(2011/02) Feb 2011

felpoo



u are really very nice. unless that was a condition hubby and i agreed with before marriage, I'd say why cannot stay with daughter? also flesh and blood!



plus lots of mums get along better with their own daughters so all parties happy. at most if they are concerned about optics, how other ppl view them, the SIL hubby might not be happy etc, then yr hubby can give a large allowance and help to pay SIL's household bills? If I were you, I'd even contribute cash if she's willing to stay with her daughter.



am assuming yr FIL passed away?

 


Updated the table a bit - i can make both Wed and Thurs. Geri mentioned she can make Wed, but preferably not Thurs. How bout the rest?



Raffles City Shopping Centre, Shokudou, B1 (right at the end, after Breadtalk)



1.idaarshad **PREFER DINNER** OK 9 DEC - but lunch also ok lah if more ppl want that?

2. geri - prefers 8 Dec lunch, 9 dec preferably not

3. choc - ok for lunch...

4. pootz

5. princess 31

6. Rachel

7. Joodz

8. Wish Child - lunch or dinner both can

9. C Nicole - ok for both lunch or dinner

10. trinket - lunch can, dinner cannot. 8 or 9 dec lunch also can

11. Blue Potatochips

12. Unicorn (9th Dec - Lunch ok, dinner can't)

13. MummyFiz

14. Eviangal - ok for both 8 and 9 dec lunch

15 kinderbueno - ok with both lunch or dinner

16 Baywater

 
felpoo...ur MIL too much leh..must tell ur hubby about this... else must tell her off straight... how come she say such things about u...



huh..when she passed away she wan the ex-wife to diao xiao...ask her go die lar.. (sorry ah..i very angry if i am in ur shoe...) what is she thinking...

next round record down her conversation n play back to ur hubby..show him concrete proof of her badmouthing u... see how she deny when got recorded video/voice clip

 
wish child



okie... everyone else on the list try to vote soon k? We try to settle date and time by Mon going by majority votes! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
@Geri: But putting on 2kg within a week is like no joke le. think I should tell my gynae about it on Monday..



@Ah Ching: Was just wondering only coz if bb is too big also v hard to give birth naturally.



@Charmaine: It's normal for a boy to be angry when mistaken for a girl. Haha.. I'm glad that all is well and since your gynae said it's ok then don't worry too much. But remember to rest more and do (house chores) less.



@felpoo: I do feel for you bcoz my MIL also keeps in contact with my hubby's ex and I did voice out to my hubby that I'm not v happy about it bcoz I do not like the idea of his ex knowing how we've been as a couple and all this. But my hubby is right to say that we got no control over his mum so we just let it be lor. The ex even invited my MIL to her place or out for meals at times but luckily all this have kind of stopped as time pass though they still contact each other at times.

 
I'm feeling quite sad that I'm unable to go to the Parenthood Fair as hubby will be working on these 2 days and will be busy on Sunday.. For those who went or who are going, please update good buys/deals here so that if it's really worth going, I'll try to persuade hubby to go with me on sunday morning.. :p

 
Zanta, personally, I don't have any bad feelings towards the ex-wife as she's quite ok. I didn't forbid my hubby to talk or see her as I feel that no matter what, they were husband and wife before and they parted with no animosity between them. My MIL and SILs do still keep in contact with her but I don't bother as this is their own business. You know, even CNY get together dinner, my SIL still invited her as a family and we had dinner together. It was really very awkward. Sometimes, I just wondered how should I explain this type of relationship to my children when they grow up.



Choc, this didn't happen once and each time when it happened, I always told myself must record. But you know sometimes it just caught you unawares and you just stood there frozen not knowing what to do and say.



Trinket, yeah you are right. My FIL passed away and you know my MIL told me that her (MIL) sisters were saying that I was the one who "ke si" my FIL as I married in not long ago.

 
Pootz, hv u seen yr gynae? Blood might be frm the piles or out frm the vagina coz we will exert force when do biz. I will get more brownish discharge after do biz too coz exert force. Pls take care and update us yr condition.



Felpoo, i won't tell my hubby if I were u coz that will only sandwiched him btw me n his mum. I will just act blur if I heard her badmouthing me to whoever she like coz mouth is hers. I can't control anyway. I will psycho myself tat maybe she's just a kpo, big mouth old lady who always can't stop complaining. BUT I WILL NOT tolerate if she's badmouthing me IN FRONT of my children. I will definitely tell her to badmouth me elsewhere but not in my children's presence coz it's going to reflect very badly of u on yr children and they may grow up thinking their mother is really as bad as wat yr mil always complained. Moreover u mentioned that yr mil is always badmouthing u to other pple. I will not hesitate to move out if my mil continues with this badmouthing of me in front of my children, despite my repeated warnings. Sorry if I sound harsh but this is wat I will do if I'm u. Children are afterall children and at such young age, they absorb v quickly wat's exposed to them so I will not take this risk.

 
Fei Poo-



After reading on... Haiz. Like u say lor... maybe best is just one ear in and one ear out.



She has obviously decided to blame you for all kinds of rubbish - your hubby's failed marriage, your FIL's untimely passing... This kind of pantang and unreasonable thinking is hard to change. She seems like quite the emotional blackmailer. =p



What is diao xiao? Sorry I am very blur about cheena terms. Is it she want her to be the chief mourner with your son instead of your place or what?



Mmm... I agree it would be better not to live under the same roof as her, but in this case, seems like no choice.



What doesn't kill you makes you stronger as the saying goes. My MIL had a very very difficult MIL which is why she doesn't want to be that way to her kids' spouses. She really had such a hard time but she still blossomed and was gracious despite all the hardship. We all love her lots and everyone has nothing but respect and admiration for her.



These few years might be tough, but as the saying "and this too shall pass".



Instead of thinking of the WHAT IFs, just focus on happy thoughts for now.



As you can see, stressing out and feeling bitter changes nothing in this situation, so best to let go of those negative feelings lor. Dun let the bitterness and anger take root in your heart. It can really cloud every other blessing you have in your life. HUGS!



As long as hubby sayangs you and the kids too, heck care the rest lah huh? =)



Ur hubby seems to be btw a rock and a hard place too. Support each other through this ordeal and try to let it be a stepping stone and not a stumbling block in your marriage. I am sure going through this and loving each other passionately regardless, and staying strong in the bond of love will only make your marriage a firm one.



U have us to let off steam to. Once let off steam le, don't go think about it k?



Cuddles!

 
felpoo



u have quite a good rlp with your SIL right? you always pick up yr kid from her place?



maybe you can share with her, and she can help 'manage' her mother a bit, like scold her in a way only her own daughter can, to ask her to be more reasonable etc. and perhaps convince her that you are not all that bad, and that she should give you a chance.

 
Trinket-



Is it a good idea at all to involve the SILs?



Might complicate matters leh.

 
hi ladies...i have not come in here for a long long while..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



just a question: wat brand of baby laundry detergent do u use to wash baby clothes and diapers?

 
felpoo: i feel that you're being emotionally abused..

sigh, wish u could come up with a solution rather than 'ni lai shun shou'.

over the long run may not be healthy for your emotional wellbeing.



u should seriously consider doing confinement at your mum's place to avoid any conflicts during such an emotional time for us..

let your MIL miss u and her grandson, maybe she'll treat u better after that.

also your HB will be spending more time with u at your mum place then less time with your MIL..

let your MIL wake up her stupid idea that she can be so abusive otherwise she'll become a lonely woman.



i really cannot stand your MIL! No matter how muc I love my HB, I dont think I will allow myself to go thru this kinda mental torture!

 
ARGH



Just took on a rush job.



Basically I didn't know they need it by NOON TOMORROW... sighs.



Hubby gai xiao me to his client then I thought they need it by next week... but turns out they need it by tmrw. T.T



Bor bian. Bite bullet and cheong ah!

 
felpoo: btw if you are on good terms with the ex.. cant u tell her to 'leave' your family alone.

Ask her to put herself in your shoes mah..



i guess cos u never show your displeasure that's why end up this situation.. since MIL always got another DIL to 'go to'.

 
nm-



I am using those laundry balls with ceramic tiny balls inside for some of my clothes right now (Kae's stuff and my delicates)and will try it with the diapers. My aunt bought them for me. =)



I also going to try Amway's SA8 laundry powder as well this time... I use it for my laundry at the moment (hubby's shirts).



Whichever works best btw the two, I will stick to it. =)



With Kae, we used to use Kodomo but it doesnt remove stains well altho'it smells very nice ^.^ My mum used ABD from Pureen... I find it so-so. These 2 are the common brands people use for their baby's stuff.



I add baking soda to my wash from time to time, and was wondering if we could do that with babies' stuff. I find soaking my dish clothes in baking soda overnight really gets the stains out very effectively.



So surfed online and found this suggestion:



To wash dirty cloth nappies in an eco-friendly way, soak them in a solution of water and baking soda for at least 6-8 hours or overnight. Baking soda helps to neutralize the odors and also, brightens and whitens the diaper.



Wash them as usual, following it up with the rinse cycle to which ½ cup of vinegar has been added. Do remember to add the vinegar if you’ve used baking soda to soak the diapers since vinegar helps to neutralize the pH levels and keep away diaper rash. Line dry or air dry the nappies once they’re rinsed and clean.



To get rid of mouldy black dots on material:



Soak in bleach and white vinegar, then rinse it well. =)

 
Ah Ching-



Sounds easy to execute when we give her suggestions, but Fei Poo also has to feel her way through the current predicament with each conflict.



But FP, we are behind u ya? So jia you.



Go to ur mum's for confinement lah... now just tahan but confinement, let your mum take care of u and pamper u. U dun need the added stress of trying to handle the baby, your girl, and ur MIL.

 
Re: bath tog

I jus strip him n myself naked in our room then towel wrap him n walk to bathroom....then i make sure i bathe 1st while he play wif his rubber ducky....then i use kodomo to bath him n wash his hair...i personally like the smell...



Geri: maybe one day he might reject me too...but meanwhile tat wat i can do if nt i dun nid to bath until my hubby is home...



Felpoo: heck care ur mil la...i hate my mil too...totally heck care abt my hubby n grandson...i m even telling hubby tat cny eve reunion lunch i m nt gg back cuz of low placenta or gg to deliver scare anytime pop...cuz i also dun wan kaiden to eat her food...the way she cook is so unhygiene...she is jus a lazy hsewife but as long as she dun bug us...i m fine

 
baby detergent... i am using kodomo baby detergent..smell beri nice!! can consider using...



geri..dai xiao means at a funeral hor..got put that duno wat color patch on ur clothing one to represent the "rank" and status of urself in the family... that one lor

 
Re: parenthood fair



Nothing much to buy for me...thr is pigeon n avent...huggies pampers price same as ck or sheng siong....not much clothes shop...mostly ntuc, cordlife,prudential n alot of kids vcd/dvd shop...



Maybe for new 1st time mummies worth to go...but not for me

 
Cheyanne-



Hehe. Kae did the "rejection" thing around 3... so still got time lah. =) After he "rejected" I had to bath him with my clothes on lor. But bathing him is really fast. I didn't let him play too much, I got him to play outside of bath. Lol.



By 4+ he was showering on his own. Now he has his "science experiment" set of test tubes and what not and plastic syringe in the bathroom that he plays with on days that I give the ok to take longer in the shower (usually the warmer days). He will block up the hole and create his own "splash pool" on those days. Haiz.



Otherwise I usually give him 4 mins to shower, wash hair, towel and get out of the bathroom. Hahaha. I make it sound like Amazing Race when I give that kind of timing.



Choc-



Ok. So that's what I suspected.



Wah quite unreasonable leh. The ex already divorced le so considered "outside" le. If still ask her to DX, not nice leh. =(



FP, will ur hubby acede to that request or have your parents settled that issue with ur MIL and ur hubby? If need be, for this issue, ur parents should step in to put their foot down IMHO.

 
Chey-



Yea. I'd rather go Sitex hahaha but then we have what we need le IT wise as well.



So prob go paktor instead wahahaha. Kae will be at my parents' place during the weekend. =D

 
i guess i also be giving the fair a miss...coz i also got most of my stuffs liao...



talking about facebook... here is mine... abit slow ah me on facebook =D



http://www.facebook.com/#!/tge25

do let me know who u are too k...else i also blur

 
Choc- added u too! =D





Shall we set up a FB group for those of us who added each other on FB? Easier to keep track of who is who that way! ^.^



I am a real sotong right now and becoz we all use our real names on FB instead of our monikers online, I am having trouble telling who is who to for some folks. Hahaha.



U all should know me la... I put photo here lah hahaha then use my real name (Geri is what everyone calls me in real life... when I hear Geraldine, I cringe hahaha)

 
Hi,



I have a preloved Ameda Lactaline Dual Electri Breastpump (BPA free) for sale. Still under warranty (warranty date start from 22nd July 10). Only use for 1 month cause I give up giving BM after 1 mth.



Price: $280



Do email me if interested at [email protected].



Thanks.

 
Joodz:



Oh! Cool! =D

Lol. Maybe better to port over there for topics that are more "sensitive". Lol. More privacy mah hahaha.



Trinket:



Ok! Will go check now! =D

 
Yay!



Ok I have uploaded some of those lists (hospital bag packing lists by the various mummies, stuff to buy for baby list, laundry tips) on to the FB Grp's documents so u can easily open them there instead of hunting through the forum. =)

 
cheyanne, me also SAHM cuz no choice. my parents are both working. my mil pass away liao. so one can help. dun want to place with infant care or maid.. me also staying with my parents now as my BTO will only complete in 3yrs time...



me still havent decide whether to give no.2 sarong anot. hubby dun really like sarong cuz its difficult to bring them out when they'll bigger. will start from playpen(gave my cot away liao) and netted rocker and see how.



felpoo, you must be having a hard time! why your mil like the ex wife so much? pass away still let her 'dai xiao'.. then where is your position in the family?!



there's feb mtb in fb? i go join... hehehe

 
Sigh.. Dun worry.. Mummies.. Will take a step at a time. What to do? 见机行事.



I m a klutz in Facebook.. How to find feb MTB? I might join you guys in the gathering if time and energy permits me. Do I need to put my name inside the list though?

 
felpoo



i fully understand how you feel cos i have the same kind of pil!!!



they nvr like me fr the start fr when courted. She always bad mouth abt me. We stayed with them for a yr bef we moved out again this sep. She sees nothing good abt me. and even bad mouth to my maid. She is generally a kind person but they just does not like me.



Things they complained abt me:

-lazy (even bef i got preg and now)

-now sahm, also comment lazy only eat zzz etc. but always brag and praise my ger to others. Ever wonder how can a lazy mum produce a smart ger?!

-Said i nvr help in doing housework. Lazy in short. i got a maid why do housework. the purpose of me sahm is to educate the child and if i am to fight with the maid to do housework, why i hire her and i might as well go back to work n put my ger in good childcare!

-complain to pple and my maid that we are picky eater when the fact is they are actually the one. The maid told us when we moved out and she cooks for us.

-She listens to the maid more than me. things i told her to improve on she not happy. maid tells her and she tried and praises her.

-Telling pple i cant do housework & cook (same lah, lazy, good for nothing). but in fact i think i cook better than her thou i dont hands on alot. and if i dont know how to cook, before we moved in with them who taught the maid to cook singapore food?!

-pil said why i dont go out and work. hidden meaning is (lazy) i tired his son... selfish right. anw it is a family decision leh.

-his son falls sick also my fault! said i nvr take care of him and bring him go shopping. and maid was there when they said. the fact is his son always cant stay home and wkn must go out and i am the one who wish to stay home. only the maid knows cause she has eyes. They should know their son better and always point the fault as me.

-fil commented that raising a child is not easy. i shot back once and said, yah now then you know ah. he said what do you mean by that, we knew long ago. I said, but now raising a kid is much more diff. having to send for classes and come back still haf to practise with them. in my mind i was like yayaya you know but when you bad mouth abt me and wanna critics me do you think that way that i am a sahm and raising my kid!



blah blah blah too much. in short they always pinpoint on the person and not the matter.

 
i told hubby i wanna move out bef i have a 2nd one. and lucky we moved out.



when my hubby sided me, fil will said ya you always defend your wife. said i always complain to my hubby. my hubby ever told them off saying if my wife talk to me abt things happening at home is complaining then aint mum (his mum) also doing the same thing! they speechless. it was hell staying there. every now and then got wars.

 
Felpoo, Yap long time never saw Valeria post. Maybe she busy nowadays?

Felpoo as all mommies said just hack care ur mil even thought is difficult. As Lot ppls said is easy to be together but is difficult to stay together. Hope ur mil won't give u more trouble when u have ur confinment. =)

 
Hi haven loggin for a long time.



Geri, did you take the photos yrself or you got those professional to take for you? Also thanks for the tips on laundry, will try that! hee



Felpoo and Reverie, try not to think too much ya. Rem our mood will affect our bb, so try to stay positive and smiley! =)



It's a great idea to create a Feb Mum in FB. Can someone send the link?

 
Feb MTB FB grp:

It's a closed grp set up my cnicole so I don't think u can find it via search function. Whoever is inside the grp can invite others though. I've invited a few but haven't had time to trawl through the thread to see who else have left their Facebook emails here.



Btw, omg I thought I didn't have stretch marks, but I do!! They look so horrible I feel like crying.

 
geri, i just added u in FB!



Thanks Joodz. Try to apply stretchmark cream day and night!What your email add, add you in FB?



anyone has just started attending Mrs wong class?

 
Dear mummies,



long time din pop in..

time flies, less than 3 mths we will meet the baby. =)



Would like to join the gathering but have to see gynae on wed.



Geri & felpoo, try not to affected by mums. I have both nasty mum n mil. Luckily I dont stay wif inlaw as I wear very short at home. I foresee she will bad mouth me.. =P this is the reason also i din give her my home key. need to tahan her acts for not giving her the keys also.

even before i got married, she alr said I am very lazy to all aunties.

at work, even my HOD ban me from doing OT as I am pregnant. and comment from bosses is i am an outstanding employee. so, based on what she says i am lazy???



My #01 is like ah ching one - 17mths. it is very difficult to handle everything. stress at work, #01 to handle. So, I ignore everything (my mil n her sisters' bad mouthing) at home. housework wise, I get a PT cleaner to clean the house.



i got depression during 1st confinement with the things my mil n aunties had done to me.

So, please prepare and not hurt by anyone n take good care of yourself.



Hope every mummy just focus on taking care of yourself and ignore the "noise"



Cheers!!!

 
Ping Ping-



Hugs. =)



Actually this time already not so bad le lah.



When I expected my firstborn, it was out of wedlock, so it was a lot harder on me emotionally to be honest.

 

Terrylyn- My friends are photographers =) So they took it for me at their studio. I gave some suggestions and we bounced off ideas, and came up with these. They then passed me the RAW file and I converted and did my own digital imaging. ^.^

 
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