(2009/08) August 2009 MTBs

yes agree with smurfy, different method work on different children even our own children cannot totally adopt same method because both of them got different character..
 


Smurfy

agree with u. I think if I have gals, I won't need to resort to the cane so much. Altho my gal misbehave, she doesn't subject herself to as much danger as my boy. Now I've been sending her to her noti corner coz she has been hitting all of us.

Lizz
it was really bad with the meds for my boy till we were even interviewed in a magazine for his resistance against meds. Now that he has grown older, he has learnt to accept it. So now that he needs to take daily jabs, we explained to him and he accepted and is enthusiastic abt it. When he needs to be nebulized, he will hold it himself. For my gal, it was easier.
We just put the med in the cup and she drinks it.

Sometimes I wish it was much easier in parenting my kids. I also wish I can just talk to them and they will grow well and behave. That they listen to reason and I don't have to tell them to do homework and learn tests by themselves. But the truth is I didn't get such easy children. I didn't get self motivated children who strives in excel in everything. I get a kid who gives up easily when he is not good at it. I need to give lots of encouragement and praise. Also I need to hand out lots of punishment. I also don't enjoy doing that but I have to.
 
fatbobo: Me too... we started a joint account the first year we were married and end up not using it at all! We decided to close the account last year... hehehe... i think we earn a few dollars of interest though... hahahha
 
mashy,
I placed alot on honesty too! I told my boy if he declare his naughty acts to me truthfully he will not be punish as bad if I discovered he lied to me . And so far he really has not lie... e.g. I told him he cannot eat anything after he brush teeth at night, so he saw my husband eating snack and my husband were telling him eat afew pieces lor. He tell my husband outright "mummy said cannot eat after brush teeth" haha..
 
mashy,
your children will grow to be more sensible and your life will be easier!
happy.gif
 
liz:: bahaha~ nw we juz waiting for the account to be closed on its own.. aft mths of deduction for the 'fine' for balance less than $500! LOL~
 
mashy

Er.. dun think it's a childcare. it's just a playgroup/kindy. On the left side of the HSR bldg right?

Hiaz.. dilemma. Montessori or not? I need to go read up more

celine

Wah liew, I think I dun wanna come to this thread liao. Every now & then kena banged on the head or bashed in the face. First by pegsfur, now by you hahha. Just kidding lah.

Oic. Ok ok.. all belong to the right brain thing. Classified like that, it's much easier to understand & keep track of all these enrichments.

Re: Joint Acct & Paying for Expenses

Hubs & I used to contribute abt equal amts to the joint acct to pay for things like service/conservancy, carpark, etc. But after I became a SAHM, Hubs became 'sole breadwinner', but I topped up a bit coz his income isn't that high.

Now that I'm back at work, I pay the maids salary & her levy, and sometimes stuff that I get for my boy.. eg the Zoo membership, or sometimes when I buy small groceries for the hse, I dun claim. Hubs pays for the carpark, utilities, big grocery shopping trips like major buys at NTUC, etc.

So I guess we can say that our contribution is abt roughly equal? Coz our income is also abt the same - seemes quite fair to me.

I still maintain my own acct coz I dun wanna account for things that I buy for myself.

As for savings.. er I think financial planners recommended 30%. But things like insurance investments, savings plan etc are included. Not possible to put 30% cash into POSB acct lah haha!
 
Celine

very gd. Haha. Your eg reminds me that we do all the teaching and our hb undo everything we teach. They are so lax and makes our job harder. When my boy was very young, I taught him to keep his shoes in the cabinet after he comes home. He will do that whenever he comes home with me. Then my hb just throw his shoes around and let my boy do the same. Argh.

When he was young, I also let him learn to self feed. Then my hb says aiyah, how long can we feed him and refused to let go of the spoon. He later regretted his words coz my boy got so dependent on being fed that he's fed in cc too!
 
'Disciplining' Kids

Aiyah.. why such serious & difficult topics on Monday am?

It's terribly confusing to decide what to do. Diff kids need diff methods. No matter how many books we read, or how much well-meaning advice we recive, we can only muddle along ourselves & pray that we dun mess up big time.

I've learned that lesson now after being a parent for 17+ mths. No such thing as best method or even expert method. Nowadays I ask ard.. take in feedback.. process myself, & muddle along. I think when I take it easier, Sam is much happier being with me & I enjoy my time with him more. And his behaviour seems to have improved. At least he's no longer hitting me *yippee* On the rare occasions when he raises his hand, I can manage to stop him. Sucess!

Ok move on to the next challenge.. hahaha
 
jul,
yes you will kena "bong" by us if you keep saying ATAS!
angry.gif


mashy,
yes my husband is getting on my nerve recently trying to undo all my strict teachings!! Just yesterday night, I asked all to go bed early but both my #1 and my hb got to "fight" on the bed and they shout and yell make me give them a bashing as they are so noisy might wake my #2 up!!!

I only agreed with your husband one thing - to carry them if they want us to carry. Because I am thinking "how long can we carry them" heehee
 
mashy

For my case, it isn't my hubs, but the grandparents!

Hubs normally will support whatever approach I want, if I am insistent on it. If I have no idea, or am open to sugegstions, we discuss it, then act consistently to what we agree on.
 
Fatbobo: should close the account and get whatever you can back... hehehe

Celine: Sometimes the hubby are just like that! Mine too... But i find it funny sometimes when my girl will just tell him the proper things to do! hehe

Jul: I totally agree with you! I was soooooo confused when i was a first parent... i can read like 10 books and they are contradicting each other...

But i think at the end of the day, if we are happy and relaxed... the kid properly would...
happy.gif
 
liz:: the hassle of gg to the bank... u noe wat i mean? if oni it can be done electronically.... (hmmm, prolly can trf the money out..den leave $1 for the bank to 'eat'!) haha.
 
liz

I must say I haven;t read any book except the one by James C Dobson "The Strong-willed Child". Roughly skimmed through the book but dunno if I can retain the info. Think I shd check out the "Bringing up boys" book. Just to get some tips.

Yeah lor, now that I'm not so uptight, I can see an improvement in my reln with Sam. Can't rem if I shared beofre, or if you can deduce from my posts, but we don't have the best of relns. It certainly wasn't what I envisioned when I was first preggie. The type of guai-guai son who is strong & active & cheerful, but knows to sit down quietly for his meals & not disturb mummy when she is in the cafe with her late lunch & a gd book on her no pay leave. Duh uh!!! LMAO
 
celine

Yeah I think my skin itch itch today.. very tired coz not enough sleep haha

babys

Erm.. why not u try? I think I need hard boiled egg to nurse my orh che
 
Mich

The 1.5k is only for household matters.
Electrical bills and some insurances, including kids.
But for buying of house things like necessities and milk powder, diapers etc, use our own $$. But I don pay, I ask my hubby pay. Cos he earn more than me.

But I don like the idea of all putting into the Jacct than consulting hubby. Arrrggg.. cos we both are earning $$ right? Cos I always buy what I want.

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Pegsfur

Wa.. so good ah? I contribute leh. Sian. So I was getting survey. You know, some of my friends, share, some all paid by hubby. Mostly are the 2nd one. Only grocery is shared. Hehe.. if become housewife, must claim every single cents. I don kw if I can become housewife cos I don like being controlled on the $$ issue.

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Piggytoh

What happen to you boy?
Is he alright? Recently there is a lot of cases of flu. So a lot of ppl kana. I last tue also kana. Whole body ache till Thurs. than some more keep on cold. Friday than better. Than started to have a bit of throat pain. But today ok liao le. Haha.. I drink apple cidar vinegar.

The jacct is to buy hse stuff, pay utilities, vacation and etc lor. All for houses matter.
But my hubby think can still use his own $$ buy other hse stuff. Cos if keep on using later no $$$ inside cannot go vacation. But I want to stop putting cos I giving my mum 700 per mth now. Broke wor...

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Kids matter

I don what what is the issue about. But I have been teaching my boy cannot this cannot that.
He actually likes to bang his head but recently hes getting better after I keep hitting his palm.
He cried but at least he learnt. And yesterday he use a colour pencil to draw one side of the wall with my hubby arnd him. Alamak. He didn teach him cannot. Than no choice, I jst tel him, if he wants to draw only can draw that side of the wall and he really draw there only. He tried to go other side but I said no and he jst stay at that side. So probably I will need repainting on that small area.

But I do believe in teach them when very young. There is a saying "SAN1 SUI4 DING4 BA1 SHI2"
 
Celine: you are not alone... hahaha

bobo: should take this opportunity to go to the bank and draw out in new dollars for CNY!

Jul: I get you... that was somewhat my envision when i was preg with #1... i always bring my kid to library so i will borrow those parenting books and read... Got fed up after a while cos diff books has diff views and etc.

hehe
 
Babys

That’s what we are doing also for the household matter.
Hmm...but my hubby is earning more. So I was thinking of not contributing liao le as I have to give my mother add of 700 per mth..

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RE: MAID SALARY

I haven get a maid yet and are planning.
But not all maids are that good as I heard from some of my friends. If those got complaints still need to pay so high than might as well spore government let those low income family work 9-6pm in a family better right and pay 500? I would prefer that. I meant should take care of sporean first ba.
Where can I suggest that? Cos there are some ppl who cannot even find job wor.


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Smurfy

I contribute to my own family and house 50% of my net salary. Sian. Heheh.. so how to survive wor. Haha..
Ya all hse also under my name. so everything use my name. jacct also under my name.
My hubby saving also under my name. cos he lazy to open an acct. one thing is that I cant save. He can wor.

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Joeey,

That’s is what im facing right now although I have 1 boy only.
You know I was like since he earn more, maybe he can manage w/o me as im giving 700 to my mother. That means total 1200 liao le gone including 500 to joint acct. Than I cant spend much and cant save. Like you, I can fully understand. No personal saving is a big upset.

I don want to become "YUE4 GUANG1 ZHU2"
Meaning end of month empty. Haizyo..
Now I start the MSA account with OCBC everymth auto save some.

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Donkeymami

You are lucky. I think some have headache about this planning stuff. Haha..
Jst like me la..
 
bobo, sbb: how about opening up those monthly savings account/ save as u earn kind of account? where the bank will auto deduct a amt from ur account monthly?

like ocbc has one, u can ask them to like deduct $100 from ur bank acct, one the day after ur payday. U dont need to do anything.. then got savings liao lor..
 
ask u all ah,

if i go bank now but for other bank transactions, will i have to wait long ah, or the queue for pple to change notes is the same general queue?
 
Sbb

I also think 'san Sui ding Zhong shen'. Altho I've seen many boys who were very noti when young grow up well, I think better be safe. If can teach now, better do now. When they are older, a lot gotta do with good peer influence.
 
babyS:: i tried the SAYE acc with POSB before... CANT.. cos normally my spending is to omoz the last cent de.. den like my spending pattern is one mth lesser..the other mth gone case. n omoz 95% is so-call fixed expenses kind. so i really dun hv spare to put aside. wat happened to my previous SAYE acc was dat after 2 mths.. i had to close it..n ya, along with the pre-mature closure......i got charged quite an amt for service fee!
 
fatbobo
i put aside money for savings immediately when my pays comes in.. and i will try not to touch that acct. if not enough money for that month, get frm hb kekkee.. or borrow frm that acct. but pay back immediately when my next pay comes up, on top of what is set for the savings.
 
bobo, cos the trick to saving is to adopt a "PAY MYSELF" technique first b4 u go and spend it, bills etc.

So if ur payday is on the 25th, schedule ur SAYE to deduct on payday itself or the day after. Mine is deducted on the day after payday, just in case any screw up and my pay is not in on payday.

Then how about a smaller amt then? $50 can?
 
smurfy:: i tried n used to do dat before.. at least a $50 aside.. if the previous mth's credit card expenses not that high..den i will put aside $100-$200. but hor.. after my pregnancy.. the pre-natal check-ups n all.....my savings almost zilch off....n till now.. not able to replenish liao! hahaha. haiya..i ren ming le, paying 'debts' to my girls.

im not used to asking money frm hb... dun wana like 'owe' him anything. if he wana buy anything for me..i will accept la.. but i will not ask him to buy me anything..unless for the hse use de. heheh.. it's juz me la..im not used to doing dat! dat's y i will spend to my last cent kind lor..cos if i wana get anything 'extra'..i will use my own earnings to buy.. else, dun buy lor.

i noe the importance of savings.. especially for a woman.. hehe. but at this moment.. i really cant afford to. i oso hv been telling myself, shld try to 'regain' the savings habit.. so at least for the next pregnancy.. i can afford the ob-gynae package/hospitalisation. yeah..cm to tink of it.. i shld start le.... (my dragon-baby plan is nearing... hooooo~)
 
babyS:: really cant make it de.. like those SAYE acc.. the committment is 2yrs..or 1yr at least...
mostly nearing the end of the mth (before the payday..mine is on 25th).. i already need to borrow money frm frens le.
(bahaha~ i juz borrowed $200 frm colleague oso..)..
i noe my abilities.. i cant afford to force save de. cos most of the months.. i 'need' to spend to the last cent!!
 
fatbobo
u can lar. just control control control.. kekee i dun have a SAYE acct. i have normal acct onli. so in a way, i can "borrow" my own money to tide it over..

and to help accelerate that acct. if i go kopitiam for dinner instead of a rest. i will put the extra cash not used to the saving acct. :p

i guess end of the day it's the conscious effort
 
smurfy:: hehe.. prolly is really because i dun earn alot... i hardly shop for clothes, i oni hv 1 or 2 bags (i dun normally buy bags).. even shoes..i oso dun buy regularly kind. im not a shopping person! sm stuffs, i like buy once a year kind.. hahaha.. which is for CNY. i dun buy jewelary, i dun wear watch, i dun go beauty salon do facial or hv any spa packages!!!

tink i spend alot on my girls. as like.. their diapers, milk powder n smtimes their clothes or wat.. one time buy 2.. can be quite shiong. but i hfta get 2, no way to share or hand-me-down!

smtimes i oso wonder whr all my money gone to! LOL~
 
fatbobo
use an excel spreadsheet to track your daily, monthly expenses... get things clear up for the next few months n u will see where ur money goes to. i oso, onli buy things for my kids, not so much for myself.
 
fatbobo, ur case really vy tough hor..prolly u need to review ur life style le? like wat smurfy said eat hawker & foodscourt instead of restaurant? borrow $ from colleague? meaning u spent more than u earned woh?
 
babys:: haha.. no lar.. cos my frens mostly not married.. or married oso recently hv bb.. mostly boys (n younger).. oni 1 girl..but oso younger than my girls. i can hand down to her.. but no one to hand down to us.

in family.. no cousins relative ard same age.. oh yes, my cousins juz had bb gal.. but oso nov 09 de. oso younger!!

smurfy/donkey:: i dun normally go restaurant eat de. smtimes i rather eat da bao or char siew bao or wat..not for diet sake..but cos it's cheaper lor.. less than $2.. den aft dat tea-time take cookies frm pantry! hehehe. actually i find foodcourt food oso expensive lor! i will owas look for the cheapest..n most value for money food to buy.. end up, i owas duno wat to eat!

this 2 mths expenses abit high la.. cos bought cny clothes n undergarments mah. my sis gg for xchg prog in korea for 5-6mths, leaving tmr nite.. so i tot chg sm Won n give her an ang bao.. n insurances deducting these 2 days.. salary oni in tonite.. so ya.. hfta borro frm colleague.


oh.. i tink my main 'expenses' is insurance. ya.. i dun even noe exact amt..cos deduct by giro.. but i guess ard or at least 10% of my salary bah. ya, muz be insurance!!!
 
fat bobo
for the start, i track my expenses until very jialat.. almost everyday.. now after a few months.. things getting easier oredi. so happy tat i took the 1st move.
happy.gif
now see whether got more money to squeeze and put inside savings or not kekeeke.

i think last time ur case is coz u got 2 maids. :p
 
ya.. the advanture of hw my savings went missing n never ever to be regained! bahaha~

(btw.. my hb oso buey tahan the advanture boy. both my sis were at hort park one day n saw advanture boy's filming there.. they tot were some sch project n cldnt stop laughing whn told them dat's advanture boy!!!)

oh.. cmg back.. yup, i did managed to save like $1-2k couple of yrs back.. den wipe out aft my high-risk-twin-pregnancy. then came all the confinement n other milk, diapers, etc.. then 2 maids..(but was juz the maid levy part.. haha..rmbr there was 1-2mths when i owe CPF money cos they were not able to deduct the levy frm my ac.. hahaha!).. yup.. then..never able to rebuild le.

ok.. i will try to save alittle.. even $50 oso good..... else, ya.. really jialat.
 
yeah $50 better than nothing..

then dont close the account even if u run out of cash for a few months. Even if u dont have the monthly $50 deduction, if u are going to overspend, this $50 isnt going to be enuf for u to spend also.

the ocbc guy tell me can close the monthly savings acct at 6- 12 months, no penalty..
 
nah.. i wun go open another ac.. actually my main ac is POSB (salary credit n expenses).. but i hv UOB oso, but it's oso juz maintain min balance..n for me to trf $ in to pay credit card niah. prolly i can try to slowly build up frm there.. will try la.
 
Babys
Im doing that right now lor.
But jst nw go and withdraw for CNY haha.. than ocbc tells me I have to close the acct all and reopen again.
They said cannot partial withdraw wor. I think POSB is better.

Maybe I should open POSB too.

Babys
General queue leh. But I working at bugis.
Jst nw I go suntec have lunch with my friend, OCBC no ppl. Haha..
If POSB got ppl but also not so much as compared to those neighborhood one.

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Mashy

Ya lor. Hahaa.. same teaching than. Hehe.. but hopefully the peer pressure is not so bad than.
U know one day, I was talking with my colleagues that next time don kw how youngster reacts to sexuality.
Was worried that next time is other way round, woman more open than guys and chasing them around. Haha...

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Fatbobo

U also YUE GUANG ZHU ah? Haha.. spend till single cents??
I have this MSA OCBC for 6mths than I closed it jst now. I only wan partial but they said cannot. I'm going to open another one with POSB ba.

===========================

Smurfy

I did the same thing also la..
U know I got a friend very funny, she and her that time bf said open jacct, than she had the card. They put in same amount and she spend every single cents. Hahaa...

But I got a guy friend who is very good, his gf didn work before wor.. know y, cos he gave her every mth 1k now I think more. Than bonus give her bonus also. Than every time branded stuff. Alamak.. my this guy keep on working so no time for gf too. Maybe give her $$ also.
 
SBB: U mean the ocbc opposite Bugis junction? They dont have new notes for change... i went there last week and apparently they have very little new notes... But the UOB at Bras Basah is very short Q... can try there if you guys need to change notes...
 
Celine

I also planning to send my son to Cherie hearts at Jalan Mata Ayer there.
You are planning to send him to which location?
Not yet send yet.

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Fatbobo

U very funny leh. Me too not used to asking fm hubby things. But I mostly ask him to pay. Haha..
Don care liao le after broke. Now I learning to save $$ haha... so hopefully next time I got $$ also liao. Yahoo..

But those diapers, milk powder etc, I think ask yr hubby buy. Cos frankly speaking, guys huh, once get used to it, next time they won pay and feel the pinch. Like that hor.. is like you are supporting your girls wor. Kids stuff are more expensive wor.

But jia you.. keep on saving 50per mth. Try not to borrow la.. if really must borrow, borrow from good friends.
My colleague here not bad, sometimes they treat me makan. Haha..

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Fatbobo

Ya my friend is manager level la..
He got $$. Bonus a lot ok and he is my good friend la. Haha...i wish I have this kind of bf. Haha.. but he is not chinese. Pity. Haha..

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Liz

No no.. the one at suntec level 1.
Suntec not much ppl. I think mostly is shopping and working area.
 


sbb:: mostly diapers/milk powder he take care..n their other stuffs too... but smtimes i will still buy tings for my girls.. like vitamins, toothpaste..etc. hehehe.

when i buy my tings. i wun ask him to pay for me oso.. but if he offer or insist.. of cos im more than happy to accept. lol~ but smtimes oso depends on wat tings.. like dat time aft delivery.. my rings r all tight le.. den he trade-in my destiny ring n upgrade (can oni upgrade mah)..to another one.. i dun really prefer him to spend money on such la. hehe.. cos im more a practical person..not material.... so i rather the amt of money spend on necessity lor!! hehe.

he's expenses oso high la..he oso no savings kind de. (i tink he even worse than me!) so, i dun wana over stress him over the household..then kids..den even need to spend on wife..(wife is oso working mah).

hehe.. kids oso mine mah.. so rightful i splurge on them. kids not juz his responsibilities. normally he will settle the bills.. so small items, i will offer to pay lor.

aiya.. nvm la.. hb & wife.. give n take lor. hehehe~ dun wan latr ah.. bcos of money quarrel ah.. den will b ugly liao le! unless he's like yr fren.. mgr lvl, earn big money..big bonus kind la.. den im sure he will make sure i dun spend anything on household de... cos he's quite an egoistic man de.. (he NEVER ever like me to borrow money frm anyone..even my closest buddy de! so if i need, usually is secretly behind his back. hehe)
 

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