Hi Kimiko,
I had just read through your dilemma just now and it sounds like the agreement on this forum is that the best solution for you may be to do confinement at your mom's home with a CL and to do the baby's first month at your MIL's home. It also sounds like your husband may have resistance to this idea.
I think that agreement with your husband is important in this issue because the child is yours and your husband's and my belief is that the wife should be the husband's most beloved, particularly after 9 months of nourishing the baby and going through a possibly difficult delivery process.
Based on my own experiences, I wonder whether the suggestions below will work for you?
i) Hang around other families with newborns, particularly those where the husbands take good care of their wives.
I am very blessed because my husband's circle of friends including 2 families who fulfill those criteria. And when they know I am pregnant, (although they are my husband's friends), they have already educated my husband on the importance of care of the wife particularly after such a trying period. Thus, my husband is already very convinced about the necessity of a CL especially for the first 2 weeks while I am healing from the delivery wounds.
So even when my MIL was first trying to persuade me (coz I'm more "soft" in this sense) and after my harmonious but non-commital answer, she had approached my husband about employing a maid (the horrors of training a new maid in our first month while trying to recover from wounds!!!!), my husband rejected her outright and informed her about our decision to employ a CL at least in the first 2 weeks. This is despite the fact that I'm living in my ILs' household.
ii) Involve him more in the pregnancy and pregnancy care, and help him understand the changes in your body, how're you're feeling and potentially what you will experience after childbirth. Try to also talk about the care of the baby in the first month and help him understand the tasks needed to care for the newborn and how it will affect your life.
I believe that our husbands love us and will want the best for us as their wives, within each family's constraints, limits and circumstances. My discernment (without knowing too much into your personal circumstance) is that your hubby may simply have underestimated the amount of work needed to care for a newborn. We also need to take into account this is our first child and we are inexperienced and we are trying to recover from physical wounds. If this is the real cause, getting him to learn these will be one way to soften the resistance in him.
Of course all these has to be taken also with understanding the reason behind his resistance of you moving to your mom's place. He may have good reasons which can also be addressed too.
Underlying all of these is the principle that care of your baby is a partnership between you and your husband. Because with the child, both your husband and you are finally becoming yi4 jia1 zhi1 zhu3 and have a dependent to care for.
Not sure if these will help? Jia you! There's still 6 months more to go to reach agreement. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
I think mine also ler, altho only 11 weeks [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] It's like super fast can be seen liao, wanna hide longer also cannot [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] I look so bloated (literally fat la!) now...*sob sob*