kam, read your confession in your blog, can feel ur helplessness. BUt you have been our positive role model all these while. and you have been doing great too. Remember very long time ago I mentioned that i din have so much LOVE for my boy as compared to urs to HR? THis is exactly the feeling you had for XY, because S is not an easy bb but HR is. I was drained too , and became so skinny remmeber, till I gave up my job and take a break. BUt hor, Shaun has improved tremendously. He is such a lovely and good boy liao. and he seldom throw tantrum liao because he can tell me what he wants liao. maybe because his speech development has progressed very quickly too. I remembered I started to love him so so much already last month because of his improved attitude ( although he still sticks to me like koala bear). ANyway, now he forgets about me already because he shifts his attention to ah yi ( my sis) ahha. OK, so much so about S, i just wnat to tell u that you are not "not loving" XY enough, it's just that you felt tired because of her non-cooperative behaviour - like poor sleep etc. But deep in your heart you love XY very much, that's why you felt guilty. dont worry, this is just a phase!! dont doubt your love for XY ok