RE: Helper
Indeed, the helper you get depends on the person, that we hve not much control over. I can only share what worked for me, which may no apply to your household.
Generally, you know who you will be comfortable with. Personally, I have no comfort with Indon.
I am comfortable with Filipino who are religious. I thank God, I got a Christian.
Rules:
It's important to have a set of house rules. I didn't start with one that is in depth, but I know my priority is hygiene and safety and the kid's welfare. So, I trained her personally on CPR, choking manuever, fire-fighting, emergency drills. And hubby tests her every so often.
Mutual respect:
I take her as my assistant that's why I never use the word "maid" to describe our relationship. She address me by my first name but calls my hubby "sir". I extend the basic courtesy to her and expect the same from her. I trained my son to use his P(lease), (thank)Q & S(orry) with her.
She is treated like a family, I believe this help her blend into our family and hopefully helped with her home sick. Other things I can do to help her with her home sick incl giving her skype time once a week for an hour on Sat, and besides her official off on the first Sunday, she is free to go meet her sisters or attend church the rest of the Sundays, after following me to my church.
Work Sked:
A routine work sked is essential. We worked this out together. And we reivew of the sked every so often to suit my son's sked because he can be very "occupying" at times. I allow her flexibility of moving some tasks between days when this is needed.
Rewards -
I try to get her non-monetary reward so that she will not always expect it, or take me for granted. e.g. recently I removed her curfew. Occasionally, I gv her additional off on Sat afternoon, and public holidays afternoon.
I agreed to move her home leave from April to Dec so that she could celebrate X;mas and NY with her family back home. I extended her leave to 3 wks so that she could stay until her children's birthday.
Penalty:
So far I have not impose any penalty on her. But I counsel her as and when she makes mistakes.
I do give her warnings and she is smart enough to learn.
At times, I am not the most patient person to counsel her, but so long as she gets the message. Anyway, I cannot be too soft with her.
In summary, I like to treat her maturely and for me, it worked.
Have u ladies think of contraceptive method if wanna close shop already? I'm thinking of ligation. Any comments, feedback on this?