(2012/06) Jun 2012

Care-Giver,

The most important thing is the kids know who will still be for them anytime, which is their own parents (or maybe grandparents).

Usually maid is just temporary. They won't be there all the time for you. That's what happens to my #1. Last time she's very close to my previous maid. Now that she's gone, she prefers us compare to the new maid. But maybe wait for 1 year then it will change again. huhu.. It's too bad, but they are only temporary.

I don't have privilege of my parents/in law can take care of my kids. But I guess if kids is closer to grandma/grandpa, until old also closer to them. But if maid, since they are just temporary, sooner once they are gone will not be like that..
 


Caregiver
yes.. i'm very attached to my grandparents who took care of me till 7yo. (Weekend child) Then i got transferred to my Auntie for after school care as it's nearer to my parent's place and school
sad.gif

Missed my grandparents so much after I left their house.
Feel much closer to gramps rather than parents.
Now my MIL have an issue tat my son only wants me once i get home. I am loving it, but it irritates my MIL. So i wanna be fair to #2. esp when she's a gal, i want her to be able to confide in me for everything.

Nattan: i am considering. planting idea in hb's head. we think of sending him to full day school MMI to save on enrichment costs too. not so much of him being nuisance at home. if he goes MMI full day, we dun have to send him to phonics or abacus class. save $ lah. but i m having separation anxiety! LOL

Groovy: my #1 already planned #2's path!
he say mei mei sleep with him on his bed so that i can sleep with him. he don't want me to co-sleep with meimei w/o him!
then daddy carry #2 while i carry him when we go out. he fits ERGO well still.. so he say #2 slp on stroller, he slp on ERGO.
faintz!!

Sel: to avoid those bonding problems which i see in my own younger cousins n nieces/nephews, i will be SAHM and be frugal if i didn't have MIL as back up. I won't work even if i gotta be stingy on my pockets. cause it's not worth..
I have friends who are too used to spendthrift lifestyle that they can't bear to stop working.. owning 1 car each spouse, buying branded bags n clothes..
so i m trying to convince hb tat i will be able to curb my spending shld i really resign.
 
Petrina, haha.. sounds like you really have separation anxiety...my hubby is same, even if I told him that MFS is just a blk away downstairs!! I even brought him there this morning to take a look and he told me he can't bear it even if our son will only be there for a few hrs *faint* :p I think I'm the more relaxed and laid back one...

Personally, I think it's not very healthy to reinforce the bond between you and #1 if you already foresee that you may feel less attached to #2. Kids may not be able to articulate it, but they can sense the difference between a parent's feeling towards them and this can create sibling rivalry.

I got an ex-colleague who always complained to me about her brother. Both are not married and live at home with their mum. Her brother is quite bochap at home but their mum dotes on him. Their late father doted on my colleague more. After the father passed away, she was depressed for a long time cos she felt her mum doesn't love her as much as her brother no matter how much she did for her mum and the only one who really loved her passed away.

Even in the case of my hubby, he's the eldest but was not the mum's favourite lo.. his mum's favourite was #3 cos he's the smartest. I can see the middle child syndrome at play with #2 cos he tries hardest to please the parents. My hubby is more bochap but he was also the most rebellious growing up. Unbalanced parenting produce unbalanced kids :p
 
Well, those who wanna be sahm and still want income.. Maybe you wanna consider join me... Heehee..

Do part time, work like 4-5hrs per week, make abt 2-5k per month??
 
Nattan: totally agree lor.. But i scared #1 feel threatened by #2's arrival if sending him to CC coincides with #2's arrival.
sad.gif

then i scared if i dun bond with #2 more, i might distance myself away since #1 is more articulate and more whiney.

Pris: I resigned from prudential after 7yrs cause i can't work with my sticky boy.. LOL
so i rejoin office workforce to get breathing space.
so chances r i won't do PT at all if i be SAHM. My ex-boss ask me rejoin him, i already rejected.
 
Nattan: my hb also eldest but we feel MIL don't love him as much as BIL.
main reason, he was brought up by paternal granny from 0-5yo while MIL went to work full day and from 5-11yo, maternal granny took care, MIL also work full day.
BIL was taken care by MIL from birth... then stay under same roof till now. HB was weekend child from 0-11yo.
 
hihi mummies.. i remember there were some discussions about consuming Raspberry leaf tea, wondering any mummy is taking that? Will it really help to naturally induce labour?
 
Ye ye..property. For me, I full time in property la.
Like I got a close colleague. She full time housewife, part time agent, 1yrs can make 50k to 70k.

Petrina, I can understand u. I was in insurance full time for 6yrs before I shift to do property. The biggest diff is insurance got to maintain contract and target. If not, my boss keep barking. And alot of servicing. I don't like that kind of stress. But in property, I don't work for 1yr also no ppl bark at me.. That's the diff. I feel so guilty towards my manager in insurance, that's why I quit. I feel so relieve now..

Well, of cos, if you can be 100% sahm that will be the best.
I also hope my hb can give me everything.. Hahaha..
But sometimes abit hard. In Singapore, money talks and bullshit walks.. If not, my hb have to work like a dog.. Haha

For me, i plan to spend 70-80% time on baby and 20-30% at work..upbringing of the kid is very impt..
My wish since young is to able to take care of my children myself. That's why I start my "self employed" career since I was age22..till now lor...
 
Petrina, #1 needs to be socialised... that's what I told hubby also. Cannot let our son get too sticky with us, must let him make friends outside and be more sociable.

Actually my hubby also spent a few yrs of his childhood staying with his uncle (FIL's 2nd bro). Reason is to attend school which was closer to uncle's shophouse. I think that's a reason why he's not close with his mum. Last time my MIL even suggested I leave our kid with her in JB so she can help look after while hubby and I continue to work in Sg. I didn't say anything but in my heart, I was like "NO WAY!!!" She can bear to do that to her child but not me.
 
Priscilla, salute you for being self-employed for so long and having the discipline to do pty part-time while being SAHM. I think pty is something that needs a lot of self-discipline.
 
Its 4.30pm only. My eyes are closing and i feel like dozing off already.

How was lunch for all of you?

Engaged
What do you mean by engaged and when should the baby be engaged?
 
Baby Full Month Celebration

Are any of you planning to do a Full month celebration?

Will you all prepare goodie bags for friends who bring their toddlers along and can you give me ideas of what to put in the goodie bags?
 
Same.... time seems to pass so slowly in office.

Thinking of using the multi-purpose hall at my block to host the full month, otherwise think my house isnt big enough to accomodate so many people.

Necessary to prepare the goodie bags? Cos I don't intend to. Think just cater buffet only ba.
 
fleurfleur, lunch was lousy :p Went for a lunch talk with bento set provided and it was not nice.. comforted myself with an apple crumble after that.

Engaged means the baby is in the position ready for birth, pressing down towards your cervix. Different people may have different timing for baby's engagement, usually during last few weeks to EDD.

Re full month, I'm planning a small buffet at my parents' place for family including ILs. After that may have another chalet party with friends, where we can bbq or cater buffet. Not planning on having goodie bags, but I was thinking of making my own cookies with baby's name to give away.
 
Nattan,

Haha..Dont have to salute me la. I not so disciplined kind la..my 6yrs in insurance, i super lazy. average only make 2-2.5k per month. Only engh to eat 3meals.
If you wanna make BIG $$, then sure you have to be super discipline.

If you can work like 8hrs per day like you work in office, trust me you can make at least 3x or more than wat you making.

Being a self employed is just like your hb, need a bit of planning and courage to move out of your comfort zone. And you never look back.

See what is your objective for your family and baby lor. if given a choice, i dont think parents wanna put baby at cc lor.
So the choice is yours lor. And you look like a strong woman to me. One who and survive anyway.
Haahaa..Do i sound like a motivation speaker? HAHA

But what i say is true la..dont have to be in pty/insurance. you can even do some self biz. Your character sure can make it. Just need some courage!!
Well unless you tell me, that you are super love your job now. Then i rest my case.
 
fleurfleur
Engaged means baby's head goes down to birth canal. I don't have much knowledge on this but I know for my #1, I was induced at week 38 due to high blood pressure, but after suffering from labour pain for 15 hours, and fully dilated for 10cm, I could not deliver my son because it's only 38th week and he's not ready to come out yet, so head not engaged into birth canal..

So i think if baby is engaged, that means baby is ready and mummy can pop at anytime after waterbag burst or contraction kicks in..

I learned from my gynae that for 2nd time mummies, our babies wont engage till our labour starts.. but for 1st time mummies, it could happen before actual labour..
 
Felicia
Thanks for the explanation. I presume during my gynae visits checks, he should be able to scan whether the baby's head is engaged or not right?
 
hi Fleur,

I went to my boss full month party last month. He hired a clown to do some show/make balloons to entertain the kids. But i dont think i will spend the kind of $$.

I was thinking to get some balloons/bubbles to give to the kids. If not,dont bother. abit troublesome.

Anyone got any gd caterer to recommend?
 
yup fleurfleur maybe you can just ask..

my gynae is the kind never check on such things, i don't even know my baby's weight, haha.. and last time only in labour room he told me baby's head is not engaged.. he didn't do scan to check, but when i was in labour he did regular dilation check on my cervix, and told me baby not engaged although i am 10cm dilated, so can't delivery yet.. But he's super experienced so i trust him a lot.. and end up he used vacuum cup to suck my son out, i know all my other friends with the same situation went for emergency C-sect eventually..

so i think no need to be too concerned.. engaged or not, when baby is ready, he/she will come out de, hehee..
 
Nattan: Baking your own cookies? Are you sure you will have the time and energy to do that?
I wanted to be so hands on on alot of things but end up its better to outsource.

Anyway for catering i plan on using Neo Garden as they seem to be the more reliable in terms of food quality. What are your thoughts?

Ang Ku Kueh/Red Eggs/Cupcakes/Full month cakes?
Anyone ordering these?
 
Priscilla: that is your boss ... so naturally he/she earns more and can afford to spend on such things. Mine will be held at my flat so no space for all these entertainers.

Actually i like balloons but also scared when it bursts. It can be a gd idea to just have alot of balloons then they can just take one before they go back.
 
I went for my 34 weeks ck up last week. Asked dr if my bb is engaged. Dr says my bb's head is down but not engaged. He says that it is good not to be engaged too soon else means bb will deliver early....
 
Priscilla, actually I don't think I have the self-discipline you to go into pty or be self-employed.. but who knows next time when I decide to be a SAHM I may go into part time pty too. I was doing freelance writing before to supplement my income, but it doesn't pay very well unless can get big projects and long-term clients.

Re caterer, I'm thinking of Neo Garden as I received their flyer and their menu looks good. They also cater for BBQ and are halal certified so my Malay colleagues can eat. For the celebration with relatives at my parents' place, I think the no of people is very small, so I may just order a mix of takeaways like pizza, sushi, roast meat, etc..

Felicia, saw your qn about raspberry leaf tea. Suppose to take that a couple of weeks before EDD, but I think I'll have coconut juice instead. I'm not sure I want to induce labour by taking the tea. I prefer to let baby stay inside as long as he needs to unless he gets too big :p
 
Fleurfleur, hehe.. we both thought of Neo Garden!
happy.gif


Re baking cookies, I'll probably get my friends to help out.. I think they will be happy to do it.

For my hubby's relatives in M'sia, we may order the red eggs and cupcakes set from my friend's bakery in JB. They can deliver to my FIL who can help to distribute. I won't be ordering those in Sg cos expensive and not really necessary with the catering. My SIL also didn't give out these during her #1's full month.
 
Caterer
Neo Garden/Orange Clove: if u choose the 14.99 package then qualify for the baby full month promotion of 15% off.

Nattan: Takeaways sounds good for small number of people. IF u have a good cze char stall u can also get them to supply for U
How many ppl u expecting for the home one?
 
priscilla > last time i was also in the property line. Most appoints r at nite or wkend whic maks it difficult to hv family time leh. Else i really don mind going bk.
 
Fleuefleur, actually if I don't count relatives from my mum's side, I'll have less than 30 pax. If I include my uncles and aunts from mum's side, will easily exceed 30, 40 pax. I think need toI discuss with my dad cos he's not close to most of mum's siblings :p complicated family...
 
<font color="aa00aa">Re: Red date longan tea (for confinement)
a) How much are we supposed to drink daily during confinement?
b) What is the recipe?
c) How much (in kg) red dates and longans to buy, in order to last the whole month?</font>
 
Full month

I thinking of ordering from Chillipadi or Meihao99.
Quite gd reviews for Meihao99.
My friend used Chillipadi as they provide fullmonth buffet with the ang ku keuh and Glutinous Rice. Quite ok also.

http://www.meihao99.com.sg/buffet/minia.asp

For me, I thinking of getting the normal buffet
then buy Ang ku kueh and cake(like swiss roll) separately. Then make my own red eggs.
Then get some empty boxes for guest/relative who wish to bring some home.
 
Hi Moi,

your qns just in time. I just spoken to my CL last time on the herbs to buy. She give me 1 whole list.

for red date longan drink.
She asked to buy:

4pack of red dates(1kg per pack) seedless kind
1/2kg dried longan (black kind)
 
Chris,
you are the fortunate one. Dont have to work. HB can take care of everything. If you wanna work, just to kill time lah.. Not like me, still have to work to support our High expenses.

You gd life Tai Tai..Heehee
 
Priscilla, Meihao99's menu looks good and affordable. I may get the mini buffet for the celebration at my parents' place. It's not halal so cannot use them for my chalet gathering with colleagues and friends.

Re red date drink, that's a lot of red dates and longan!! Do we have to drink that daily?? Seems heaty...
 
Yes nattan, we have to drink everyday. Like all the confinement caterer, they will include the drink in every meal.. So is important I guess. I think we just follow lor..
What I know to boil 1pot of red dates drink need a lot of dates also..seriously I also don't know 4kg is how much.haahaa, much buy already then I know..

For the longan, my cl ask to buy 1kg, not half.. Paiseh
 
Nattan: red dates is ok. Its the Longan that's heaty. If u are prone to heatiness just take red dates tea itself without Longan
It's supposed to replace our water intake I.e. 1.5 liter to drink daily
 
Ya, I see meihao99 comments not bad also.. But the don't Ang ku kueh.
That's why, I was thinking order from them, then buy Ang ku kueh separately.. Cos my uncle distribute kueh kueh.. Will ask him to get the best tasting Ang ku kueh for me from the supplier at distributor price..

Cos I don't intend to bus those full month boxes of cakes. First expensive, second don't know wanna buy how many boxes. If left over, have to throw. And usually, not so tasty.
I prefer, guest come, eat and go back. Wanna take home can tabao.
If not, 1box of cake like $8-$10? Inside 2eggs, 2ang ku kueh and 4cupcakes/Swiss roll?
Seriously every time I receive, I don't finish lor.. Like the Ang ku kueh skin already harden. Not tasty already.

That's how I feel la..
 
Priscilla, what's the recipe? I found a few recipes online but some ask for black dates as well :/ Based on the amount of dates vs longan, I'd say just make sure the ratio is 4 parts dates to 1 part longan?

Re ang ku kueh, ya, must be eaten fresh. My friend's bakery's basic full month set has 2 cupcakes + 2 red eggs. I think it's good enough for giving my hubby's relatives lo.. It's not cheap.. still around $8+ per box after conversion. I don't expect them to come to Sg, so this is the next best thing..
 
Ya.. My cl also ask me buy black/blue dates.. I also for what. Ask me buy 1kg..
Recipe, i not sure. Think can ask the shop when I buy. If not, when my deliver and my cl here i ask.. Cos I think I will deliver before you. My edd 11june.

Ya lor, Ang ku kueh must eat fresh. Therefore, I think buy and add to my buffet. $8 per box? For 2cake and 2egg? In sgd or rm?
 
$8+ after conversion... in SGD.

I found a recipe:
50g black dates
50g nan dates/ nan zhao
150g red dates
50g dried longan
1500ml water

Method:
1) Rinse dates and flatten. Remove the core.
2) Cook dates with water until boiling. Simmer over low heat for approximately 2 hours.
3) Remove from heat, strain well and serve hot.
4) Place the remainder into a thermos flask and drink throughout the day
 
Wa.. $8. So ex even in Malaysia.

Haha.. Ya, is nan zhao.. Not blue dates.. Haha..
If u do that everyday.. Example . 50g nan x 30days = 1500g
She ask me to buy 1kg, not alot lor..
 
red date tea. Cn add many herbs inside. Cn add dang sheng to 补气，du zhong to 补腰 n many othr things.

If bf, try to dilute else bb jaundice level mayb affected.
 
Ya chris, you r right..
My cl also ask me to buy all these and many more. But I don't know for what use..
Got to spend again..
 
Quite basic recipe for drink
Dried longans
Red dates
Black dates
Black fungus
Boil together. Portion depends on how sweet u want. No specific ingredient list. Sweeter, add more longans, thicker, add more dates.
Best to get seed dates n self peel. Seedless tend to have worms in pre pack. So muz wash very throughly. Rub between palms. But if soak too long, the sweetness get washed out.
So u weigh the convenience n benefits then decide what type of dates u wanna get.

When i have #1, i bought dates early. Spent 1wk splititng the seed out during last trimester of pregnancy. Store in air tight container in fridge. Can last a long time if no touch water.

Confinement mth no plain water allowed. So u need 3L of liquids daily. Multiple 30days i think 1-2kg is normal. Post confinement also can drink.

Full mth celebration
I mentioned earlier that my #1 i ordered normal buffet then whole cake n a box of pointed ang ku kueh cause i have a boy. Different gender got different ang ku kueh. Make sure u specify.
I boiled eggs myself n coloured them 1day b4 party.
Rented nearby cc hall.
 
priscilla > jus buy lor. Usually i wil jus follow. Bt if the ingredient wil affect bb while bf, thn i wil avoid or reduce. Nvr mind spend $ lar. If dont spend nw, nex time wan2 bu also too late liao. Aiyo, me nt as lucky as u tink lar. i also nd to wk if wan2 maintain a certain level of lifestyle. Since bein a sahm, my spendin habits hv totally change. Jus yesterday my hubby also comment," i tot tat amt meant nothing to u?", thn i tell him nw, even $1 mak a diff. Haha. :p So i wil also lik to wk if possible...i nd a new car! :p
 
Petrina: where to get the red coloring for red eggs and also any method to prevent our hands frm getting stained when peeling.

Weather so hot today! Didn't zzz much and well last night.
 


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