening. My part time maid was shocked yesterday when elis started crying. In my heart it's either I quit to comcentrate on change elis temper or I change a job and ask my mum to quit to look after elis half day. No matter what elis must go IFC. My mum and hubby r too soft hearted. I want elis to b in ifc to
Learn to interact with kids.

It's not easy to one ear in one ear out. Lucky my mil is in Msia and dun care elis and me so we r spared. My mum is a sensitive person and she understand my hints well. My dad is the one who insist his way and like to compare which I dun like. Mouth is his. Daughter is mine. so I talk back when i m not happy.

I din know Qing Ming is this week. My hb told me his elder brothers called to check if we are gg back. They juz want to see elis and expect us to bring her back but Who feed elis, change diapers or make milk for her or tahan her cries in the car? Elis is only 36 days old!!! Leave this baby alone in my heart i feel they should make a trip out to see elis. Anyway Elis has no passport. I told my hb if he wants to go back he can proceed and I will go to my parents place to stay a few days and I take the car. Hearing that he said he will not go back. I told my mum and mum forbid me to make passport for Elis haha....

Kimmy, which level r u at? Y yr nurse so gd? Premier rooms get special privilege??
 
Catherine, he can't give me my full salary every month. So far I have been living on my own income, I pay my Sg home, car, petrol, utilities, my son school tuition, insurance, shopping, my mom maid, etc. he settle his own expense here, mortgage, reno, his car n my car in HK, air tickets. He paid for all our holiday expense. I only use his credit card occasionally when in sg. So if I quit and i will still hav the same expense in sg and he hav to pay for all. He say he got enough to cover all but I m use to spending my own money and I also want to buy a bigger house in Sg. He knows that I won't be SAHM for long even if I quit cos I will be bored, just hope that I can move here n slowly find a job here later.
 
Hi sunbelle
??? Why hubby cant go for qing ming? Is not attend funeral so is ok ah.. As Is to pray to our ancestor so of course can go..;)

Hi hazel
Is freestyle pump really not so gd due to not strong enough n pisa is better? Wonder is pisa sterilize wise more troublesome?

Thks sasha..;)
 
Sunbelle,

I did prenatal yoga from 4mths till 32wks, stopped cos i accidentally hurt my inner thigh area. heehee Did also aqua aerobics (on 5mth) at KK hospital. According to my gynae, swimming, yoga and strolling are very good and safe ways to build up your stamina before childbirth. And do squats helps alot but provided you don't have low placenta previa and certified healthy by gynae to do it. Squats helps to strengthen the pelvic area and helps bb to descend and engage. I did abit of aquats from 39-40wks as gynae says tat my bb still haven't engage so she advised me to do squats (20x per day). I very lazy did only 10x already 1/2 dead but i did alot of walking. Gynae advised me to take a 30-45min)stroll after dinner which i did from 37-40wks.
 
Catherine,

I scared you might have blocked milk ducts. u wanna ask nadia to come and massage your breast to clear the blocked ducts? Or you can call madam rokiah ( i posted her earlier thread yesterday)?

Try to massage and use cold and hot compress and constantly pump to clear out the milk. Another faster way to clear is let bb latch on cos their suction power is more powerful and is able to clear some of the blockage. However don't do it often cos bb sucking will stimulate more milk production. But i got to admit i used once and it helps to clear my engorgement fast manz. Pom Pee Pee !!!
 
Catherine,Nell

Me in same shoes as catherine, i paid some of the expenses, my dogs medical bills, my own expenses, mom's etc. I'm the only daughter so the bundle is on me. At times, i really envy my colleague tat are doing well in their career cos looking back i really sacrificed quite abit in terms of health, etc to finally have clariss. So altho i loved to be a SAHM but don't think i'll stay long cos it will be very boring and my job doesn't allow me to work from home either.
 
Ya mayb I will call Nadia.

Though I love to stay at home free of work stress and I love elis a lot, like Neil, I want a bigger house and get bored v soon. Hb sole income can't afford the lifestyle that we have now. He has to walk home, skip lunch haha.... On the other hand, he also has work stress and he would love to stay at home too. I hope I can stay at home for few mths more to watch over Elis call mummy, daddy.
 
Gals, belle is asleep so she goes into the car seat easily!

J03, yes, pls buy pis though it has more parts to assemble n sterilise.. Free style suction is not as strong nanny times I ended up hand expressing after pumping.
 
Bbliss, yup looking forward to tomolo but scared of epi heehee

For massage, is it 2 wks or 1 mth after csection then can do or ask doc? Cant remember when need to go checkup after csection.....
 
Hi Kimmy and Chris baby,

thank you very much for your sharing. looks like walking really helps in the smooth delivery. maybe too long never exercise leh. hahaha mi also hope to have a swift one like you all hehee
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Still thinkng what are the tins we need to buy nearing our delivery date? Grip water, ru yi oil etc. haha food items only Chinese herbs.

Hi Tzac, have a great sea food feast today ! Cos tink cannot eat seafood for some time hehee
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Hi hazel
Thks for ur feedback.. My friend using pisa oso say is a wonderful pump.. N best is it is cheaper than freestyle.. Think the only bad thing abt pisa is cant go handsfree.. Freestyle can be handsfree..

Hi tzac
Woah.. So happy n excited for u..;) how many wks r u at now? Btw, u choose tomorow date urself or request by sf loh? Did u check on whether is it 吉时? U gonna choose wht kind of c sect? Epidurial or spinal or? Half sleep or full sleep? Hb cannot be in the operating theatre with us right? How i wish can be like natural, we choose half sleep n hb by our side..;) so tt we can see bb at first instance after deliver..

Hi sunbelle
How many wks r u now? Usually we will get the chinese herbs ready one mth before due date..
 
Sunbelle, yeah been eating things i like these 2 days including cold cold drinks :)

Joanne, me at kkh n din choose date. Let doc decide the daten timefor me. Will b half body n l think shd b epi or spinal, dun knw n din ask osso. Think hubby can b inside. 38 wks liao as doc said do 2 wks b4 edd.

Guess wat, me still hv not pack my bag yet .... Weather super hot today n dunno y, hv been feeling tired n sleepy these few days.
 
Hi tzac
Oh.. Kkh allows hb to be with u when do c sect? Tts gd... As tmccannot i think.. Btw, whose ur gynea? Hv a smooth delivery ya..

Yes, weather super hot today... Zzzzzz...
 
Catherine, ya have to sacrify lifestyle, no more sq biz class, may even need to take budget air ah. If I quit, I may not have so high expense as I will have a lower maintenance expense in Sgp n my hb can save a lot of tickets shuttling between Sg n HK. But my main concern in getting out of job market and re enter later with a pay cut. My hb say I 看不开, even though I only want to stay home at most 2 yrs also 放不下
 
Hi vann n hazel
Oh.. Really hb can go for c sect in tmc? Tts gd.. As i go for the hospital tour at tmc n the nurse say cannot when i asks her..;( thk u so much..

Btw, my hb recently put some 臭丸 to get rid of stupid roaches in my shoe cabinet n i keep smell it.. Is it ok? My mum say if bb cannot let them smell as no gd for bb brains.. I kind of worry if we smell will hurt bbies in womb or not.. Anyone has any opinion on this? Thk u..
 
Thks hazel
I just google n really no gd.. Hb tonight gonna remove them fr our cabinets.. Sigh.. Hope bbies r allright as just put that in 5 days ago...;(
 
Tzac,

dun worry about epi, juz follow their instructions relax and try to coil yourself like a "hei bee" tat is dried shrimp as much as possible, cos when u coil up your vertebrae will open up and more easily for the guy to inject epi and less painful. That's wat my hbs read at the web and told me to follow his instructions, and the midwife at mt alvernia also told me the same thing.
 
Hazel, catherine, nell

Today clariss woke up at 7.40am, fed her and leave her at her cot and i went to clear up the kitchen. hbs slept like a pig... cos internet gaming till 2am+ previous nite. When i went bk in to check on clariss at 9am thought wanna give her a bath, she already snoring away with hbs..faintz then i went to clear other stuff and by 10.40am then she and hbs finally woke up. So we prepared her bath and then fed her cos got to rush for movie at century sq. So got to bring her to in-laws place then rush for movie and collect her bodysuits which i reserved from mothercare. While we are going to leave the house, i lifted her from the bouncer and guess wat? she poo poo till the whole diaper full and leak out (cos she 2 days never poo). Yeeks!!! End up got to clear her shit and washup for her, change new clothes then rush to in-law place and leave her there. whole day never had food till 2pm ate at in-laws place then rush for 3pm movie, then rush bk cos got mil's birthday so we went jumbo seafood at eastcoast. Super hot ah, no aircon, cos sil booked the table downstairs as dowager unable to climb up the stairs. t was really warm and clariss sweating away and find it very noisy and warm to sleep. We praying hard dinner end fast cos she cranky if she can't sleep. After dinner finished we rushed home, she super tired and KO in the car.
 
Joanne,

Yeeks, i most afraid of roaches. if i see i'll scream and jump. tat time i saw roaches at the passage way to my office and i jumped and ran eventho i 8mths preggy..haahhaa. Or u wanna buy those "medicine" tat can kill roaches from the provision shop? Thought pandan leaves normally works well to keep them away.
 
Hi tzac,

Wishing u a smooth delivery tmr. Ur girl must be very excited to welcome her sibling. She in P2 now? Can help u take care of bb:)
 
Chris, same here we din eat until 2pm!! We brought her to yu GUo. Pissed with sinseh today. Say me not a gd mother. Juz bcos I make milk slow and din carry elis. So lucky u still can watch movie.
 
Chris, so envious! We wanted to watch the Andy Lau's 桃姐 but no where to put my ger. I can imagine the poo poo part. Last Saturday hb working 24hr shift so I called up my fren n meet her for dinner. Same thing, after I feed her n chg her n place her in the bouncer while i chg n pack bag, when I m all ready with my socks, shoe, jacket n carrier on and pick her up from bouncer, her poo poo leaked out from the back, clothes soiled, blanket n rocker. So, I no choice plus no extra hands, bring her go chg, bathe and just put away all the soiled clothes in pail n cheong out of house. I was 1hr late. So pai seh...

Ladies, I bought Phil & Ted travel cot from amazon via vpost. Delivered to my Sg address, my bro brought it over yesterday. It can be used as travel cot and play pen, can open from top or from the side. It is the smallest (when folded) and lightest when compared to other brands. It say can be carried on board n fit into the air craft cabin but I wonder will they actually pass thru x ray since it has metal parts. Can consider buying if you intend to bring baby out for sleep overs or longer holiday breaks.
 
Mummies, i was told by the yu GUo sinseh to watch out of elis poo. If too watery must c doc cos bb is losing water. If poo is too bright in colour also must c doc that's then losing the nutrients. I was scolded y i dun know how many times she poo in a day. To me it's so often I dun Bother to track. To the sinseh the mother must know. Argh... I will set up a tracking spreadsheet and track then
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Chris and Neil, dun scare me with that leh... I will cry when that happens. Dun know y elis dun want to sleep in bedroom. We tried several times putting her In but she wakes up every 5mins. End up we bring her To her mattress in living room and she happily sleep there. To look after bb, I also sleep with her in living room
 
Doing the night shift...

Jus looking at my gal and wondering...how upset i was when i had to do ivf to concieve...I was thinking I am so young and it's so unfair that i have to go through ivf due to DH sperm issues...all the injections...1 fresh failure, 1 FET cancelled...so many disappointments...

and now...a little gorgeous miracle in my house...

100% worth everything i had to go through....
 


Hi Tzac,

Today is the important day where you will see your beautiful princess
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Jia you! Jia you!

Hi J03,

I m one month ahead of you. Guess you can confirm the gender of your babies in your growth scan.

Hi ladies,

During confinement, baby sleep with CL with fan or aircon huh? I m thinking thru the process. if use a cloth diaper, which means we have to buy a waterproof sheet to placed beneath the baby when the baby is sleeping or else always have to change the bedsheet? or place towels huh?
 
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