(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

Steph, hopefully R recover soon! Must be hard on you too! I woke up 3.30am to make milk for s too. Cuz he din nap yesterday, KO at 7pm without eating much. As for my job, I haven’t talked to my boss yet! I’m thinking maybe if I got new job then I just quit, so now not taking 2 mths break first, but will be taking Friday off perhaps every week. u know i really dont like what i'm doing now. no motivation to work at all ..
 


mylvera,
Missed your post. No lah, I am not that eager. I surely don't want #3 now. Still considering. But that's at least 1 year later (though must be very careful not to have any "accident" happen.....)


steph,
Poor thing. Hope R recovers soon. Realised your boys fall sick often? Maybe consult their PD what's the possible health problem or is it because of the diet or environement, and boast their health accordingly ? Better to strengten their health when they are young.


tongtong,
Ya. Take a step at a time. Good move to have Friday off, so that you can have some breathing space and time for yourself. Best of luck!
 
Kam, thanks! you knw what, yesterday i also have the urge to be sahm cuz ds is simply so cute at current stage. i just feel that he needs me a lot and i just want to be with him all the time. if financially ok, i will be sahm although i always tot i will go crazy to be with him 24 hrs :p
 
tongtong,
thanks. yea when little one falls sick, we also suffer indirectly hor...yesterday night while i watch him fall asleep, my mind was very peaceful...i just hope i can take his illness on his behalf...watching him woke up suddenly choking & coughing badly, i am just helpless, dunno what else i can do to lessen his uncomfort in this throat..whatever...his little fingers hold on so tightly to my hand...to me, that's sweet
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Yea i know the lousy feeling of no motivation to work (drag yrself to work for the sake of working). It's a sign of telling us to move on for a change of enviroment/job & seek new challenge.

nez,
oh i see
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Are u a Sahm too?
 
harnor, if financially OK leh tongtong.
i financially OK then i sure be sahm but i know i cannot...

kam
huh she got no job to do leh i heard still must pick3choose4?
MY definitely wont be back liao so i will tell ah juan (my former pt cleaner who intro-ed MY) abt this n see if she can slot u in or find another one of her sistas to help u
 
Kam,
Only started last week (27thFeb) both down with viral fever & R with fake measles. Just when i thought they have recovered, Z kena throat infection (too much CNY junks), he was coughing & alot of phlegm. R got fever spike due to teething, now ok liao but tio coughing & phlegm suddenly...maybe Z passon to R loh since both playing together most of the time, cannot avoid virus unless separate them. PD said nothing's wrong with their health...just viral thingy (very common among young children), will take some time to clear & recover de. Otherwise most of the time, they are both growing well but both on the skinny side (family gene), not chubby type.

Anyone knows this mummy's real name in FB? nick:MomMe (mommy2be)
i can't remb who liow but i am sure i added her in my FB contacts...memory failing
 
i type super long paragraphs to tell u all mummies abt what happened yest but decided not to...just that i got a very bad sunday yest, i am now very very very the jaded liao...
wat else, quarrel with hb again over x lor
 
steph,
Good to hear that it's purely viral infection.


Pixie,
**hugz** look forward to a better weekend, ok!

Thanks. Ya, she told me she didn't have other jobs on Friday, but still wants to be picky. I told her clearly I cannot come home any earlier than that and I don't want to commit on weekends. Up to her to decide lor. She said she will come this Friday and see how. Hope she won't fly the aeroplane.......
 
Hi mummies,
Just share a piece of sad news. My aunt's bil just committed sucide this morning. He jumped down from his flat which is opposite his parents' place. He's in his early 40s, single and works as a teacher but was recently diagnosed with depression and was put on medication. My aunt's mil is devastated cos he's her favourite son out of her 3 children. Her mil just recovered from a bout of illness and her fil also became a little depressed cos of her illness and now their son is gone...really dunno why such things happen.

After hearing the news from my sis my only thought is that I really have to cherish all my loved ones...no matter how angry/unhappy they make us feel sometimes, at least they are still alive and with us...that's more important than anything else.
 
Yvonne,
So sad to hear the news... But your family can get over this tough period soon... Depression is rather common nowadays... And yet it is so hard to detect and people tend not to notice it or look seriously into it.

Just want to share with mummies... I sent my maid back to the agent liao. Really a mis-match. She told us on Fri evening that she still cannot get used to cooking and taking care of my children... So she wants to go back to agent... I was like "wth... you came to sgp a a maid and cooking and taking care of kids are the BASIC chores... you cannot handle then come for what? What to become a queen to be waited upon? Crazy... Anyway, we also not interested to keep her so let her go. Anyway, we also found out that her resume/biodata is not true also.

So now, we are getting a transfer maid... She previously worked for a Chinese family and now the family is going back to China so she got no employer... We are taking her coz she takes care of kids (around my children's ages). And she is married with 4 kids so very experienced in taking care of kids. Hope this will be a good one.
 
Krystle, good luck on the new maid. I'm lazy to change cos my maid is ok with looking after the baby though RaeAnne still doesn't want her to do certain things. Anyway, I'm going to Penang in June. Since MIL doesn't want to go, looks like we'll be bringing the maid if she stays till then. :p
 
afternoon all!

pixie,
hope u n ur hb will make up soon.
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krystle,
how come the maid's resume/biodata is not true? how did u know abt it? so is the transfer maid a philipino as well? good luck on this new maid.
 
Luca,
We know it is not true because she herself told my SIL's maid and my SIL when they chit chat.
1. Her biodata says she worked as housemaid in PHIL before but she never. Only worked as a factory worker.
2. She was told that employer is 47 yrs old woman with only 17 yr old girl (but then, if that is the case, why need a maid, right?)
3. She never took the compulsory test in PHIL (but the agent kept telling us this maid took longer time to arrive coz she needs to take the test... In actual fact, it is the agent trying to persuade her to come coz she last min back out to come.)

The transfer maid is also PHIL... Just hope will be better loh.
 
Luca,
We know... but of course the local agent here denied and said they don't know anything... They based on all information provided by the PHIL agent...
 
Krystle, Luca my maid was not willing to come initially too. Cos scared of looking after baby. But their local recruiter managed to convince her. I still bu fang xin so I interviewed her over the phone to make sure she really wants to come cos she is new maid n never left Philippines before.
 
krystle
Maybe you can try to get older maids, like 40 yr old. They are more responsible, not the kind to come here play play. But they prob less energy for kids lah. Getting a maid is like betting on lottery! Hahaha...
 
Kitsune,
At least your maid don't act smart or do anything... My that maid so smart until can ask her uncle to help her to bring her mobile to SGP. Even when we told the agent, she is so shocked. We never interviewed her coz SIL said all the same... don't have to waste time interviewing...

Mom2nat,
Ya, I agreed. The new maid is 35 yrs old and is a mother of 4... So hopefully won't do funny/smart stuff like the younger girls.
 
yvonne
sad to hear that...life is precious hor

krystle
i agree maid is betting on lottery. heng my maid until now still ok ok.
i think fone interview still need. not all maids thru phone interviews are having the same response. we can ask tricky qns to see what and how they feel bah?
 
dunno that time my aunt interview my maid, she say ask tricky qns can know lots abt the maid etc...she did the phone interview, not me wor

i think kitsune or mylvera got ask before rite?
if the stove pot is boiling and baby crying at same time what will you do??
 
Pixie I never ask tricky questions. I only asked her why she wants to come to Singapore to work. N how does she know that she can cope since she never work overseas nor left her family before.
 
Mummies who are still around, please hear me rant!!!

Was feeding B dinner just now. We were sitting on the sofa and I just gave him his 3rd mouthful of rice when he suddenly kicked the bowl! The rice & bowl flew and landed all over the 2 of us plus the sofa and floor. We were both stunned and he was taken back by his own actions as well. I was really too angry and tired by all these so I just picked him up and placed him at the naughty corner while I cleaned up the whole place. I did not scold or beat him but simply told him he has to wait until is daddy is back to get his dinner. I've ignored him since...sigh. I really don't understand why he's so mischievous. This is not the 1st time he tried this stunt but usually his kicks are "softer" and I will tell him to stop cos I'm holding his dinner. This time I was simply caught off-guard and couldn't hold on to the bowl. I really just want to break down and cry now...
 
kitsune
yours oso trick qn. how to convince employer that u can do it although you no experience hor??

luca
this qn i think i seen before in this thread leh. quite some time ago liao
 
Yvonne,
Poor thing. Give you a big hug...... Don't cry, though I can imagine how you feel totally. Or okay lah, hide in the room, cry a little bit, don't let S see you cry though.

If he has done it a few times, then yes, I think you have to put message across that if you do it again, then no dinner.

Try let him self-feed? I remember you said you don't like the mess of how self-feed will make. But maybe it's time now to try out?

Hugz hugz......
 
Kam,
Yah, I hate to clean up the mess if let him self-feed cos he'll end up playing with the food instead of eating. On top of that, he dislikes getting his hands/mouth and the table dirty...kinda like "jie pi". He'll insist I clean him and the table after every mouthful if there are bits of food around...sigh.
 
Pixie I just wanted her to think through if she is prepared for the changes ahead.

Yvonne, raeanne does that all the time. Knock food or bowl off when she is in bad mood. What to do? Very angry at that moment but we just clean up n tell her not to do it anymore. We do let her self feed but we r prepared. There are always 2 pieces of cloth on the table. One towel for her mouth n one to wipe the floor. If still dirty then got to mop the coffee table area after she had dinner. Good thing is I have a maid lor cos with Bb I can't afford the time. :p
 
Yvonne,
Aiyo, poor thing. But you are already very patient with B. If were me, I would have flared up immediately and sent my girl crying in tears. I also hated clearing up the mess but I am gradually letting my girl to self-feed as I can see she will finish the food/eat more rather than I feed her. But if too hot etc, I still feed her but explain to her that the soup/porridge is too hot so it is better for mummy to feed you. My girl is ok with it.

So B really stands in the naughty corner until your hubby returns? I think time to be stern with him. If next round, he still like wants to play around, got to tell him not to do that. If he continues, you may want to consider what you did today, put him in naughty corner and don't give dinner (or give when he apologies)?
 
Yvonne where is your naughty corner? Want to create one for raeanne too but dun know where is safe cos she chews n climbs on anything. :p
 
Hi mommies

Dropping by to say hello again...and no, i'm not the mystery mommy haha. Also wondering who she is altho Steph said she's also in my frens list???

Anyway, i'm going back to Sg for yet another 1-week visit, 19-27March to attend a wedding and also for Ching Ming to pray to my papa.

Wondering if anyone wants to hold a mini gathering again...? Hehe. Still want to try my luck and meet more of the Jan08 babies.

Yvonne
One thing i've learnt from raising Rylee is to stay calm even amidst the storm they have created. Perhaps u'd like to change a bit of the practice u have. Put B in a high chair designated for eating when ur feeding him bfast, lunch and dinner. Do try to let him self feed if u can. I've read that this can prevent obesity and let him learn when he's full. It's not healthy for toddlers to still be fed when they're around 2-3 yrs old. If he drops food, then he'll soon learn next time (be patient) that next time he'll go hungry if he doesnt eat. Even if he throws a tantrum, be calm and just exclaimed, "oh, look at the mess u created, now u'll wont have dinner." Scoop up watever's left and let him eat them. If ur afraid of mess urself, of cos he'll be "jie pi" of the mess cos our kids mirrored our own actions and words. U have to send the message across to him that he doesnt get to u and that ur calm no matter wat. Soon, u'll be able to look him in the eye and tell him "look, mommy doesnt throw tantrum or raise my voice, now why do u want to do that?" I'm not saying i'm an expert lah...but i read about this and i find it's useful and make sense. I'm also STILL trying to grasp with Rylee's ever changing mood daily. But i do noticed that she is calmer when i AM calmer. There was once i totally lost it and thereafter i told myself nvr again. Next time u think he gets to u, walk away (but make sure he's in a safe place) count to ten and take deep breaths. Come back and handle him when he's calmer. Next time he'll learn. Trust me. I am a very impatient and bad temper person. But i know i NEED to learn to be calm in order for Rylee not to "inherit" my temper. I believe it can be done. How can we expect our kids not to have outbursts when we do so ourselves? Of cos it's not easy and we can vomit blood along the way. I'm still trying to improve everyday. There are days i still grit my teeth and told her "do u want mommy to use my angry voice?" Haha.

kitsune
Naughty corner can be anywhere. The point of of a naughty corner is not to punish but more for them to calm down when they misbehave. Kids this age dont act out against u personally, they're jus frustrated inside and testing boundaries. So they act out. U can put her at one spot and tell her to stand there until she has clear her mind. First few times, she will attempt to walk back to u or move. Just calmly and gently veer her back to where she's supp to stand and told her she shud stay there. She will cry (Rylee cried hysterically) and attempt to come back to u. Tell her u will come get her when she has calmed down. Of cos prior to this kind of outburst, u need to "teach" her some fun exercises on how to calm down. For Rylee, i did it like a fun game where i told her to imitate mommy to take deep breaths, saying Ohm, etc. So during outbursts, i told her " i know ur angry, but i need u to calm down and think about what u did" (kicked me, broke something). Reserved this for severe actions lah. Then u just calmly move away and pretend to be preoccupied with something else BUT at the same time, keep an eye on her. I always tell her u can come and hug Mommy and tell me ur sorry when ur calmed. I dont follow the Time Out 1min 1 year rule. So my time out is more for her to calm down. There was even once when i was driving and she had an outburst, slamming her head left and right against the car seat, i was freaking out worrying she'll injure herself but had to put up a brave front and calmly told her, u can continue doing that but ur just going to hurt urself, so Mommy is going to sing until u've calm down then u talk to me ok? It works, she thrashed for 3-4 times, then meekly told me, "mommy, 發完脾氣了。。“ I just gave her room to explode her own frustration lo.

Just to share my experience lah. Kids at this age really discovering a lot emotionally. Yet they dunno how to communicate efficiently yet altho they can speak fairly well. We need to be VERY patient with them and understand that they dont mean to "get to us" personally. Jiayou!!
 
Yvonne
Oh btw, u can buy Annabel Karmel's food mat, it's basically just a plastic mat, which can be folded and when opened up, it's like a huge poncho which i used since Rylee is 8-9 months old. I lay it right beneath her high chair and let her feed herself. Then u can get Bjorn brand of bibs (which is like a long sleeve top) from Mothercare and let him wears it (plastic and waterproof) and it wont ruin his shirt. Then just close one eye and let him feed himself!
 
Mylife, certainly love to meet up wif u and rylee. Hope I can make it to your gathering.

Yvonne, hugs! I know you don’t like the mess, but B will definitely need to start feeding himself so mess is inevitable. After months of trying mess will get lesser. Jiayou!
 
Thanks for the support mummies! B has just left for his grandparents' place cos I have an appointment and errands to run...a nice break for myself.

We used to have a high chair but B destroyed it! Can you believe it? I also dunno how he can destroy the metal bar which is supposed to lock the chair in place. We didn't get another one cos he's already 2 plus and he usually eats at the small ikea table. I'm terribly impatient and have tried my best to be very patient with him. I always explain and tell him why he shouldn't do certain things or how he should be doing it to avoid destroying the item. But he doesn't seem to take the soft approach well cos he takes it that it's ok to try it again since we're not angry. Even when he's being punished, he's still trying to play a fool. Whatever we say does not sink into his head for even 10 seconds!

mylife, I have tried to practice what you mentioned but unfortunately the outcome is slightly different. B will simply continue with the tantrum and sometimes he'll be on tanturm mode throughout that day. I want to stay calm all the time but he simply looks me in the eye and does the undesired behaviour...he simply wants to challenge me! I've tried to ignore but after his 5th attempt to get me angry....I really lost it! And my consolation is that he starts behaving after I've scolded/beaten/punished him. I'm really upset and sadly, I've decided to buy a cane. I know caning is not the desired method of parenting these days but he's probably one of those kids who still needs this method.
 
Morning
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tongtong,
saw yr note on my FB...tks! We will take MMR & chix pox jab separately
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Re: Singapore Flyer
Can i know when is the best timing to ride ? morning, noon or evening? TIA
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Sharing session: Healthy snack for our kids!

Last weekend I tried making blueberry fruitie pudding, it turned out nice!! I blended blueberries, apples, bananas – smoothie for drink. Then got more I put into the cup and freeze. Wow, like pudding leh! You can try that too, 100% healthier than junk and ice cream
 
Yvonne,

You are not alone! Your description of B's behaviour sounds exactly like my Z
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I've already bought a cane (for standby) since last yr. We will only use it when all attempt (soft & hard approach/distraction mode) fails. We just need to be VERY patient with them loh.
 
morning mummies!!

heavy topic....behaviour leh...

i think no child is same - some take the soft approach, some takes the hard approach.

yvonne, i think your boy takes the hard approach so no matter how caning seems "bad", and if it discipline your child, go ahead bah.

nowadays my boy sees the 'cane" he will say "beat, beat". and he thinks its FUNNY! and when i asks him, do you want mummy to beat you? he nods his head *faintz*

nowadays (eg yest evening) when we refuses his request, he will cry hysterically and lie face down on the floor...for the next 15mins...and my mil is not helping, she keeps talking to him, cajoling him etc, which feeds onto his outburst and he gets more hysterical. yest i told my mil to ignore him, which she did - for 10secs and then goes back to him again. i really oso dunno how to handle this. he does that in my mil place but not so much at mine. just pushing his boundaries oso lor.
 
hi mummies, i am nt wrking today coz my girl kana fever. i guess she prob got it from her friends in childcare. tis is onli the second week, reali hope she can immune to 'those germs' asap.

wana ask mummies who kids go cc? does the cc allow ur kids to go sch if they r sick? hw strict is the usual guidelines? if serious runny nose/cough w green /yellow muscus is it allow?

i know fever n gastric flu is a BIG NONO.

Btw, who is the preggie mummy? out thread hasnt been so excited so long eh.... seldom hear 'gd news'....
 
Yvonne,
That's why I always say I totally SALUTE all SAHMs. Esp for you, with no helper, just you and B in the house.

Agree with others, think it's good for B to learn self feed. Close one eye on the mess lah, and at his age now, think he can do well after a few days of practice. Don't have to start with a bowl full of food, can let him start with only a couple of spoon of rice, or whatever that is easy to clean up. While he is trying to feed himself, you can feed him also. Until he can feed himself well, then you can let him to decide how much he wants to eat. For HR, it's always on the high chair, either he feeds himself or I feed him. Once he is out of the high chair, no more food.

Since you have your ILs to back you up, you want to consider to park B there once a week for half a day for 1 day, so that you can have me time for yourself.

I read and learned that kids this age like parents to talk to them. We tried in on HR, and it worked! Whenever he is not happy, we just talk and talk and talk, and everytime we manage to calm him down. We don't use any disciplining method, and I am so glad that we don't have to.

This is the age they really learn a lot and fast. So just bear with him for another year. When they turn 3, think things are going to be a lot better. Jia you!!!
 
aqua,
HR's cc is strict when the kids have fever. Will call us to bring back the kids asap. Runny nose and cough they are not so strict, cos these take a long time to recover and it's very common, so it's impossible for the parents to not go to work for 1 week if not longer.


tongtong,
Chaye has 2 kids already lor.
 


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