Chaye,
I very obvious favour HR. Only recently has improved quite a lot. XY has become sweeter and sweeter, though she still whines, but a lot better liao. I am very, very patience with HR, I hardly scold him or raise my voice at him. But also because he takes reasoning very well, so can always talk him out of a thing. While XY cannot one, what she wants, she wants, no rooms for negotiation, distraction doesn't work either.
Good thing is HR LOVES his sister, lots! They are both very good in sharing toys. Also because we never classified the toys as HR's or XY's, we always said it's their toys. So they share everything. Of course still fight lah. Usually started with XY. She must have what HR is playing/reading. HR usually gives in to her, unless it's something that he really likes/wants to have. I would intervene just right before they started to fight. And I always tell HR, no matter what, he has to come to me, cannot beat meimei and because meimei is still a baby girl, you must sayang her. He loves it when I praise him as a big boy and good boy! Parents must be fair, don't always side the younger one. So if XY is wrong, I will tell her why she is wrong first, before I talk to HR to give her the toy that she wants to snatch from her gorgor.
These 2 months have been really good for me. As in I didn't shout or raise my voice at them anymore. Been very peaceful and happy mood at home. Enjoy spending time with them very much!
now then she is close to me. 
