rena
hmm, just my little one cent's worth (pun on my name haha). if you always feel hurt by what your mil says about your sons, then you need to tell yourself that the mouth is hers and you cannot control. and since it's something you cannot control, then just don't care about it. i know it's easier said than done, but it's good advice to keep repeating to yourself.
in the beginning i used to mind everything that my mil said about me or the baby (y'know, the first time my mil carried pomfret, in the hospital, she had such a look of misgiving, coz she thought pomfret might not be her son's baby, so my heart was so broken, i felt so bad for my baby)
has my mil become nicer? not really,she's still her, and still says some mean things to me. but i am minding it less, coz i realized 1) it's just natural to get defensive if pple criticise your family 2) mostly we feel hurt if our babies are not loved by others.
for point 1), bo pian one. we cannot care about pple's criticisms. as women we have so many roles in life to fulfil, always fulfilling ppl's expectations. but now as mothers, we need to be positive role models for our children.
i don't want pomfret to see me crying if mil comment something about her. i want her to see that if the comment is not justified, or unfair, that i have an air of nonchalence about it. so that pomfret will grow up strong and not affected by what other silly people will say.
for point 2) well, not everyone will love our beautiful babies, beautiful and perfect that they are, so we also must teach them that truth. if grandma don't love you, then forget it, we don't need to work hard to get her approval. if other family and friends love you, then hang around with them more. coz love begets love. if grandma don't love you unconditionally, then too bad. there will be other pple who love you unconditionally. the world is full of love. we in turn just show due respect to mil coz they are old and brought up our husbands, but no need to get too upset and give our babies the wrong idea that these ppl who don't love them, that their opinions matter. if pple don't love you, their opinion don't matter.
eh, sorry for the long posting, but i'm quite insomniac tonight and then i have very strong views about managing bad relationships with in-laws (or any other pple who try to force their opinions on you in general)
i'm not even sure i make any sense
