(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

kam
your long paragraph made me think. i was only thinking of how to handle 2 kids when i moved to JE. hb will definitely be back home on time to help. i already thinking of how to multitask liao
btw, your tingkat nice? XY nowadays eat what? u cook for her or also tingkat food?

i really pei fu you. that you not happy also never tell hb even if he asked you. well, imho, you could tell him how you feel. but you can add caveat "im telling you how i feel but that doesnt mean that i want you to change. at least you hear me out, im satisfied liao"...
if you keep it to yourself, you'll get more stress?
 


pixie,

Kam mentioned b4, XY's nanny cook dinner for XY daily
happy.gif


kam,

*pat pat* dun think too much n dun b so unhappy. u r doing a great job! i would suggest u to really sit down n hv a heart to heart talk with yr hb (w/o kids ard). To see what type of lifestyle u both wanted. a more luxury and better off lifestyle or a economical lifestyle. Can u survive with 1 income? if yes, one of u will be a SAHM or SAHF?

Frankly speaking, I m very tired. I hv to work n support the whole family. Reached home, I have to help look aft the kids. Weekends I have to help either look aft the kids (but sometimes I prefer to cook cos i like to see the happy faces from my sons when they eat n like the food i cook for them). Recently I felt worse. my prolonged coughing was so bad that I started wheezing and panting. seen few docs and was prescribed with wrong medication till i gave up n went back to my family doc. was given asthma medication (for preventive and during attack). my notti gal refused to stop latching during the nite. if i dun latch her, she will not sleep. hence i got to make sure the time interval between the next dosage of medication is quite far apart so that I can latch her in between. my office work isn't getting any better. more n more ridiculous requests from my boss and the supervisor under me has mixed with bad companies and refused to work n started to give WRONG advices to staff and started to scold staff when I not ard. My staff are all unhappy and I have to step in n control this supervisor who refused to learn anything. I came up with a re-org n went to my boss for approval. my boss approved and i moved this sup out of operations to a smaller area under me. Came up with lots of problems n even asked me "can u tell me what prospects do i have in tis coy now?" i told her "it's up to u to see. u can learn other sections' work n hence moved to other section or even other depts once u master the skills in this dept. but if u dun wana learn, no one can force u <indirectly>). anyway... that's jz my staff prob.

back home, i have another set of problems. my maid wants to renew her contract but WITH CONDITIONS. She insisted on going back next Hari Raya for 2 weeks and in 2012 to go back during Hari Raya for good, or to give her another 2 weeks leave n she will leave when her contract ends in Jan 2013. I m very unhappy n talked to her last nite. MOM's regulation says we can give them home leave of 2 weeks upon finishing their contract n they wana renew. Every time, after talking to her, i will hv wheezing n panting issues. To add on to my unhappiness, she had borrowed advances (not once but 3 times) from my hb to send the $ home. My hb, even tho, i told him not to grant, happily granted cos he wants to avoid quarrels. (Yeah, I know u r reading, n since i cant talk to u at home, I m writing out my frustration here.) I am trying to tell myself to control, not to be upset about all these issues. But, i can't. There are many times when my BP rises. Seen coy doc and was immediately given a A&amp;E referral cos my bp reached 170/100 that day. I did not go to A&amp;E cos i nid to settle the kids. How long can i last b4 i get myself into the wards bed??

so sorry for the long post... i m fed up with all these issuse and hence did not post here for a long time. simply no time n no mood. but it has hit my limit and hence, here i m, venting out my frustration.
sad.gif
 
Mylvera,

Hugs to you! YOu are such a brave and strong mother. I can never be so strong like you to be the family's breadwinner. Work is always challenging when you are staff under you... Have to cope and handle them... Then back home, we cannot simply wash our hands off family affairs or pay the least attention (no offence but hubbies tend to try their best not to handle family-related decisions)... I think even your SAHH, he won't do the 100% type of job like what a SAHM will do. This is my own opinion. Not to say your hubby is not doing a good job but guys are like that, I think... Always thinking mummies should take the first line when comes to family.

How about talking to your hubby to switch roles? Is it possible?
 
mylvera,
Hugzzz! Hope your cough goes away real soon, so you have a healthy body to settle all the issues you face. It must be very stressful for you, to hold the financial and to take care of 3 kids, really not easy hor.


krsytle,
Ya, I think it's a new job hence he needs to be in more time and effort now to get know to his job, so I let him have more time, else end up he also stress and not happy. Hope it will be better soon. I don't think he can knock off from work on time everyday, but maybe 2 days in a week is enough to lessen my stress.


kitsune,
Thanks. Yes, one day I look back I will be very proud of myself :) But really, I have my kids to thank, they both are considered easy kids (relatively).


tongtong,
Oh, that's cool, teaching adults cooking healthy food, means your dream comes true! Can do what you like to earn $, very good woh, congrates!


pixie,
I am pretty good at multitasking :) Yes, like mylvera said, the nanny settles XY, feed her dinner, feed her fruit, bath and change her, so I don't need to do anything. Very good nanny right, I told her my arrangement and she is worried XY might not get her fruit daily, so she changed her schedule a bit and give XY fruit before I fetch her.

Oh the tingkat. Pretty good. Much better than the one I ordered last time. This one is home operation, don't even have a company, I found them through this forum. Pretty ex, $170/20 days for 1 pax. But I can tell there is no MSG (cos I am very sensitive to MSG), and it's not salty and the veg are fresh. Portion small though.


tongtong/pixie/mylvera,
We know the situation very well. He knows what I am not happy very well too. But he can't do anything than to try his best. So talk to him also no use. We communicate even we don't talk, very chem hor :) As of now, both incomes are a must, at least for the next few years. Besides, my hub will never want to be a SAHF, a temporarily one maybe, but not longer than 1 month kind. I don't mind become a SAHM, but my income is needed as of now. Yesterday he tried to come home "early", and it's 9pm when he reached, well at least the kids can see him and give him a kiss and a hug before heading to bed.

Anyway, I am not really that unhappy lah. Cos look at how my kids laugh, how they play with each other, how they know to sayang me, make me very happy. But tired is for sure.

But never mind, I am hanging on till October and my parents are coming! So I will just need to hold the fort for 1.5 months and my parents will be here to "save" me! Imagine when I arrive home, dinner is ready. I can take a long nice shower while my mum feeds HR dinner and my dad plays with XY. I join in to play with them, or can have the luxury to read a bit of magazine or watch tv. Then while I am putting the kids to bed, my mum will help me with the laundry and all the minor minor household chores. Just 1.5 months, I must jia you, jia you, jia you!!!
 
Kam,

I think i know abt that tingkat. Was thinking for a long while to take up the trial. Is the soup good?
U feed HR food from there too?? U got rice too or u get rice from them??
 
mandy,
You are ordering tingkat now? Yes, I give HR the tingkat food for his dinner. I cook rice the night before and heat it up and serve. The soup is okay only to me, not as nice as home cooked one, but at least it's not MSG-soup.

Thanks, I will sure jia you. And hey, it's Friday today!
 
morning mummies
very tired. yesterday another call, from 7pm to 11.30pm
i suffer from radiation from phone liao LOL
and then after the call, i die die must need some "me" time to chill out to slow down my body/mind/brain....so in the end i KO at 1am+....
today dragged myself to work again, even tho ms is still there. coz a boss is coming to sg today and we have to be full strength

sianz....

kam i also tell myself that i must "ren". ard 2.5 weeks more, 1st trim over. hope ms no more by then (x's time, ms till 5th mth)

btw, if i ever need tingkat, i will sms u for you to recommend me yah

mylvera
cheer up. like i always said, mothers are the sun of the family. everyone in the family depends on us. so we have to be strong.
your bp is forever there, so this one is bo bian. did you take bp medication?
cure your body first and the rest of the problems will align themselves....this is the mystic law (very ohmmmm i know, but its true). healthy body is the foundation of life

jia you!
 
Hi all

Reading all the posts on the nightly routine after fetching the kiddos home after work, I can totally relate to that. Now I only have #1 to take care of. In Sept, when #2 is born, I cannot imagine how to cope with feeding #1 dinner, breastfeeding #2 or expressing milk, washing and sterilizing pump, washing dishes. Tink the part time helper (which I mentioned before) is the solution.

Hubby’s job is project-based so his knock-off time is dependent on project deadlines &amp; whether his crazy boss is in the office to prevent him from going home. Actually if deadlines are tight &amp; hubby thus works late, I can still understand. Having said that, the co should accept less projects or hire more staff so as to give the employees a better work life balance. No?

In reality, 50% of the time, even when there aren’t any urgent deadlines, it is his crazy boss who always schedules meetings at 5.30pm (their official knock-off) time. And, bonus is only 2 months for the last financial year. But hubby is staying on becos this job allows him to learn a lot, so he says &amp; with each different project and client that he works on, his CV improves.

So yes, it is always the mummy who knocks off work on time &amp; rushes home to cook, wash, handle kids, bathe them &amp; put them to sleep. In the last 2 wks, maybe cos my tum tum is getting too big &amp; I move too slowly, I have been very short tempered &amp; have been scolding #1 a lot. Then I will regret &amp; ask myself if I could have handled the situation better.

Maybe I should go read some parenting books to improve the way I handle #1.
 
prata_queen
no worries. few more mths down the road i will have the same experience as you. by then you expert liao so perhaps share pointers yah? heehee




i now got spare time oredi thinking of how to cope with 2 kids at night...
furthermore, i dont want to put anyone of them at mil place. i moved specifically near her so that i can take care of the kids....

furthermore, she is looking after 2 newborn - mine and my sil
she still say can cope. i doubt she can. i oredi thinking of backup plans
 
Kam &amp; mylvera, I really salute you! It's really no joke to have a full-time job both at work and at home! Dealing with 1 is already too much for me so I really cannot imgaine having to deal with 2 or more in your case. All mummies need a pat on their backs
happy.gif
 
pixie,
Sure. Let me know when you need the contact for tingkat.

You worked so late last night, today still have to work as usual, and with your ms, aiyoh, so poor thing leh. And after work have to go to JE to pick up X?

I totally agree on the "me" time to chill out part. I will sure have time every night for the chilling out, be it a quick 10 min or a luxurious 1-2 hours. I find this very important. Be it flipping a magazine, stoning, tv, etc. A little bit of me time a day keeps me going.


Prata_queen,
The first few months shouldn't be a big problem (not for me at least), cos #2 is still young so it's just drinking milk and sleeping most of the time. For sterilising of pump, I learned from the mummies here that you don't have to wash and sterilise after every pump, which really save you a lot of time! How would the part time helper help you? You mean the aunty who lives near you? You are not engaging a CL or your mum/MIL not coming to help?

Work life balance in Singapore. Fat hope!!!

I have become worser temper also. Before I have #2, honestly, I have never scolded HR at all, even raising my voice also like <5x kind. After #2 is here, partly because of her poor sleeping habit, my temper becomes worser. Like I said, just have to blow it out when I am out of control, then trying to keep the cool again. Yes, yes, reading of parenting materials certainly help, a book, a magazine, online, whatever. The Zero to Three website is one I like a lot, and I did pick up some clues on how to understand my kids and hence handle my kids better.
 
kam
i was only reading the 0-3 newsletter via iphone this morning...^5!

harnor, i worked from 9am - 11.30pm yesterday literally. i went home early after telling boss. reached home liao thought can zzz a bit but got work...work until 530...sleep 1hr till 6.30. gluped down dinner, started the call at 7...all the way to 11.30
and today in office. later rush to JE to pick x

perhaps, oh perhaps, i'll tell my hb that i'll go home to sk straight. i told him pls exempt me from the friday rush. the more i rush (faster i walk), the worse ms i have heehee

oh about temper
my temper is worse now that i got ms. i scold x more than the norm. i swing between 2 extremes of bochup (too sick from ms) to anger (exhausted from ms and looking after x)
so nowadays hb is more quick to step in and take over. phew
 
Kam,

Don't mind i bring my maid on 1st sept? I need her to handle my girl...:p I don't mind rochester park or your house, just let me know if you need me to bring anything? like what Janbb mentioned, paint brush / papers / paints etc...
 
luvv
nope. coz i didnt tell my boss about how long the call was (4.5hrs). i told her only just now. thats why i still have to step in today to work
 
mylvera,
tough on you to do so many things, since your boys are in CC, your maid only look after your girl during daytime? then your hubby should be quite relax and free during the day ma. Why can't he do his part to help out at night and weekends? You are already exhausted from work everyday and yet can't even get a proper rest during your off days and rest period, really really tough on you. Your health matters most now, take good care then you can take care of the family.
 
Kam,
So all of us gotta sit in a circle and pat each other's back on 1 Sep...hahaha.

Maybe we can order delivery from pasta mania, Macdonalds or something else then we can all chill out at your place...no need to move everyone to the restaurant?? Just a suggestion, I'm fine eating anywhere
happy.gif
 
pixie,
yah lor, 1 B equals to 2 HR?? Hahahaha...
Now everywhere I go, everyone keeps telling me to go for no. 2. Me and hubby say one is already a handful but they will say "all children are like dat one"...sometimes quite irritated lor. It's easy to say when they don't have to deal with a spirited child 24/7 and then simply label the child as "naughty, spoilt brat" when they encounter one. Sometimes just feel like telling these people to mind their own business...kekeke.
 
Pixie
I hope I survive to be able to share my experiences with you :p Just joking.

Actually I tink it will be manageable (think positive).

First mth of #2’s birth – I got a CL to help for 28 days. Hopefully she is good (recommended by my cousin who used the same CL for her 2 kids)

2nd to 4th mth – all alone in the daytime. That’s when I’ll need the one hour part time helper (my neighbour) to come by at night to help with the nightly routine of washing dishes and other misc housework. I still intend to do the child-related stuff like cooking and feeding #1, washing of pump (very expensive, so dare not delegate) and bathing of children.

Once I return to work, either my parents or my hubby fetches both from infant care and childcare while I will go straight home to prepare #1’s dinner. If hubby works late, then I’ll be like Kam, have to handle 2 children until their bedtime.

Kam
No need to wash and sterilize after every pump? I quite hygiene freak one (self confessed + hubby thinks I’m one). I ordered freestyle from TLL thread.

Work life balance is possible, depending on our immediate boss. I start wk at 830am and knock off at 530pm. Reach home at 620pm to start to cook dinner &amp; wait for parents to bring #1 home.

Temper
I only have to handle #1 currently and I already have a terrible temper. How?
Although my hubby is bo chup, he never ever raises his voice at me or #1. I need to curb my temper. I wonder if my next door neighbours ever heard me screaming at #1.

Can u pls post the link to the zero to three website?
 
prata_queen,

If your girl continues with the cc during 2nd to 4th, then should be no problem for you to take care of your baby. Just to share with you, during my 2 months confinement, I stopped HR from going to school, so that he won't feel left out and can spend some quality time with his meimei and his grandparents (my parents were with me for 2 months). I think that helped a lot, for them to have a strong and special bond to start with.

Here you go, the Zero to Three website - http://www.zerotothree.org/about-us/areas-of-expertise/free-parent-brochures-and-guides/free-parent-brochures-and-guides.html - best thing is to sign up for their newsletter, they will ask you the age of your kid, and will then send you an e-mail every month for those relevant info for your kids, and sometimes some free articles for downloading. I find their articles very good as it's mostly research based.
 
Thanks all for the support.

Felt better after letting all these things out. Nowadays cannot talk too long as once i talk longer, i will start to pant n wheeze haaha.


luca,

had popeye jz now. Std not tat great as compared to T1 leh. n SUPER DUPER long q. my colleagues n me Q for 35 mins!
 
mylvera

now popeye moved to T3 liao. the T1 outlet has closed down.

where did you have yours? they opened one outlet at century square but dun find it nice. prefer the T3 outlet.

do take care of yourself.
 
Kam, mylvera, jia you jia you! Agree on the advance issue, we gave advance to my maid in mar this year. When my agent found that, she told me and the maid again n again no advance. Cos if the maid play punk or chu pattern, we cannot get rid of her. I am thankful that I met 贵人 for my maid cos everytime got issue they will settle for me. Come down to talk to my maid, even get Filipino agent to talk to her if she is in sg.

Yvonne, I scored raeanne using the book n she scored low 30s, definitely a spirited child but only good thing is that she can still be distracted cos she score lower on the tenacity part. Nowadays, when she gets me so upset with her 'i dun want! Cry n whine' repeatedly, hubby will look at me n say 'what to do? our spirited child...' to calm me down. I try to calm myself too but sometimes it doesn't work when she is closing her eyes n shrieking non stop, I will lose it n start handling her forcefully. I need time out or else I am afraid I will do something that I regret so sometimes let her go to mil house when she requests to be queen.

On a happier note, have finally decided to take a partial free n easy holiday to Taipei with only hubby. Think both of us need a break. Anyone stayed at cosmos hotel or gala hotel or Santos hotel? Any comments? I checked online but prefer to hear from someone who has been there.
 
mylvera
thanks for the feedback. hope ur cough is gone soon. take care! cant eat too much chicken if u have cough leh. got try TCM?

hw come popeye standard not consistent de, must go all the way to T3 ... zzzz

Kam,
my temper is just as bad, especially when my 2 boys r those hyper type, never fail to test my patience.
 
Kam
Thinking of ordering tingkat. They claim that they cook their soup w charcoal right? So u still ordering their soup? Hubby thinks it is expensive too.

Pauline,
Great that u can go with hubby only. Enjoy!! So u going natas fair? Still have not decided where to go end year. Thinking of a self drive around Taiwan but heard alishan not up yet. My brother suggested beijing.
I prefer free n easy. Our last trip was abt 2 weeks we went hk, Macau, zhuhai n Guangzhou when J was 23 mths:p
 
Re : Fried Chicken

U guys remember Texas Chicken when we were very young. I saw a outlet at expo. Not too bad. Newly opened. Same name but not sure if they r e same.
 
mandy,
I order 3 dishes + 1 soup cos I reckon I don't need 4th dish. Ya, they claim they cook over charcoal for 5 hours. Can't really say it's that nice leh. Maybe I am half Cantonese so have a high demand on soup? It's ex, but HR has to eat that for dinner, so I have no choice, cos I have to make sure it's MSG free, and it is.
 
Mandy, yup, my hubby has been all for travelling without the kids ever since my MIL said don't want to join us for year end holiday months ago. Debating whether to book during Natas cos the airline seats are crazy, the promotional SIA rate I was asking about last week during SA tours fair already fully sold out. So now got to pay more. Sigh.

But I was the one who felt reluctant and bu she de plus I'm BFing Raelynn. But after bringing the kids on 2 short holidays (Penang in June and Genting in Aug), I have to admit that my hubby is the wiser and more rational one. Cos we just don't get to shop and enjoy ourselves (can't even catch a movie at Genting) though we had additional help (maid and/or MIL) even in Malaysia.

Spend so much to go Taiwan and still can't enjoy ourselves if we bring the kids (with no maid and no MIL) also no point. But I am only going for 5d4n instead of full 8d package tour to Taiwan cos I don't want to wean off Raelynn unless she self weans by Dec. So got to pump during holiday and hope my blocked duct problem doesn't recur again like Shanghai in Dec08. :p
 
Mandy, try hainanese steamed chicken.
happy.gif
Use middle tier for the chicken, bottom tier for the rice (need to cook quite long for the rice though), top tier for the steamed oyster vegetables.
happy.gif
 
Kam,

For your tingkat, its 170/pax. Is it for 20 days? If you order for 2 pax, what’s the cost? And what time do they deliver?

My neighbour charges $4 per pax so we pay $8 per meal, and that works out to be $160 for 2 pax for 20 days. She delivers after i reach home @ 6.30pm.

Yours quite expensive…
 
kitsune,
That will be so nice! Yes, go and have some great time with your hub without the kids!


prata_queen,
Ya, this one is expensive, but not the most expensive. 2 pax at $240. Wah, all your neighbours are so capable, one can help you with the laundry/housechores, one can provide you dinner, so good :) Expensive, but no choice lor, cos like I said, I have to make sure it's MSG free. But think for this 1.5 months only, then my parents will be here for 2 months, by when my mum can cook all my favourites dishes. After they left, I will start cooking dinner cos by then XY should be a lot more independant than she is now. Then hold on for another 2 months and it's CNY break already (yes, yes, I am thinking so far ahead, I know :))
 
prata_queen,
your neighbour don't need to travel? that's why it's cheaper?

Kam,
no msg seems hard to find, what about trans fat? can you PM me the contact for keeps?
 
prata_queen,

took it at Novena Square 2.

Kam,

invest in slow cooker. prepare the soup yourself. put water n ingredients tat u wan in the slow cooker n by the time u back, u will have healthy, nicer soup. imagine, i can even cook bak kut teh with slow cooker! I am not canto but i used to love soup and i love using slow cooker till i burnt the one tat my mom gave. now must find replacement ahaha
 
Kam, thanks, can't stand myself. You read my blog right? I was so 反反复复 over this until my hubby buay tahan and suggested going to Sentosa or Changi village hotel for stayacation in Dec. Then, I chop chop make up my mind cos I wanna go Taiwan. hee.
 
mylvera,
slow cooker will not taste as good as stove cooking right? what about those thermal cooker aka magic cooker for soups?
 
Kam, luvv

Haha, yes I’m lucky to have great neighbours. Actually they all stay in neighbouring blocks of flats beside mine, not side-by-side neighbours. I got to know of them by chance. I saw her delivering tingkat to someone in my block &amp; so asked for her mobile number. For the part time helper, its thru this auntie who recommended her friend who wasn’t working &amp; didn’t mind walking a few blocks to my house.

The tingkat lady rides a bicycle to deliver so she doesn’t incur additional cost. Other caterers I know of also dun charge so high ($240/2pax/20 days). But since its msg-free, good to stick to it cos its so rare to be able to find healthy food except cooking it ourselves. In fact my colleague who stayed in tanah merah wanted to drive over to order from my neighbor by driving over to pick up the food cos she insists on real home cooked food yet has no time to cook for the family after work, but eventually she did not cos its much too troublesome.

Luvv, u stay at Pasir Ris too right? Which part? I’m at st 53.
 
mandy
if i cook, i will use the 3 tier steamer + a pan
i hardly bring out my wok

you can steam rice inside, 25mins can settle liao...nowadays i steam the rice for the whole family coz i lazy to use my rice cooker

i use the tier for:
steam chicken
chawanmushi (must cover with foil) or just normal steamed eggs
rice
chinese sausage (lap cheong)
any marinated meat dishes
 
mylvera,
I have slow cooker. I might have to use it often when I start cooking in Dec. If it's for hub, he doesn't want to drink soup cooked with slow cooker, cos not nice, but for me and HR, okay lah, at least it's the healthiest of all :)

Luvv,
My col recommended me to use the thermal cooker also, I have yet to explore this option. Plus a thermal cooker is a lot more ex than a slow cooker?

Okay. PMed you liao.


kitsune,
I guess because you want a getaway so badly, so you take it seriously? While your hub is those who doesn't really like travel so couldn't care less? My hub is also like that, I usually confirm with him the destination, then I do all the work, till I finalise everything for him to choose the hotel, dates, etc. If I ask him for opinion about every detail huh, he might say, so ma-fan, don't want to go lah :)
 
luvv
pressure cooker also good. they cut down cooking hours. my bil is a great cook....and he use the pressure cooker to braise meats, cook soup etc
 


Kam, the only things my hubby is serious about travelling is 1) NO travelling with the kids if we don't have extra help (ie. MIL or maid) and 2) NO FREE &amp; EASY OR SELF DRIVE holiday cos he doesn't want to plan or think or drive while on holiday. To him, that is not relaxing.

So in the way, I got to do a lot of research cos I needed a partial F&amp;E holiday (cos I want a bit of sightseeing and hot spring) yet got to make sure I give him enough time to shop for toys or books or DVDs or just nua in the hotel for tv. But I still need to check with him on most details cos I am only Minister of Home Affairs while he is the Minister of Finance mah. Haha.
 
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