(2008/06) June 2008

Sharon

I oso think tat when grandparents dun follow our practice, then when we are stricter, will tend to complain more. My colleague say her boy will hide behind grandma if she want to discipline and her mum (grandma of her boy) will tell her not to discipline.. then end up dispute so its v hard to discipline her kid too. But when she go her MIL house, her MIL will not chap their discipline, so no issue.

Luckily I do not stay with my ILs so when we go back home, we can discipline without any interference.

Although i got tell my MIL to be stricter, I dun really emphasize it too much bec my MIL is taking care alone without helper so it can be v stress for her. I myself when i take care alone sometimes can also be lenient bec' too tired n just give in.

As for learning bad habits and copying frens etc at CC, this is bound to happen bec when kids to go kindergarten/pri sch etc, also will do this.
 


Felicia

GP told me before can give apple when cough. He said apple is the one of the good fruits tat can give regardless cough/flu etc. I tink yr MIL anyhow hear from other aunties, not so accurate leh. If sick, definitely need more vit C mah, then will need fruits even more wat. Just need to avoid certain fruits and give the correct fruits lor.
 
<font color="aa00aa">ellysia,
I'm not sure oso. Maybe it was because i had keep the puree in freezer before that. Maybe if given fresh, is ok.</font>
 
ok. i have a crock pot but i don't know how to use it to cook baby food!!
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can one of you wonderful mummies please help!?

thanks
 
felicia,
I prepared with the copycat. but what about discipline? Hb afraid she will become extreme naughty if put her in. In fact now when she naughty &amp; cry, after she cool down i will explain to her y i scold her etc...

lengleng,
u so experience. Is so nice to hear feedback from you. So are all 3 of ur kids very naughty? Are they more independent?

soyabean,
yes, i do need some patience with her now. Oh u r sick. You take good care n drink more water.

Ellysia,
My MIL too kind to her liao. I nv heard her scold her at all lor. If my ger hide behind her nainai, i sure follow leng leng's method(cane together with nainai)
 
<font color="03b6ea"><font face="Comic Sans MS">hi mummies.. think most grand parents dote on grand children and will jux give in to their request... </font></font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">Sharon,
Discipline is a big headache for me now. My #1 will show 'hit me back' attitude when i cane her even i explain to her why/ reason.
In house i'm the 'super black face' person. My hubby and MIL rarely punish my girl. Last time my MIL always sided my ger when i'm scolding her as her concern is my ger will vomit if cry too much. But i know my ger purposely cry till vomit so my MIL will sided her. So my standpoint is let her cry till vomit for few times when nobody sided her then she'll stop. So there's once i was super hot and i shouted at my MIL to stop siding her else she'll nvr listen to me. From that day onwards, my MIL wont interfere when i'm teaching my ger. (of course i feel bad shouting at my MIL as my MIL is consider a good MIL)
But that was a good start coz my ger nvr do that again. She only cry and sob at the most when i punish her.
Now left with her behaviour problem, but hor she was an obedient and nice girl in the heart of her CC teacher lor. Last friday i had a teacher parent session at her CC, the teacher really give her good comment. She just dont behave when at home.</font>
 
Felicia

Why do u give puree? U can give in fresh apple form. Just cut in slices and let yr gal eat. I give fruits to my boy fresh during noon time, although i also give him one fruit puree mix with cereal in the morn. The morn puree is also from freezer n warm up. But the noon time fruit is fresh one. Maybe if u worried, u can skip the puree and give apples in fresh form. Just cut into thin slices.
 
For discipline, u can read up this book call 'positive discipline'. I have the book from amazon spree - positive discipline for 1 to 3 yr old. Its quite good but i haven't finish reading up. Maybe must spend more time to finish it up.
 
Sharon,
they are very mischievious,
always testing the limits.
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Our elder 2 are rather independant,
except when they are at grandma's place,
they like to "bully" grandma...
 
<font color="aa00aa">ellysia,
Puree is easier for my MIL to feed her. If wanna give fresh, then my MIL will need to slice it on daily basic. I just wanna to lighten my MIL workload.
But sooner or later i think i'll need my MIL to cut and slice.

Leng Leng,
Me too. rather surprised of the good comments from teacher.</font>
 
thanks soybean, hope i got to free time to meet up with my neighbours (feifei).

felicia, i move to sk.

Was feeling so tired everyday as baby was so busy touring around at home, feeding her meal took me almost an hour...hai
 
<font color="aa00aa">Morning ladies!

Ellysia/ feifei,
My gers only dare to play with the shower type water. They dont even dare to go near the water pool. Whenever i try to put YuJie down she'll scream and cling to me like koala bear. I need they need time to adjust. But once they r ok, they seem to be very enjoy.

yummy_pie,
yes, is quite funny!

Maybe when all of kids is bigger, we can hv a gathering there? haha.....
I saw someone is organise birthday birthday there.

shinely,
wanna ask, does ur baby ok with new environment? What i mean is will ur baby refuse to sleep due to new environment? Coz i'll be moving in another few more mths, and my younger ger is very 'sensitive' to room. I'm worry when move to new place, she refuse to sleep, then cham liao.</font>
 
Morning ladies..

Shinely,
Y dun u put her on a highchair? then she won't be able to move ard leh..

Felicia,
hehe, tink my ger also like that lor..Ya lor, been so long since we have a gathering leh...
 
Morning mummies!

Was reading all the posts regarding discipline.

So no one will spank their baby right?

Cos my baby oso very naughty, will test water wan.. She will purposely touch the wire or socket n turn to look at us to see what is our response. Then when we said no, she will pause her hand near the thing n continue to see what is our response..

Even after i carried her away, she will crawl back n continue touching..

So my husband spank her hand once and few times more when she dun listen.. so asfter being spanked then she cried.. But after crying for awhile she still go n touch the socket again.

I'm not sure whether spanking is consider good dsicipline?
 
Felicia:

Heehe.. Your gers looked like they were having fun.. I guess they must had a great time.. Yu jie looks liek toddler liao eh.. She looks like she can stand n run ard le... =)
 
sharon...
yes... we hv got to be patient... now that i go thru being a parent myself, i reali appreciate wat my parents did to raise me up... its not easy lor...
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sharon, felicia...
thanks... haha... me super gungho... actuali i even went to the dentist yest to extract my wisdom tooth... the appt was scheduled some weeks back... and cos i didnt hv anymore fever, i went ahead to extract... and dentist gave me one more day MC to stay home... :p

angel...
so far, i dun spank her... and even if i do, i wldnt use my hand to hit her. cos i believe dat by using hands, the kiddo will learn and think that hitting pple using their hands is ok.

jus be insistent and saying NO to the things she shldnt do... kids know how to test our patience... it may take yrs before they learn... haha... even now my #1 oso do things on purpose to get us agitated.
 
felicia...
hehe... the zoo trip looks sooo fun.... i hvnt bring eve to zoo yet.... does Yujie know how to appreciate the animals? Eve's fav animal is Lion...
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she even knows how to "roar" when she sees a lion pic... haha...

saw ur post on #1 discipline issues. sigh... my #1 oso having issues... like urs, he will "action" back whenever we scold him. and my parents tend to be protective of him... somehow they feel that we shldnt hit him too hard... so there were times in the past when we try to discipline him at my parents' place, they will drag him away. And now he knows that gong-gong and poh-poh will help him lor.... wats more, sometimes when he does wrong things, he knows that he will kena it when we go home, and when its time to go back, he will give excuses and say he wan to stay at my mum's.... so now my hb and i told each other that if he ever does anything bad, we will wait until we get home then we start any discipline....
 
soyabean: icic.. cos i have one fren very scary de.. she has 2 kids and her younger one is same age as ours, 14 months..

she told me she will cane her kids even the 14 mths de.. i got a shock.. cos i was thinking why she need to be so strict?

she told me if her 14mth old wan to touch any socket, she will use cane to cane her hand, she claim that she never cane very hard la.. then she can very proudly tell me now her bb dun dare to touch the socket anymore.. n she confidently tell me must cane kids wan, if not they very naughty...

but i dun agree with her leh..

so if u spank your kids, u use cane?
 
angel...
yes, i use cane... but at last resort... oni when its obvious that they repeatedly do the wrong thing over and over again... actuali at our bb's age, they love exploring everything ard them... so we jus hv to keep repeating to them wat they can touch and wat they cant.

actuali i dun believe in using the cane too often... if everything oso use cane, it will lose effect when the child grows older. cos they hv been hit so many times that they are used to it. i realised this when a fren told me she has a cousin who always cane her child... and now the child in pri sch, not scared of the cane anymore... maybe u shld let ur fren know abt tis implication?
 
soyabean: icic..

my fren is so confident that caning works, i dun wan to pour cold water on her.. cos it works on her #1 who is in pri sch now.. n her #1 very guai but very timid.. dun know whether is it cos of her mum's strict discipline..

but my fren belong to the old school one.. she more our parents thinking.. very difficult to convince her..

okok.. i will try to delay intro of caning..
 
angel...
haha... dun take my advice too seriously hor... cos i may not hv the best method lor... u oso hv to take into consideration Sheryl's temperament and personality and adopt the more appropriate discipline methods...
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soyabean: heehee.. no la.. cos i agree with your method ma.. =)

from what i observe, sheryl is very stubborn, bad temper.. i a bit worried about how to discipline her liao.. sigh..
 
angel...
mine oso stubborn and fiesty... so we as parents hv to be even more stubborn lor... haha... cannot give in... if give in, they will know they can hv their way if they try hard enuf... =P

okie... me going off to rest liao...

will come in again in the PM.
 
soyabean: heehee.. so eve oso same as sheryl.. now then i understand to be parent is very tiring.. how to sustain energy to fight their stubbornness? sigh

okok.. u go rest.. take care!
 
Re: caning

I dun really agree tat caning will work with all children. Maybe work for some children but not all types. Some rebellious type, if cane may be worst bec will cause more violence. When my dad/mum cane me n my bro, there is one stage when i am v rebellious and will not be afraid of cane, my bro even take the cane and throw it out of window/hit back my parents with the cane. But i do agree tat occasionally will need to use the cane, just need to use in the correct way.
 
angel

I do hit my boy buttock if he repeatedly went to touch things such as wires/vaccum cleaner etc. He will cry and i will scold him fierce then he will stop touching for some time or a few days depending on how hard i scold him.

accidentally hit his back but not too hard last weekend cos really heated. i tink when we parents hit our kids we feel even worst than them.

Normally i dun hit him unless really v jiat lat. usually will scold him or nag/lecture a bit and he know i am angry. Sometimes i just raise my voice and he will cry ored.

when we spot him approaching near that object, we will tell him dun touch or NO.. and he will look at us then back at the object to test water.. sometimes he will choose not to touch, sometimes he will still attempt. and i will scold him/give him warning before i drag him away and he will cry, then i divert him by showing him some other objects and he will forget to touch tat item for some time. Diversion do works sometimes.

When he sense tat i unhappy at him, after he cool down he will try to make peace by smiling at me or making me laugh/hugging. After i smile back at him, then he know tat i am ok, then he will resume back to his playing.
 
ellysia: ya.. n i very scare that if i start using cane, i will become over-dependent on it to discipline my ger.. very difficult to control cos its so effective..

i oso hit her buttock but its covered with diapers n like no impact on her.. she still continue doing whats she was doing.. then i dun dare to hit too hard cos i scare hit her back or injure her..

i totally understand what u mean.. when i saw my husband spank my ger's hand until red (cos she defiant so my husband hit her few more times), my heart pain loh.. i immediately wan to go n carry her so sayang her.. but my husband scold me so i never..

wa.. u good eh.. jus raise your voice n he will cry liao.. i raise my voice, my ger jus walk away.. sigh.. think she more scare of my husband's loud voice.. cos male voice more intimidating than female..
 
<font color="aa00aa">Same as soyabean, i intro cane when my #1 is almost 2 yrs old. But before that my ger babysitter oredy intro cane but only as threatening weapon nvr hit her before.
Somehow or rather i still believe in caning, but dont over used it. I make a point cane and explain. Normally my #1 will get my cane when i'm giving her 2 times of warning and she still did it.
My caning for my #1 was mostly when she's 2 to 3 yrs old. At that stage i almost go crazy with her repeating behaviour despite warning and warning.
Now i rarely use cane unless really there's a need. Now most of the times i'll ask her to stand the 'punishment' corner till i allow her to 'get out' from it.

As for YuJie, so far i nvr cane her. In fact she saw me take cane, she'll laugh lor. Whenever she touch someting like electrical socket, i'll softly hit on her hand and told her 'No'.

Not all disclipine method will work on all kids, you'll need to monitor and see what method work best. Soft approach or hard approach. hehe...</font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">angel,
In fact YuJie is very small size leh. She can stand for a while but not walk without support. She just refused to take a 1st step when we guide her. Lazy.</font>
 
felicia: ya loh.. need to monitor n see what works best.. so alot of trial n error.. n that means alot of headache n stress..

but yu jie doesn't look very small size in the pic leh.. furthermore she sit beside your #1, looks as though their age gap quite close kind.. heehee.. maybe cos they sitting now so can't reali tell..

my ger oso can't walk without support totally.. now she can onli walk 3-5 steps unaided.. but we bought her sqeaker shoes n that will encourage her to walk more eh.. cos she wan to hear the sqeakers ma.. she hear n she will laugh while walking.. hahaha..
 
morning felicia,

First day she not used to it, as she use to sleep in her baby cot, but now i let her sleep on the matteress.
But the 2nd day she is fine already and i find her sleep and eat better staying here.
 
angel

My voice v loud usually so when i m fierce is v scary.

when he is infant tat time, got 1 time i v stressed n i throw him on the cot quite hard. then few time quarrel with my mum n we raise our voice loud loud n scare him until he didnt cry. Sometimes when i m stress i oso left him to cry alone in the cot until he see the cot become v scared and dun want to sleep there. So he become a bit insecure and sticky n will cry whenever people raise voice..

my mum always say he is easily scared so ask me not to scold him too fierce. But lately he is oso become more mischevious n sometimes really have to scold him.
 
angel,
on Cornelius, not yet,
using my hand...

Rem to hit only on hands &amp; legs,
butt is not a good place,
if missed, may hit spine.
 
ellysia: wa.. u quite fierce.. i always xin luan towards my ger..

oh no.. he insecure ah? actually my ger will oso be insecure when she hears me n my husband quarrel n raise voice. she will look sad, scare n ready to cry..

lengleng: when u start caning your big ones?
 


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