(2011/07) July 2011

crayon> i also prefer its my mum who is willingly to care for my kid. but she doesnt wan to. she said she needs to work. when she said that, i feel really upset and pissed. wat kinda mum is she??? somemore its e 1st grandchild in e family. anyway once i move out, i dun think i will care so much for them. really hurts me for her to say these.



but i m grateful to her during this period she is caring for me..like brewing e bird nest.

 


sunshinebb> my mil is a great lady but something i dislike is she cares for a whole bunch of pple. every reunion meal, besides own family (her daughter and me daughter-in-law, her son (my hb) not in sg), she will cook alot for all these extra pple (3 cousins and 1 godson). i mean i dun mind if she is earning alot more to support these. but her monthly allowance is from my hb. e rest do gives her allowance but its so little (like 100 or 200 per month). where got enough to eat good food and well taken care of everyday? i m pissed in a way she seems like using our allowance to feed them since my hb not in sg and me not staying wif her. i dun know how she cope wif e $ management. e house electricity, water bill, food mainly from my hb?

 
Audrey> really? so concident. actually i realised alot more pregnant ladies this year. maybe this is why e govt not adjusting e $ since he predicts a peak in birth rate this year.

 
Since I need to go back to school after I give birth, my ex-boyfriend (baby's father) actually offered to take care of the Baby. But my side of the family is having a bad relationship with his side of the family. Don't want his parents to #$%#@# at me if I want to see my baby in the future. So...I rather I take care of Baby myself, together with the help of my parents. My Mom is quitting her job when I give birth... so I am thankful that my Mom is helping out...



But I still envy those who have really such nice in laws...!

 
wow fei mei,

so good ah, you can 'seldom go down to mil place"?



for mine they wana meet every sat for dinner.

and i meet my mom every sun for lunch or dinner.

 
Janice - At least u got bird nest from her..

I have bird's nest fern outside my house ah.. bird egg.. bird shit on my roof..



imagine i had a nightmare last night woke up crying.. over silly thing like.. MIL ate all my durian away..



Luckily i have a habit since young to tell ppl "monster chase me" when ever i wake up from nightmare crying.. o.0"

 
Janice: actually in my heart, i oso prefer my mum to take care of my kids.. But she said b4 dat she gets tired easily, so i nvr really ask her... I dun wan her health to be affected mah... So dat day when she said she has tendered n so can consider taking care of my bunny, I'm really happy! But i dunno if my MIL will be unhappy cos I nvr ask her at all (partly bcos my mum stays closer to me, it's easier to bring bunny home everyday)...



nvm, u can consider taking care of ur bb 1st till u find a job... den see if u want to put in infant care? Let's take one step at a time... Who noes, maybe when ur lil one is out, she changes her mind and wants to take care for u? hehe...

 
sometimes i wish to tell her "stop using our allowance for you to take care of them". we are not well-to-do and we are stinging so much. yet she is spurging on them. instead she shd save up e $. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
crayon,



dont have to worry if mil will angry you never ask her take care of bunny...we are the mummies, we really do have the right to decide who to take care.

if own mom take care, watever we dont like we can voice out, if mil take care, we really have to bear with watever habits we dont like..



eg. i really cannot stand it if anyone offer adult food to my baby when she is less than 2 years/ 3 years old..coz in my own context, they are supposed to eat bland food.no salt, no msg.

 
Shila - as i told u that day u are very lucky to have your parents' support .. for me.. i cant just run back to my parents for help just like that one..

 
Feimei: i asked my hubby to tell them already since my last check-up but he kept quiet abt it.last two wks nearly tell them but also nv say..



Luckily we hv our own flat to stay n need nt choose to stay with parents or pil.... N i am ondependent..



Crayon: did u just post on fb? I saw same nickname.. Perhaps i shld wear more tighter clothings to ahow that i am pregnant n to get priority seat to show my tum tum.. .

 
Audrey> hahaa..u r so funny. we bought e bird nest ourselves, not bought by my mum. my mum only helps to brew it for me. currently i m not working and i m not giving my mum any allowance. only give a bit of allowance to my dad for e electricity/water bill since i m staying wif them. need to contribute a bit. although my mum is unhappy, but i mention abt how ex e hospitalization and gynae fee is. so i think she LL.



crayon> since ur mum has quit, maybe you hv to think of 'equvilent-paid' allowance for her since she wanna take care of your bb. did you gals talk abt this alriz?



yeah $ is sensitive issue. yeah you are right, lets take 1 step at a time esp for me. i first gotta find a job after confinement. -_-

 
sunshine> sooo whats ur bet??? hahahaha



crystal_cloud> dun wan to go back then dun go lol...ask hub to go back himself...hahahhahaa...they more concern for their 2nd son...(my hub is elder)...soo we go back anot...dosen't make any diff lah....do u know, when they come my hse (i din ask them to come)...hv to be very secretly, like thief!!! got once, when they at my hse...their 2nd son call n FIL hv to bluff him saying that he at kpoitiam lim kopi...after hand up...he explained that they seldom go his 2nd son hse...if his 2nd son know that they come my hse...they might not be happy...realli joker, right??? got such thing...deep in my heart...better dun come la...i dun expect both of u to come oso...wat a lame excuse to give.... -__-"

 
Good morning peeps! Not working today cos having bad headache..going out shortly to pick my son up from nursery..



we route back to topic of MIL again? haha...



Janice, my confinement lady is also taking a cab from Singapore checkpoint to my place in Punggol - even I hv car, i oso dun wanna go pick her up. Of course hv to reimburse her cab fare..from Woodlands to Punggol the max oso $20 so still ok. She will be sleeping in the next room with baby and since I intend to latch, she will just carry the baby over every 2 - 3 hrs for me to latch. That's wat i do with my #1 too...abit tiring but mummies who tink that confinement is actually time to rest gotta discount that a little bit because during confinement, mummies oso will be getting less sleep..after latch (1hr) gotta pump 15 - 30minutes then onie sleep for 1.5hrs before the cycle continues.

During my confinement period and the remaining 3mths of maternity, i din really sleep more than 3hrs in a row. That's mother's sacrifice and speaking from observation of my friends who did not engage confinement lady, it is doubly 'shiong' cos if bb cry in the middle of the night, you hv to take care of him urself unless u work out a schedule with hb..day time u take care of bb, after he comes back, he take over completely, u sleep then after 12am u take care until 5am then hb take over till he goes to work..

 
Jan - on .. is ur mum who did the brewing ah.. i tot MIL.. =p my MIL dun cook de..



alot of ppl very xie mu of me i m staying with my ILs.. MIL's sisters can even say i got good life.. cos they say PILs staying with me, can do housework, cook and take care of the baby..



sorry lor .. non from them.. haiz..

 
baby_manja> if hub did not call back...then wait till next round visit, then u wear tighter clothing to show them ur tum tum lol...if they still dun ask, then as a DIL part, u rub ur tum tum and tell them, "you got a princess grandchild and due date is.....n full stop...hahahaha...short n sweet!!!

 
My MIL could even tell me if it's her in my position, she'd rather not have a baby. Having children is so troublesome in her opinion. She's a nice lady but sometimes her views can be very extreme too. She does brew bird's nest for me now and then. But till today, she cant recall when I'm supposed to deliver even though she's asked and I've told her a few times. Dunno if it's old age or selective memory...

 
audrey> aiyaaa...ppl jus like to boost all these bo liao thing...they realli tink if PIL staying with us, really do all these meh...realli got to view cam down wat they did at home n show it to them when these ppl tok abt it again...hahahaha...c who is fortunate??? PIL to stay w us OR we wan to stay w PIL....

 
audrey, i for one will never envy ppl who stay with in-laws cos I cannot imagine how life will be like! For me if i stay with in-laws, i tink i will need to build a mini-home inside my room with TV, computer, hot water, sink etc cos i will never wanna step out of the room..keke



actually my IL never ask me abt my pregnancy oso but i m ok with it..she oso will never purposely cook for me. Weekends dinner at her place is always fave food for hb like clams (which is rich in Vit A and i cannot eat cos will cause abnormalities in bb - i told hb that alr but guess it falls on deaf ears dunno on whose side), fried chicken (which i oso dun like), salted vege soup (no nutrition at all)!!! even the steamed fish is steamed at 4pm and our dinner is at 6pm! Imagine faced with a smelly fish during dinner, really a big turn off.. told my hb many many times, steamed fish should be done when we are abt to start dinner so that u can ensure the freshness and no fishy smell yet oso on deaf ears.

I still prefer my mom's steamed fish!! 15minutes into dinner and the fish will be ready with super alot of side dishes.. i like!

 
syrah, got bird nest better then dun hv..i buy my own birds nest to brew once every 2 weeks and my mom buy longan + red dates tea for me to boil every weekend too! when my mom pass them to me, my hb can even say loudly "how to cook, mabbe i can boil for u"..5mths liao, i m still boiling them myself..if i depend on my MIL for chicken soup or bird nest, i tink that will prob be when the sun rises fr the west!

 
crystal_cloud: actually i don't mind if MIL n my mum take turns to take care, but it's just the hassle of travelling to MIL's hse... maybe i'll just hint to her nicely one day & prepare her... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



baby_manja: yap, i juz joined the fb grp... hehehe...



Janice: i hvn told my hubby abt my mum's taking care of bb n the allowance cos i forgot how much is infant care when i last asked... :p Also hv to think of a nice way to put it to him so dat he'll noe how to explain to his mum, in case she asks...

 
Syrah:: yr mil ihas one funny character.. If so troublesome to hv baby then why she got pregnant n give birth to yr husband.. Having a child is a blessing n it brings joy to a fam..



Today everyone seem to hv issue with Pil., including me.. Haiz..

 
zachmommy> u really paid for her cabfare. i dun find it necessary. but of coz its at ur comfort zone.



mdmkhoo> yeah i m not choosing such person as my CL.



zachmommy> i think drinking bird nest every 2 weeks is reasonable. not too frequent.

 
crayon> well at least u can hv 2 helpers :p maybe can first hint him tat ur mum has quit her job?? dun leave ur mil out totally..tell ur hb tat she can come over to help out once in a while? wat do u think?

 
ya lor...Jan-ice tht is wht i hate most...if not my HB $$$...who care wht she wnt to cook or cook for who to eat...but at least she still will boil birdnest for u..



Feimei...hehehe i bet is birdie



Oh Audrey...i love tht bird's nest fern outside the house ah.. bird egg.. bird shit on the roof...wohahaha so funny

 
baby,

She gave birth to 3 children! But all 3 were farmed out to others to take care of. I doubt she even knows how to bathe a baby.



Zachmommy,

Yea sometimes i have a hard time understanding her. At times it seems like she's really concerned but then there's still a distance. Well it's gd that my MIL can cook though. My own mom cant. So the one thing my MIL can contribute is through her cooking which she enjoys doing for people anyway.



Your hb cant boil the drink till now? Must train! Last time my hubby also cant operate the washing machine. But now he does all the mopping and vacuuming ard the house.

 
sunshinebb> no matter wat she is my mum. she shd help me boil e birdnest when she could. i dun mind doing my own cooking IF its my own kitchen. my mum dun cooks lunch or dinner for me coz she is working. i dun mind. but over e weekends, she hardly cook any nutrition food for me. can luncheon meat or porridge wif can food. sometimes i wish to hv a better mum. why she so lazy? [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] oh but when my bro is back for meal, she will make e effort to cook something better. so biased!

 
syrah> wow u trained ur hubby is it? hehee...luckily my hubby is an independent guy. so he will take care of e household chores when i m staying wif him. 1 thing although my hubby not rich, but at least he is a nice/doting and care for me guy.

 
for me after marriage till now i had not done any housework... all done by DH... he refuse let me do... he ask me to rest... I only do the cooking at home...

 
Jan,

My hubby can cook all along so that area is settled. It's the household chores. Must nag at him to help. But since my 2 operations, he's learnt to take on more tasks ard the house. No choice but to do them or there's no one to do it!

 
mdm/syrah> i guess nowadays e guys are getting more doting on wives. so we are lucky woman [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] hehee..

 
ladies, don't fret over who's caring for the bb now ok? look after urself and the little one inside first...we are already close to mid term of the pregnancy liao...



if there's no one at home to care for the little one, can consider infant care. my #1 is now in 1, and we are actually v glad that we have put him there coz he's more disciplined and independent than some of the bbies ard his age. the infant care teachers and childcare teachers have nothing but praises for him whenever we send and fetch him..I'm actually v glad that we made the decision to send him to 1 when we found out that my MIL is unable to take care of him temporarily due to some health issues. With #2 coming soon, we have lesser headaches on managing and caring for 2 kids with such narrow gap....

 
Janice: I dun mind if my MIL comes over once in a while, but she dun even noe how to take bus to my hse... always nid to trouble my PIL to send her over & bring her home... haha... pai seh to trouble pple...



anyway, my hb has oredi said ok to our initial plan on sending bb to an infant care near my parents' place... so i guess it shld be ok if my ma takes over... juz give the allowance to her instead.. Juz settle his mum's side nicely can liao... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
hi mtbs...how do you take your supplements? I took fish oil (DHA) together with my calcium pills in the morning. at night i take my multivit. yesterday heard from my friend that her gynae say dun take fish oil with calcium pil. Now in confusion...so tot of checking with all of u...

 
ST: In the morning, i take fish oil + new obimin + calcium pill + an tai med + other med... In the night, just an tai med...



my gynae prescribed calcium pill n fish oil, both to be taken in the morning... so i assume can?

 
Janice, the monthly fee after working mum subsidy is abt $630(w GST).



Apart from the registration fee and 1mth fee we paid using cash, we are using his CDA account to pay for his infant care..thus, in a way, we are only paying 50% of what we need to pay after subsidy.

 
ask u all ah.. u all going to go for any hospital tour before deciding hospital?

my gynae can deliver at mount A and TMC.. right now comparing the cost between these 2 hospital.. need some help.. many have recommend MOunt A is pretty good.. but on the other hand, i also find that TMC also not bad especially their membership can have total discount of hospital bill... any advice???

 
soon-to-be> where is ur #1 sch? 1? so we can use the CDA acct for the sch fee too??? do we inform the ctr or we hv to settle ourselves?

 
ST> i separate my intake for calcium pills w my multi-vits...my gyane say so...u may wan to call up ur gynae or nurse to cfm....

 

feimei...ya my doc say take fish oil + calcium in morning aft meals...multivit take at nite coz better absorbtion...but my fren say fish oil cant take with calcium so i very "luan" leh

 
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