Tongtong, Aqua..
Haiz... Yes, touring now in Europe but not in the best of moods liao...
I feel that we are drifting apart in our feelings leh... Our lives revolve around our kids... We talk abt them, but I realised that we rarely talked about ourselves, how we feel in recent years...
I used to have a bad temper when I always flared up whenever he said some critics about me... so in recently, I told myself that I should "ren"... But the problem is the more I "ren", I saw these harmful words coming more frequent at me liao... I admit I am not very IT person, so when I was doing this itinery for excel, I tend to be slow in clicking formatting functions (coz need to search where)... then he will say "Here lah, you don't know meh... You working in IT coy leh.. blah blah blah..." Once and twice is fine, but he can say a few times loh... and it hurts my feelings. Then I just tell him, yes I am not good at IT and maybe I should QUIT job at IT coy since I am not up to it. Or, I will tell him since you know how to do, you do it loh.. then he said I "fa pi qi"...
Just this trip, I like going to theme parks to walk and take pics and I can't take those roller coaster rides... He keeps wanting me to take... I told him he can take and I can wait for him. But he does not want.. then he said next time he will forbid our kids to go theme parks becoz mummy's fault.. she does not want to take rides... everyone has their own fears and now you are blaming me for not overcoming my fears??? Haiz...
Then throughout the trip, he will push me to do things like carrying the heavy luggage.. But it is really too heavy for me to handle.. then he will say, you want to come right? then carry your own bag.. You want this trip right? then do this and that... I was like Hello? Yes, I want to come but going for a vacation is not just my biz mah... Just push things to me... I felt like shouting back "you are the ones who want kids, so you take care solely by yourself lah!" But I did not say that... coz I know if I say that, he will say I "fa pi qi" again...
I don't want to change him... I already told him that he has not been very nice with me on his words recently... It is up to him if he want to change...
Anyway, I just continue with my tour and today going for shopping therapy!!! Hopefully I will feel happier.