Last evening when I went back to MIL home, it certainly didn't help that little L was fussing to be carried yet not sleeping, MIL passed him to me, my elder boy wanna me carry and keep asking me to put down his bro. my boy still down with flu, cough, fever, thus once he keep crying, his flu worsen. MIL was angry and really fall into a rage, keep scolding my boy, ask him to listen, once didi sleep then carry him, but he keep wanting me to carry.
I don't have the habit to scold him, I sayang him tell him wait for didi sleep first but maybe partly coz he sick, he don't want and cry when I never put down didi. MIL deemed it my fault, saying whole day my boy is ok, everytime when I'm home, he will keep cry cry cry and thus flu won't get well. MIL really 'fa huo' take cane and ask him stand outside till stopped crying then can come in, I can see her practically dragging him out. I was heartpain but what can I do, there's still little L.
At that moment, my HB came back, my MIL in a fit of anger told him I caused boy to be like that.. ask me bring little L home, don't ma fan her and my #1. I can sense my HB was hurt and angry at that point of time but he never rebuke back. He even say maybe we shdn't have little L at all, since nobody loved him.
I knew its not easy on my MIL to take care of both and also need to take care of her household, prepare dinner for us, somemore she's sick. But I was really hurt when she keep saying its me who cause my boy to keep crying, telling him u got no mummy liao, ask mummy dont come back. So no matter what, I still respect her coz I know she done a lot for us and I believe what she said was in a fit of anger coz she really takes good care of them.
But I can't help feeling worried, what if she falls into a rage again, now am so scared if I go home 2night, same thing happens??.. haiz..
Personally I feel its not my #1 fault for wanting me carry, especially now he's sick, yet everybody keep scolding him for not understanding he got a didi, he just turned 2 only. I feel more and more depressed after the episode last night.. I feel I am the cause of it all.. for giving birth to little L to suffer, for causing #1 to get more scoldings and sometimes beatings...
