Hi Tute,
Have you tried to find out from C what happens in school? Maybe ask probing questions like do you read or sing or dance or paint? I realised when I ask general questions like "how's school?" "what do you do in school?" - it's hard for their 3yo brains to process that and answer you. So, I have to ask "did Aunty Nellie read a story today? what was it abt?" and lead on from there.
Some kids may take longer to adjust to school esp if it's first time gg. K took more than 1 month to get used to Pat's but with SJCK, she is so happy to go, maybe cos the anxiety of new environment has eased up, she is "experienced" so to speak. School bus definitely helps to make the experience fun!
I think maybe finding out what's happening in school and what is it that makes him anxious will help.
re: values, money etc
I learnt something useful from an experienced parent this weekend. A friend of mine has a daughter in P5 in a top school. His dd is in the top class. One day, she came to him and asked for permission to open FB account. Her whole class has FB accounts. My friend told her to go and think of 10 good reasons why she should have FB and 10 reasons why not. 3 days later, she came back. Of cos she didn't have all the reasons but she reasoned out with my friend and came to her own conclusion that FB is not good idea for her at this age. How did my friend do it? How did he bring up his dd to withstand peer pressure?
He told me FB is just 1 small issue. There were many many issues e.g her whole class, almost everyone had an iPhone. His dd has to use payphone if she needs to call home. They stood firm from the beginning on every issue. He admitted it's easy to take the easy way out - just succumb to her and let her have whatever it is...be it iphone, FB etc. His tactic is to reason with her. Ask her to think through the issue and use opportune moments to talk to her. One day, they were at Popular, she saw one book about a young girl who was disfigured and raped by a man she met on FB. He seized on the opportunity to talk to his dd abt the consequences of managing FB acc. She admitted that she is not mature enough at this point to handle the consequences. I thought my friend did such a good job in bringing up his kids.
But I recognise that everything we do we have to put in the extra effort. I am myself guilty of being an armchair parent nowadays. With work and housework pressures, we are so tired at the end of the day, no time, no energy to correct the chidren. Not even time or patience to ask them to pick up after themselves (Yup Iso, I agree with you, too tired to push them. They pick up one thing and then distracted by other things, end up playing with more things. aiyah.) If no time to even do this, how to have time for important issues.
So tonight, I will start with small things and try to put effort to address those issues.
Have you tried to find out from C what happens in school? Maybe ask probing questions like do you read or sing or dance or paint? I realised when I ask general questions like "how's school?" "what do you do in school?" - it's hard for their 3yo brains to process that and answer you. So, I have to ask "did Aunty Nellie read a story today? what was it abt?" and lead on from there.
Some kids may take longer to adjust to school esp if it's first time gg. K took more than 1 month to get used to Pat's but with SJCK, she is so happy to go, maybe cos the anxiety of new environment has eased up, she is "experienced" so to speak. School bus definitely helps to make the experience fun!
I think maybe finding out what's happening in school and what is it that makes him anxious will help.
re: values, money etc
I learnt something useful from an experienced parent this weekend. A friend of mine has a daughter in P5 in a top school. His dd is in the top class. One day, she came to him and asked for permission to open FB account. Her whole class has FB accounts. My friend told her to go and think of 10 good reasons why she should have FB and 10 reasons why not. 3 days later, she came back. Of cos she didn't have all the reasons but she reasoned out with my friend and came to her own conclusion that FB is not good idea for her at this age. How did my friend do it? How did he bring up his dd to withstand peer pressure?
He told me FB is just 1 small issue. There were many many issues e.g her whole class, almost everyone had an iPhone. His dd has to use payphone if she needs to call home. They stood firm from the beginning on every issue. He admitted it's easy to take the easy way out - just succumb to her and let her have whatever it is...be it iphone, FB etc. His tactic is to reason with her. Ask her to think through the issue and use opportune moments to talk to her. One day, they were at Popular, she saw one book about a young girl who was disfigured and raped by a man she met on FB. He seized on the opportunity to talk to his dd abt the consequences of managing FB acc. She admitted that she is not mature enough at this point to handle the consequences. I thought my friend did such a good job in bringing up his kids.
But I recognise that everything we do we have to put in the extra effort. I am myself guilty of being an armchair parent nowadays. With work and housework pressures, we are so tired at the end of the day, no time, no energy to correct the chidren. Not even time or patience to ask them to pick up after themselves (Yup Iso, I agree with you, too tired to push them. They pick up one thing and then distracted by other things, end up playing with more things. aiyah.) If no time to even do this, how to have time for important issues.
So tonight, I will start with small things and try to put effort to address those issues.
