(2004/09) Year End (Sep - Dec) 2004 Mothers-to-be

Deniz/little prince
My official lunch time is 1 to 2pm. But everyday, everyone in office disappear at 12pm and return at 2pm. My office is very near CF, about 7 mins walk.. So got 2 hrs to go gym with 2 of my colleagues. We will be there at about 12.15pm and then out of the gym by about 1.40pm, then take quick lunch and back to office by 2pm.

Window Grille Climbing
Hmm... Share with you a horror storey. Long time ago when my mum-in-law was looking after my SIL's elder son (around 2 yrs old then), my hubby's family had this habit of leaving all window grille wide open. *My hubby stays on 25th floor*. One day when I was at my MIL's place, my MIL was doing her laundry in the toilet and the nephew was playing alone at the balcony area, window grille wide open.*They always thought the window is too high for the nephew to reach*. When I step out of my hubby's room, I saw his nephew standing on a dining chair looking out of the window pointing at the plane that was zooming pass his blk. I nearly suffered a heart attack, half his body was above grille and he looks as if he may fell down 25 storeys anytime if he lost his balance! Just then my MIL step out of the toilet, she was screaming and shouting at the boy who got frighten and panic. I quickly ran over and carried him. Although I am not his mum, I was quite angry over their bad habit and I told my MIL to start locking all her window grilles to prevent accidents. I always checked to make sure all window grilles are locked when I bring my boy back to their house!
 


<font color="ff6000">Kelly</font>
take heart....you are doing a real good job!!

fyi, i'm now back home after a 1.5 months temp assignment which ended last friday. the company has decided to engage another staff as they feel i'm over qualified for the job and they can't pay me my expected...

so now both yingxin and i gotta adjust our daily schedule and i must admit i get agitated easily nowadays cos sometimes i really couldn't understand what she wants or what she is trying to relay (prob my ILs will??)

and i kept thinking to myself, should i just stop at ONE?? of course hubby will protest lah, but i think it's really a feat to look after 2 young tods without any help, i wonder how those in the olden days manage
 
Window Grilles
i remember an article sometime back regarding this old grandma who looked after the grand daughter while the parents worked during the day; she sneaked out to the wet market to do marketing while the 4 year old kid was sleeping and the windows/grilles were left opened; when the grandma came home, the girl was found lying on the ground floor motionless; apparently she woke up and couldn't find anyone at home and scale the windows to "look" for the grandma but lost her balance
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<font color="ff6000">deniz</font>
good that you still can "sneak" out for your workout....i wanna go too!! me getting so round people thot i'm preggy
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<font color="ff6000">berry</font>
aiyo, both you and deniz are equally slim...i wish i can be like you no need to exercise still can maintain

by the way, i let yingxin have hands on with the play dough today and she could have mistook it for ice-cream she almost wanted to eat it!! luckily i was just besides her and stopped her immediately but i guess my reaction gave her a shock she broke into tears
 
<font color="ff6000">Yuru</font>
pasar malam sell sesame bag?? how come i never notice? where is the pasar malam now? is it still open?
 
puff, playdoh is v safe for young children because its non toxic and made primarily from flour, water and salt. Its extremely salty and if any tod tried to taste it, they'll soon spit it out cause of the saltiness. Thats why I got playdoh for Faye since she was very young. Check this out: http://www.hasbro.com/playdoh/default.cfm?page=faq
EXCERCISE- maybe u can do it once a week on weekends? Not as ideal as 2-3x a week but better than nothing mah. I do excercise once weekly for only an hour plus on sundays when hb is ard (now hb overseas so gotta wait till he is back!), really hoping to do it more in future. But mine is more for the sake my my back which has been greatly weakened, thats about it, I dont think its helps much in other areas :p

deniz, now that Faye goes to school, I do have a little time off when Faye is in school. Before that I had none unless hb is ard on weekends. But I cant do gym workout cause I have v weak joints and gym workout tend to stress my elbow/knee further. Then other types of excercise are all class types, and so far cant find any that fits into Faye's school time or near enuf to her school.
 
<font color="ff6000">berry</font>
so it's safe to "consume" playdough in other words lah....but then i'm still worried about her putting it inside her mouth, even if i'm easy, hubby will surely be upset that i allow it

what about edu-dough (the one from globetrotters)?

<font color="ff6000">yuru</font>
thanks for the info...cindy looked like she is having fun....hahaha, the last pic of her feet placing on the seat against the notice is beri funnie
 
yuru, A puts toy utensils in her mouth, but can differentiate btwn food n playdoh lah... u try? A will make playfood with her playdough- pretend to eat only.
white grilles less prison-like lor. mum's place no grilles yet hence i lessen her time there. ILs n mine hav grilles. I lock my grilles!
 
puff,
YX's hair is so long now! She's so pretty!

If u're free Mon or Tue am let me know lah, we can go gym together
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berry,
how many times a week does Faye go to school &amp; how long? If got cali gym nearby, they've got lotsa of classes almost anytime of the day.
If u're exercising mainly to strengthen your back, u can use those exercise balls at home.

pcs,
woodlands too far for me leh. I joined the sengkang bp. Is this chinatownfood place any good?
 
Puff
YX look so demure. I like her hair curls only at the ends.

Deniz
I saw yr name in SK BP.
I tried it. OK lah.
Amossco one OSS so no choice
 
Berry, so far still on the "9 principles", think I just went through principle 8 in the toilet this morning :p But so far, even though I say it's like textbook style it's alot more engaging than the other book "What to expect" I have which is more like a reference book (dictionary/encyclopaedia style) and it's great because I can relate to the parents in the book, and even though some of the strategies really surprise me and I find hard to follow (eg the one on not praising your child) there are little gems which I hope to be able to incorporate into my everyday interaction with Ethan, if not now then when he's older... and also with the new baby when the time comes.

Thanks for the recommendation, by the way!
 
Oh, you asked what struck a chord, you know recently I've been worried about Ethan's lack of English words, there have been bits here and there in the book that helped to quell my worries (actually not so worried now because he has started to say some things, slowly but surely, and also I've decided there's no point worrying since there's nothing I can do about it and may as well channel my energy elsewhere..). I think things I already knew, like how children develop at different rates, that we should trust and be optimistic about our children's development, that children sometimes regress when they learn different skills (makes me think Ethan probably finds jumping, running, climbing so much more fun and engaging than saying "kitty" LOL).
 
Ruffybear, thanks for the books recommendation. Don't think I will get him anymore though.. instead when we see little babies at playgroups (sometimes he will go over and peer at them) I'll tell him that we're getting one of those soon.. and also when he sees picture of babies, eg on the newborn nappies I just bought.
 
littleprince, i think u're very "zai" to be working mom and also studying part time. I used to joke that I'll want to study part time some day.. but not do anything else the rest of the time (HA).
 
kelly, glad you had a better day. I also always find that after a bad day the next day seems much better.. maybe because we have that one day's experience to steer us clear of repeating mistakes? I knew someone who's first son is about Ethan's age and when she had a daughter few months ago, she said whenever she breastfeed the son would jump around doing dangerous things; she thought he was trying to get her attention, to stop her from nursing. But Ethan was also doing things like that, so I believe it was more a developmental thing.

household chores? i completely stopped doing household chores during my first trimester, and those things I HAD to do, I found shortcuts, like vacuuming the floor while sitting on the floor; and recently I moved the ironing board into my bedroom so I can iron while sitting on the bed (and the clothes are in the bedroom anyway). anyway I expect that household chores will once again take a backseat when 2nd child comes around (unless of course my husband rises to the occasion).
 
hey sharon,

how's your pregnancy so far. touchwood no pre-eclampsia for me so far. in fact my blood pressure is low! maybe looking after Ethan is in fact a lot more relaxing than the job I used to do. Ha! but i did get anaemic when they checked my blood at 30 weeks, so on iron pills.. thankfully none of the side effects I've heard about (except the unavoidable black poo). other than that i get very bad pain in back, bum, thighs, especially at night. doesn't help that i have to get up a few times to go wee...

yeah i'm more lax this pregnancy. before i was so good, refused to drink coke because of caffeine.. this pregnancy i have drunk a few cans without much thought. i don't think twice about carrying heavy things (14kg of Ethan being something I have to carry every now and then). my gp also said there's no need for multivits or calcium tablets, so no pill popping either (except for iron now). I need to get newborn clothing as Ethan's NB clothes all in Singapore.. but even then just buying a few and all white since I dunno boy or girl :p I actually know what are the things I need to buy and need to pack just never get round to doing it...
 
Sharwyn so sweet to you.. maybe it's a girl thing. But I also dun really know if Ethan is all that aware about the baby coming. When I show him my tummy on the occasions he doesn't feel like poking or smacking, he will pull my clothes back down.

I didn't use any lotion this pregnancy. Covered with stretchmarks from the previous one, no help already la.
 
kypf, I first came across the concept of the negative effects of praise when Faye was around like 8 or 9 months, and this was one of the toughest speech patterns I had to change haha! Cause you can imagine, normally when people wanna encourage a child or a particular behaviour, praises naturally comes out. So for quite a while I was rather stuck and found myself fumbling alot and I actually went like "er..er..ok, great!" (to which I realised, hey, THATS praise too! so wat am I supposed to say?!)
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But I felt that it was an important enuf deal to me, so I stuck it out and after a while I gradually got the hang of it. These days its quite second nature to me liao, so much that if someone else (like my parents, PILs, strangers) starts praising her fervently (stuff like good girl, very clever, etc) I'll feel really uncomfortable tho of cos I dont say anythng hehe.

puff, Haha Faye's fave shirt is a tee with the picture of a toucan that she picked out herself, and she wears that so much that I'm sure her teacher in school wonders why she doesnt have other stuff to wear :p
DOUGH- eh I have no idea abt the edu-dough thingy, but since its not a reputable brand, better not risk it if you are unsure? For playdough, I feel that any eating will be self-correcting (pretty much like eating sand!) cause they make it extremely salty and yucky to taste. Most tods who attempt to taste it will soon realise themselves that its not something they wanna eat even without much reminders.

deniz, Faye goes to school twice a week for 2 hrs each. There isnt a good gym that I find near enuf. Nvm lar, right now I'm contented with once weekly excercise, will aim to do more next year heh.
 
Berry, ha, i think i'm going through the same thing as you did! Very hard to hold back when I've heard from everywhere else that praise is good, form of encouragement, makes kids realise that they get attention even when they're being good so they don't misbehave etc etc. Plus the fact that I've been "praising" for the past 22 month :p

But while I understand the rationale behind it, I don't think I'll follow it 100%. Some praise is still OK, I think; just not the extent I used to do it.
 
<font color="ff6000">deniz</font>
thanks!! i was browsing thru her pics taken in year 05 and was thinking to myself, hey, she looked ok with short crop too, so maybe i *might* cut her hair one fine day

will sms you or email you if i'm going down to CFC; but i dun think i wanna go for the classes leh, i may not have the energy to last 1 whole hour lah

<font color="ff6000">pcs</font>
thanks too! hmm, her curls gets messy most of the times - even if i wet her hair

<font color="ff6000">kypf</font>
thanks dear...i have "heavy" lock and my hubby has natural curls so i guess Yingxin gets both

<font color="ff6000">berry</font>
haha, my hubby was asking me why i always dressed Yingxin up in the same outfit, i told him his DEAR chosed it herself, not me!
 
pcs
hmm, if you have grilles, should lock them lor coz you never know when keira learns to climb up.

yuru
my place also full height windows with no grilles. hmmm, we did consider installing grilles but reluctant coz it doesn't look nice and no time to do it. so far, we don't open the windows at all when we are at home, only the kitchen windows have grilles. i know its dangerous, will try to work something out soon.

puff
yx really looks like a big big gal! very nice pixs!
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pasar malam - there is one opp Tampines Mall and Century Square this week, i passed by earlier.

kypf
there are certain reasons that left me with no choice but to study now, and so far, no regrets except its really tiring on some days. nowadays, i stay back during lunch to do my assignments so that i don't hv to work till so late at home. i am sure any of the mummies here will somehow juggle being a mum and studying if they have to .. like pcs .. hehe!

childcare - nanny's hb was previously running a provision shop but sold it off as he felt he was getting old. then, he worked as an assistant for the new shop owner for 3 mths and the biz was no good. now, the new owner is deciding to rent out the shop to let someone run since he is no good at it. nanny mentioned to me earlier that her hb is thinking of renting it to run again but will need nanny to help out if he really takes over.

then, she suggested that rhyan can go FT childcare if she does that, or go to a CC near the shop for half a day and spend the other half at the shop with her. i quickly opted for the FT CC coz i cannot imagine what rhyan can do at a provision shop for half a day. she prompted FT CC cheaper for us actually etc. hmm, i don't know if i am happier that she is the one who is suggesting rhyan go CC then i bring it up of my intention to send him there and cut her pay. :p

if i send rhyan to FT CC, she can still help me pick him up on days when i hv classes. haiz, got extra things to think about now coz hb is taking a course early next year too so both of us will be hvg night classes with rhyan in CC if nanny really works at the shop. real headache!
 
At last, some pics of Kieran &amp; Kayden to share...

521075.jpg

^ Introducing Kayden when he was less than 1 mth old

521076.jpg

^Kayden (5 wks old) bullying his gorgor

521077.jpg

^Kieran with his bday cake
 
Hi everyone,
Very new to this format of interacting.. but looks like fun!
haven't really have mother frens cos most of frens are still single or don't hav children.
Anyway, nice to meet you mummies and toddlers!
I am SAHM to my soon to be 2 Ariel. She's born on 23rd Sept. So I guess we qualify for this category? ^_^
 
skyblue...so cute wan!!!!

berry...u are so rite wif the playdoh, for a tod like justin who loves to eat, he spit out the min he puts in his mouth :p
 
puff/cindy- Actually I'm trying to think how to anwer this w/o writing a whole page of boring essay :p

Praise is essentially evaluation and judgement of the person you are praising. Like when you say 'good girl!' you are telling the child that she is a good person because she chooses to obey you. I read that children come to this point whereby they might start thinking that they are BAD (as opposed to good) should they decide to disobey you when its not them that is bad, its only the ACTION that is undesirable. Like a child who shoved and snatched from her friend, its not her as a person that is bad, its only her action that its wrong (so like when she is being told she is a naughty GIRL, its judgement about HER as a person). Also, praise is often used as a manipulation tool- like a caregiver going "come on, share your toy! you are a good girl right? if you are a good girl then you share ok?" In moments like these, the child needs to make a decision to either obey her caregiver against her will or be a bad girl. And when the child (esp when its a task they really cannot bring themselves to accomplish) chooses to stay true to her needs, she would be made to feel that she is not good (self esteem issues). So imagine esp if its a developmental thing, like telling a 2 year old that he is a good boy if he sharess precious new toy, thats pretty unfair?

One more impt reason is that children who are used to being praised and rewarded for everything they do often become praise/reward junkies- they end up doing things for the sake of praise and rewards instead of for the real reason they should (like not shoving others should be so that other dont get hurt, not because they want to hear good boy and get a lolly).

And praise/rewards are often so appealing to a child (esp to a child who is accustomed to getting to alot) that they might override the pleasure of satisfaction they get for doing something. This could mean that the child will only do the right thing when he knows someone is around to praise or reward him. So when no adult is around to praise him, the usual motivation to do the right thing is no longer there.

Er.. ok I realised that some ppl might think that its quite extreme. Personally I dont do away with all praises of any sort like its evil or wat :p Sometimes when Faye brings me a piece of artwork from school or something, I do tell her how beautiful and gorgeous it is. I also use pharses like "good job!" once in a while. I just steer away from phrases that judges HER as a person (like nice/good girl sorta thing). give what I shared above, I still feel that if praise is not used excessively and as a manipulation tool, SOME praise cant harm that much.
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ENROURAGEMENT- actually I do feel that encouragement is a very different thing from praising, our kids at any age will def need our couragement and support. So given the above reasons, I just do w/o praise when I encourage.
 
skyblue, hey kayden is really handsome! I think he looks like you more hehe.

kypf, attention can be given also w.o using praise, like when Faye is playing onher own while I am busy, I'll make it a point to check on her asap and say something along the lines of "wow I see that you are (playing with blocks/trains/colouring/etc)! Have you been waiting for mummy? Thank you for waiting for me when I was busy, I really appreciate it alot!" and so on. hehe
happy.gif
 
skyblue,
Handsome Kayden!
Haha, Kayden looks annoyed with Kieran in the 2nd pic.

berry,
Eh, u're very good at explaining! But hor, I think it's not so easy for me to practise but I guess it'll get easier with time.
 
deniz/yuru, yar lor, its really not easy to put into practise (initially u will feel tounge tied and prob quite frustrated!), but its worth the while! I'm starting to see a little results oredi and I'm really glad hehe
happy.gif
 
little prince, berry,
Kayden looks more like me ah? I oso dunno how to see. But many pple told me he looks more like hubby. Mebbe cos of his size bah.

berry,
I'm always praising kieran as a person, not his action :p Guilty of saying 'good boy', 'clever boy', 'notti boy' etc. Hehehe...

pcs,
I have a wakeful boy leh. These days he wants us to talk to him. Then he'll make those bb noises.

AC,
Wah, u know i'm gg to post pics then u pop out ah? Hahaha.

yuru,
No nid to envy lah, go and make bb tonite!!!

jen,
Yep, same eyes
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Or rather, same eyebrow.

deniz,
Thks
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Kayden is usually annoyed with Kieran cos Kieran makes so much noise &amp; disturbs his sleep.
 
yuru
you just reminded me, i should let Rhyan try packet milk before we go Genting next week. then it will be more convenient.
happy.gif


skyblue
kayden's size definitely not like you lah! :p
 
PRAISE - just my 2 cents worth on this topic.

I praise both the child and the behaviour. Luke will always be a "good boy" in my eyes and I tell him that so that he knows how I value him and so that he will value himself even if he does something wrong. So I never call him a bad boy. Overpraising can definitely have negative effects but where to draw the line is very subjective. I know that it is too unnatural for me at least to avoid evaluating and I enjoy the pleasure Luke gets from praise. I feel that he will learn how to make good decisions for himself from my evaluations and even become more self-motivated as he learns what is good or bad since for now, I am his "moral compass". Maybe the difference between praise and encouragement is a matter of semantics and both can achieve the same thing. I'll make sure he has lotsa opportunities to make his own decisions and give him "space". Anyway, in life, we all need internal and external motivation. Interestingly, Luke has learnt to praise others too...er, like my dog :p
 
Skyblue!!!!!!
Kayden sooo HANDSOME, wait for his pics until my neck very long and graceful liao (like real the part abt my neck lah). I've been browsing our archives when I'm bohliao- last time more mummies more on abt posting their darlings' pics hor and refreshed memory of Kieran baby :p . Kayden does have some resemblance but still has his own look ;). For one thing, his hamster cheeks quite prominent hor?

Berry, read ur essay (gd for pple like me who cant be bothered to read entire book, hehe). Agree with the underlying concepts but difficult *for me* to apply lah. If I dun praise her, I dunno what to say to her liao. Used to it liao. Even if I attempt to rephrase eg. "Can u bring the tissue to me pls?" and when she does I go, "Thank you dearie! Mummy had no extra hands!"... end of the day also doesn't really correct the underlying premise even tho it's not expressed in "you are gd" but rephrased in "your action is helpful to me" manner? Cos she WILL know *I'm* happy she helped. Confusing heh? Anyway, she also definitely praise JUNKIE :p .

lilprince, lucky u din TTC #2 or else c/c arrangements may need to change with the changes in ur nanny's HB's job.
 
Skyblue,
u know, I find I stick pacifier to Irvin at easiest moment. Eg when A is asleep and Irvin eh-eh-eh, I'd quickly stick pac in to avoid him waking A. He like got no chance to cry. At night bedtime also sleep by sucking on pacifier while I bottlefeed A.
I think I got to split sleeping arrangements? Shld at least let him have more opportunity to vocalise...?
 
fruitcake, yeah I agree with that everyone needs internal AND external evaluation. Like just because I feel I am doing a great job at something doesnt mean I dont need or appreciate someone else's praise, esp if that person is someone who matters alot to me- like if hb says 'wah dinner is so yummy! you are a good cook!' I'll feel beri happy wahaha.
biggrin.gif
 
MT, hehe I *think* I kinda know wat u mean. Actually when it comes to the example you listed, I do tell Faye "Thanks sweetie! thats helpful! I'm glad you got the paper/watever for me". Yeah I do know that IS evaluation to some extend, but then I dont feel that all evaluation is bad or undesirable lor.
 
puff, next time yx can be sifone girl :D maybe soon she can be the face of Johnsons baby shampoo :D

skyblue, I really love Kieran's smiles in the pictures! he looks like a big boy really know how to pose and knows that his picture is being taken. i think i take too many pics of Ethan that's why he bo chup me when i'm taking his pics..

Medusa, heh, Irvin looks like he's enjoying the water! he's really bah bah hor!
 


skyblue.
I missed but i'm not looking forward. hehehe

Medusa
Aiyoh Irvin so baba. feel like hugging him.
 
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