(2009/08) August 2009 MTBs

Hi pegsfur,

your husb said the same thing as my husb ( abt want to see bb everyday, wan to be part of bb 's growing life) when i said i wan to leave my bb under the care of my mum to take care until every fri, then bring bb home.

i said, it will be very tiring for both of us to wake up middle of the nite to take care of bb when i go back to work.
So, he rather find a nearby nanny( at Bukit batok area) to take care from morning to evening, instead of my mum(at amk) .
But from how i see it, this does not solve the problem of having to wake up middle of the nite. I also feel more reassured if my mum is the care-giver. Til now, we also haben settle this issue.

His stand is find a nearby nanny, everyday bring bb home. My stand is let my mum take care, weekdays we can go over see bb, every fri then bring bb home.

*haiz.........* i also feel so troubled by this, but i dun wan to think abt it now. Wan to wait until give birth then think.

If u looking for non-stay in CL, u can go to TMC, they have well-trained CL, who does'nt stay in, comes in the morning and leaves in the evening. I think the charges are at least $2k also, even if they dun stay in.
 


Ok, I am going over to JP for breakfast with my mum and boy and get papaya, black bean and fish to make papaya fish soup.

Yen, well, just pray that bb sleep through the nite, my #1 sleep through after 1st month so I am praying that #2 will be the same. Last bfd is at 11pm and then the next 1 is at 6.30am. And co-sleeping help bb too.
 
yen

imho, it's not good to be just weekend parents. Yes, it's tiring, but u will be heartbroken when your bb doesn't recognise u and cry when u try to carry bb if u leave bb till the weekends. That's what u get when u become weekend parents.

I have a cousin who's also a weekend parent. Now she's insisting on sending her gal to the CC even though she kept getting sick there coz her gal doesn't want her. She only wants her grandparents.

Even if u leave bb to nanny to stay at night, it'll have the same prob. My aunt who was a nanny, took care of a gal from birth who ended calling her mommy. Her real mommy was really upset with it.
 
yen
there is an article of those nanny who abuse the bb, taking on 6 babies at one time.. when rach parent comes with their kid, the kid who is ard gettound mouth taped, hands n leg bounded... u ask ur hb if he wants that?

shurley
yeah at expo...
 
mashy/pris,
It solved his problem, but not mine. The reason i din want to stay at home is becos of MIL. Getting a CL is oso heng sway cos my MIL is a bitch lah. That CL must suit her then can.

Let me give u an example. There are some parts of the toilet that my pt maid din clean thoroughly. My MIL, to show that she's NOT SATISFIED with her cleaning, will clean the toilet again immediately after the pt maid finished cleaning. She the type that thinks that she's very ya-ya just becos we paid for the services. As if money very big like dat.

So if there r things which she can't see eye to eye with the CL, or worse, if they quarrel and the CL leave after doing for a week or 2, den the one to suffer is me ah.

jules,
Not possible for him to stay over at my mum's place as there's not enough room. As at now, i'd need to bunk in with my parents or my sis if i were to go back to my mum's plc for confinement.
 
hey morning gals

just scanning thru the many posts yesterday. so many horror MIL stories - sometimes i wonder when it's our turn to be MIL, will we be like them and perpetuate the cycle..or will we break the cycle? :p

pink,
am glad both you and bb is ok. it must be a horrible scare.

Update:Ameda lactaline pump BP
I manage to find a local shop that's willing to sell us the set at $338 (cheapest i can find retail is %368 for the same set) inclusive of the following:

1) FOC delivery in Jul/Aug/Sep (one week before your EDD).
2) Warranty will start from delivery date.
3) Free sippy cup

I hope to get a bulk order of at least 5 sets, so that we can enjoy the price of $338, if we can get more than 10 sets, will try to negotiate a better discount.

Those who are keen to take advantage of this offer, please note yr interest here, or email me at [email protected]

1)babymaking
2)jul04
3)shinyan (EDD: End Jul09)
4)
5)

I may miss your post when the thread moves too fast, so do email me at [email protected] if i didn't update yr name.

Tas,
thks for listing the names - tentatively

1)Tulips
2) ryufer
3)dollie

can you confirm your interest?
 
Yen,
my MIl actually suggest we leave the baby with her den wkend den bring back but i oppose leh cos no doubt we will feel v tiring but i rather bring the baby home i cant bear not seein the baby for 1 whole wk leh keke..
 
piggytoh, u are right!! was referring to pegsfur, paiseh!

yen, the waking up in the middle of the night thingy bo bian one la.. part and parcel of having a baby ma.. and hopefully by the time ML is over, the night waking will be a lot more manageable cos by then bb is abt 4 mths old.

how abt getting a maid? some gd ones can actually look after at night as well.. just make sure she is supervised during the day and not left alone.

pris, 4 yrs! wa.. dont u miss ur family? i think i will get v v homesick if i cldnt see my mum regularly leh..
 
morning mummies

Piggy

I brought my maxi cosi at Kakit Bukit Hypermart. That time was having quite a gd deal. U can check out the price there and compare...

Pegs

When I have my #1, I also stay at my mum's place leh. Than hubby will go to my mum's place to visit us than go hm. Cos our mum know our preference better than anyone else. Also easier to talk to them what we want...

Maybe u can try to talk to yr hubby again....
 
pegsfur,
maybe let yr hubby know that if MIL drives away CL, then u will return to yr mum's place immediately? another alternative is that hubby sleeps in the living area at yr mum's place? tell him that you appreciate his sacrifice.

reira
i got 1 preloved convertible carseat which can be used from newborn to 4 yrs old. i got from another mummy, am letting go cos hubby went to buy a BN one - if you interested, email me for pictures - [email protected], am letting go at less than $100.
 
Pegsfur, how about asking your mum to come over in the day time then at night let your hb look after Ovann since he so gian to do it?
 
mtb : Those give MIL look after the baby how much do you all give her for monthly allowance for looking after har ?


Heng when my MIl say who do Cl for me I quickly say my mum will do , heehee and she keep quiet .Own mum do better can play cheat heehee dun like to eat can say , if MIL cant leh
 
pegsfur, is ur hubby taking leave during ur confinement? i think things won't be so bad if he's there to referee...

initially, i was thinking of moving to MIL's for confinement, but decided against it bcos we've never lived together b4 n husb won't be able 2 take so much leave.
 
pris, check with u..when did u stop co-sleeping with kai? i started co-sleeping with my girl only when she was abt 4-5 mths old.. she did sleep a bit better, but only started sleeping thru when she was abt 7mths. till now, i am still co-sleeping with my girl, but she's gonna get kicked out 1 mth b4 i deliver to make room for her brother :p

pegsfur, no wonder u headache la.. sayang.. like that it might be wiser to get CL thru agency - at least they do have a replacement policy shld ur MIL not like the current CL or has problems?

re weekend baby - hmmm i was a weekend baby myself.. in fact i stayed with my maternal grandparents all weekdays and went home with my parents on weekends until i was abt 2 yrs old. was asking my mum if i was closer to my grandma but she said ok leh.. and now my mum is my best friend.. can tell her anything and everything..
happy.gif
 
sunshine

ya, better don't move in to your MIL's place for confinement. When i had #1, my MIL wanted us to employ a confinement nanny and move over to her place. I was like 'duh', what's the diff. I can have the confinement nanny stay at my place (altho no space lah), why should i move over. Lucky i didn't move over coz we had a lot of conflicts during my confinement and i nearly wanted to kill them. Kept crying everyday becoz of them.
 
Bean,
my MIL dun wan to accept our $$ wor in a way they r quite well to do n they r half retired jus waitin for us to gave them grand children for them to past time...

Jules,
it depend leh my aunt let my the other aunt to look after her gal n she call my the other aunt mommy she got so jealous n sad lor.. for me i jus hope my boy will be closer to me so i dun mind the hardship.. but heng my MIL place is quite near me so no issue..
 
Actually most of the mummy preferred to stay with their mother instead of MIL, reason being is we can freely tell our mother what we like and what we dislike and also mother will know their daughter preference too.

If is MIL the way we talking to them must be very tactful, if the situation not handling well, ending turning in law to out law.

For my case, I also preferred to stay with my mother, but she is in Malaysia, so I have no alternative but to stay in Singapore. I am also staying with PIL.

When I had my #1, I engaged a CL, but end up, CL and MIL gossip too much, such as “She got no milk”, “aiya, your mummy torture you by not giving you milk powder”, or when my baby is cry, my MIL will be too “kan Cheong” and just open the door without knocking, which I really don’t like and also I cried a few times because of that incident.

After I explain to my husband, he told me to lock the door, when I BF my son.

My SIL told me her mother is the best one, last time when she had her confinement she also staying with her mother, because she cannot tahan her MIL. But I think she failed to think the point that, her mother is my MIL.

This time round, I am not going to engaged CL, but I get ready the confinement food recipes and translated into Chinese (if is in English) or English (if is in Chinese), so that MIL and maid can prepare the food for me.
 
yen, waking up middle of nite is part of parenthood lah... u can manage one. We all have done it and survived!

jules, u were a weekend bb till 2 yrs old only so guess that is ok. I stayed with my granny all my life, and when I got my first paycheck, guess who I bought a gift for? My mother was quite upset and still remembers it :p
 
piggy,
MIL can't shift back cos her flat is rented out de.

babymaking,
Not possible for hubby to sleep in living room, cos my mum's place is very hot! And for someone like my hubby, who is a volcano himself, the heat will literally kill him
happy.gif


bear,
That is another way lah .. but must discuss with my mum 1st, cos she still need to manage her own house. I dun want to trouble her too much, cos it'll mean she has to take bus to & from my place everyday.

But i'll definitely get hubby to look after Ovann in the nite since he so gian and to him looks so easy ...
proud.gif
 
PIGGY ; my diff as they are not so well to do and actually waiting for retire until I have a baby she resign her job and choose to look after her grandson . So I thinking how much to give her
 
hi mummies... i shall catch up on reading the archives later.. hha

yesterday took one day AL, cos i couldnt sleep the whole night! so hot!! even with the fan blowing straight at me also sweat!

then i thought can catch up on sleep in the PM.. wrong lor. 1: weather still very hot. 2: my phone keep ringing (work related so must answer)

even last nigth also very hot..

Oh dh and i went to the taka sale on sunday and we bought $300 over worth of things for baby.. haha... but most of the things boght liao. now only left the small misc items to buy..
 
mich

no probs at all. Think he's used to the idea of sch already since this is his 3rd sch. But after we left (we were still at the door), he was crying coz i think he had a fight with another boy over a toy. We asked him if he liked sch this morn and he said yes. So i suppose it's ok. Usually he'll say no in the morn and yes in the afternoon. hehe.
 
Bean,
ic so she even resign her job ah.. hmm in tt case maybe u can consider how much was her last pay n if u can afford to gave her tt amt?

Pegsfur,
i tink bobian 1 la jus have to find a way out but pls dun make ur self so depress pver it k.. my HB be4 he left wanted me to move to his mum place till i finish my confinement but i insisted no cos no doubt my relationship with his mum is ok but stayin together is diff esp with a baby.. since u cant stop ur MIL jus ignore her lor if ur mum can stay over durin day time will be best la
happy.gif
 
ya, we're not moving anywhere. MIL n my mum will probably come over during the day to help out.

MIL asked if we want 2order confinement tingkat... think she's feeling a bit stressed out n is worried she cannot cope.

my MIL n i get along fine, but she's v quiet n i'm scared she won't tell me if she's feeling tired or needs a break. so i'm quite happy to try to cope on my own n ask for advice and/or emergency help... cos i know she's ready & willing to help.

1st grandchild on both sides, so i'm assuming there'll be no lack of kind volunteers... haha.
 
i bought a playpen, pigeon cooler bag (under fridge to go), baby safe or baby plus pillow, nasal aspirator (safety first), avent tits (cos i have some new bottles but the previous owner used the tits), 2 mattress protectors, pigeon nipple shields... i caqnnot remember what else lor.. hahaha..

but most of the stuff we bought had discount, then plus DBS card got extra 10%... so more worth it lor...
 
mashy, that's good, looks like he will settle in easily
happy.gif
think yesterday C was not the only new student in the nursery class? Cos I asked Serene and she said got another new girl. I asked her about C and she says she don't know his name hee hee
 
bean,

I think u can use the market rate as a guage? Nanny nowadays is abt $500 - $600. So u can adjust accordingly
happy.gif
 
hi ladies

can i ask a question?

after we giving birth, there is a injection that can heal up the womb and vaginal contraction speed up faster. what is the injection call?
 
Pris: how did u establish a 'sleep thru-out the nite' routine? can teach me? Thanks. U also mention co-sleeping, meaning putting the bb cot in the same room as the parents or sleep together on same bed?

Mashy: I also will feel jealous if my bb call someone 'mama'. That is why i prefer my mum to look after, at least the bb will call my mum ' Ah-ma'(grandma). The nanny whom my husb strongly prefer is my sis-inlaw's current nanny, the auntie looks after my sis-inlaw's 2-yr old son now, and i ever witness the boy calling that auntie ' Ma-ma', that's why i dun like.
But my husb like that auntie very much, he think she is experienced in looking after kids and it is fun to grow up with a cousin (2-yr age gap). But i think it's best to have a nanny who take care of 1 child exclusively.

Jules: Actually i also wan to hire a maid, so she can do household chores and look after bb. But Husb feel unsafe to let maid look after bb. and my MIL at home, always knock-out (feel sleepy, take nap) after eating medicine. We already have a maid at home to look after her since she got a stroke 2 yrs back. But MIL dun see eye-to-eye with the maid, and like to scold her. Worse still, MIL said to let the maid go home in Oct when the 2-yr contract expire.
If i stay at home, quit my job after 16 weeks of maternity leave. Most prob, I will end up as the MAID to look after MIL and baby, which I dun wan and do all the housework. I rather go back to work.

Taslyn / Mich /Piggytoh : Thanks for your advice. I think black eye-bags are part of parenthood...haha
 
Yen,
if i were u i tink i would go back to work too hee.. maybe ur HB will change his mind after tt 16wk? heehee.. i am alr a panda now lor no need to wait till the baby is out :p
 
mashy ha ha, mine still can't tell the full story, her story is in bits and pieces... you and I can exchange notes to piece things together
happy.gif
 
mashy, do they have waterproof mat (babysafe products), bedding set, fitted sheet for playpen or baby cot?

Those special offer prices we are unable to use the 50% discount voucher?
 
Piggytoh: ya, u understd me..i wan to look after my bb myself, i dun mind not getting a fixed mthly salary. But i dun wan to stay home, and face MIL at the same time and handle all the housework. She will think that since Oct come, maid has gone back, i not working, i shd do the housework. Currently, my husb dun do housework at all. Since young, he has been spoilt by his mum, he dun need to do any hsework. At least, i know how to do housewwork, since my mum trained me from young. 2 yrs back, we got maid, and he also let maid do hsewk. I cannot imagine when maid leave, all the hsework become my biz.
 
carefreelife

yes, they have. They're clearing cots at $199 now. Fitted sheets also very cheap. If it's clearance (more than 50% off), then no more additional 50%. But if the offer is less than 50%, then u just use 50% off the UP. I saw them clearing some bumpers as well.
 
yen, I wouldn't want to have to do all the housework and look after MIL and the baby at the same time either!! It would certainly be a nightmare. Maybe ur mum can look after, and u simply bring bb home at night?
 
Yen,
tt the prob with stayin with MIL but man dun get it 1.. but heng my HB does do house work.. but i tink after baby born u see how lor maybe by then ur HB will know how tough is it to take care of the baby n decide to take ur suggestion? i can alr foreseen my MIL ask me to move over to her house after my confinement alr but i am goin to reject her hahah..
 
bean, i cannot remember exact brand one... baby something..

but its a latex pillow, and got holes inside, so it prevents SID..

I heard alot of good reviews about it. Baby wouldnt need it now, but later... then got 20% discount, might as well buy now.
 
Yen : very siong leh to look after MIL and baby . better get a maid to do housework and look after the MIL and sometime on your bb while hv someone at home . Dun let bb alone wif your bb if u dun trust her
 


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