(2007/02) February

Stella,
I understand abt the point can forgive but cannot forget. Since ur hb oredi explained to u and is with u now, dun dwell over the past for too long. Let it be a closed chapter.
 


stella, aiyoh, poor girl.. sayang. Although I've not been thru your experience,I'm also having very weird dreams at night. Last night, I dreamt my hubby slept with my son's preschool teacher (ADOI!!!!!) and wasn't sorry at all.. woke up at 3am VERY ANGRY and hard to read to conk myself out again. Weird pregnancy dreams. Woke up this morning and I wanted to punch him..haha..must remember it's just a bad dream. So weird, was never like tt during first pregnancy. :p Don't think so much 'k? Think it's the weird pregnancy hormones working on your brain.

Cherryale, read the good news abt the amnio.. thank God!
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So happy for you!!

Still not looking preggers lei.. think I am not putting on so much weight 'cos not much time to snack at home unlike office munch munch munch
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But less time to log in to forum lor.
 
stella, you're right... since you've made decision to go ahead with this marriage then try not to dwell so much on the past liao.
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smurfy, everything is uncertain in life lor.... one of my col just left with immed effect on Mon and no one knows what really happened. Sigh... Wow, your bb doing gung fu inside your tummy.

Ah ger, hahaha.... I just added to many "....." that's all. Ya, my wt gain abt 3kg so far. Didnt gain much though I think I eat alot leh. I think I feel something on my left side every nite but it's very slight movement lor. Not sure if it's bb's movement also.

Catz, so you enjoying yourself at home with your boi?
 
Stella - sorry to hear abt tat. Does ur hb allow u to chk his emails? Wat will his reaction b if u tell him?

Can understand why you are feeling so vexed over this. Bt since ur hb told u his focuses, then just relax urself. Besides if u can feel his change, then the more u shld nt worry. Must trust him. Did he sort things out w/ tat woman?

My fren also like tat, think after ROM bt b4 wedd, he also had something like tat. My fren was devastated cos theirs was marathon r/s. She calmed herself dwn for mths b4 telling herself to give themselves another chance. Right nw the hb treats her so well. Guess once bitten twice shy & he really felt very loss @ the pt of really losing her.
 
giggler,
kekeke those bb's kicks are really reassuring for me. at least i know bb is doing well. coz mummy is like those super weak type.
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catz,
so which is better? work or home? but this question too early to ask oso hahahah
 
infact I also had a bad bream during 1st tri. I dreamt hb had a so-called affair w/ another woman. Then he treated me as though I was transparent, tat woman was his priority. Tat was a bad dream, I cried & cried & cried. When I woke up, my face was all wet. Bt I din tell hb wat I dreamt.
 
Giggler, smurfy, yes I'm enjoying the time with my boy but hor, VERY TIRING! At night, I'm really exhausted but much happier than being at work lor.. no rush hour jam, no stupid boss.. but this SAHM thing is really tiring..maybe 'cos I'm pregnant. But my boy now getting sticky to me again.. maybe he's scared I will run back to work. haha..
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Anyone else wanna join me? ;) I guess I'm not the super career type.. my dad very upset 'cos he spent so much $$ to send me for overseas studies and now, end up housewife..kekeke
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Gig - I felt tat also, bt it's very light, can hardly feel them if u r nt in a calm mind. Maybe bcos our skin is thicker bah. Ha ha ha..........
 
smurfy...this question very difficult to answer leh..... till now me still thinking abt it whether or not. My hb wanted me to be SAHM after i give birth but i scared hor....later become "huang lian po". As my hubby travel very frequent & also need to entertain pretty often...me scared later he find me ugly & old & naggy.........

shall see how 1st.....will come to a decision after ML. I thought of proposing working 3 days a wk. so can hv personal time & be nice nice & also can take care of children & family.
Not sure whether my boss buy the ideal or not, will talk to him after my ML.
 
I dreamt that I killed someone. Boyboy wanted to do his best to get me acquited. But I told him no point coz its murder and ask him go find another woman, though I really wished to live with him for the rest of my life. Woke up with a tear in my eye and reaffirming what I said lor, that he is the one I want to live with for the rest of my life.
 
Catz - I def can't b SAHM, cos we r nt well-financed, we need dbl income in order to run the family. Hb has nv asked me to b SAHM, he knew I can't sit still either. He only said when back frm ML, resign then get another job.
 
Ah ger..

he is okay if i check his hp and emails. we had gone thr counselling sessions and we did compromise on wat to do in order to rebuild the trust. And he also finds that the more transparent his actions, the more beneficial it is. But we made a pact not to reply to any emails to the woman cos we dont want to invite unneccessary trouble.

Yep he did sort things out with her, but ultimately as my hb says, we cant control wat she thinks and wat she does. Since she did nothing drastic, the best is to let the email incident pass.
 
Tat day while I was reading the bk "Wat to Expect While Expecting", I read a part on dreams. It says watever u dream of is associated w/ ur worries.

For eg u dream of hw bb will look like & etc is perhaps u kept thinking abt bb's development.

So perhaps if I dreamt of hb having affair, maybe I was worried tat hb may nt want me anymore after I go out of shape?

Bt it's very interesting to know & I find them quite true.
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Toying with the idea of SAHM. But cannot convince myself. Financially might need to struggle and manage. And most of hbs friends wives are still working despite giving birth. Dun wanna feels inferior in front of them. But more scared later I go crazy being at home and lost touch with the world.
 
Hi Stella, yeah so long as he doesn't respond to her, just let that woman be. Sooner or later she will just stop cos she knows ur hb is simply nt interested in her anymore.

Another of my gf, on the rocks w/ her hb, haben gone thru customary. They hv bn thinking of divorcing long ago, bt I asked her to give it a try, talk things out. If nt seek counselling cos they can hear wat both of u really wanna relate. Perhaps it's lack of the communication skills.

My gf is the hard kind, so is the hb. Infact she & her hb are exactly of me & my hb's character. I told her, certain things hv to learn to let loose, if nt life will b very miserable. I told her ever since after married, I've learnt to take some things easier. Though I still throw tantrums & pick up arguments, bt @ least they r more of the logical kind. & I learn to give in @ times when there is a need to.

Perhaps tats part of growing bah, & to learn the b4 & after of marriage.
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Or shld I say bcos I m getting old, then I've learn to 'c broken' alot of things? ha ha ha......
 
Smurfy - u can do p/t lor, like doing those 1/2 days 5 day per wk kind of job. If u flip thru papers, @ times I think tare are some Co hiring such ppl. @ least u r nt totally out of the world & @ the same time, u r nt a yellow face woman.
 
stella,

i understand how hard to erase .. since your hubby promised everything will be fine then u should feel better ... rite ?
try not to think so much and focus on your little bb inside u ..

and be happy .. cause whenever u feel your bb move .. it's very assuring ..
 
Smurfy - everybody has tis pre-wedd blues. I had lotsa quarrels w/ my hb during wedd preps. Simply bcos we can nv cme to an agreement to watever we had. I also tot of cancelling off eveything bt eventually I told myself, I shld nt worry too much.

On the BIG DAY, u will just 4get everything & enjoy. By then u will think bac "y is the day so short?" B4 u know it, it's over.

Dun worry too much, it's just part & parcel of wedd path.
 
the whole rm is filled w/ ppl - I go also will Q like mad! Hmm............. maybe just go outside & chat w/ my coll instead. :p
 
ah ger,
my timing very cramp. i going to his house only after 1pm, then it is straight all the way till dinner without any rest.

i scared i cannot take it and turn pale. worse faint. dun ask me eat too much tonic now, body will reject and vomit or turn heaty, giddy...
 
Hi stella,
Dun think abt it... must try to think positively then ur BB will be happy when BB is born. Although i have not been ur shoe be4 but i do experience such incident when i am with my x-bf , the feeling is hard to describe, is like been betrayed by someone tt is so close to u and u got no one to turn to for help.
 
Hi stella,

i read that during pregnancy, we tend to feel alone and worried. Hence we really need our partners to show that they care and love us. We can also become more clingy to our partner. I know I am like that so I told my hb yesterday about this so that he knows he has to give me more attention. Perhaps you can also tell your hb this? Must be cheerful ok, then baby will have pleasant personality and smiley. Take care.

Catz, I had those funny dreams about hb before too. Woke up feeling angry with him and cant help but give him a kick then I will explain that it is cos of what he did in MY dreams!! haha, poor hb. Very difficult to join u as SAHM though I will like to. hb will be super stressed over finances and will affect our relationship in the long run. actually we are both earning decent money but dun know why still cant survive on one income.

Smurfy, for my wedding it was one full day, woke up at 5am for makeup and hair, go without breakfast as I was already late, then tea ceremony at hb's place then church wedding followed by lunch reception (sit-down wedding dinner type)then back to mum's place for tea ceremony, reached hotel at 4.30pm bathed and have to get ready for wedding dinner. The entire day I only get to eat 1 egg from the dessert that my mum made for us. Can u imagine how faint I felt esp since my friends made me drink like mad at the wedding dinner. Now that u are pregnant, u MUST definitely eat during the day. I made the mistake of going round the tables to take photos with our guests during lunch reception and missed lunch too.
 
hey gals,,

thanks for ur concern. I am feeling better now. cos in life there is no room for regret.. since i choose the path, there is no pt going back track.

agree with ah ger that sometimes certain things we have to let loose alittle. I used to quarrel alot of my hb ,shout here and there kind. After this incident, both of us reflected the hidden problems in our marriage. Sort of blessing in disguise bah.
 
My boss still dunno i pregnant. Haha...
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And I am planning to beg him to give me 3 months maternity leave (as my bb will most likely a Msian so only entitle 2 months).
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Ah ger, actually i like to know my bb's gender, at least I can refer my bb a "he' or "she" instead of now "he or she" mah...

Ya, better try to avoid chemical stuff during pregnancy if possible. Thot of go curl my hair before i learn of my pregnancy, then by the time i really pregnant, can't go liao. Now my hair so very long (almost till my waist) and messy.
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cherryale,
me afraid no time to sit down n rest. even more, i walk for 15minutes, i breathless oredi :/

i always see pregnant women looking so radient, nice looking hair and healthy. then i look at myself and wonder, how come i exact opposite
 
JC, if my hubby ask me to stay at home and take care of kids, i sure say ok! But we have too much financial commitments so must have double income to support the family. I am thinking the same as you, wld like to propose flexible working hours to boss too, but afraid wat will other female colleagues think! They are mothers too and most of their kids are young as well...

Stella, let the past be the past. Wat's important is your present and future together!
 
Yday at Robinson saw a preggie woman. She looks so pretty and slim despite the big tummy. From the back you won't know she is pregnant... Then look at myself, the hip is getting wider and bigger since pregnancy...
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smurfy, its true that it's assuring to be able to feel bb's movement...
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Just let your hb or 'sisters' know that you not feeling well on wedding day if you really dun feel well lor. You wont want to faint or whatsoever (touch wood) on your big day rite? Rem to eat hor? Ask your frens to bring you food to eat once there's chance to eat. Haha... diff women take preg differently lah. Maybe you shd meet me cos I also look very haggard this time round.

RE:Bad dreams
So funny that most of you got similar dreams and it's abt hb having affairs hor? Maybe that's one of the greatest fear that we have?

Catz, you got any schedule like PVL? Will you home-sch your boi? Me hoping to join you next yr after I give birth... hehehe

Ah ger, hahaha.... maybe tat's why we cant feel much of bb's movement. I thinking to look for job during ML too.

JC, 3 days a week is good idea. My fren working for half day but like not much time for work leh. So think work 3 days a week is a better idea.

stella, it seems that both you and hb had settled that issue. So you really shouldnt dwell on it now... Think of bb to cheer yourself up ok?
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ck, I plan to look see a few shops first leh. Thot of gg to MM, PM and maybe Blossom to check out.

Jas, my gynae said that as long as the chemical dont touch scalp is ok, so perm shd be ok lah. But of cos if you still worry then better dun perm. Since you'd like to know bb's gender why still dun want to know?
 
Hello Jas,
You are Malaysian too? My baby is going to b Malaysian too. I didn't know we only get 2 months maternity leave. I thought standard 3 months. That's what I am getting form my company.
 
Giggler, if u have time should go to cloud 9, think they have a branch at OUB centre too, not sure. I usually go to suntec. I like their skirt. It is reasonably priced, nice cutting and very comfy. Sometimes I will buy the same cutting in different colours. The skirt I am wearing now is dark brown, fitting at the hip then flare out, very nice
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Jas you should find out if bb is boy or girl cause if girl u can apply pr for bb but if boy u can't unless u don't mind your son serving NS. BB boy we have to always renew bb pasport every month.
 
bac frm a gd gd lunch! *yummy*

Had 2 bowls of dessert - almond cubes. Wah..........

Smurfy - is ur wedding held @ a hotel or just a restaurant? If nt, when u rch ur hb's hse @ 1pm, then do the tea ceremony & etc, tgt to leave @ 2.30pm. Then go to the hotel & get some rest, wake up @ 4.30, bathe then MUA cme @ 5.30pm to doll u up. No matter wat u shld get some rest. may nt be slp dwn rest bt @ least relax urself, uhv a soak in the bathtub, then just lie on the bed/ sofa w/o any rush moments.

My wedd - I slept @ 2am, cos I was doing wrist corsages, woke up @ 4am to bathe then do last min nails painting cos the day b4 I had no time to leave the hse. Hb came @ 8.30am I think, then to & fro event lasted till ard 2+. Rch hotel 3pm, then we just had a quick rest, took a soak bath then ard 5pm my MUA came, cos I wanted to go dwn during the cocktail session.

Then hiccups came, I 4got to take my hp, had it w/ my gf, then last min cancellations, then my gf forwarded all to my hb's hp. PIL side suddenly had increase in guests. Then we had to revise the whole guest list like arranging tables & etc.

We ordered room service food bt end up I din even get to touch them @ all.

Bt @ least all went well thru the dinner. Kinda missed it nw.
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Luckily we had videos & pics for remembrance.

CK/ Gig - shopping!!!!! Yeah, no prob, just let me know.
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Since u would like to know then y dun u ask the gynae to show u? Y do u wanna kip in suspense then?
 
Hi gals

thanks for ur support and i am thankful that no one judge me as "stupid" cos i do get a lot of pple saying that y so stupid to give the man a second chance.

smurfy..

if u feel hungry, bring some snacks to the bridal car..heehee i actually ate some snacks while travelling.
 
Sap, the maternity leave in Singapore is 12 weeks, the company pays for the first 8 weeks, then the last 4 weeks is paid by government. So, if your baby is not going to be Singapore citizen, then govt will not pay. It is then up to your company to decide if they want to foot the bill.
 
ah ger,
it's at a resturant, cannot find hotels so last minute, though it's on a monday nite .. the wrist corsages, i thinking of asking whether the bridal studio does it or not or whether any florist shops do it. i am now stuck with the slideshow of courting days.
 
cherryale,
I was not aware of that. That's bad news for me. Can't claim $$, now this
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Have to check HR already. Don't know if $10 will be enough as a backup for bb.
 
^5 to all who see pretty MTBs, I also ask myself tis qn, bt seems like I can nv get the ans. Ha ha ha.......

Gig - once I deliver, after resting for abt 1 - 2wks, I will activate my PC by chking & submitting on a daily basis. Then go for interviews (if I ever get one) then if I can get a new job w/in a short time, I will cme back, tender & serve notice. Tat is IF I m so lucky.
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Gig - my hairdress also said so long as doesn't touch scalp is fine. Bt again u think abt it, when u wanna col ur hair is bcos mayeb like my case new growth of white hairs or change of hair col, then if dun touch the scalp, hw does it actually touch the root to change the hair col entirely? Tats my concern & doubt.....
 
Smurfy

can ask ur MUA to come to ur hse for makeup? so u can rest more at ur place instead of going to the restaurant so early. when i finished serving tea at my place, i quickly go home and take a short nap, then my MUA did my make up at my hse. Reach restaurant ard 6.45 - 7pm.
 
Stella - it's really nt up to the outsiders to decide if u shld give the man a 2nd chance. Diff ppl diff thinking. If the change in him shows everything, I do not c the reason why. Bt I've told hb b4, shld he ever betray me, I m nt giving him a 2nd chance, so he better dun fool ard outside.

Tis shld scare him a little. Ha ha ha......
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Smurfy - wat u could do is - book a hotel rm urself, @ least hv some privacy of your own on ur wedding night. Book someware near your restaurant ir whereever u fancy. Check out the nx day or 2 days later then go back. U r gng to stay w/ PILs for the time being right?

Wrist corsages - I wanted to buy initially, bt they cost alot like $8 per pc? So end up I decided to DIY lor. I bought those ribbons frm 'Golden Dragon' @ Chinatown (so cheap) & the artificial flowers, then I trial & error myself. Surprisingly the outcome came out pretty gd!
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Infact it's very easy only. No choice I want nice yet save $$.

I engage videographer to do all the shooting. My guy fren helped me to do a simple montage, while my videographer did the day highlights for the guests.
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stella,
suggested that to MUA oredi, but she preferred to do it in the resturant. say that the hair and makeup will not be messed up lor?
 
Smurfy - nt as if Sin has typhoon. Then u will b in the car also. Restaurant - their room is very tiny one leh........

I would suggest IF your budget allows, do it @ a hotel. U cna play ard w/ space.
 
Saphira, u a Msian too? Ya, like cherrydale said, the 3 months ML is only for Singaporean bb. So if our bbs not Sporeans, then up to the co whether to give us the 3rd month ML. Shd try negotiate with the co.

I think cutting hair definitely no prob, but rebonding, dying and curling hair definitely will touch the scalp. My colleagues said most unbearable is during our confinement. First few weeks cannot bath and wash hair and the hair will have smell esp with long hair.
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Do ur mother and MIL allow you to take shower during confinement? My MIL support me to take shower once come back from hospital, but my mum said better not lei, at least for 1st 2 weeks...
 
cherryale, ok... one more place to go and check out skirts
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stella, I think no one can fully understand what both you and hb went through lor. Dun need to bother what pple say as long as you feel right doing what you're doing.
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It's good that both of you went through counselling as it's a chance to know each other even better.

smurfy, some bridal shops provide wrist corsages if not you can get from florist? But if too troublesome, I feel that you can do without it.

Ah ger, I think it's all subjective leh. For my 1st preg, most pple told me that I looked radiant but inside me I was feeling so tired. Then for this preg, with all the breakouts and such, I really feel tired and ugly.
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You gg to start job hunting during confinement? I thot of getting 3 mths ML at one go then start job hunting after my cf. I trust my hairstylist lah.... My fren coloured her hair thrice during the preg by the same hairstylist and her bb is fine.
 
ah ger,
we rented a place to stay in in punggol near by current place at sengkang. so going back to our flat after the dinner. i oso got a videographer, but he's not able to rush out the day's highlight due to the packed timing. we reject the part of showing day's event highlight coz he wanted to charge us another $300 to find an assistant to help him so that he can go off half way to do editing. the slideshow is more of the pics of courting days. wedding on 9th Oct, 1.5wks from now. hahahaa
 
Sap,
maybe your company will be nice enough to foot the bill. how long have u been with them? For my company, we are quite strict as very cost conscious.

Ah ger,
I also told my hb that he will not be given a second chance. But only time can tell. Sometimes man yields to temptation easily then regret.Actually that is one reason why I cannot quit my job too. When I am financially independent, then at least I will not be so helpless.
 
Jas, during confinement I will still wash hair. Bt maybe make it alternate days or every 3 days once. I cnanot stand nt washing @ all eso when I wash hair twice daily nw. *puke*

Gig - thru the experiences, I know job hunting is nv easy. My current job - took my 8mths to get it. So during confinement I will start to submit slowly. Then after 1st mth I will b more aggressive. Yes, I m taking straight 12wks.

As for hair, I trust my hairdresser bt my hb believes gynae more. Usually gynae will say No-No. My sis also coloured hers during 1st tri I think, cos it was close to CNY. then subsequently I dunno if she did bt her white hairs reduced greatly during her pregnancy.
 


jas,
i think i will wash hair (With those herbal medicine water oso lar). But i will try to limit hair washing and other taboos of confinement lor. really need to nurse back health.

i will take full 3mths and oso 5 days marriage leave kekeke :p (now cannot take coz length of service still less than 1 yr)
 
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