(2007/06) June 2007 MTB

elaine, i think hor when one is angry, he will say things in the heat of the moment...don take whatever things he say seriously when he is angry...frankly speaking, sometimes when i am angry wif hb, i will also say some hurting thigs to him but he knows tat is not the truth...

no matter how unwilling your hb is, u try to convince him to go for counselling, and i mean not only him, u also leh (hope u not angry)so tat u can see things from his perspective n vice versa...the saying "men r from mars & women r from venus" r very true...sometimes I feel tat u need to relax lor n try to let your maid handle him for a while, while u n hb go out n relax relax...don worry abt the maid not able to pat dylan to sleep...if u don let her try, the maid will never able to do tat lor...sometimes i feel tat u need to let go lor...it is precisely u r holding on to so much, tat y u r so stressed...be strong ya...

my parents r also divorced, so i know wat it is like also...n pls don tink of 2nd one till your marriage is stablised ya...
 


Sng's mummy
wahahahahahhahahaha

My firend say..I pamper him too much
House reno... he dun even need to chip in..as I am paying... anything in the house... he ALL DUNNO WHERE they are placed... anything finish or finishing..always have ready stock on stand-by

then I realise...most dad dun really care...
My uncle actually say...there could ONLI be 1 voice in the household...
2 voices..SURE QUARREL one... so he remain silent... not that he hack care.. but he really CANNOT bwe heard....wahahahahahahhahahaha
 
Sng's mummy
wait har...
he wear SHORTS leh... how can it come dun...unless he step REALLY high...

PJS.... he dun even try...will scream for u to remove...
But think he will fall if he really left step right right step left la
 
Elaine, if thats the case then really have to wait for your hb to be more matured before you plan for 2nd one. Its easier to settle 1 kid in case divorced...*touch wood lah*

Actually hor...I think most sole breadwinner will expect that they only concentrate on making money and not be bothered about anything else.

Glayz, you are really one weird girl. I always wonder why you marry your hb.
 
Glayz, yes.. i agree to what ur uncle say leh.. but it's tiring to make decisions loh.. If anything goes wrong, even if he don't blame me, i will blame myself, especially when it comes to the children..

Even buying my current home, i am the only one making the decision.. so u see? the amount of stress at home?

But then again, letting him make decisions, i think i can die earlier.. like last weekend, he in the mood of going genting, pick me from office on friday at 6pm with my platoon in the car.. Make me go to genting and F-ed all the pple there in order to get a room.. sunday rush back, now this poor wife sick cos not enuff zzz... he make more such decision, i think this poor wife will short of the few years to go holiday with him when we retire.. haha
 
Sng's mummy
WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sometimes I sit..look at him ...and really wonder why i marry him leh!!!
He need his mom..not me...wahahahahahhahaha

That time super piss off...almost tell him we D..then u go marry ur mum (his dad pass away liao mah...)
 
SNG mom...upon reflection... actually wedun have much communication, when dylan sleeps at 8 plus, i am stuck in the room with him, darkness, hubs will be eating dinner and watching tv in living room, come in only to sleep. ...after reading your post, i feel more assured. guess i was not the only one who quarrels w hubs in early stages.hopefully can brainwash him ...

ros, last time i used to go out w hubs at nigh on fri and leave dylan w maid, but then my in laws keep disturbing the maid to do things while she is supposed to be looking after dylan. after i found out tt dylan cried and maid was not ard, i ended the fri night thing...maybe i should start it again... and tell in laws not to do that.

glayz, you really do alot for your hubs, i hope he better appreciate you.i cant be like you, i will find it skewed and not balance, maybe i am still too young/stubborn?but communication is important rite.? i am talking about the love we used to feel when dating with husbands. i feel like it is kinda gone now with baby.

bear
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no worries, i think no. 2 will be far far away from now.i also have phobia looking after babiesafter this episode dylan fell sick
 
elaine, i think hor u shld bring back the fri nite outing n tell your in laws not to ask the maid to do things when she tried to put dylan to sleep...and i find tat communication is very impt lor...u must talk to your hb everyday n jus talk abt wat u r doing at home n he doing at work lor...hb n I will find it a pt to talk to each other everynite lor or else one day we will become strangers lor w/o communication...i also feel tat going out as a couple is gd lor n since u got a maid, better make full use of it lor..i wanna go out wif hb for some couple time also cannot lor as there is no one we can find to look after amadeus at nite...
 
glayz, i also echo irene's sentiment lor...but love is blind...hahaha...anyway now married liao so jus have to make it work lor no matter wat mah...
 
Ros..i think i will establish that again. ..hopefully dylan is not that difficult if he wakes to the maid.i seriously do miss those times. thanks for bringing it up cus i think it will help, yet i keep putting it aside, if no one ask me to do it, it would probably be kiv forever.
 
Elaine, why not every night you go sit down with your hb when he is having dinner and chat with him? It should be a 30mins affair but at least its some chat/communication.
 
bear, cant lei.. u know why anot. cause that period of time i be making dylan sleep, if he sleeps any later, he be cranky and give me alot of shit. maybe after he slps, i try to talk to hubs...i think i have to make an effort.

ros, bear, glayz, sng mom, thanks so much for listening and advising, i feel alot better.. hopefully things turns out better soon. hubs just came back. he straightway went to sleep===sigh. think i should go off too. nights.
 
elaine, feeling better liao..
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Actually, you can make small efforts to spend time with hb everyday especially when dylan sleeps so early.. u are very fortunate in that sense. When dylan zzz, u put him in his cot then go and sit down with lao gong, spend time, talk to him etc.. After dinner, watch TV in the room together also give u and lao gong a chance to cuddle in bed.. I used to want to watch channel 5 while hb channel 8 or channel u.. Give in loh.. Just have to give in so that he can also share the TV in the room
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elaine, regarding doing everything, it is normal for us woman... men are always pampered, firstly by their grandma, then mother, so i guess they expect to be pampered by their wife too... but i must say that ur hb should appreciate what you hv done for the family rather than saying those hurtful stuffs to you... like the rest say maybe u wanna hv couple time once a week, if cannot at least once a month... maybe he misses those times you all had b4 dylan comes along... maybe plan a suprise for him, and when he is happy, have a good and long talk with him, abt what u have been doing for the family, abt how u feel, and ask abt his thoughts, feelings and worries... i am sure you all can talk it out... :)
 
morning,

lin, i am also glad its friday already!!! hee...

elaine, can ask u.. u keep saying u are young but hw young are u? i saw u mention something like 2 and 9.. both hb and u the same?
 
hi hi morning ladies!
haven't been checking in here for some time... as usual so much to catch up with! aiyo... can't keep up with you gals!
 
Morning Ladies..

Elaine,
i haven been following ur blog and i know ur siuation with ur hubby.. I agree with Ros spending couple time is important.. That's y i told u leave Dylan with ur maid a nite or so.. u dun have to wori no matter how bb will still come to his mummy.. You n ur hubby mayb can go pak tor or wat.. sometimes i leave Jovial with my grandma coz we can spend couple time 2gether.. is reali important or ur marriage will turn dull..remember i told u maybe u can go out work or do something for urself like spending a day shopping or wat? seriously i tink u nd a break if not sooner or later u will fall into depression..
 
Rina, I think Elaine is a year or two younger than her hb. She did declare her age after I asked her over here.

Elaine, how about your mum? Can she help you with Dylan?

Hui, I hardly spend er ren shi jie with hb one. But I think we make it a point to chat when we can.
 
morning mummies. thanks so much for advice. just came bac from yu guo. alot of cab fare...but never mind, that's not the pt.

sng mom, hubs and i dun slp together cause the room does not allow us to do so, i slp w dylan on a queen size matt, hubs slep besides us but below us, picture that? the thing is gillman heights gonna be enbloc, so there is no pt renovating. this is actually better than in the past when we slept in the living room---3 mattresses, i live with in laws and SIL! ccause we din knock down all the build in in the room till i insisted so, hubs wun be the kind to think of such things. ..So compared to that , that will be a big change liao. but i guess i will have to make the effort to go talk to him every night....he wun be the kind that takes the initiative.

db, thanks, will try talk to him tonight, scary though. but hope he wipe that tot off his head.

rina, i am 27...
hui , bear, my mom cant help, she stay all way in yishun and recently she is also very sick. her back keep aching, she is the kind that will always complain here pain there pain, in the end, i am not working have to also pay for her chiropractor...not cheap.so i dun expect her to help already.she healthy can liao. MIL clueless to babysitting and she is working.... but i will try to relive the once a week pak tor days cus hui, you are very right, my marriage is on the rocks, very dull now.made worse when i am so exhausted to think of things to make it livier and hubs is not the kind to do so and i feel very neglected... i tell him so, he say i am overreacting....wonder where did all the initiative went too last time when he chased me. guys are always like that. hopefully dylan not like that in future. must teach him to ten his lao po.
 
Morning
elaine
find some time out for urself and hb... i also dun have much er ren shi jie.. somemore with the 3rd kid coming now.. lucky my hb can use msn during work, we'll chat over msn in the daytime. make use of whatever time u have lor.. leave dylan to ur maid, MIL or mum.. sometimes we need to take a break from our kids.. always bear in mind.. "the one growing old with u is ur hb, not dylan"

argh... i feel so clumsy now.. haiz.. must "tong".. now coming 35 weeks soon
 
Elaine,
tink guys after marriage is like that..but gers when pak tor usuali hack care but after marriage will try ways to brighten their marriage.. u can leave Dylan with maid for nite then u can have nice dinner with hubby and watch a movie... one week once or twice i tink is ok bah.. EVen daytime u can sms him or he can sms u taken lunch blar blar small bits here n there also help
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elaine, alternatively.. if u all drive can leave dylan and the maid wif ya mother at yishun then at least there is someone to monitor the maid also if you dun feel safe leaving dylan alone with the maid at home.. :D

i guess married life change when we start having children and we need to make the effort to adapt and make the best out of it.. i am sure u can do it one.. have more faith in your marriage k..
 
elaine.....

some suggestions:
1) sms hb when he is at work? i sms my hb when i am pumping milk in school he replies when he is free. sometimes it's just a "how's yr day so far?" or " what did u eat for lunch today?"

sometimes my hb would sms in the morn " i miss u already" and that makes my day hahah.

it only takes a few minutes to sms.
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2) leave notes for each other? we used to leave notes for each other and stick on the mirror in the bathroom but now we have a maid we dun do it anymore kekeke :p

3) go for late night supper/ride in the car- hb and i would choose (usually a friday night) a night to stay up late and wait for Gabriel to be sound asleep. Then I will wrap Gabriel in his blankie and carry him and then we will go for a ride in the car. sometimes we will go to kallng or east coast's macs or kfc's drive thru and buy a sundae or pack of fries. then we park the car at a nearby car park and eat and chit chat while Gabriel is sound asleep in my arms or in the car seat.

sounds like u are quite mad at hb for not being sensitive to yr needs and not taking initiative to work at yr marriage or being an active dad. sometimes guys just need to be told what to do because they are clueless to what we want. but they respond best when we make them feel like their in charge or they are respected- must feed their ego.

i once saw a post card that says " a wise wife will make her hb feel like he is king but she knows that she is the real power behind the throne"
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very tired...
athan's down with chicken pox and eye infection...
sad.gif


last nite went to kkh at 10pm...by the time we were done with the doc's...its already 12am+...only managed to koon at close to 2am...haizz...

today went back office to clear some of my stuffs and now back at my mum's...
lemme read back...brb
 
sporty why dun u go nap first? take care....where did athan catch the pox virus? how is he? any medication for him? hope he gets well soon
 
SPorty, CHICKEN POXS?? Where did athan catch it from???

Lin, aiyo.. u married for how long? haha.. if i sms my lao gong that i miss him, he will reply with a SIAO! haha.. like today, i sms him, LUNCH? he said "NO".. so i ask him how come last time every day can eat together, now cannot.. he replied "as u say, LAST TIME".. hahahahaha...

Elaine, like what Lin says, i also make it a point to go macdonalds in wee hours with hb for fries, coke, or even internet.. We bring 2 lappies, but we chat on msn there while doing work. U may say we can also do that at home, but the problem is, at home, we will just talk.. at macdonalds we will look around, laugh.. Like few days back we were having supper at simpang bedok, i was telling hb to order sotong.. He said no.. so when the couple at the next table didn't eat their sotong, hb smsed me (it's rude to talk bout pple infront of them) and tell me there is sotong at the next table not finished.. it's stupid, but we were giggling like little kids again.. not say u and hb need to do that, but these are just some ideas what we do to spice up our boring life..
 
powerpuffs, i'm sure u can tong till his first bday...its juz one more mth! jia you
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j & mum, i agree with irene tha u are totally hooked on pumping...think u will do it for more than a yr definitely! i never store my bm ever since i went back to work as athan dun drink them...so all my stocks now are like "expired" and we use them to bathe him or my mum use them to soak her feet...hahha

sharon, alamak...i meant any other day NOT 14 April...jia you on bfing for ur #2...s

rina, seems like u are on shopping mode recently...so keen to kno abt good buys at JL sale...hehhe

sng, hope u are already well from ur flu...take care!

sweet, seems like u already plan swee swee on when to ttc for ur #2...hehe

pooh, hope u are feeling ok today...hang on...one more week rite?? hope ur hb gets a job soon...dun worry too much...

caitlyn, enjoy bintan
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guess u shd have reached there now liao...u sure u wanna look for a job...u said tha after u popped tha time leh but till now no action...lol

elaine, sorry to hear abt what happened b/w u and hb...i guess its best to give and take in a marriage...so sometimes have to close one eye abit la...cheer up!
 
sporty
huh?! can use bm to bath ar?? dun have that sticky feeling? ya lor, tong one more week.. basically now everything have liao.. except nursing bras.. juz cant remember where i've placed it

sng
my hb also la.. sms him say "i miss him".. then this wood only reply "huh? ok"..
 
Hi SNG..
thought i m the only siao one who chat with hb on msn even when he is sitting in front of me...hehe..now gt another kaki liao...

Hi Sporty..
How is athan?Hope he will get well soon!!
 
lin, dun think i can nap as i need to take over from my mum who took care of him last nite...

lin/sng/pooh, we dunno where he gotten the virus from...the doc juz told us tha the virus is in the air...he got very runny nose, spots all over, swollen eye lids but still as active la...yes, on a few medications to stop the itch and some antibiotics i think...i also hope he gets well soon

pooh, ya...milk bath mah...after tha rinse again with bathing foam and water la...of cuz not sticky...
 
SPorty,
hope Athan get well soon.. bb get chick pox tink will recover fast coz toxic in their body not as bad as adult or big kids..Juz worried they go scratch n leave scar..
 
elaine, i hope that things will work out fine b/w u and hb, try to talk things over. divorce shouldnt be even in the picture.

i agree with lin's last statement "a wise wife will make her hb feel like he is king but she knows that she is the real power behind the throne". i always believe that co-existing with the men in our life is just like flying kites, u need to know when to tighten or loosen the string. mens are egoistic by nature (they want to feel impt) so u must learn to "stroke" their ego at times, of coz there are times where it also works when we are adopting the hard method. it all depends on the situation and the emotions at that time. basically push the right button when the situation calls for it
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sporty, oh dear hope that athan is not feeling too poorly. wish him a speedy recovery!
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trishelle also having loose stools since last nite, still mointoring her condition. if need to, will bring her to see PD
 
sporty, omg... ahtan got the chicken pox virus before he can go for the vaccination.. poor boy.. i was worrying for jerral also.. must take care of yaself too.. :D hope he recover soon!

re shopping mood.. seem like it leh... looking for ways to pamper myself... heehee...

sng/ken-ma, we dun msn each other while sitting opposite, we play online games together... :D
 
ken ma, thanks for ur concern...his swollen eyes gotten better liao but still need to see the specialist on monday...

hui, yes...i hope so too...the doc gave some anti itch medication as well so hopefully he wun scratch...anyyways noticed of the water blisters already burst liao, so hopefully no scars la...

sweet, thanks... juz put him to sleep...dun think will recover so fast... abt 2 weeks ba...hope its nothing serious for trishelle...

rina, ya...before he can go for the jab he kena liao...nvm la...earlier better than later...haha
 
hi sporty...
dun worry abt the scars...kids metabolisim very high one.. healing power also super gd..athan face will still be as smooth as an egg..keke...
 
sporty, meanwhile u and mr sporty have to be exra careful if both of u havent had chicken pox before. it's quite contagious. told my dad to mointor her le, if somemore diarrhoea or she runs a fever, i will bring her to see PD immediately, other than that, she's still normal and active as usual
 
db/irene, thanks

ken ma, hopefully ba...cuz at least their diet now still mainly milk, so no worries of eating soya sauce or what tha old pple will say tha they will cause scars to darken...

sweet, i had it before so i'm not worried...mr sporty haven had it yet but he's keen to have it...hahhaha...anywyas its contagious this week...next week when they dry up shd be ok liao...
 
Sporty, ya.. don't let athan scratch.. Realize our babies know how to scratch now liao..

Ken-ma, hahaha... we communicate better on MSN... if we speak, sometimes we end up quarreling.. Silence is golden.. but silence doesn't mean cannot express our feelings.. hahahahaha.. also hor, sometimes say i love you face to face sounds so weird.. but i love u over sms or msn is lots easier.. haha.. thanks to technology!
 


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