(2012) Ivf/icsi Mommies Support Group

Re child related leave, i was asking Bbjourney yesterday as I am thinking of how to maximize my hubby's leave at year end so that he can spend more time with me & baby...hehe..

Just checked MOM website and realized that there is also a 6 days unpaid infant care leave.

http://www.mom.gov.sg/employment-practices/employment-rights-conditions/leave-and-holiday/Pages/infant-leave.aspx

Below is the info on the 6 days paid child care leave:

http://www.mom.gov.sg/employment-practices/employment-rights-conditions/leave-and-holiday/Pages/childcare-leave.aspx
 


Tromso, haha, ya im the kind the moment preggy, weight goes up etc. was telling my gf everything go wider and bigger, but boobs never go bigger much.
Now me already 17 kg+

Angelxuan, thanks! wow, really boom hor, was telling my bro so nice he get a snake bb, coz me and hb snake too.
Your mother is indeed smart, keke, choose freedom like my auntie. but seriously some are not really keen to stay at home, or not suited. So good in a way, she don't promise you before hand.
 
Ok, im seriously dying from the heat and humidity here...
Am I the only one feeling that way?
If i come out from my bedroom with aircon, i sweat buckets. everywhere perspire! Super hot these few days!
 
Pierced, I think it's very nice of your mum to offer to help both you and your brother. I would love to have my mum to help me too but I guess I am not so lucky. I can understand that she has been SAHM all her life looking after her kids (and my dad) so now she wants freedom. As long as she dotes on my child, I will be very happy.
 
Tromoso, can, is the comfort that I m talking abt. but I dun like to sit in the middle! Centre seat is not comfortable n I will get backaches. I wun let maid sit on the centre nearer to belle. So, I dun bring her out usually. Also with 2 adults behind, I hv no room to change diapers. Bbs can poo anytime they like FYI.

If got mil and her maid, that's for 5 adults n 1 bb how to sit?

A 7 seater is defintely more comfortable n the maids can all sit at the last row
 
Hey Angel, thanks for the info on unpaid infant care leave! I wasn't even aware of that.
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Pierced sweaty? I'm on my way to Orchard rd now, need some guilt free air con badly. Been extremely warm these past couple of days too, doesn't help. My bra gets all wet, abt 50% damp (can see the water mark) within 30 mins of being outdoor, very terrible lah... Sometimes I'll reach into my bra and wipe out the perspirations, haaa...cos a lot gathered underneath boobs, like a fish tank!!
 
Angel, what I read fr the books is that, lotus roots in itself is very slight liang, but after brewing in soup, it's quite neutral, just don't take those preserved lotus roots appetizer. I've also queried with Dr Zou abt it, she reckons it's ok.

Actually I've been taking the lotus root soup weekly too, no issues
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I'm just surprised my gum swelling immed went down after the soup, maybe my body is very mild heaty. Dont worry about it ok.

In fact, there are 2 categories of 'cold' food according to tcm. 1 is liang, other is han. Han is the 1 to best avoid, liang isn't all that terrible after all, if body system can take it
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Pierced, I am also sweating like mad.. But trying to cut down the use of air con unless absolutely cannot take it, as my hubby was alarmed that electricity bill went up sky high last month.

Btw, my SIL is having a dragon baby, just 2 months after mine. So we can go shopping together and compare notes ..quite fun! My mum definitely made a good decision not to promise us anything else I'm sure she can't cope. Lolx!
 
pierced,
the weather is making me feel more stuffy and nauseous... arghhh...

sigh... recently i can't seem to stomach my mum's cooking at all... i love my mum's cooking but now i can't eat anything she cooks and definitely no rice... nite time is a time where i feel so bloated and stuffy and will puke whatever i eat.
 
Tromso, thanks for the explanation about lotus roots.

It's a good idea to go out and enjoy guilt free air con! I also get sweat gathered between and underneath boobs..terrible!
 
Hi baby
Thks for ur advise on breast shield.. But how frequent u collect it since it may spoilt if outside for too long..

Hi tromso
Yes, i take up the photo package since is worth while as two bbies for price of one.. I wun takeup the package if is for one as $300 plus is quite ex.. But we quite like the photos as is well taken..;) havent hv any christian name for my bbies yet..;)

Hi gals,
How r u? Very sad tt my cl leaving next mon n my mum say she will help me out at night.. But i worry her health whether can take it as twins really not easy...

Also, due to go out and no time to latch on n pump... Milk lumps build up again below my breast n had some infection tt cause me having fever this 3 days on n off..;( still abit swollen n red when see fr outside..;( wht shd i do to ease the swollen n milk lump build up? Shd i go see LC? Hv try cabbage, hot bottle massage n hb help to press the lump hard hope can disperse it but still had fever..;(

Hi all
Hv decided to change maid.. Maybe to filipino one.. Really vomit blood this month.. Can u imagine she iron my hb clothes n yet no iron the pocket infront of the shirt?? She does things still slow.. She cant help me much except hsework n yet didnt do a gd job.. Wipe dust dun wipe front bed frame n only wipe back bed frame.. I really faint.. So many say she shd give me an extra hand but no lor.. Even my cl say she does things slow n her heart still at hometown n not here.. Also she say her stupid.. Omg.. Think before i finish my ml, i shd change soon else how my mum cope with 2 bbies n one kid..;( anyone got recommendation for agency with filipino maids? Thk u..

Hi hazel
Urs oso filipino maid?

Hi sasha
Ur maid sound good.. Who is ur agency n is it filipino maid too?
 
J03, indo. There's no perfect maid. My is experienced n trained in HK. Also will get scolding fr me. U wan to change agency? U need to pay agency fees again if like this. Also Filipino maid u need to pay for the contract cost n dunno wat else. Is another abt 700 bucks more. Ur insurance for current maid will be prorated n refunded to u. If u change indo maid, the new requirment imposed by indo govt in may kicks in n is another sunk cost of 4 digits! Anyhow, Ur current agent will
Be able to tell u more on the additionall cost.
 
Eskimobb, I oso couldnt stomach my mum's food in first and early second trimester cos it's sorta oily, garlicky, saucy, the flavourful sort, but I can only stomach bland food then. When she starts her cooking engine, the smell fr kitchen will make me wanna puke oredy. You can get your mum to steam the fish/ chicken and make simple vege dishes for you
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Hazel, I'm glad my family unit is still small. True, can't imagine fitting so many pple in a sedan, at the back, max is 1 carseat and 2 slim adults for comfort. Mine is hatchback, I'm hoping can fit more items into the boot. But hubby normally puts his bike racer in the boot and folds down all the back seats, so have to find an alternative solution soon.

Angel, it'll be fun to have 2 little ones growing up together
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I can't wait to see my niece's reaction seeing my baby, she is already full of anticipations. 2 is def more fun
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Eskimobaby, how about drinking soup at night? My SIL also can't stomach much in her 1st trimester and felt like puking when she smell food but she could drink clear soup during dinner. After crossing her first trimester, it's much better.
 
Pierced, just wondering how your mum's gonna do confinement for your SIL's baby plus your baby cos your SIL
will be staying over at your mum's place? Then you'll bring your baby to mum's place daily too is it?

Angel, so you'll be coping alone after CL is gone or planning to hire a maid to help you out? Also taking NPL is it?
 
Tromso, yah looking forward to watch the 2 babies playing & growing up together. My SIL's one most likely boy as well..we are expecting there will be lotsa noisy "fighting" games and chasing about between the little boys!
 
Tromso, I will either continue NPL or quit my job for the first 1-2 years. Decided to personally give my best care to my son, not engaging help from MIL (she's working and staying far from us, if getting her help will have to ask her to quit her job & stay over), hence I'll be coping alone. Then see how..if can't manage will get a part time helper to assist with house cleaning once or twice a week. I don't like a stay in maid. My friends in SG or overseas that gave up their jobs all can manage well being SAHM. Thus I am confident that I can do it too.
 
Do anyone of u feel body ache, neck ache & headache? I feel sweat and warm. Even if I wipe my body I come out I sweat again... My body inside feel heat up...
 
Is it during confinement the uterus will feel so pain, uncomfortable? Was told its the uterus contracting.

Headache - my PIL say ok to help to look after the kid when I return to work after my maternity leave. Dunno reliable a not. Which means after my CL return, I'm expected to look after my bb alone at home, cook, do housework. Can force my hubby to take some leave. But still Scared scared... My PIL just sitting at their home just few bus stops away; also not working at all; not helpful! Watch tv at home only what. The house got nobody except 2 of them. Until now both of them also nvr suggest to help wih marketing of whatever. One bottle of chicken essence also dun hv lor. Hubby got to go mkt at 6-7am every alternate day. Hubby say nothing much he can do, can only hear me nag. I don't think I can work alone as good as CL! How many of u taking care of baby alone after CL returns?
 
Faithfully : I feel the same during the first few days - i sweat like i just bathed. Now ok feeling normal. I drink a big pot of red date drink daily.
 
Please lie on bed n rest more. All these body ache is a result of insufficient rest. If not, u will suffer after confinement is over coz the body is weakened
 
Faithfully, it's just hot not heaty right? Was told can take all sorta heaty food during confinement and yet body won't get heaty. Air con doesn't help?

I think I'll be in trouble too, now already air con plus fan, confinement dunno how...
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Tanny, I think your PILs are just pretending heeee...hv a gd feeling they'll come help out when CL leaves. Yah, I've been warned uterus contraction can be painful n uncomfy
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Faithfully : ya my CL says must lie n sleep n rest rest rest. First 2 days I also moving about then I get a backache on day 3 so i lie n slept n slept. Wake up to latch to pump n sleep again. Sometimes she secretly feed cos she see me sleeping. But it tell her I want to latch. Anyway i let her be.. Guess she wan me to rest more.
 
Tanny, try talking to your ILs to help if need be. I can't cope after CL left coz belle has Collic in 2nd mth till 3 mths plus. Dun talk abt housework, I can't even go to toilet to pee or poo without letting her cry or bring her along! She cried until no voice.. No time to eat also! Still got to pump n sterilise bottles. Belle just wanted to be carried at all times... Even when asleep. Put down cry, feeding on bottle takes an hr every time.. Can cry meh that period.. Even my parents said "tolong"
 
I nvr on aircon, no fan - hv to survive this period by hook or crook. Hair still unwashed. My frn going to dong until 30 days to wash hair she tells me. That day I go out, spray my hair with the nice smelling dry shampoo. Other days I powder my hair with th confinement dry shampoo until whitish. Hahaha. V smelly hair..

Hazel : They say new born always sleep n eat; so by 2-3 mths they get more cranky?

Tromso : Better have a back up plan. Tot of getting a maid. This is their only son and only granddaughter also like that. Stay near also useless. 3 bus stop nia. Haix. When I preggy they also nvr cook any special thing for me to eat except when we dine there eat some pork liver n fish.

When I see doc with hubby, I asked mil to come over to see the CL. Right after I return, she go back liao. Always like to say "Nothing much, I go back already hor". I feel like telling her cannot sit longer meh.. How can I tell her got thing for her to do. Such as mktg like can u buy some apples, red beans, etc.
 
Angel, heh heh...looks like we'll have 3 sahm, you, pierced and myself, all around sk and punggol. Not sure who else in the east planning the same too. We'll do tea with the little ones 1 day
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I'm with you on the sahm and being able to cope alone somewhat. Many of my sahm mummy friends are managing, especially those living overseas in western countries where maids are not common, same goes for Japan and Msia. I'm also gonna hire part time cleaner, can't cope with full time ones I feel.

More and more grandparents are less willing to help these days, also not such a bad thing learning how to take care of our own kids, especially the initial years.
 
A gf quitted her job last year and decided to try take care of her 2 kids alone, plus help fr own mum n mil. 1 kid lives with her mum Mon to Fri and another lives with Mil mon to fri. So gf ferried betw 3 homes to try 'bring the family together'. After trying for 9 mths, she gave up and decided to go back to work. I've been thinking why she didn't succeed especially her kids are about 3 and 4 then, should be more manageable already plus all the helps fr both sides.

Then I thought perhaps she didn't take care much of them when they were babies, hence now suddenly taking the plunge into the deep end, that's why can't cope. Nonetheless, she is still planning for a third one and will be full time housewife then. Cannot cope with 2, how about 3? Pure determination I guess. When there's a will, the way will emerge heh...
 
Tromso, so far should be ok coz my SIL Edd most likely next yr End March so by that time, my #2 is already around 7 mths. Will most likely be based at my place and let my mum handle my SIL bb since Im on NPL.

Will be good to have more of the same age to grow up with though. Megan will be the big sister to look after them. haha...
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Angel. tromso, yup, so far I can cope ok with 1 so prob since my #1 is already quite big, easier to handle 2. I don't want to get a maid again after all the hassle and trouble unless cant be helped.
The most I will close 2 eyes with the mess in the house. haha...

and yes, we can meet up then for tea or shopping if possible. good to have companionship to chit chat.
 
Tanny, do rest more now during confinement period.

Tromso, how come your gf take care of the kids yet they stay with mum and mil? or is it during the time when she worked?

precisely i feel that if possible, i try to stay home coz this yr, when I was working, sometimes feel so bad that Megan had to wake up super early for me to ferry her to my mum (even close by) and then she had to take the school bus to school. So ended up usually she stayed over at my mum's. Felt that it doesnt really help family time and as if Im a weekend parent even though i go back to my mum's place after work and go home late.
 
Angelxuan,
That's what I've been doing but still feels stuffy... Anyway I hope this will pass soon.

Tromso,
Sigh... Whether it's steamed or fried or stew all I can't stomach
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Tanny, i salute u for sticking so closely to the "rules" of not washing hair, not using fan etc. I certainly can't do that! Esp when u feel hot so easily during this period.

Wah, how nice, pierced, Tromso and Angel, to have fellow SAHMs in the same area and kids ard the same age! Think SAHMs also need to have such support, otherwise facing the kids alone all day, however cute they are, can also drive u crazy i guess.

Seriously contemplating NPL after ML. I've always had the idea too of working PT maybe when my gal goes to pri school so that i have time to supervise her work. Will see how things pan out...
 
eskimo, think your MS will pass in a few more weeks. I'm now nearing 11 weeks. Feeling much better. Appetite is bigger, and I need my afternoon snack nowadays. It's just evening time that the stuffy feeling can come back, i guess after one whole day of eating, heheh... I'm keeping fingers crossed that MS will be gone by next week! You hang in there, sister!
 
Tromso, Pierced, I am sure we will rise to the occassion with positivity and determination. We are modern, educated & independent mummies equipped with the ability to find resources, solve problems, produce results and achieve our goals. Count me in for the tea and shopping too!
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Tanny, how about getting your hubby to speak to his parents and request for regular help? Be specific in what type of help both of you need, and ensure that it's within their comfort level to do so.
 
Joanne, I use it only when I see milk leaking. Wear it for half an hour n there will be plenty on both sides. Collect it in a container n place it in the fridge. I don't use it for feeding, I use it for skincare
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Actually I'm wearing the breast shell is just to prevent it wet the bra or breast pad.

I'm also going to have my baby photo taken by next week, have signed the package during preggie. Supposed to have it taken this week, but baby under light, so got to postpone.

Try to massage the lumps every time when you are free. When u showering, sitting on toilet bowl, watching tv or even walking. This what I do.

Sometimes during latching I will massage it at the same time too.
 
Tanny, they get more aware of their surrounding day by day! Not sure if u hear this myth before, if the bb is good n easier to take care in first mth, they will not be easy after full mth n all the way till they r months old. If they r hard to take care first mth, after full mth they will be easier! Belle is the first case. In the first month, belle slept in her own cot at night, day time she nap with me on our bed. We did not carry her much. After the first mth, she was v hard to take care! Cried non stop.. Nothing can soothe her... It can be hours! Until she had no voice n face, body all red! Carry n Rock her to sleep she also cry.. Day n night all the same. Put her on cot she dun, bed also dub wan, Yao LAN also dun wan! I can carry n Rock her fr 9-12am every night with her continuously crying n she still can't get to sleep!

My mum helped me in the PM so that I can do housework, eat and shower n catch up with sleep. Any nights, she came over to help me pacify belle... We were all at wits end.. She had Collic.. V painful for her I presume... Bb cries for a reason.. Not coz they want to be naughty.. I felt like killing her them u know... That's why I went to get a maid coz I was worried she was still like this when I return to work... Imagine, my mum can only eat dinner at 9-10pm if I m out....
 
i really hope the ML and NPL can be announce during the national day speech and get implemented in 1-2 mths time..

was joking with luv on fb that we discount on coe too for family with kids..how to squeeze so many ppl plus car seat in a small car...lol

tanny, i cried when my CL left previously as i also doubt how can i survive by myself, but things are not that bad afterall, i even managed to bring my boy out alone..dun worry..船到桥头自然直。。
 
Luv, will be good to take some NPL off if u can after ML. I know for sure teaching is too hectic to spend quality time with kids.

Angel, yup, sure will since we are all nearby each other!

Tanny, what about maybe getting catered food or packed food after CL leaves if really your ILs are unable to help out with marketing. At least u don't need to handle so many things at one go esp still getting use to your baby etc.or else maybe some part time help to help with chores etc if so?
 
Luv its a pity you are in the west, cos you are also planning NPL for a while too right? We can certainly all meet up midway too 1 day
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Pierced, my gf's case is very confusing, basically her not working childcare arrangement is very similar to working arrangement, hence over reliance on both sides. I guess that's why ended up a failed attempt to bring family together.

My SIL also over relies on maid we feel, doesn't feed or shower the kids. Maid does most of the childcare and will prep the kids fully in the morning, then SIL and hubby will wake up and ferry to schools. My in laws are very displeased. That's why hubby and I don't dare to hire maid heh...indeed it's easy to 'slack off' with ready helps available. But long term may make parenting even harder I feel...
 
MC, Yes, seriously need more discount on COE, preschool fees, etc. I don't mind not having less ML and have more of these benefits instead.
Imagine those with big family and only small car how? Half take car, half take cab??!
 
I'm at the taka fair and Medela customer svc person says we only need to sterilise the bp once a day, 3 mins, otherwise the membrane will get spoilt very fast, true??

Says to chg the spare parts every half yearly....

Bought avant breast shells
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Tanny, I felt some pain on stomach area only first few days after delivery. The massage lady told me because of blood clot. She helped me to remove it by massage. The next day it came out (one big lump) and I don't feel any pain already till now *touch wood*.

I also sweat even in aircon room with fan. Whenever I have my meals, I will have a towel with me to wipe my sweat hehe. Once done, quickly come back to the room. Really not a good weather for confinement.
Can't imagine your friend not washing hair for 30days.

After my CL left, I'm also going to take care my baby alone. Not sure can handle or not. MIL promise to help, but not sure if it will happen. Shall see.

Hazel, my baby just like your Belle then, first category. She will cry only when she hungry or poo. Other than that she is easy to handle. We just let her sleep on the bed, she won't make noise even when she is awake n nobody entertain her. She will just look around. Gosh... got to be prepared for new pattern then.
 
Agree with Pierced, I also feel that visible $$ assistance is better. Also need to regulate childcare costs otherwise even if given more subsidy, prices will still get bumped up
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Someone wrote into the papers saying coe should increase to 15 yrs. This is a good one too but also doesn't help with those parents planning to get a car or families that need car upgrading.
 
Tromso, I see, maybe that's why still difficult to bond together with the kids . Yup, many things people tend to slack off Esp after having maid, i don't really like having the maid to handle everything, housework maybe ok.

Oh u at the taka fair? They have the Avent breast shells there? Hmm, maybe shall take a look there too.

Huh, but for those who pump regularly daily, how to only sterilise once a day? You got the freestyle or Pisa?
 


mc, yup, hope there'll be announcement on the new ML+NPL scheme! And that it'll be in time for most of u ladies here too.
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pierced, yeah, sometimes regret not taking NPL after my last ML. And go back take up new portfolio some more. Altho still got thru it, think wld have been better if cld have spent more time with baby.

Tromso, hahah... if time allows, sure, can meet somewhere midway if not too inconvenient for u gals. Depends on whether NPL approved or not too.

How come ur gf didn't try to place the 2 kids in one place at least? Then at least they cld spend more family time together.

I've been having a slight throb at the back, top right side of my head. Any idea if it's preggy related? I dun remember bumping my head on anything, but it feels a bit tender to the touch too. Strange...
 
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