mummy ho,
i was like you really. except maybe yours is worst. I had depression and I cried every night because I knew it was going to be another sleepless night. Then in the morning I would cry again coz i had to face my vomiting (and my beloved toilet bowl) myself again. I vomited 20 over times a day. Sometimes food, sometimes bile, sometimes acid, sometimes water, milo, everything, biscuits.
The worst thing was when I felt so helpless and nobody could understand my pain. I was so miserable I contemplated having an abortion. I asked myself everyday why everyone else loves their baby but I felt nothing. I felt that the baby was evil and it was out to torture me. That was how bad it was. My discomfort was the kind that even lying down I felt horrible. Is yours like that? I couldn't sleep in the daytime even. My friends said I looked like I aged 10 years. I had to stop all my work, all my leisure activities, my whole life came to a halt.
I think the worst thing that happened was that I felt that I was living in a dark hole. I told some of the mothers here and they were so supportive. That really helped. Some of us here have/had really bad MS too. I was even more stubborn than u, so desperate and miserable yet REFUSED to take the damn medicine. My hubby was at his wit's end too and one night he really asked me if we shld stop this because i was so upset and I wanted him to stop my pain. Even typing this now I will still cry...