grace,
You expect bbsitter to be at home all day to look after your boy? Can you do that also? You are paying for the care the bbsitter provides, not to buy her freedom leh. At times, she also needs to do her grocery mah.
I feel that bringing the bb out for fresh air or interact with ppl is impt. Stay at home all day very boring leh. My gals step out of house min twice a day, exclude her play at corridor and water plants. Usually evening, if my mum/bro is free, they will bring them to downstairs to play with kids. It's good mah, interact and at the same time can exercise their body. I feel is good that she is willing to bring your kid to go walk walk. You should appreciate it.
Aiya if the kid wanna fall sick, you dun bring him out also will fall sick one lah. If you intend to enrol your boy to any class or childcare or further down the road, Pre-N, be prepared that your boy will fall sick for the 1st 6 mths, worse case is every week will fall sick, especially when he never been to one at all. It's good that once a while they fall sick, to build up their immune system. They are stronger each time after recovering.
Your bbsitter stays in condo ah? Then she's more like passing time to be a bbsitter.
Perhaps you can have a talk with your bbsitter. Is there any reason why she doesn't want you to bring yr kid to her house and why she chooses to wait at the lift area. If she is talking abt privacy, perhaps you need to let her know you need to see the place or the surrounding yourself so that you know your boy is comfortable. You need to be tactful how to tell her this. Or they may think pick up from lift area may save you some time.
If you are talking abt going into her house, which include her bedrooms. Let me share with you something. I never know that unless you are letting nanny to look after day + night, then we are allowed to go into their rooms to see see look look. I only got to know this last Sun when my aunt told me. If we are getting a nanny to look after bb for daytime only, usually the parents should not go into their rooms due to privacy. After thinking, I feel is right also. Even if we go to friends/relatives hses, we also stay in the living room, and dun intrude into bedrooms unless is very very closed.
Last time when my mum looked after a boy after he turned full mth (he stayed day and nite at my mum place), the parents never stepped into our bedrooms. They usually stayed in the living room. And in fact, they usually waited at the corridor, just picked and went off. Only when the boy was not ready (eg. need to bath/change) then the parents would come into the living room to wait. The parents are very "qing cai" ppl. They never asked how the boy was, what he did, what we fed/gave him etc. We dun say/tell anything, they never asked. And let me tell you hor, the boy's father went overseas to study for a year when the boy was barely 6 mths old. Ended, this boy stayed and lived with us for the next one year, didn't go home cos his mum had to look after the boy's elder sis aged 5. She couldn't handle. That 1 year, the boy stayed and lived with us like our own family. Even CNY also didn't go home. We brought him everywhere we went. When the boy turned 3, his father went overseas again, but this round, the whole family went over for 2-3 years. After they returned, the boy on and off still came to my mum place over weekend to stay. Weekdays, he was at childcare, then not long later they got a maid, so the maid looked after them. They grew up independent even though they had a maid. They did housework, cooked,baked etc. At age 12, they forgo the maid cos the boy said he dun need maid, he could do the housework for his mum. Now, after sch, he will prepare dinner and wait for his parents and sis to be house while his mum just needs to be home to whip up the vege. . The boy used to follow us to call our parents "pa pa" and "ma ma" when he's young. His own parents dun even get angry, though we kept correctly him. Let me ask you, which parents can stand their children calling other ppl "pa pa" and "ma ma"?? After his return from UK, his parents told him to seek my parents permission to be his god parents. The boy now aged 15, is my god brother. When I got married, when my gals' full mth showers/birthdays, he's the one involved with the preparation etc. He's just like our own siblings, my parents' son.
Let me share with you one of my neighour's son case. My mum looked after the elder sis, that time my mum was looking after 2 kids aged 2 and aged 1 (include this elder sis). This neighbour preggie and wanna my mum to look when the bb boy was born. My mum rejected cos she felt 2 with young age, she couldn't cope with a newborn. So, this neighbour ended with the help from her relative. This relative "locked" the boy at home all day. And worse, didn't spoon feed, just gave milk only. The boy was blur blur type, like dunno anything one lor, you gave him toy he also dunno how to play. At the age of 18mth, dunno toilet train, dunno how to eat, dunno how to walk. He's one of the "worse" case I ever came across. Suddenly one day, the relative decided not to look after him, and threw him back to my neighbour. My mum had no choice but to help to look after for a while while the neighbours went to search for a new nanny. Been to a few, not suitable cos the boy really "tu", nannies couldn't tahan him. Bo pian, and since my mum already looked after for 2 mths, they decided my mum could do the job. So, no choice, my mum looked after, and from then onwards, my mum toilet trained, taught him to eat, walk etc. It was really a surprise to us that the boy managed to do the "jobs" in another few mths time, of cos he didn't have a good time at my mum place, caused we trained him really hard. But then, just when we all tot the boy may be autism problem. He turned out not to be one. We were so glad! Somehow, I always feel, if the boy never came to us, he might really be one.
Another also damn idiot case. I can still feel angry with the way the parents did.
The parents are my 7th uncle and his wife. Damn idiot parents. They got my mum's help to look after their 1st kid. The wife is westernize pattern. They are stingy parents. Though agreeded that my mum only looked after the bb for day time only, they had the cheek to go par tok and threw the bb to my mum to look after. Imagine, there's 2 other kids at my mum place then. They never came to bring their bb back home on time, could come as late as 10pm at nite, sometimes din even bring home and not a call from them. Came to our place like their own house, without manners open the door to enter bedroom etc. So what they are my uncle and shen shen? Can you imagine a can of FM brought to and fro everyday from their home and our home? And even had the cheek to ask my mum why diaper and FM finished so fast? Imagine they asked my mum to save their cost not to use diapers in daytime. Ended, my mum used her own $$$ to buy diapers for the bb? Then asked my mum to sit by bb side to "yao" the yao lan even when bb was asleep???? My mum is not a robot leh. She has her housework to do and other kids to look after. Then never mind, 6 mths later, they got a maid. Guess what they did? They brought the bb + maid over to my mum place. Asked the maid to sit at the sarong side to continue to "yao" the sarong 24 hrs. I tell you hor, even they went home also like tat. Ended, the maid ran away. The maid was such a poor thing, that she dun have sleep nor good food to eat. The couple just went out enjoying their life, my grandma also became their maid to help them look after their bb. To the extend that each morning, the maid must prepare the toothbrush + toothpaste already squeezed on the toothbrushes for them. It really made my blood vomit. They thinked their $$$ was so big. Yes, they hired the maid, even a slave also dun do that much or rather they dun deserved to be. 1 week with the maid at my mum place, my dad got angry, and shoo their whole family out from our place.
What I'm trying to say is, not all nannies are bad (I'm not saying my mum is super). It just how nannies and parents interact. If either side is fussy, I can tell you, both sides won't have a happy relationship. The kids that my mum used to look after, still come to her place on and off on weekend and during sch holidays.
I still have my saying. If you can't stand how the nanny looks after your boy. Be a SAHM yourself. This is the only way that you can ensure your boy gets your so called 100% care. When you get someone to look after for you, there's no way ppl will follow your "rules". Even a maid also can't do it. When you are paying ppl for the job done, it is not buying over their freedom.
