(2008/12) December 2008 MTBs

hi mommies, i know this should already be posted somewhere here but cant seem to find.
Anyway, my boy is 15mths already and getting abit ba dao. I guess partly becos he's the only kid around and everyone give in to him. My mom who is the main care taker dosent really know how to teach/correct him. I cant blame her either cos we've got no experience. I am working thus seldom have time with him except for wkend. Hubby dosent like the idea of putting him into childcare at 18mths so i am currently trying to search for some program or enrichment class on wkend for him to mix around with other kids & learn. Any suggestions?
 


Vicki ba dao as in? 15 months usually they are being very kpo doing things that we say no.. running around the shopping centre of their own. 18months can go playground le ba.. im also thinking to look for a playground slowly to let her know whats school.
 
fabbie

i had a different experience...i was at a shopping center and emma was on a kiddy ride....the thing was moving and then suddenly this boy about 7 years old climbed onto the back of the car that emma was riding on...even though the car was moving up and down....i told him off as I was afraid that he might fall onto emma...he went off awhile and came back soon after and climbed a second time....

then i got pissed and scolded him....

i wondered where his parents were and what they were doing...not monitoring their son.....tsk tsk!!!
 
tara
Yeah! thats what im thinking why they just not monitoring their children and just let them wander here and there.. they not scare kana kidnap meh.. kaoz. at least they see and know their kid is doing like bullying other children or kana bullied..
 
Kath,
Nope I din use urs... Wanted to call but in the end only called one which I did before urs... Anyway all nicely done lar.

Bur,
U still need the rate I paid?
 
Hi Girls

Lately i set up my own blog to sell children clothings..Priority for Dec mummies 1st before i set up a BP thread.. Ready Stocks but limited.

I give it a try this time, so did not take alot of stocks in.

http://lilprettyinc.blogspot.com/

Interested, feel free to contact me on email or my msn..

Cheers

Thanks
 
fabbie, my son insist on havin his ways. if you try to correct him/stop him, he'll kick up a huge fuss. He'll only stop unless you give him what he want or try to con him with food. he also refuse to share his stuffs & you cannot snatch things from his hands.
 
vicki, most kids are like tat nowadays so it is up to the parents to instil good behaviour in them.
my son will also kick up a fuss if I don't give him wat he wants but I will not bother him. He will cry and raise his voice but I just ignore him. Usually within 3 minutes or less he will forget and play with other stuff.

Err...why would you wanna snatch things from his hands?? Hahaha.. but i personally feel that shuld not exchange something with food..else the kid will get the mentality that if u want me to give u sumthing, give me food first. Ltr become obese how?
 
bur,
tonite I PM u hor... :p

Santorini/Little Rabit/Ivy,
I have sent u all email. Can transfer me the $$ for the Healthy Times? Thanks!
happy.gif
 
Vicki,
I agree with Zachmummy, my dotter oso tries her luck. Think it's a phase as they grow older.

Esp at my MIL's place, she will yell/cry in protest when she does not get something. My MIL gives in. Then she will bring her attitude to my place. We will just look at her in the eyes and tell her "No, you should not/cannot play with this". If she continues screaming, we will calmly repeat until she stops.
happy.gif
If you wan to see behavoir change, alway need to be consistent (incl ur caretaker) and it will take some time.
 
pas
forgot to reply, for flavoured cod liver oil, I'm now giving my girl Nordic Naturals orange flavoured. bought from iherb. It's not sweet like scott's orange flavour, its basically just the oil and orange smell. My girl likes it. Think its better since it does not have as many added ingredients as scotts.
 
snowger,

it's not really a phase in that sense. They are trying to test their boundaries is more like it.

Ya, babies and toddlers will yell and cry when they don't get what they want. It's up to the caregiver to consistently stick to the same methods then they will eventually understand.

same with sitting in the stroller or carseat what. initially, all dowan .. die die can cry. For carseat, u must always put in. the minute u don't put that ONE time even after you've been doing it for months and they seem ok with it after a while. That ONE time will undo all the work you've done. So I always put in, whether it's a short distance trip or not. it works.

Same for stroller. Yesterday, after ballet class, I put Calista in, she started to fuss. This old lady told me .. ohhhh she doesn't want to be in the stroller (like duh .. of course i know that .. irrritating!!) .. I ignored the lady and Calista and half a minute later, she stopped fussing and we were on our way. I tell u .. u give in, you end up pushing an empty stroller half the time and still have to carry or hold their hand. If my husband is ard, then he insist on carrying her then it's fine, cos Calista aldy understands that if it's mummy alone and no daddy, she is sitting in the stroller NO CHOICE. hahahah!

It may seem evil to some ppl but it just doesn make sense that we have to give in to their demands all the time. Not for everything. they want to nap, we put them to sleep, they're hungry we feed.They want a toy, we buy (within reason) . cos let me tell you if u give in when they yell and holler all the time - it won't get better. A spoilt child is a spoilt child lor. lol
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yup, guess it's due to inconsistency cos i m the only 1 that tries to discipline him. he can really go on and on screaming and crying until he gets what he want. As much as i dislike distracting him with food (cos he's abit on the plump side), it's the only thing that work so far.

why i snatch ah? cos he usually take things like handphone, pen, spoon etc. I usually let him play but once he get too rough (as in waving it or smashing it onto the floor), i will try to take it away. & it's not easy to just exchange some other toys that are safer for him.
i dont know if you guys are same. my son loves handphone/computer very much. & it must be the ones we are using. even those real handphone with no sim card, he will throw it away.
 
that's the reason why i want to look for some enrichment class for him to mix with other kids. currently i notice he dislike crowd and will keep clinging on to us. initially i wanted to look for some half day playgroup for him but the childcare around my area dosent seem good.
 
Vicki
My gal loves com and hp too ah. everytime take and hit and smash my laptop too. so usually i will just distract her to other things and let her play. like maybe say i let her watch video if she dun touch. if not i dun let her watch.. sometimes she will still touch lar. babies now. wont really listen to us yet. as in which want can.. which one duno. hehe
 
Ivy,
I sent u sms liao.

Kristalangel,
You're right. I rem that as a kid I oso like to test boundaries... See how much my parents will relent. :p

U are right, pple ard us will see us as evil mothers who dun care abt our child. Cos there was once I got wierd stares from pple when I left my dotter fussing in her baby seat while hb and I continued our dinner. Aft a while, she gave up and sat in the chair quietly...

^5, N oso knows that if it's mama only, she has to comply (aft fussing for a while, cos who knows maybe mama might relent today?). papa will usually give in aft she fusses long enuf. :p

Fabbie,
seems like all our babies are same, like the real stuff - real laptop, handphones, etc. Fake one they dun take interest... :p mine oso hit my laptop keys v hard even if the laptop is playing her fave sesame st clip, then the clip will keep pausing cos she hit one button.
 
omg, y r all d babies so clever now.
just a note of caution. must keep your eyes on ur kids esp if they play with your laptop. i remember once when my son was still 7/8mths (yes, still on walker), he actually pluck out my laptop button and put into his mouth. thankfully i discover early, else he might have swallow it. i just turn my back on him for a min or so =.=
 
vicki...we seldom or would not allow cidney to touch adult stuff cause what my hubby say is quite true..it will send them mix signal one moment that think adult stuff are their toys and they can play with it then another moment u snatch their toy away..they will get very confuse..she will still tries to pick them up but whn i snatch away from her saying it belongs to papa or mama, she'll let go willingly, but if i snatch her toys away...she'll scream!!!
 
Snowger

Post natal depression can be diagnosed either by gynaes or psychiatrists...though i think gynaes will eventually refer patient to a psychiatrist if she's confirmed suffering from post natal blues...

Best to see a psychiatrist for help and they are in the best position to diagnose and advise help or prescribe meds to manage the depression...
 
ya.. all kids are the same.. touch what we want and imitate us.. not just HP or laptop.. Now, even when she saw us using metal spoon, porcelain plates for meals.. she also want to use and follow and self feed. Usually i will give it to her to explore but supervise with care..

headache eh..

I read an article, like what Bur said, either give it to them and supervise and explain to them.. OR if you do not want them to scream cry for it, keep it away from them. Cos they will not understand WHY CAN"T THEY HAVE IT.

For my case, i choose to let her explore.. well tats mean MORE Headache and more " NO" to her.. LOL
 
Thanks Santorini!
happy.gif


bur,
What you say makes great sense becos it's unfolding before my eyes. My ger screams when she dun get to hold or touch the CoCa Cola can... All bcos papa, ah ma, nai nai lets her hold the empty coca cola can aft papa is done with the drink... *haiz*
 
Still on the topic of post natal depression, it's a bit too long to be still PND right? Was talking to a friend and she says I may be suffering from PND... Hmmm...
 
snowger

not sure what you are currently going through ....but it could be depression or a simple case of burnt out.....

I've been very tired myself...mentally and physically...but when i sleep for 10 hrs straight...i still wake up tired...i dun feel refreshed...and i feel battered...because i haven't taken time out for exercise ...i hope to change the situation soon....

maybe you need to relook at your own situation and see what you need....
 
snowger,

i dunno wat u are going through now. But i do think i have PND when i have my 1st kid. It quite serious that time cos i did think of throwing my bb down from the flat then i follow.

After a heart to heart talk with my hubby i do feel better.

For my 2nd one, i do have depression but is better than last time. Cos this time my hubby spot it earlier. And he actually command me to go out and relax myslef then cope in the hse looking after my 2 litte monster. Now he ask me to mthly have to take at least half a day leave to go shopping or massage for relaxing. So i guess all these help as i do feel i am happier than b4.
 
Santorini,
I also dunno... I dun feel happy. There are some nights where I will cry myself to sleep (over what I dunno but incidence getting lesser). I can sleep n sleep n sleep (like u for 10 hrs) and still feel tired. I feel like I am no longer attractive and in some ways feel inadequate as a mother & wife, blah blah... I realise that I keep pushing N to my hb (which cld be a reason y N is closer to hb) n tat is a symptom of PND. In some sense, I have thot N was the source of my unhappiness... *But I am also quick to realise tat she is also a source of my joy...*

I'll be joining my colleagues for gym today. Hopefully will perk me up a little. :p I have been looking and trying to pull myself out of the pit. But everything comes up to a blank. So when I was speaking w a friend, she suspects I have PND.

Jappooh,
I got go for facials, ME time... but it doesn't help. To the extend I just want to go FAR FAR AWAY. Pack my bags n leave for good... But I have no where to go and I dunno where to go oso...
 
Snowger,

wat abt couple time with your hubby? U knw i have the same feeling as you. but i do feel happier when i go out patoh with my hubby then just go out alone.
 
jappooh,
hubby too busy to paktor w me. Even when we go out, we land up talking abt N or doing things for N. He recently bot me a bunch of roses to try to cheer me up... But it din do the trick n I end up wondering if it was becos he came home at midnight the day before, tat's why I get roses...
 
snowger,

dun think it that why. Recently my hubby bring me to shops for bag. Till now i cant decide. He comment wan to make me happy so buy a bag for me and i can consider for so long. Yes when we are together will be talking abt kids too but as well as we do talk abt where we wan to go for holiday. So that do make me feel better.

I think you are too tense up. Try to relax.

Frankly speaking, i am not really happy when i was out alone shopping. I prefer to go with my hubby. THat why now i will take leave go shopping and patoh with my hubby during his off day. He is working shift work so his off day can be a weekday. For weekend we cant have couple time at all cos i need to look after my 2 kids.
 
maybe my form of parenting will be frowned upon alot of you but i feel that it will ensure hayden a great childhood, he can do anything he likes but obviously things that we dun want him to do we will tell him and after the notti corner a couple of times, he gets the idea. At home, he can roam and touch, take, do anything.. as long he dun endanger his life, n if he falls, i keep quiet too.. and usually he just stands up and go abt doing his business.. he can be quite difficult outside coz there are more boundaries, like he doesnt understand why he cannot arrange the bottles of shampoo at watsons.. well that said.. it takes time to make him understand.. but i find it impt to always give him a space to run ard like, we go to a playground, gymboree or something.. n he will guai guai after that liao. imagine u are the child n u r forced to sit down n behave while the adults walk ard.. not fair rite.. keke.. well.. i'm not saying what i do is rite. and i agree with some of your points too.. just i feel its difficult when we compare each child's behaviour coz different parent behaviours and upbringing will have different characters. so dun worry too much if ur kid is notti or dun wanna sit in stoller, wanna scream or whateva. its part of their growing up la.. keke..

ppl who go out with me n hayden, will realise that i bo chap hayden one. as long he happy i happy.. he cranky i cranky..
 
snow.. visualise that u really go far away. then how will u feel. will u ba happy.. will you miss ur HB n Nicole? will u miss ur family and friends? do you think u will find happiness far away?

its not abt going away. maybe u need some closure to something or u need a new avenue to direct ur emotions to. if HB is not the one, then find a person, be it professional or just a friend, it will help. there are many helplines that u call them for fun and talk to them for fun. and feel better.

i feel i have no life, but this life i'm going thru now is more than i can ever hope for. i sometimes think, if i packed my bags and left many yrs ago, i wont meet my HB and i wont have hayden.. and i will be very sad. so dun think of leaving them.. they are meant for u. just find a way to perk urself up.

ME time is good. i like ME times.. i wanted to go diving myself next next wk. but i know i'll miss hayden very much and i wont enjoy my trip, maybe go one a staycation urself or something..
 
Jappooh,
Hehe... I wan to go overseas without my hb... Going shopping with him can make me go crazy so I rather go with my sister.

Phyl,
My dotter took and pass me each and every chocolate bar on the shelf of the gas station we were at that day. No stopping them... As long as we are comfortable and we think it's right, that is parenting liao lor.
happy.gif
To each his own...
 
Snowger,

My gal like to go to the front porch, pick up the leaves on the floor and start sweeping the floor. when i try to bring her in, she will cry and struggle coz she wants to go outside to play. So in the end i let her explore lor, while i pick up a proper broom and sweep the porch. She ended up playing with the pile of dead leaves i swept, sigh. She ended up hot and sweaty but with a happy grin on her face.

U still go back to Dr Ang? Now she's around most afternoons liao so waiting times are much shorter. Tomorrow I am going to bring her for MMR.
 
yogi08,
Long time no hear from u!
happy.gif
Our little ones are little explorers now, anything they have not seen and touch before are like new toys to them.

I still go to Dr Ang. Her timings are definetely better for weekday (cos everyday got morning n afternoon clinic- no evenings liao). Sat & Sun still got morning clinic but will be super packed. U giving ur gal MMR or MMRV? Btw, her clinic is still in TMC hor, incase u go to the one at nouvena sq.
 
Snowger,

i think you should just go on a holiday.. with friends, with parents, with HB either one,just without N. Take a short break. A elastic band pull too long n tight will also snap one day. Tats why i told HB tat i need a BKK trip, though i cried there for 2 days as i miss ashlynne so much.. but i really enjoy for a short holiday.. just like last time both of just dating.

Wat i meant.. its not about holiday.. just take a break.. find something that u can enjoy n relax..

At times i do feel very stress up looking after Ashlynne & finding a job. Being SAHM is also a damn tough job. I wish i could go back to workforce and enjoy work and lunch with my colleagues. Perhaps when i m back to work, i wanna be at home again. Its really contradicting.

Everyone do have their own ways to look after their child.. As long as you feel that this is right for you,just go ahead. Being mother, i believe you tried your best already.

Dun be too hard on urself..

Phyl,

After being SAHM for coming 6 months.. i lost my energy and become rather bo chap on her except her diet. Exploration is the word that my HB n I giving Ashlynne. Feel free to roam n touch as long as its within the safe limits.

Now she wan self feed, i let her mess and feed herself.. she wan play ice and see it melt.. go ahead and i bring out cubes of ice to let her play.. Its amazing to see her face with doubts.." where are the ice?? why only left with water?? haha!!

Like u said, its part of growing up... But my mum is different.. she will yell at me n said why m i allowing her all these nonsense....
 
Snowger,

Yah, too busy spreeing lah haha but I still come in here to read updates.

I brought her for chicken pox last month so this time round is only MMR. The clinic also never suggested giving MMRV so I just followed the schedule in the appointment card. Lucky she still at TMC, I think it's the other Dr Ang who has moved?

Anyway hope you feel better soon. I also very sian sometimes of this lifestyle. It's like I feel so stuck and there's nothing I can do about it coz your whole life revolves around the gal literally. Even when you take time off or go on holiday, also need to ma fan others to take care of her. Hopefully things will get better when our little ones hit 2 yrs old and can talk and communicate with you!
 
Hi gals
Bryan is down with flu and cough but this time there is nose bleed. Wonder if he rub his nose too hard or something more :S Anyone have such experience before?

Snowger
You can actually go to NUH Neuroscience department. They deal with PND. Good to get a pro to talk it out and find out what is exactly causing your unhappiness.
 
snowger

if you want to go on a trip with your sis...you should go ahead...

a happy family starts with a happy mommy....attend to your own needs first then you will energy to attend to the little one....

talk to a pro, like what Adel says....it might help you to see things in perspective...really hope you will feel better soon....

i have been also quite lax with emma exploring everything....usually i will let her run around, at home or even in the shopping center....because you can tell she loves the freedom to run around...you know Singapore is so short of space...and the poor kids have no where to run around in....so whenever and wherever i can, i let her go free...of course i draw the line at when she might hurt herself.....
 
snowger, checking urself into one of those hotels is a good idea...indulge in their spa services..go for a walk, eat etc..shop!! Don't tink abt anything..switch off ur phone, bring a good book, relax by the pool.

go exercise is a good way to make urself look good. 2 weeks ago, i put on 2 kg!!! cos i overate during CNY..then I started going to the gym religiously 3x a week and now i feel so much refreshed..mabbe the fats are still thr but the mindset is diff..i tot i m much fitter and the clothes look beter on me. hahaha but when i weigh myself, the weight is still showing the same one 2 weeks ago. i still eat as much as before...kaka

the main thing is.. get to the root of the problem. if u sense something is wrong, get some help. they will know how to advise u. dun wait till it gets worse. u can always come online and chat wif us..
 
Hi gals
Sry..Change topic abit huh..

Hows ur shopping for CC been so far?
I still haven started. Trying to decide btw Cherie Hearts & My first Skool (NTUC)
Personally prefer cherie hearts cos of the better ciriculum..

but both are not exactly near to me, gotta take bus n walk abit. MFS is nearer to my in-laws. so they can help to fetch her. If I send her to CH, gotta rush to fetch her myself.

I'm looking at Cherie Hearts Kids 'R' Us Preschool LLP (nearest to me)

Wats ur take?
 
Xuelyn,
Me intend to put Ashlynne to playgroup on weekend 1st.. till she older like 24months then go to CC. Beside, non working mum like me, dun benefit from subsidize too.

I want to talk to u abt weekend playgroup too...Waiting for u to online at night..

Yes, me also cherie hearts or sparkletots at my house front.. Sparkletots is just 2 blks away from my mum's, if i put her there, its just for my mum's convenience when i return to work.

but then i dun see what so good about sparkletots cos tat day i stepped in to see.. Saw a malay teacher scolding children, then a PRC teacher or assistant that do not even understand my english and the rest of the children crying there... no teachers bother and yet saw other PRC teachers walking here n there...Faintz.. No singaporean teachers??
 
xue, i went to Chiltern House (under JG) and Brighton Montessori yesterday after Zach's MMRV jab.

We have decided to enrol him at Brighton cos the class size is small and their teacher:student ratio is 1:5 and each level onie 1 class. The teacher showed us what the kids will learn and there will be quarterly update on the kids progress in school and 2x PTA a year, which i tink is good for the parents to be aware of what the kids are doing.

brighton is at fort road, so quite near my office n got direct bus.. school fees wise is cheaper compared to Chiltern house. OOh..i oso registered Zach for the PlayClub at East Coast..love the environment there.
 
Yes, Xuelyn.. Its abt the Chiltern house that i wanna talk to you at nite.. Kath told me about it already. Its the same as JG

This Sat, i booked an appointment with the teacher to see the school . If everything ok, i putting ashlynne for weekend class.. maybe same class as Zach liao.. hahaha!!! June intake

N one impt point, its at East Coast..NEAR!!!
 


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