mist,
get a maid first. even if your mum is unable to help u, but she can help to watch your maid right? whatever it is, get a maid first.
with your situation, if you get a nanny, it is also feasible but you will be more xin1 ku3 yourself since your hb is not around sometimes (at night).
even if you have a maid, you still need to take leaves when ah boy is sick and unable to go to cc. right? so nomatter what you choose, the outcome is still the same, just be gung kor a bit, for 1-2 years then everything should be ok. (only if you can take it)
1. get a maid, X still go cc, bb at home with maid, plus a pair of old eyes (be it your mil or mum). u take leave when X is sick.
2. get a nanny, X go cc, bb with nanny (with the option to standby for some nights when hb is not around). u take leave when X is sick
3. X goes cc, bb go infant care. u need to take leave as long as ONE of them is sick. (WORST!)
X's health better now? time to further boost his health now.
Actually i wanna tell u that I was mentally under stress when mil helped us take care of tian (month 3 to month 6) last time. eventhough i know that she dotes on her, etc etc, but i still have many things that i have to be careful so that she wont be offended. that kind of life is also not easy for me. she can also RESIGNED anytime and we have to get our own back up plans immediately.
then with nanny? also the same cause we do not know them well and we are under their mercy too.
everything is a HENG suay thing. nanny also can strike de.
before you get a maid or nanny, must go bai4 bai4, ok?
cause maid also can run away.
in conclusion, no stress. whatever you choose, it will turn out ok de. human are very very good in adapting to changes and new environment.