(2008/06) June 2008
- Thread starter avoros
- Start date
crystal~07
Active Member
feifei,
my growth scan will be on 19th apr (wk33, going wk34 of preg). dunno the exact name of tat scan though, jus know enf tat it is to check the functioning of the placanta, etc...
TF,
my gynae noted that at ending wk31, beginning wk32, bb shd be wtging at 1.8kg, so mine is considered below average n need to be sent for scan. yes, i will leave the tot of pushing c-sec to later date (provide my gynae is available) shd bb gwen still not reach at least a 2kg by then.
my growth scan will be on 19th apr (wk33, going wk34 of preg). dunno the exact name of tat scan though, jus know enf tat it is to check the functioning of the placanta, etc...
TF,
my gynae noted that at ending wk31, beginning wk32, bb shd be wtging at 1.8kg, so mine is considered below average n need to be sent for scan. yes, i will leave the tot of pushing c-sec to later date (provide my gynae is available) shd bb gwen still not reach at least a 2kg by then.
crystal~07
Active Member
veniz,
if u cant get aunty su to do for u, maybe u like to try my massage lady - mdm sunati? her contact is 92775261. i had booked her for my confinement massages already. she charges $450 for 7 consec sessions. jus tell her christine from yishun recommended. the last i tok to her, she is not fully booked yet...
if u cant get aunty su to do for u, maybe u like to try my massage lady - mdm sunati? her contact is 92775261. i had booked her for my confinement massages already. she charges $450 for 7 consec sessions. jus tell her christine from yishun recommended. the last i tok to her, she is not fully booked yet...
Good morning ladies,
Zu-en, Don't worry so much ok? Wait for the scan 2 wks later. Sometimes baby will speed up their growth in the later stage. I know one mama in May thread, her baby also small, but within 1 wk, the weight suddenly shot up.
Ladies,
Thanks so much for the encouragement. Trying to stay positive and act blur at home loh. But I think I dunno how to put my sentences correctly in front of the counselor plus hubby ard, I don't dare to openly badmouth my MIL cos I scare he really gets put off. In the end the counselor said let MIL try. Haiz. That's why I really went to brainstorm for ways to get my MIL to surrender herself. So scared she'll bring up my child in the wrong way. I keep telling hubby I wanna put our gal in childcare by 18 mths, then he so worried of baby falling sick. I think the way my MIL handles her life, my baby prolly fall sick more often under her hands than childcare loh.
Ellysia, Yah, I read of your story before. Reminds me of my gf.. Her paternal grandma also caused alot of havoc in her house. When her mum gave birth to her bro, her paternal grandma went to tell her that her mum hates her, that's why they have another baby. Causing her to hate her mum when young. And her grandma very scary one, she'll teach her how to go against her own mum, buy those forbidden food like snacks for her and teach her to keep inside her drawer so that her mum dunno.
On top of that, she also sow discord between the couple. Her parents almost divorce becos of her grandma also.
I dunno why these ppl so evil. I keep on trying to comfort myself my MIL is not that bad. Cos everytime she always act naive in front of us. But time to time I witness her actions behind my back.
If something I did not pleasing to her eyes, honestly I wouldn't mind if she says out loud then to hold it and start gossiping abt me to hubby and FIL. Then hubby will keep quiet cos he will want to evaluate things himself. But once somethings strikes, he always brings up his mum says this and that. I feel so angry loh. And when we quarrel, my MIL will listen outside and later pretend to be peacemaker and tell my hubby to give in to me.
My hubby also very idiot one. WHen she does that and we quarrel over his mum, he said his mum got ask him to give in to me when we quarrel. Tell me don't think so negative of his mum. But if in the first place she don't add oil n vinegar, we wouldn't have quarrel. I feel that she's so fake loh.
So I learnt to counter her behavior nowadays. I choose not to quarrel so that she cannot be the "good guy" anymore. So when she bad mouths me again, hubby will stand up for me cos I always choose to leave his mum out of the pic. Her plan backfire so nowadays she gets back at me by giving black face n all the nonsense behavior loh. Tiring man, all the mind games n emotional battle...
I so scare all these battles later she'll involve my gal in. U know lah, children so innocent. Haiz...
Zu-en, Don't worry so much ok? Wait for the scan 2 wks later. Sometimes baby will speed up their growth in the later stage. I know one mama in May thread, her baby also small, but within 1 wk, the weight suddenly shot up.
Ladies,
Thanks so much for the encouragement. Trying to stay positive and act blur at home loh. But I think I dunno how to put my sentences correctly in front of the counselor plus hubby ard, I don't dare to openly badmouth my MIL cos I scare he really gets put off. In the end the counselor said let MIL try. Haiz. That's why I really went to brainstorm for ways to get my MIL to surrender herself. So scared she'll bring up my child in the wrong way. I keep telling hubby I wanna put our gal in childcare by 18 mths, then he so worried of baby falling sick. I think the way my MIL handles her life, my baby prolly fall sick more often under her hands than childcare loh.
Ellysia, Yah, I read of your story before. Reminds me of my gf.. Her paternal grandma also caused alot of havoc in her house. When her mum gave birth to her bro, her paternal grandma went to tell her that her mum hates her, that's why they have another baby. Causing her to hate her mum when young. And her grandma very scary one, she'll teach her how to go against her own mum, buy those forbidden food like snacks for her and teach her to keep inside her drawer so that her mum dunno.
On top of that, she also sow discord between the couple. Her parents almost divorce becos of her grandma also.
I dunno why these ppl so evil. I keep on trying to comfort myself my MIL is not that bad. Cos everytime she always act naive in front of us. But time to time I witness her actions behind my back.
If something I did not pleasing to her eyes, honestly I wouldn't mind if she says out loud then to hold it and start gossiping abt me to hubby and FIL. Then hubby will keep quiet cos he will want to evaluate things himself. But once somethings strikes, he always brings up his mum says this and that. I feel so angry loh. And when we quarrel, my MIL will listen outside and later pretend to be peacemaker and tell my hubby to give in to me.
My hubby also very idiot one. WHen she does that and we quarrel over his mum, he said his mum got ask him to give in to me when we quarrel. Tell me don't think so negative of his mum. But if in the first place she don't add oil n vinegar, we wouldn't have quarrel. I feel that she's so fake loh.
So I learnt to counter her behavior nowadays. I choose not to quarrel so that she cannot be the "good guy" anymore. So when she bad mouths me again, hubby will stand up for me cos I always choose to leave his mum out of the pic. Her plan backfire so nowadays she gets back at me by giving black face n all the nonsense behavior loh. Tiring man, all the mind games n emotional battle...
I so scare all these battles later she'll involve my gal in. U know lah, children so innocent. Haiz...
crystal~07
Active Member
zuen,
i m not too certain abt the appropriate name for tis scan, jus know it is to chk the growth for bb, though i heard one of the nurse mention "doppler" but no one tells me directly. i also targetting at least a 2kg for bb gwen now. currently, no intention to switch to govt hospital yet cos keeping fingers crossed tat bb gwen can beefed up to at least 2kg (vari of 0.4kg) before birth, then we can bypass the NICU.
veniz,
yur fren's case is so sad. is she alrite now? dun understand y her hb has to divorce her over her MC. not entirely her fault also n at tat time, she would need her hb's support then most, how can he jus divorce her like tat? so inhuman. bb no more, can try again mah...haizzz...
i m not too certain abt the appropriate name for tis scan, jus know it is to chk the growth for bb, though i heard one of the nurse mention "doppler" but no one tells me directly. i also targetting at least a 2kg for bb gwen now. currently, no intention to switch to govt hospital yet cos keeping fingers crossed tat bb gwen can beefed up to at least 2kg (vari of 0.4kg) before birth, then we can bypass the NICU.
veniz,
yur fren's case is so sad. is she alrite now? dun understand y her hb has to divorce her over her MC. not entirely her fault also n at tat time, she would need her hb's support then most, how can he jus divorce her like tat? so inhuman. bb no more, can try again mah...haizzz...
Kelcqi, good thing is your new flat is coming soon. then can move out. Hmm.. actually ah, if your MIL starts looking after the bb, what happens eventually when your new flat comes? Will you bring your MIL to your home? Or you will shuttle between your MIL's home and your own home? Will you seriously consider giving up your job in the meantime? Putting bb in childcare is not cheap too you know...
Cactus,
I dun think I have gestational diabetes, but I have family history. I guessed moderation is the word.. Bb ZuEn is only 1kg at 30weeks. The initiate hope that she hit 2kg at point fo birth looks so far away now. I only hope that she will reach 1.5kg now.
Crystal,
I was feeling really upset yday too. Asking myself why am I the 1% who develop preggy complications when the rest of you gers are sailing thru' 3rd trimester without major issues. When I read the posts this morning, I really feel encouraged to noe that I am not the only one. Dun get me wrong, not that I am happie that others are suffering like me, but it convinces me that it is not within my control. It is very difficult to share with people who are not preggy or have smooth pregnancy. My colleagues just kept asking me to eat more, but it is not an issue of eating more or less.
Jia you bb gwen. Let's keep everything crossed.
Re: Boss
I just told my boss about my preggy complications. She reacted ok. Apparently, she already heard from my other preggy colleague that bb ZuEn is not growing well. So, she has mentally prepared to let me go anytime. So, one barrier crossed. Now have to start to clear outstanding work, prepare handover and pack my office for shifting.
I dun think I have gestational diabetes, but I have family history. I guessed moderation is the word.. Bb ZuEn is only 1kg at 30weeks. The initiate hope that she hit 2kg at point fo birth looks so far away now. I only hope that she will reach 1.5kg now.
Crystal,
I was feeling really upset yday too. Asking myself why am I the 1% who develop preggy complications when the rest of you gers are sailing thru' 3rd trimester without major issues. When I read the posts this morning, I really feel encouraged to noe that I am not the only one. Dun get me wrong, not that I am happie that others are suffering like me, but it convinces me that it is not within my control. It is very difficult to share with people who are not preggy or have smooth pregnancy. My colleagues just kept asking me to eat more, but it is not an issue of eating more or less.
Jia you bb gwen. Let's keep everything crossed.
Re: Boss
I just told my boss about my preggy complications. She reacted ok. Apparently, she already heard from my other preggy colleague that bb ZuEn is not growing well. So, she has mentally prepared to let me go anytime. So, one barrier crossed. Now have to start to clear outstanding work, prepare handover and pack my office for shifting.
feliciarosey
Active Member
crystal,
Ya, lets ur 'jia you' together!
From my previous scan till today, i had been trying not to think too much on this issue, as i believe we 'preggie mum' need to be happy , so that our bb can grow well. So, i had one more week to go before my next scan, juz hopefully by then my bb can catch up oth June's babies.
Ya, lets ur 'jia you' together!
From my previous scan till today, i had been trying not to think too much on this issue, as i believe we 'preggie mum' need to be happy , so that our bb can grow well. So, i had one more week to go before my next scan, juz hopefully by then my bb can catch up oth June's babies.
crystal...My bb also only weighted 1.6-1.7kg at wk 31 though he was already 1.4kg at wk 29, hence he only put on 300gram in 2 wks but gynae said everything is perfectly normal...like wat TF mentioned, 1.6kg on our weight chart is normal...so dun worry, bb gwen will be fine
Doppler is to measure both sides blood flow to the womb, you will be able to see coloured areas on the screen and also gynae will be able to measure the exact blood flow to womb. So far, on my every visit, my gynae will use his doppler and measure my blood flow, luckily he doesnt charge me at all for this...
iamsnow and felicia.. your little ones will all grow big and strong. Jia you and dun give up!
Zuen.. good to hear your boss is well.. now start preparing for your handover and stay positive. Tell bb Zuen you love her
Doppler is to measure both sides blood flow to the womb, you will be able to see coloured areas on the screen and also gynae will be able to measure the exact blood flow to womb. So far, on my every visit, my gynae will use his doppler and measure my blood flow, luckily he doesnt charge me at all for this...
iamsnow and felicia.. your little ones will all grow big and strong. Jia you and dun give up!
Zuen.. good to hear your boss is well.. now start preparing for your handover and stay positive. Tell bb Zuen you love her
Hi Zuen & Crystal, in fact for my friend's case, her hubby divorce with her, the MC of her child is one factor, coz before this 'going into x-ray room without knowing she preggie' case, she MC once before coz baby no heartbeat. also just nice, after a few mths, he got to hook on with another woman from his co, and got carried away, putting lots of blame on his wife. He is quite nice guy, but just too bad, some outside woman also come in between them.
Crystal, about Mdm Sunita, I think its ok, coz only thinking of doing 1 pre-natal massage, but now after much thought, I can also dun do it lor. Thanks for your offer.
Crystal, about Mdm Sunita, I think its ok, coz only thinking of doing 1 pre-natal massage, but now after much thought, I can also dun do it lor. Thanks for your offer.
crystal~07
Active Member
zuen / felicia,
yes! let's all "jia-you" 2gether wif our bbs. m sure they r all going to be fine...hmmmm...maybe next time can get them all to be frens n then tell them how we mummies support each other thru out while having them....hahahahaa....
zuen,
u sure r not alone cos now n then we r also having hiccups in our preg too, jus some of us slightly more complicated than others, tat's all. at least we tok abt it n not so worried. imagine if we dun n keep all these to ourselves, we prob end up in depression or wat's worse. rite? bb zuen has come a long long way n she had survived thru the toughest. now final lapse liao, sure she will make it...okie? hugs...
roxy,
u so gd, yur gynae use doppler machine for u at every visit. mine gynae dun ve tis machine, oni the usual tummy scan n v-scan, so she would normally send me to her colleague for OSCAR & DS, so guess tis scan is no difference lor. thanks for your input on wat this growth scan is abt. it reai helps...
was jus telling hb tat wif tis scan, another $200+ down the drain for me again...
jojo,
honestly, i ven't had the oppty to try mdm sunita myself although my MIL & her fren had & this is recommended by my MIL. so shd be gd lar, tat's y i booked her for my confinement massage lor.
yes! let's all "jia-you" 2gether wif our bbs. m sure they r all going to be fine...hmmmm...maybe next time can get them all to be frens n then tell them how we mummies support each other thru out while having them....hahahahaa....
zuen,
u sure r not alone cos now n then we r also having hiccups in our preg too, jus some of us slightly more complicated than others, tat's all. at least we tok abt it n not so worried. imagine if we dun n keep all these to ourselves, we prob end up in depression or wat's worse. rite? bb zuen has come a long long way n she had survived thru the toughest. now final lapse liao, sure she will make it...okie? hugs...
roxy,
u so gd, yur gynae use doppler machine for u at every visit. mine gynae dun ve tis machine, oni the usual tummy scan n v-scan, so she would normally send me to her colleague for OSCAR & DS, so guess tis scan is no difference lor. thanks for your input on wat this growth scan is abt. it reai helps...
jojo,
honestly, i ven't had the oppty to try mdm sunita myself although my MIL & her fren had & this is recommended by my MIL. so shd be gd lar, tat's y i booked her for my confinement massage lor.
crystal~07
Active Member
hi gers,
promised previously tat i will post my detailed hospital bill for reference here shd i get it. well, my hospital had adviced as follows oreadi - for your reference...
Epi C-Sec: $2518
NB Nursery Care: $430
Est Doc Fees: $1680
Daily Attendance Fees: $450 ($150*3days)
PD's Daily Attendance Fees: $300 ($100*3days)
PD's OT Fee: $200
Anaesthetist's Fee: $800
TOTAL: $6,378
Less Medisave Claimable: $3,200 ($2750+$450)
Bal out of Pocket Cost: $3,178
ps: nurse had advice tat tis is oni a close estimation further tat there is no overstaying of the 3 days as well as bb / mummy do not develop any complications.
promised previously tat i will post my detailed hospital bill for reference here shd i get it. well, my hospital had adviced as follows oreadi - for your reference...
Epi C-Sec: $2518
NB Nursery Care: $430
Est Doc Fees: $1680
Daily Attendance Fees: $450 ($150*3days)
PD's Daily Attendance Fees: $300 ($100*3days)
PD's OT Fee: $200
Anaesthetist's Fee: $800
TOTAL: $6,378
Less Medisave Claimable: $3,200 ($2750+$450)
Bal out of Pocket Cost: $3,178
ps: nurse had advice tat tis is oni a close estimation further tat there is no overstaying of the 3 days as well as bb / mummy do not develop any complications.
Crystal, Yours is from which hospital?
Catcus,
I'm not working now already cos mine was part time so I resigned to rest at home since the pregnancy kinda difficult with all the preterm contractions.
Thankfully we got only 3rm flat, no room for my MIL to move in. Last time she wanted us to get 5 rm, so that they can move in, I refused to say anything. Cos I worried if get 5rm, financially will be very tough given that hubby still have to support them and their spending habits, plus all the installments we need to pay if we get a bigger house. I told hubby to keep the cost low so that we'll have more cash on hand. Of cos back of my mind, I planned it tt way so that they can't move in cos no extra room. Keke...
But I hope they will not come n tell hubby to give them a set of our house keys cos I dun like the idea of them helping themselves to our home without notice. Alot of times my MIL just open our door without knocking I'm already keeping quiet. I can't imagine my own house getting invaded by her.
Catcus,
I'm not working now already cos mine was part time so I resigned to rest at home since the pregnancy kinda difficult with all the preterm contractions.
Thankfully we got only 3rm flat, no room for my MIL to move in. Last time she wanted us to get 5 rm, so that they can move in, I refused to say anything. Cos I worried if get 5rm, financially will be very tough given that hubby still have to support them and their spending habits, plus all the installments we need to pay if we get a bigger house. I told hubby to keep the cost low so that we'll have more cash on hand. Of cos back of my mind, I planned it tt way so that they can't move in cos no extra room. Keke...
But I hope they will not come n tell hubby to give them a set of our house keys cos I dun like the idea of them helping themselves to our home without notice. Alot of times my MIL just open our door without knocking I'm already keeping quiet. I can't imagine my own house getting invaded by her.
Kelcqi, my MIL is like you. enter room without knocking the door.. but I just close one eye lah...cos after all, we're still staying in her home. hb and I did discuss what to do if MIL wants house keys. at first, I didn't want to give, then decided the reason for not giving is cos I want privacy. So hb and I struck a compromise - we will give house keys but make it clear to her that she must call up before she comes. If not, we will change the lock and won't give her new house keys. maybe u and ur hb can do the same also.
Catcus,
I'll be looking after baby for 6 mths before I go back to work force. I gave the excuse to hubby and MIL that I want to BF my gal for 6 mths at least. But 6 mths later haiz, will be under my MIL care. I think I'll "se bu de". Plus that period of time already less feeding at nite, my MIL more relaxed liao. Might be hard to get her to admit defeat herself.
So I think from 2nd or 3rd mth, I'll leave the baby with her over weekends. Let her have no rest, hopefully she admit defeat cos every nite at least 2-3 times feeding. Make her tired tired. See she wanna surrender or not. But if my plan backfires, sigh...
I came up with the plan cos I know she complaint queen. likely to complain to hubby very siong etc, den I can use the excuse to say since she can't cope, we find babysitter.
I'll be looking after baby for 6 mths before I go back to work force. I gave the excuse to hubby and MIL that I want to BF my gal for 6 mths at least. But 6 mths later haiz, will be under my MIL care. I think I'll "se bu de". Plus that period of time already less feeding at nite, my MIL more relaxed liao. Might be hard to get her to admit defeat herself.
So I think from 2nd or 3rd mth, I'll leave the baby with her over weekends. Let her have no rest, hopefully she admit defeat cos every nite at least 2-3 times feeding. Make her tired tired. See she wanna surrender or not. But if my plan backfires, sigh...
I came up with the plan cos I know she complaint queen. likely to complain to hubby very siong etc, den I can use the excuse to say since she can't cope, we find babysitter.
hi gals ! been busy today !!
Mongudog/Zuen/Crystal : do stay strong and positive for your little ones !!! it will all turn out fine ok ??? we're all here to give you "online" moral support !!!
Re PIS, i'll prob get it online la ... easier for me, since i hardly go to town nowadays and it's hard to confirm which model is which over the phone.
After hearing all the horror MIL stories, i'm so glad my PILs are in KL !!! heehee
But to be honest, my MIL is actually quite a dear, and she cares a lot abt me, just that perhaps as a non-blood relative, she doesnt know how to show concern "properly" - i think a lot of times, there are alwaes mis communications between DIL and MILs which fuel all these horror stories.
Hang in there gals !!!
Mongudog/Zuen/Crystal : do stay strong and positive for your little ones !!! it will all turn out fine ok ??? we're all here to give you "online" moral support !!!
Re PIS, i'll prob get it online la ... easier for me, since i hardly go to town nowadays and it's hard to confirm which model is which over the phone.
After hearing all the horror MIL stories, i'm so glad my PILs are in KL !!! heehee
But to be honest, my MIL is actually quite a dear, and she cares a lot abt me, just that perhaps as a non-blood relative, she doesnt know how to show concern "properly" - i think a lot of times, there are alwaes mis communications between DIL and MILs which fuel all these horror stories.
Hang in there gals !!!
Kelcqi, to tell you the truth, your MIL will not admit defeat. old people like that lah. quite stubborn. she will probably not look after your daughter well. Personally, I will worry loh... alot of old people resort to stuffing bb's mouth with honey, sugar water, pacifier, or put into the electric yao lan/basket.. all these are not very good for bb. You must be mentally prepared that your plan will backfire, or she will ask for maid. cos I feel , no matter what, relative look after with maid's help is better that outsider (babysitter) looking after with no supervision. from the bottom of my heart.
Catcus,
U said the same thing as my hubby wor. He also feels that way, but I've seen very caring and responsible caregivers, but not easy to find though... Plus I keep thinking, outsiders at least if you tell them what you want for your kids, they will not use so much of their "theories" on you. That's the reason why I choose to trust outsiders.
My MIL keep saying how "experienced" she was last time. Her kids all in very gd hands. But hor, I think otherwise. Cos my hubby and his bro didn't have gd health from young. I keep feeling tt it's she who dunno how to take care.
My hubby and I are against the Yao Lan idea. So I think my MIL wouldn't dare to have it. But Honey all these I dunno leh. My worry is the food. Cos MIL so lazy, she herself hungry can even go on hunger strike so that we all will be guilty and tabao for her. But babies? Later ended up my gal both meals all outside food how?
If she asked for maid, I'll pull out the baby. I told hubby already. I use all the cost factor to make sure she don't get it. Her way of behavior, prolly later can even drive the maid to suicide.
U said the same thing as my hubby wor. He also feels that way, but I've seen very caring and responsible caregivers, but not easy to find though... Plus I keep thinking, outsiders at least if you tell them what you want for your kids, they will not use so much of their "theories" on you. That's the reason why I choose to trust outsiders.
My MIL keep saying how "experienced" she was last time. Her kids all in very gd hands. But hor, I think otherwise. Cos my hubby and his bro didn't have gd health from young. I keep feeling tt it's she who dunno how to take care.
My hubby and I are against the Yao Lan idea. So I think my MIL wouldn't dare to have it. But Honey all these I dunno leh. My worry is the food. Cos MIL so lazy, she herself hungry can even go on hunger strike so that we all will be guilty and tabao for her. But babies? Later ended up my gal both meals all outside food how?
If she asked for maid, I'll pull out the baby. I told hubby already. I use all the cost factor to make sure she don't get it. Her way of behavior, prolly later can even drive the maid to suicide.
actually, honestly lah.... parents and PILs may do things we don't like them to do BEHIND OUR BACKS. no kidding you. The best caregivers are actually us. It's hard to find very caring and responsible caregivers. Further, they may change over the years. My MIL loves my SIL's son alot.. but there are practises which are not good for him... like feed him cake at 4pm.. where got appetitie for dinner at 6pm? Then, give him prawn b efore he is 1 year old.. feed him honey before 1 year old.. give him fruit before meal times.. (sweet, how to eat food)? But all this, I didn't complain cos not my son. But my hb knows his mom is not a good caregiver although she loves children alot. she is not able to lah. all this my SIL also never see.. cos she is busy at work...
crystal~07
Active Member
kelcqi,
mine is at raffles hospital, btw, cost is for a 1-bedded rm.
cactus,
frm the look of it, i dun think kelcqi's MIL will be so ci-dong. even if kelcqi or her hb tell MIL to call 1st then pop up, my gut feel is tat her MIL will ignore tat request n jus open door to kelcqi's hse anytime she likes so long she ve their hse keys...
ioio,
no worries, we r all here to share...
mine is at raffles hospital, btw, cost is for a 1-bedded rm.
cactus,
frm the look of it, i dun think kelcqi's MIL will be so ci-dong. even if kelcqi or her hb tell MIL to call 1st then pop up, my gut feel is tat her MIL will ignore tat request n jus open door to kelcqi's hse anytime she likes so long she ve their hse keys...
ioio,
no worries, we r all here to share...
crystal, if that happens, just change locks and don't give new keys loh. I didn't want to give keys in the first place. my hb suggested if she comes in by herself, then we will change locks. so in the end, I agree. Cos I think it is fair. old people want security esp if they have little money and never worked before. they want to feel "wanted" by their kids, so it's okay to give them keys but they must still respect their kids' privacy.. that's how I feel.
ellysia
Active Member
back from appt with gynae, bb is now 1.9KG @ 32 weeks. Me gain 11KG ored. scared to gain too much weight on myself.
Then today the traffic police called and ask me to go down to their office to make the witness statement.. told them i am preggy can change to neighbourhood police post or not.. they like not v willing. sianz.
Then today the traffic police called and ask me to go down to their office to make the witness statement.. told them i am preggy can change to neighbourhood police post or not.. they like not v willing. sianz.
Ellysia, no lah. 11kg at 32 weeks is ok. I gained 10 kg at 28 weeks leh!! Back then, my bb was 1kg. my doctor told me it's 50th percentile. He said bb will be about 1.8kg at 32 weeks so seems like your bb is growing well!
I think you should go to police station lah. later they serve warrant of arrest on you then chaim leh. don't worry. nothing to pantang about k. you are being good citizen. bb will be proud of you.
I think you should go to police station lah. later they serve warrant of arrest on you then chaim leh. don't worry. nothing to pantang about k. you are being good citizen. bb will be proud of you.
ellysia
Active Member
Kelcqi,
If economically not feasible, tink no need to quit the job but ask yr parents for help lor. NO point quitting job just bec of this.
Btw is yr MIL emotional unstable? Looks like she seems to have a bit of depression, from the way u describe her.
Although tat time when i am young, my paternal grandma and aunt did try to influence me against my mum, but my mum keep telling me to stick close to her lor. So i wasn't really bothered but its kindda confused for a kid cos few adults are asking me to "side with them".. Then i am the quiet type, i won't say out any unhappiness unless someting really wrong.
If economically not feasible, tink no need to quit the job but ask yr parents for help lor. NO point quitting job just bec of this.
Btw is yr MIL emotional unstable? Looks like she seems to have a bit of depression, from the way u describe her.
Although tat time when i am young, my paternal grandma and aunt did try to influence me against my mum, but my mum keep telling me to stick close to her lor. So i wasn't really bothered but its kindda confused for a kid cos few adults are asking me to "side with them".. Then i am the quiet type, i won't say out any unhappiness unless someting really wrong.
hi crystal
Yes, my initial gynae didnt do that for me.. so am glad we switched to this gynae.. The $200 is $ well spent!!
hi kelcqi
Think it's better if you dun give your PIL a set of keys to your house. From the sound of it, they might just decide to come and stay and invade your privacy. If your hubby gives them keys, then perhaps you put an extra lock on your house so they cannot come in... I know this sounds very mean but I think their character deserves drastic measures. My PILs have a set of keys to our place also but luckily they are very nice people, only drop by to leave food or tonics for us when we are not around...
Yes, my initial gynae didnt do that for me.. so am glad we switched to this gynae.. The $200 is $ well spent!!
hi kelcqi
Think it's better if you dun give your PIL a set of keys to your house. From the sound of it, they might just decide to come and stay and invade your privacy. If your hubby gives them keys, then perhaps you put an extra lock on your house so they cannot come in... I know this sounds very mean but I think their character deserves drastic measures. My PILs have a set of keys to our place also but luckily they are very nice people, only drop by to leave food or tonics for us when we are not around...
Kelcqi, I think you need to discuss with your hb what to do. Later like roxy say, hb gives her keys, then there's little you can do. If you put extra lock, your hb may be upset with you cos it defeats his purpose. If they come in unwanted, is there anything you and your hb are prepared to do? Change locks? add lock?
crystal~07
Active Member
cactus,
scarely later kelcqi's hb dun wan to chng locks even if his MIL comes in uninvited, kelcqi also cant do anything & will instead strain r/ship b/w her n hb. the last thing i think any of us wan is to feel insecure in our own hm, like anytime the front door will open like tat. i may sounds reai mean but i would advice tat kelcqi shd not even give a set of her new hse keys to her ILs to avoid further problems.
my own MIL has a set of my hse keys cos hb gave to her then but it was on mutal agreement tat my dad has a set of my hse keys as well. so far both sets of parents have not misplace the trust we place in them wif the keys as in they will call 1st before coming over. the keys is for them to safekeep for us or rather help us look after our hse when we r out of town, etc, thus so far ok.
in kelcqi's situation, i would think giving her ILs the keys defeat the above purpose. well....we could discuss till whenever but kelcqi would still ve to decide on her own the best solution to this cos she & her hb have to face the parents / ILs....
scarely later kelcqi's hb dun wan to chng locks even if his MIL comes in uninvited, kelcqi also cant do anything & will instead strain r/ship b/w her n hb. the last thing i think any of us wan is to feel insecure in our own hm, like anytime the front door will open like tat. i may sounds reai mean but i would advice tat kelcqi shd not even give a set of her new hse keys to her ILs to avoid further problems.
my own MIL has a set of my hse keys cos hb gave to her then but it was on mutal agreement tat my dad has a set of my hse keys as well. so far both sets of parents have not misplace the trust we place in them wif the keys as in they will call 1st before coming over. the keys is for them to safekeep for us or rather help us look after our hse when we r out of town, etc, thus so far ok.
in kelcqi's situation, i would think giving her ILs the keys defeat the above purpose. well....we could discuss till whenever but kelcqi would still ve to decide on her own the best solution to this cos she & her hb have to face the parents / ILs....
ellysia
Active Member
OH ya gynae did say bb weight is just nice. cos me is around 32.5 weeks
and bb head has already face down, gynae said likely to remain tat position.
Then i told her abt my contractions, she said a few is normal but too much may lead to preterm labour so she gave me some tablets just in case.
Then i also ask her why i feel pain at virginal recently esp when walking. she said cos my bb head is downwards liao so he adding pressure thus will feel pain.
Also no wonder i feel so uncomfy when bb hiccup is bec his head will bump at my buttock/bottom whenever he hiccup.
and bb head has already face down, gynae said likely to remain tat position.
Then i told her abt my contractions, she said a few is normal but too much may lead to preterm labour so she gave me some tablets just in case.
Then i also ask her why i feel pain at virginal recently esp when walking. she said cos my bb head is downwards liao so he adding pressure thus will feel pain.
Also no wonder i feel so uncomfy when bb hiccup is bec his head will bump at my buttock/bottom whenever he hiccup.
ellysia
Active Member
Re: Locks/giving keys to MIL
When me and hb first get our house, we did discuss abt this topic. Hb wanted to give his parents our house keys reason in case we are not around or overseas.. but i told hb we are seldom overseas so there is no need to pass keys to parents.. and moreoever, i dun want to pass keys to my parents so likewise, he shd do the same too.. it makes me feel more confident that someone is not touching our house stuff just when we are not around.
When me and hb first get our house, we did discuss abt this topic. Hb wanted to give his parents our house keys reason in case we are not around or overseas.. but i told hb we are seldom overseas so there is no need to pass keys to parents.. and moreoever, i dun want to pass keys to my parents so likewise, he shd do the same too.. it makes me feel more confident that someone is not touching our house stuff just when we are not around.
Crystal, I'm see your point. But I think if her hb want to give keys in the first place, if she's unwilling, will also strain her relationship with him.. the best is to talk and compromise if possible, I feel. all these boils down to intention. what her hb's intention is. if buy giving house key, the intention is to give his mom, access, then it is conflict with what she wants. if hb's intention is to make his mom feel secure, then maybe not that bad? I dun know leh.. my hb's intention is to let his mom feel secure...
ellysia
Active Member
cactus,
seems like bb may start to "lock" their position around 32 weeks becos bb has less space to move around at this time, unlikely head can move upwards since no space to move much.
HIs back is facing my tummy (against tummy) and legs at my right side upper part, gynae said he can only turn left or turn right so his legs may be left or right side sometimes.
No wonder i see movements on my tummy recently, shifting from left to right and vice versa.
seems like bb may start to "lock" their position around 32 weeks becos bb has less space to move around at this time, unlikely head can move upwards since no space to move much.
HIs back is facing my tummy (against tummy) and legs at my right side upper part, gynae said he can only turn left or turn right so his legs may be left or right side sometimes.
No wonder i see movements on my tummy recently, shifting from left to right and vice versa.
crystal~07
Active Member
cactus,
yes, i agree wif u on yur stand too. so kelcqi will reai ve to discuss wif her hb lor. maybe both of us r luckier in the sense whereby our MILs know where their sons' (aks our hbs) limits r n wun take it further but kelcqi's MIL doesnt seem to know tat n come across to me as reai reai dramatic. if i were kelcqi, i would ve throw in towel long ago liao cos when faced wif such pple, i sure flare one...i also not very good tempered type...kekekekee...
yes, i agree wif u on yur stand too. so kelcqi will reai ve to discuss wif her hb lor. maybe both of us r luckier in the sense whereby our MILs know where their sons' (aks our hbs) limits r n wun take it further but kelcqi's MIL doesnt seem to know tat n come across to me as reai reai dramatic. if i were kelcqi, i would ve throw in towel long ago liao cos when faced wif such pple, i sure flare one...i also not very good tempered type...kekekekee...
So lucky, Ellysia! Your boy so guai! This is apparently the easiest position (if that can actually be said!!) for natural childbirth. Back is against tummy head down is the best position leh! I hope mine is like that too. At 24 and 28 weeks, bb's back was against my back...
Crystal, my hb's temper not good. and my MIL is scared of him. my hb is not mommy's boy but is considered quite fillial although he has always put my needs before his mom's needs.. maybe also cos he knows I'm not that demanding and we always manage to talk through issues.. like the house key issue.. go to the root of why I dun want MIL to have keys, he agrees with the root, but doesn't want to "abandon" his mom, so compromise is give key but MIL better not come unannounced or hb will change lock.. haha!
ellysia
Active Member
crystal,
I tink kelcqi's MIL seems to appear as suffering from depression from her dramatic ways lor..
Actually my mum also tend to be dramatic at times.. a bit like kelcqi's MIL but not that bad. Sometimes i also cannot tahan but i am v fierce lah.. so my mum end up have to accomodate though she will use some dramatic ways lor.
I tink kelcqi's MIL seems to appear as suffering from depression from her dramatic ways lor..
Actually my mum also tend to be dramatic at times.. a bit like kelcqi's MIL but not that bad. Sometimes i also cannot tahan but i am v fierce lah.. so my mum end up have to accomodate though she will use some dramatic ways lor.
ellysia
Active Member
cactus,
Just check with hb.. seems like not v sure whether bb back is against my back or tummy.
Anyway gynae said although bb head is downwards, he has not move further down so no signs of pre-term labour so far.
Oh yes and scan show the umbilical cord is not around the neck so we get less worried. phew.
Just check with hb.. seems like not v sure whether bb back is against my back or tummy.
Anyway gynae said although bb head is downwards, he has not move further down so no signs of pre-term labour so far.
Oh yes and scan show the umbilical cord is not around the neck so we get less worried. phew.
feliciarosey
Active Member
ladies,
Really had a busy day today, but suddenly feel bit chest pain and had to take deep breath, only then feel much better.
Luckily goin off soon.
Really had a busy day today, but suddenly feel bit chest pain and had to take deep breath, only then feel much better.
Luckily goin off soon.
crystal~07
Active Member
cactus,
lucky u!
my MIL will push to limits at times to c how far she can go wif us. if can give in, i give in lar, if cannot, then i also counter back lor by toking n discussing wif hb 1st on y i feel so adamant on a particular issue, then hb will tell her tat it is his decision lor (so she will shut up).
the last esp when MIL tries to be funni was my confinement issue. now the latest is the naming of my bb. she had her chance at naming her kids (aka my hb & SIL), she herself told me before tat she dun allow her MIL to name my hb n SIL, hence they dun follow the "zu pu" but now double std when hb n me want name our bb, she keeps saying the name not nice, etc etc when we tested 1 chinese name wif her. so after discussion wif hb yd nite, we came to an agreement tat to avoid all conflicts, we will decide on the chinese name (after the master proposed) & register the name on BC, then tell both sets of grandparents. if anyone of them dun like, then too bad. like my MIL tat day comment say the english name we choose for our bb is too complicated, she dunno how to pronouce, know what my 6-yr old nephew tells her before i get to reply? "ah mah, u cannot say gwendolyn, then call her gwen gwen lor..., easy" hahahaha.....tat reai shuts up my MIL. even my hb grinned when he heard tat from his nephew....HAHAHAHAHA.....
lucky u!
the last esp when MIL tries to be funni was my confinement issue. now the latest is the naming of my bb. she had her chance at naming her kids (aka my hb & SIL), she herself told me before tat she dun allow her MIL to name my hb n SIL, hence they dun follow the "zu pu" but now double std when hb n me want name our bb, she keeps saying the name not nice, etc etc when we tested 1 chinese name wif her. so after discussion wif hb yd nite, we came to an agreement tat to avoid all conflicts, we will decide on the chinese name (after the master proposed) & register the name on BC, then tell both sets of grandparents. if anyone of them dun like, then too bad. like my MIL tat day comment say the english name we choose for our bb is too complicated, she dunno how to pronouce, know what my 6-yr old nephew tells her before i get to reply? "ah mah, u cannot say gwendolyn, then call her gwen gwen lor..., easy" hahahaha.....tat reai shuts up my MIL. even my hb grinned when he heard tat from his nephew....HAHAHAHAHA.....
Ellysia, when bb is engaged, you can ask your doctor. our bbs will eventually turn (during labour) to face downwards, but if it is already facing downwards (towards your spine), then you won't have lower back pain during labour and that is very very good! I'm hoping my bb is guai guai!
32.5 weeks is a long way to come! don't worry too much about pre-term labour. Shldn't happen anytime soon. lots of bbs born after 28 weeks are perfectly healthy. just need more care.
Felicia - do take care. I also had chest pain past few days. very breathless last night and today so taking things very slowly today.
32.5 weeks is a long way to come! don't worry too much about pre-term labour. Shldn't happen anytime soon. lots of bbs born after 28 weeks are perfectly healthy. just need more care.
Felicia - do take care. I also had chest pain past few days. very breathless last night and today so taking things very slowly today.