(2011/07) July 2011


liz, i am also gg for my DS tmrr at KKH! r u from kkh too? mine is am... excited and scared...



today din go to work. so did not log in...

 
yeah, finally fb is private group! i wanna join!!! can someone pls invite me? [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi mummies,



Have a bottle of unopened Prenatal DHA fish oil to let go at $40, Self collect @ Sengkang. PM me if keen. Thanks!



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/3877999/5136398.jpg]

 
syrah> then who is helping you during the confinement? its very impt to take good care of ourselves during tis confinement period. so no matter wat its good to get one.



Icezjo> really? so u also cant find a CL to help?? my gosh, cant imagine nowadays CL can be soooo picky. ~faint~ I actually got 1 extra bedroom but its now full of storages due to my parents lor. Then my 2 chihuahuas are damn noisy,

so need to keep them in that bedroom. where is ur new flat and when is it coming??



Audrey> you better let your CL knows abt this arrangement coz most of them i have talked to, are unwillingly to sleep together wif me and the baby, not to mention your dogs. I have checked out those dogs hotels...damn expensive..not

worth it.



My MIL is actually ok to help me with the confinement but she mentioned she is uncomfy staying with my parents. Then 1 thing my hd worried she is too old (68 only wat) and 2nd thing I didnt wanna wake up in e middle of e night to help with e baby. With e CL ard, I think I can sleep slightly more. Heehee.e.

 
Ixoral, did u go? I was the one nearer to Colleen, dunno if u are there. Sorry had to rush off cos I was extremely hungry n had to answer a call.

 
ok gals, gotta log off now.. preparing to sleep cos tmr gotta wake up early for my DS... super scared and excited... argh... hopefully can sleep well...

 
pillow .. i dun think u are fren fren of mine in fb le..

u wanna add me thr? den i invite u?



[email protected]



Jan - I try put them at my ILs room or what.. let them have a taste (sniff) of how much room has been smelling like.. CanT put in kitchen cos kitchen open concept..

(Zzzz.. prev owner hack the wall off)

But how come she dun wanna sleep with me oh... I wanna latch on the kid at night de..

Maybe I'll throw my hubby to my IL's room also (together with the dogs LOL)

 
Audrey> hehe..tats a good idea. my parents room too cramped. so i cant do tat. headachae abt my dogs, if not i got 1 extra bedroom for e CL. Dun know CL are picky.



All mummies>

Oh i talked to this CL recently, named (Auntie Bi Ai). She is 61 and has more than 10 yrs experiences. I told her I dun have a car and asked her whether she knows how to get to tpy. Guess wat she told me? She told me those who has hired her will drive her from the malaysia checkpoint to their house. Since I dun hv a car, its ok. She can take a cab from the malaysia checkpoint to my house and I just have to pay for her cabfare.

Wat??? This sounds absurd lor!! Is it like this for all mummies here?

 
Jan - regarding the dogs.. yah.. Hubby came home saw me crying cos of the mess.. he say bring it back to SIL place.. but i cant bear it to go cos he will be so neglected there...

So when ever I feel angry... I'll imagine a speech bubble on the dog saying, "I am old.. dun leave me alone, please." Den I heart soft liao...



I dunno if u all can see what I am trying to say not.. its not the dog I am angry at actually.. its the people..



The dog came together as a package.. together with my ILs staying over at my place..

Liability all on my hubby and I.. I dun seem to have a choice..

Very xie mu of those people who are living alone with DH.. or at least, those who has ILs with them and they help out with the housekeeping and kids (or going to look after your kids)..

Mine only ask me if my mum helping me to take care anot.. (so smart of them)

CL is just the beginning.. Think about Nanny.. Childcare.. School.. i dun wanna think liao..



Haiz.. guess I am being emotional again..

 
Audrey> i feel tat for e time being you take care of your dogs first. then during the last half month b4 ur EDD, put your dogs back to ur ILs' place. Then u solve this problem already.

Anyway its only for 1 month.

 
Jan - my ILs rent their place out.. and they stay with me... o.0"

cos some auntie gave them this very smart idea to rent their own place.. and move in with us..

Thats why i say.. dog + ILs come together as a package de...

 
Audrey> oh no wonder..its actually a good idea for them to earn extra income. but it will be hard on u and ur hb. are they giving you guys any allowances?? i only hv my mil (fil passed away), so next time she will most likely stay wif us, which i strongly object. but my hb said next time she can take care of our daughter, bring her to school, so i LL (since i dislike maid or nanny). they are very irresponsible and expensive too.

 
Janice,

I got my CL from agency. No hassles of transport, chop passport or anything. I decided to employ from agency because I feel that there are less hassles and is more secure..

Maybe u wanna try calling up agency to ask if their CL r ok with sleeping in same room as u? I think those from agencies might be more accomodating to requests..

 
Hmmm.. My hubby is actually a very filial boy..

I dun blame him for doing this actually..

But I m not brought up like this (as in i dun stay with my own grandparents), so many a times i'll be suffering from mood swings when the tiniest thing i see not "shun yan".. like laundry 1 week never keep..

They never give us $, no pay any bills/mortage for us..

But good thing is.. it lighten alot of load from my hubby cos he no nid to give them $ every month liao..

They only duty they have at my house is to walk the dogs morning and noon lor..

and no.. they r not taking care of my kids.. zzzz

 
Audrey & Jan-ice,

I'm like the opposite of the two of u. Both my bro & I want my mum to stay tog with us cos she can help out with the kids. My poor mum is quite torn as to who to help. But since my in laws can't help n my SIL has her mum to help, my mum will be moving in with me. Also plus the fact it's twins too so I'll need more help.

 
Audrey> i think hiring a maid or e childcare comparing to mil, quite a lot of differences in costs.



next time my 2 dogs will put at my parents' place when my new flat is here. my new flat is only 10 mins away from my parents' place. so i can pop by anytime to shower and grooming my dogs [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Audrey:

Huh? They r staying with u & yet not helping with the kids? How can that be possible??? Even your MIL not helping??? I'm sure when the baby arrives, she will have her opinions as to what to do & what not. That's the real headache part.

 
Audrey> yeah your hubby is a filial son..same as my hb. no choice, anyway its good they are filial. this means they will take good care of the family (e wife and kids). [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] well, its good tat ur hd no need to give allowances to them. my hb gives quite a fair bit to her mum [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] i m quite unhappy, so persuade and cut a bit coz now i m jobless and bb on e way. at least he gives in to me regarding this allowances thingy. you know lor, filial one and only son. ~faint~



syrah> well mum and mil can be quite different :p my mum prefer to work than help me. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] i dun wish to force her. but at least she is caring for me now tat i m pregnant. my mil will accompany me to see gynae once in a while since my hb not in sg. me lucky in a way, my mil is quite a nice old lady. but i dun know how is it like if staying together. -_- staying together may have conflicts i guess.

 
Jan - I cannot be separated from my dachshund de.. ~>.<~ dun wanna send him back to my parents.. =p



Jan/Agnes - my MIL work as one of the manager in a huge cosmetic chain store (not many popular ones in SG lah) and its not financially sensible for her to quit her job to look after kids.. and i dun wanna ask her do that too.. if not.. i'll be the bad sheep who made her quit her career for the sake of the kid..



but my MIL is very very very very very committed to her own dotter aka my SIL whom i pitied the dog for..

Think.. own dotter/mummy diffferent bahh..

She did ask me if my mum will be taking care of the kid..

i told her.. surname follow my dad lor.. she LL also..

end up i told her.. my mum is working.. i ask her leave her job = as u (MIL) leave ur job.. fair to her anot? she diam diam..



i didnt know about it only till recently.. that my FIL pick up my SIL after work in redhill to send her to pick her son from CC then to her home in Jurong..



this is the difference of own dotter and not own dotter..

 
syrah> at first i m actually quite upset and angry with my mum coz she didnt wanna take care of my baby when she is out. somemore my new flat will be so near to her house. save a lot of hassles for me. but no choice, cant force her, so swallow down e unhappiness.

 
Audrey> yeah of coz la, own dotter and not own dotter can be quite alot of difference. never mind, as long as your hb doting on you will do.



yeah its true, it will be such a waste for ur MIL to leave her high paid job to care for your kids. doesnt really make sense, but at least she can helped to contribute in other ways (like paying for a CL for you..hehehe).

 
I agree there's a diff bet own mom & MIL. If my MIL can help us, I wouldn't have resorted to asking my own mum though. afterall like what u said, the baby follows their surname loh! But my MIL is CMI with kids one. Even her own daughter told me not to ask her. She herself dare not let her mum take care of her own kid.

 
Jan - that time when we change aircon for the house cos hers broke down liao.. my MIL only ask me 1 question "pay by cash or card?" i told her by cash.. she diam diam walk away.. i told myhubby.. ask = nv ask..

 
Audrey> my parents r doting on my bro's wife too coz i think they hv this mentality by doing so, my bro will be filial to them even more. so biased!! this is why i wanted a son! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] but i m expecting a daughter. anyway think of e positive side, fengshui master said this year its good to have a daughter. self-comfort to myself.

 
syrah> tats not surprising for audrey's IL nt helping to look after bb after born...i tot my MIL will help too, tats y move all the way fr east to west n after i preg, then realised tat she got no intention to look after my kids...also pissed off but i wun sandwich my hb between me n her la...i keep nodded n will prepare to put lil bunny to infant care lol...wat to do....my own mum passed away n dun expect my dad to help...man can't offer any help!!! Haiz~~~my next hse will be back to east side!!!

 
syrah> wats CMI?



Audrey> my mil will taking care of my bb after delivery. u know wat she said, she will bring her back to her house immediately after my confinement. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] wat? tats abit too fast. i told her maybe wait till i hv found a job. but on e other hand, its true i didnt know how to handle not to mention take care of a baby. i will be totally helpless and handicap.



Audrey> so she is paying for e aircon or not??

 
Jan,

Oh no! It must really be tough when your mom refused to help u. I was really jittery abt asking my mom too. Really dunno what to do if she refused.



Audrey,

It's really now that I'm pregnant that I can see who's really treating us well. And I'm really thankful for my own mum.

 
Jan - oh.. Ur own parents dote your own bro de wife...

I think gender of baby not important ... My MIL wants a girl from me cos she say her dotter got son Liao...

I dun care lor.. I wan a son cos I always wan a big brother all my life..

 
Audrey> hmm...which postings?? i hv been talking abt both my mum and mil lay.



feimei> my gosh..didnt expect u hv e same issue too. somemore u move hse just coz of this. can be really upsetting. no offense, i actually prefer east side than west side.

 
Jan,

I would rather struggle thru everything, ask friends, research or whatever, than to let inlaw just take my new born away from me after confinement! Even if dunno what to do also nvm. I'm sure your maternity instinct will surface n know what to do at that point in time. New borns & their mummies need bonding. How can she just take the baby back to her own house like that???

 
syrah> oh ic. i think my own parents cannot CMI. sometimes i dun know how their thinkings are. so also good my MIL will be taking care of my bb. but she doesnt speaks english, only my dad does. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Audrey> yeah my own parents doting most on my brother (plus his wife). I also wanted a son. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
audrey> same la...one call fr my sil...my fil will zoom to pick her despite fr her workplc (woodland) or anywhere she shopping at....realli dote till can c the 'zhap'...but my fathet din do this to me b4 leh.... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] tats y i hv been sooo independent, dun wan to depend on ppl!!!!

My MIL oso working but nt high pay, she is a orbi-lady!!! She can oways say hw much she can earn rather than staying at hm lol...i oso dun wan her to look after my bunny, i can't afford to pay her!!! Hahhahahaa

 
Feimei,

Totally understand your sentiments. My house is also much closer to in law's place than my own parents. Tot in laws will be helpful but N-O!!!

 


syrah> i m also quite surprised when she said tat one day. but maybe its my fault coz i keep saying i wanna get a job asap after confinement. see how ba, for us, getting a job first is more impt than my bb.



why impt:

1. i need to find a job asap so tat my hb can come back to sg to find a job. dun wish to stay separated. this year's resolution. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

2. bb is here, new flat is coming (2012)....so needed more $$$$$.. tight budget!

 
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