(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs
- Thread starter lu_meihua
- Start date
i feel very bad now, for the past 3 days I have been putting my girl to sleep in her room for her noon nap by letting her cry. After she finishes her milk, I will tell her nap time, mummy go wash bottle, see you when you wake up and then I just leave the room. So far, after crying she will sleep, but its really heart wrenching to see her cry and cry via the video monitor.
Wendyg,
Will tell my hubby that. He would be very happy to hear, cos he thinks Hao Re takes over him - handsome
)
You got confused. Yvonne (ylim) has a boy, while Yvonne (gerger) has a girl and on FB, and she seldom post in SMF nowadays. Initially I was very confused also.
Kitsune,
For me, I am determined to take care of my kids on my own. Day time, no choice, have to send them to childcare. Night time, definitely be with us. Not going to hire a maid, definitely not. Though it's going to be tuff, but hey, that's what a parent should do, in my opinion. We are being too pampered to have the choice of engaging live-in domestic helper, how about if we live some where else and helper is out of reach, what would we do then? For us, we just don't think of getting the helper as one of the options. My hubby is very busy also, he sleeps about 3-4 hours everyday. I take care of the kids stuff mainly, with hubby as the standby. I don't have any plan yet, just see how things go day by day. I won't worry now, not now, as there are still many months to go, by then, my boy may have changed again to even more independant. For now, I just enjoy the time with my boy and enjoy my girl growing in my tummy Happy mum makes happy baby!
Will tell my hubby that. He would be very happy to hear, cos he thinks Hao Re takes over him - handsome
) You got confused. Yvonne (ylim) has a boy, while Yvonne (gerger) has a girl and on FB, and she seldom post in SMF nowadays. Initially I was very confused also.
Kitsune,
For me, I am determined to take care of my kids on my own. Day time, no choice, have to send them to childcare. Night time, definitely be with us. Not going to hire a maid, definitely not. Though it's going to be tuff, but hey, that's what a parent should do, in my opinion. We are being too pampered to have the choice of engaging live-in domestic helper, how about if we live some where else and helper is out of reach, what would we do then? For us, we just don't think of getting the helper as one of the options. My hubby is very busy also, he sleeps about 3-4 hours everyday. I take care of the kids stuff mainly, with hubby as the standby. I don't have any plan yet, just see how things go day by day. I won't worry now, not now, as there are still many months to go, by then, my boy may have changed again to even more independant. For now, I just enjoy the time with my boy and enjoy my girl growing in my tummy
Happy mum makes happy baby!wendyg
I heard in the UK, moms get 5 yrs maternity leave. I dunno paid or unpaid. Tats why many of them give birth to a few at a go, since at home liao.
Kam/ wendyg
I used to live elsewhere, my frens and I all no domestic helpers. Some of them (singaporeans) have 3 kids, close age gap, no helper, no childcare!!! Oso cope like tat... But leh, some come back to sg, quickly get maid liao... hoho... diff lifestyle, and diff focus. Last time focus on cooking, feeding, cleaning. Now is play with kids, go out, while the maid can stay at home to cook and clean. My hb used to do ALL the housework when no maid. But now he say have maid the quality of life is diff, at least can breathe! With maid got diff headache though
I heard in the UK, moms get 5 yrs maternity leave. I dunno paid or unpaid. Tats why many of them give birth to a few at a go, since at home liao.
Kam/ wendyg
I used to live elsewhere, my frens and I all no domestic helpers. Some of them (singaporeans) have 3 kids, close age gap, no helper, no childcare!!! Oso cope like tat... But leh, some come back to sg, quickly get maid liao... hoho... diff lifestyle, and diff focus. Last time focus on cooking, feeding, cleaning. Now is play with kids, go out, while the maid can stay at home to cook and clean. My hb used to do ALL the housework when no maid. But now he say have maid the quality of life is diff, at least can breathe! With maid got diff headache though
jess__thomas
New Member
how i wish my hb got the mentality that we should take care ourselves instead of domestic helper. He always push the taking care of our boy to the helper whenever I am not home. And when I am at home, he will say he dun understand y i wana make myself suffer, work so tired already at home still wana hands on. And definitely, he is not for the idea of me being a SAHM.
Whenever at nite i wana go out with my frens but i think tat my hb dun wana take care of Javier, i choose to stay at home. haha......
Whenever at nite i wana go out with my frens but i think tat my hb dun wana take care of Javier, i choose to stay at home. haha......
jess__thomas
New Member
but give my hb some credit, he does wake up at nite to prepare the milk when Javier cries for milk... and makes an effort to play with him everyday
hee...
Mom2nat,
Aiyoh, definitely wrong info lah, where got 5 years maternity leave. I forgot about the exact number, but about 1 year. For civil servant, mostly paid for, for private co, half-half of paid-unpaid.
In Australia, depending on how long you work in that company, the longer you work, the longer the maternity leave. If you only work for 1 year or so, paid maternity leave on 2 months or so. But usually almost all mummies will take unpaid leave and be SAHM for 1 year.
Aiyoh, definitely wrong info lah, where got 5 years maternity leave. I forgot about the exact number, but about 1 year. For civil servant, mostly paid for, for private co, half-half of paid-unpaid.
In Australia, depending on how long you work in that company, the longer you work, the longer the maternity leave. If you only work for 1 year or so, paid maternity leave on 2 months or so. But usually almost all mummies will take unpaid leave and be SAHM for 1 year.
pixie,
paiseh.. haven't mail out the hpt. will do so real soon. really sorry for the delay.
Kam,
Congrats!
wendy,
I tink i still prefer u to be ard SMH haha paiseh lah, tat time still not cfm bb ok or not with all the "complication", so the lesser ppl i tell the lesser i have to explain if things goes wrong.
Kitsune,
Maid or no maid got their own sets of problems. to me, i see it simply as "got maid, u got time to rest/ play with kids cos u wun get tired with housechores BUT u gotta have mental STRESS"
"no maid, u might not have mental stress by them, but u will get tired with housechores and end up lesser time with kids". U also need to see if financially can u afford it when u are on single income now. i choose a maid cos i wana rest when i m at home but once they started anything funny, i will not hesitate to send them back. at least i have my ILs here to jaga her n make sure nothing funny turns up.
I jz "popped by" woody's clinic today cos I worried abt not having any food/fluid for the nite for several weeks, so went to check if bb ok n if this can continue 4ever or not. he showed me the OSCAR result. I cleared the OSCAR! phew, else another worry for me.
paiseh.. haven't mail out the hpt. will do so real soon. really sorry for the delay.
Kam,
Congrats!
wendy,
I tink i still prefer u to be ard SMH haha paiseh lah, tat time still not cfm bb ok or not with all the "complication", so the lesser ppl i tell the lesser i have to explain if things goes wrong.
Kitsune,
Maid or no maid got their own sets of problems. to me, i see it simply as "got maid, u got time to rest/ play with kids cos u wun get tired with housechores BUT u gotta have mental STRESS"
"no maid, u might not have mental stress by them, but u will get tired with housechores and end up lesser time with kids". U also need to see if financially can u afford it when u are on single income now. i choose a maid cos i wana rest when i m at home but once they started anything funny, i will not hesitate to send them back. at least i have my ILs here to jaga her n make sure nothing funny turns up.
I jz "popped by" woody's clinic today cos I worried abt not having any food/fluid for the nite for several weeks, so went to check if bb ok n if this can continue 4ever or not. he showed me the OSCAR result. I cleared the OSCAR! phew, else another worry for me.
Mom2nat, Kam, Kitsune,
Sometimes its the expectation ba. Like for me, I will get, but more to ease my mother's work load but not to watch my kids while we go out and play. The help is good to wash up and clean the house whilst my mum cooks and helps. She needs a life too, after so many years of watching us. I feel its not right to dump my kids on her and she needs to cook and does all the other misc chores. We contemplated part time help, but its just not feasible long time with the charges they charge to clean only. Btw, forget to add, we live together extended family, so there are quite a number of us staying together.
wendyg, cannot help looking la, quite pitiful to a certain extend. Well today shorter, 3 minutes, she flop down and sleep. She does not sleep longer, just that she gets to sleep faster that way, sometimes we carry her, she gets more excited and wanna hug more before going to sleep, sometimes also end up crying when we put her down. I started doing this way, because usually Suns only me home alone with her for the whole day while everyone goes to church. So now tummy bigger, harder to carry her longer without her pressing on my tum tum or kicking me. So I ended up just putting her down and walking out after telling her to sleep. But of coz on normal days, when more pple home, they hear her, heart pain and will go up and carry her, esp grandma.
Sometimes its the expectation ba. Like for me, I will get, but more to ease my mother's work load but not to watch my kids while we go out and play. The help is good to wash up and clean the house whilst my mum cooks and helps. She needs a life too, after so many years of watching us. I feel its not right to dump my kids on her and she needs to cook and does all the other misc chores. We contemplated part time help, but its just not feasible long time with the charges they charge to clean only. Btw, forget to add, we live together extended family, so there are quite a number of us staying together.
wendyg, cannot help looking la, quite pitiful to a certain extend. Well today shorter, 3 minutes, she flop down and sleep. She does not sleep longer, just that she gets to sleep faster that way, sometimes we carry her, she gets more excited and wanna hug more before going to sleep, sometimes also end up crying when we put her down. I started doing this way, because usually Suns only me home alone with her for the whole day while everyone goes to church. So now tummy bigger, harder to carry her longer without her pressing on my tum tum or kicking me. So I ended up just putting her down and walking out after telling her to sleep. But of coz on normal days, when more pple home, they hear her, heart pain and will go up and carry her, esp grandma.
wendyg
Now I can feel like wat you said, when mensus coming, the ss drop.. Mine is gg into drought situation! HOho...
mylvera
Same lah, I have stress from maid oso. But I think with maid doing the chores, we can focus on playing with the kids, and relax a bit lor. My hb used to do ALL the housework though I SAHM, now he say at least got maid can relax and breathe. hahahah...
Kam
I oso not sure, I heard it from my nb.
Now I can feel like wat you said, when mensus coming, the ss drop.. Mine is gg into drought situation! HOho...
mylvera
Same lah, I have stress from maid oso. But I think with maid doing the chores, we can focus on playing with the kids, and relax a bit lor. My hb used to do ALL the housework though I SAHM, now he say at least got maid can relax and breathe. hahahah...
Kam
I oso not sure, I heard it from my nb.
wendy,
#2 better. thanks. tmr me going back to my course hhaa tiok suan by the course co-ordinator cos i am skipping 1st day course n jumping into 2nd day course and wednesday go back to 1st day course. bor bian, cannot leave office for both wed and thurs cos auditors are here. but neither do i have the mood to work today incase my #2 breathless again n have to rush him down to kkh.
#2 better. thanks. tmr me going back to my course hhaa tiok suan by the course co-ordinator cos i am skipping 1st day course n jumping into 2nd day course and wednesday go back to 1st day course. bor bian, cannot leave office for both wed and thurs cos auditors are here. but neither do i have the mood to work today incase my #2 breathless again n have to rush him down to kkh.
he is also on leave today. basically we are all at home today to "standby" haha abit kiasu n kiasi but we all lacked of sleep. so trying to catch up with our beauty sleep too.
kkh MO discharged my son. they say to go back only if 1) fever persist for 3 more days 2) breathless again.
kkh MO discharged my son. they say to go back only if 1) fever persist for 3 more days 2) breathless again.
jess__thomas
New Member
mylvera
tats gd... gd to knw tat ur #3 is doing fine
tats gd... gd to knw tat ur #3 is doing fine
angelsky,
Don't look at the video monitor. Good news is...the crying will get shorter. It's going to happen very soon and you will be surprised by how quickly your girl will go to sleep without kicking up a fuss
. Do not give up now! Otherwise it will be even more difficult to start training her again cos she knows you can't take her crying. If it's any consolation to you, my boy will stand up in his cot, smile and wave bye bye to us when we tell him goodnight, switch off the lights and leave the room. He will lie down on his own once we're gone
.
Don't look at the video monitor. Good news is...the crying will get shorter. It's going to happen very soon and you will be surprised by how quickly your girl will go to sleep without kicking up a fuss
Of course, at the end is personal choice lor. There is no right and wrong. Just have to work out what option works best for you
Yes, it's going to be busier, less sleep and more tired....... but that's okay for me. Just sleep less lor and the difficult time will pass very soon.
Yes, it's going to be busier, less sleep and more tired....... but that's okay for me. Just sleep less lor and the difficult time will pass very soon.
I agree with Kam lor. Taking care of OUR kids is OUR responsibility. I think sometimes all these maid abusing children cases might be due to parents over-relying on helpers to do everything for the kids. It's really tough but in the long run it's better and healthier for the kids. They also need to understand that mummy or daddy have chores/work to do and can't spend 100% of the time playing with them. All these simple things help to build up the correct values in our kids.
Anyone read the article in Sunday Times regarding youngsters doing chores? I was quite upset with some the kids' answers. Some said housework is just common sense so no need to learn, just get a maid to do in future. Some said they will die without a maid. I was also pissed with the parents' response about how they want they kids to concentrate on studies instead of wasting time helping out with chores at home...duh! What kind of mentality is that? As though kids spend 100% of their time on studies...more like 20% on studies and the rest on facebook, youtube, etc.
Anyone read the article in Sunday Times regarding youngsters doing chores? I was quite upset with some the kids' answers. Some said housework is just common sense so no need to learn, just get a maid to do in future. Some said they will die without a maid. I was also pissed with the parents' response about how they want they kids to concentrate on studies instead of wasting time helping out with chores at home...duh! What kind of mentality is that? As though kids spend 100% of their time on studies...more like 20% on studies and the rest on facebook, youtube, etc.
Yvonne,
**shake hand** Glad that we share the same value
Sometime really can't blame the kids, cos that's what their parents tell them, that's already been instilled in their mind since young.
There was one time, a pair of dad and son (about 10 years old) walked behind me. They were discussing the son's homework or stuff, can remember the whole conversation now, but at the end, that's what the dad told the son - "aiyoh, why you bother to ask your teacher, teacher don't know everything one, you think they are so smart huh, if they are smart, they won't be teacher already lor, why you think they want to be teacher, because they are not smart enough mah, next time no need to ask your teacher lah."
Wah-lau, I felt like turning back and scolded the dad. How can you tell a young child this. How can the kid learn well in school in the future? How can the kid trust his teachers?
**shake hand** Glad that we share the same value
Sometime really can't blame the kids, cos that's what their parents tell them, that's already been instilled in their mind since young.
There was one time, a pair of dad and son (about 10 years old) walked behind me. They were discussing the son's homework or stuff, can remember the whole conversation now, but at the end, that's what the dad told the son - "aiyoh, why you bother to ask your teacher, teacher don't know everything one, you think they are so smart huh, if they are smart, they won't be teacher already lor, why you think they want to be teacher, because they are not smart enough mah, next time no need to ask your teacher lah."
Wah-lau, I felt like turning back and scolded the dad. How can you tell a young child this. How can the kid learn well in school in the future? How can the kid trust his teachers?
jess__thomas
New Member
Did u all see the news....
the woman who ate rojak and got food poisoning died.... the contamination must have had been very serious..... !!!!
the woman who ate rojak and got food poisoning died.... the contamination must have had been very serious..... !!!!
jess
she suffered acute renal failure in both kidneys.. i think her body couldn't take the bacteria in the blood and went into shock or smthg like that. and she had existing medical conditions too... hypertension etc.
poor thing hor.. who would've thought just a regular meal can end your life. when it's time to go, it's time to go....
she suffered acute renal failure in both kidneys.. i think her body couldn't take the bacteria in the blood and went into shock or smthg like that. and she had existing medical conditions too... hypertension etc.
poor thing hor.. who would've thought just a regular meal can end your life. when it's time to go, it's time to go....
jess__thomas
New Member
wendyg
ya, i also believe when it is time to go.. it is time to go.... somehow, somewhere.. something will happen. Just like the lady who was trying to keep her laundry in Pasir Ris fell off her flat.... so poor thing..
ya, i also believe when it is time to go.. it is time to go.... somehow, somewhere.. something will happen. Just like the lady who was trying to keep her laundry in Pasir Ris fell off her flat.... so poor thing..
jess__thomas
New Member
mylvera
so u knw the gender already?
so u knw the gender already?
jess__thomas
New Member
i see. how many weeks are u nw? EDD is Oct?
wah... 3 boys lei... very happening at home in future. keke.
u staying with ILs rite? So next time the kids will all sleep in 1 room?
wah... 3 boys lei... very happening at home in future. keke.
u staying with ILs rite? So next time the kids will all sleep in 1 room?
blessedbaby
New Member
I also sleep train my gal, but she didnt cry? Maybe because i put her on my bed and I sit next to her and keep saying "it's time to sleep". Somehow she gets it and go to sleep. ;-)
My hubby did help me with CIO method but it only work when I am not around (out of the house). so he did only once with my gal. But this weekend, i decided not to carry her to sleep anymore coz it is too tired for me (especially we r trying to have #2) and i am amazed that my gal gets the message so fast.
My hubby did help me with CIO method but it only work when I am not around (out of the house). so he did only once with my gal. But this weekend, i decided not to carry her to sleep anymore coz it is too tired for me (especially we r trying to have #2) and i am amazed that my gal gets the message so fast.
jess__thomas
New Member
i see... then not so bad la. at least it is a place of your own. nw if i have #2, i duno where is he/she going to slp. nw ILs in masterbed room, (Me, hubby and Javier) 1 room, and SIL 1 room. Maid slp study room.
how come u say u will have another boy lei? symptoms????
how come u say u will have another boy lei? symptoms????
jess__thomas
New Member
ooh... so does tat mean u plan for a boy?
i also hope i will have 3 boys in future.. heheee
i also hope i will have 3 boys in future.. heheee
blessedbaby
New Member
pixelpixel
I received ur email. Will do tt tonight.
Thanks for ur co-ordination.
Pauline: I will not (never) let my maid to take care of my baby. She is not allowed to "touch" my baby in anyway. I will get mad if she does so. Just because I will not forgive her if anything happens with my gal. I have heard so many crazy stories about maid taking care of babies and I just cant "afford" it to happend to me and my baby.
I received ur email. Will do tt tonight.
Thanks for ur co-ordination.
Pauline: I will not (never) let my maid to take care of my baby. She is not allowed to "touch" my baby in anyway. I will get mad if she does so. Just because I will not forgive her if anything happens with my gal. I have heard so many crazy stories about maid taking care of babies and I just cant "afford" it to happend to me and my baby.