Child Adoption

Wendy: Take heart and stay positive. I was also late (about 30 mins) for my OI due to morning peak hr jam. I don't think they would give you demerit points because of your educational & teenage background. I suppose they would look at overall change in you (the present you).

For the home visit, yes the counsellor really walked and viewed every room every corner. Yes! safety plugs are a must must.

After the visit, we got our HSR within 2 weeks. A draft version was emailed to me for review to ensure that details were accurate. I made some amendments and then they turned around the final version the next day.
 


Wendy, don't worry too much, I believe they appreciate people who are open to them... I'm sure they know that was just your past and you're a changed woman now who has a BIG LOVING HEART to adopt and that will override any negative factors ok. Your dream of being a mum will sure happen ok, just a matter of a few months difference only lah, be patient ok.
 
Thanks for all your support!!! seriously during the solo interview it really hit me so hard that i was so stress when i walk out of the door... my hubby is actually quite unhappy when we reach there cause the lady 1st word is " you guys are 45 mins late" he was about to cancel the interview on the point. until i so called hold him down.... haizzzz
 
Hi Die - just read your story. Very touching, it brought tears to my eyes. Likewise, I can't imagine our life without our little girl. She's turning one next week and she's brought us and our family a tremendous amount of much joy.
 
Hi Die, Sophie's bday on 26 Oct.

Hi all, anyone read the news about little Charmaine who died of cancer? I can't imagine the pain her parents must be going through. It's so sad.
 
@wendy, dont worry too much, all of us who went through the HSR has gone through it with quite a emotional journey. It does seems like sitting through an examination but it is not really one "wrong" answer as you perceived would fail you.

Do remember what the HSR councellor look for is the heart of yours who seek to be a parent to a child. To protect your child they have to ensure the necessary check on both of you and your background but it is not meant to penalised you, I believe if there is any area which they see need your attention to they will highlight to you
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Infact hiding your past is probably the last thing you want to do, we all have our past, if you are worried I suggest you talk to the HSR officer your concern or questions. We did that, Hubby and I after answering certain challenging questions will ask the officer what is the objectives of the questions and is there something she see we need to pay attention to. I am sure through that she can sense both your sincerity and desire to become the best parents you want to be to your child
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Her first statement of commenting that both of you are late may just be the concern on how serious you are taking this process but I believe if you let her know despite your hubby reservist and the need to rush through the jam, both of you indeed make this the first priority in your life that will assure her your intentions on this whole adoption process.

Will be keeping you and hubby in our prayers
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Hi all, I just had my ol yesterday, the interview seemed ok , but I guess the assessor wanted to see if we were honest with ourselves and readiness t be parents.

Wendy:Let's look forward for the home visit, I am sure the assessor will be there to help us to identify the needs . Like e rest who had replied earlier, the HSR is to part of our preparation as parents. cheer up!
 
Hi all.. i m new to the thread but have read most of this yr's posting. i am thinkin of adopting after 2 failed iui n 2 ivfs. i m still considering goin for a third ivf after cny.. but wud still like to adopt regardless of outcome. i do have a qn thou.. i think i read somewhere that the hsr is valid for 2 yrs but cud not find the posting again after that. so is it possible for me to just get on with the hsr and decide when i wanna do the actual adoption?
 
Flasy: Hopefully ba....

Juliana: HSR is only vaild for 2 years for 1 adoption... if expiry then have to re-take the HSR
 
Hi Wendy and Flasy,

May I ask which agency you are doing your HSR with? Also, do we need to bring any documents with us for the oi?
We are due for oi soon and I'm feeling nervous about it.
 
Hi Project A,
We did it with Touch. During ol, there are three parts, first with the couple for about 1.5hr and then individual session for abt 45 min each. The sessions were like chatting, and letting the assessors know more about you and your parenting style. I felt the assessor also wanted t know about the family influence and also how to handle baby and the opinions of friends and family regarding the adoption.
To prepare, I will suggest the couple to read the documents that you have submitted earlier. They don't need the documents for verification. They will do it dying the home visit.

Hope this helps.
 
Hi Flasy,

Thank you for sharing the infor. I hope my OI will be just as smooth as yours went. Have they informed you about the home visit?

Have you started looking into child placement agencies?

Regards,
A.
 
Hi BabyJul28,
I though that requirement only apply if you are adopting from CHINA ? Because Adoption from CHINA has more stringent requirement than other countries, if you look at the HSR forms template you will noticed there are 2 sets - 1 for CHINA Adoption and 1 for NON-CHINA adoption. Pls do check out the basic information from this site of MCYS to get an overview. Did you call one of the HSR agency to check ? Do remember to call HSR agency to check and not any adoption agency. Cause HSR accredited Agency like TOUCH, FeiYue, SBL etc... are the ones doing your HSR and should know best
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http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/RelatedOrganisations/MCYS/
 
@ProjectA, if I am not wrong for Local Adoption placement the few best place you can go are TOUCH Adoption Services, Feiyue Adoption Service, Project CHERUB, also try KK.
 
mrs chou.. thanks for the info.. i called Touch as well as SBL.. both said i can submit application and they will deliberate over it. so i guess i will try anyway since they can't give a straight yes or no. just started compiling the items they want. can't wait!
 
Ms Ria

You can approach any of the baby placement agencies, so that it will be helpful for you & also the adoption process will go on smooth & finish the process legal without any problems for both the parties
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Hi Ladies,

I just want to say that this forum is very inspirational to me.

I have been reading all your posts and drawn strength from all.

I am 29 and turning 30 in Jan. I have PCOS and i have been thru 2 courses of Clomid with no success.

My hubby has suggested adoption as he felt he didn't want to subject our marriage to the strains of the failed attempts of assisted methods.

My question is whether i should still try to conceive on my own or should i just go straight for adoption?

I am very torn between both.

Is it true that the amount you spend on adoption is almost the same as what you would need to spend on the IVF, IUI etc ?

Sorry for my multitude of questions
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We emailed ria on behalf of our friend regarding adoption, and managed to get a call fr a lady, right after that got an sms regarding adoption agency info., etc. We're so upset and believe ria and gang are all CON job! Nothing wrong with agencies but this is not the place to advertise!!!
 
@sunshineday

thanks for uncovering such people. I was even talking about Ria to couple of my friends. Good that I dint approach them on my friends' behalf.
 
I emailed Ria too. Besides the email address, she doesn't have a contact number - pretty strange for someone in this predicament and in need of help.

Ria, if you really need help, please take our advise and approach the right channels. Otherwise, please don't abuse this thread. I wish you all the best if it is all genuine. Do what is best for your child.
 
Hi Ladies,

I haven't had any replies to my queries and was wondering if i had said somthing wrong.

My hubby and I have decided to go ahead with adoption.

We are intending to attend the pre-adoption workshops to better equip ourselves. However, i was hoping to get any other advise from all of you.

Please let me know
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Morning Lena,
Welcome to this thread ! Such is the nature of this thread; when it rains with answers it pours but there are days of drought too. Busy with our young kids & some others, work.

Great tt u hv started attending pre-adoption workshops. It is there tt u do get a gd glimpse into life as adoptive parents.

If u scroll up or previous pages, u'll see tt there hv recently bn a couple other friends in the same boat as u n almost all of us in here with our kids were at this same spot too so thank you for sharing your journey with us here.

Start with your home study report just to widen your search n keep us posted.

Hugs, andrea
 
Hi Lena,

You don't accept PM. I have PCOS too. Things like clomid, metformin, ovarian laproscopy didn't help me. Was considering IVF and child adoption too, but felt the former is too stressful and hubby objected to the latter. After 10 years of marriage, suddenly conceived naturally (without help of any gynae, TCM) 6 months after I changed my eating habits (low/no carbohydrates), started on a regular exercise regime (jogging 2-3km 3 times a week) and lost almost 20kg. PM me if you need to talk to someone about PCOS.
 
Hi Andrea,

Thank you for replying.

I managed to get us seats for the upcoming Pre-Adoption workshop next Thurs. I called TOUCH without realising that today was the closing date for registration.

I am going to start my HSR asap as a close friend informed me that there will be a batch of korean babies up for adoption early next year.

Please let me explain why my preference for a korean child. My mum-in-law is korean and though she isn't putting pressure on me for not being able to conceive naturally.....she has previously mentioned how she would prefer a child of korean descent.

Hi Meowie,

I don't know why i can't accept PM. Is there any setting i can change ? But thank you for sharing your PCOS experience with me
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Hubby doesn't want to go thru the stress of IVF / IUI. He is very eager to be a Daddy.

We don't rule out the possibility of conceiving on our own in the future but for now, we opt for adoption.

Hugs n Kisses,
Lena
 
so many agency email me and I all of them promised to help.

they tell me i cannot do on my own , too many paper work.

if any of you here promise me that you can help me without an agency i am willing to meet you with my baby. my number is 83486313.

don call me names again if the hp is off as i go in and out of malaysia and the hi card does not work there.

My son is still available for adoption and i will welcome anyone ANYONE who helps me.

THink of it from a desperate mother .

I need a good home for my son....Thank you .
 
Hi All,

I just can't help to share this joy. I just received the HSR draft report , which mean my hubby and I cleared the study and we are almost there to be mummy and daddy.

For all who are going through the study, please preserve, we will pray for you.


Lena
I heard that Touch has a lot of backlog for HSR,if you want to get the study done fast, you may want to check out another agent called Lutheran. One of my friend did her ol two weeks after her submission of document. I waited for two months for the ol at Touch. Good luck.
 
@ria, I am not sure if you are a malaysian thus you are not sure about the way adoption work here. If your child is not a Singaporean than I think an agency will indeed be your best option cause they are truely right there is ALOT of documentation else the Judge wont even approved the adoption. You must remember in Singapore adoption is a very stringent process, I cant just go to you and say I want to adopt your son and that is. Even if I get a lawyer, they can only help process the adoption thru court but all the documents including the receipts of medical checkup etc need to be presented.

I think it is totally understandable about your desperate for help thus we recommended Touch Adoption services or Fei Yue adoption services for your to go to. They ARE NOT any commercial adoption agency, they are Singapore Government accreditted agency to facilitate the Home Study report. The other place you can go is MCYS which is a government department.

The thing is that if you and someone here who do not know the process well start carrying out adoption process by your own, you might end up harming your boy more than anything due to the lack of knowledge in this area.

What the agency tell you is not wrong, they is indeed much documentation needed. so do consider it.
 
@Flashy,

Congrats to one big step nearer to your dream.

You mean Lutheran Community Care Services has a shorter queue ? great thanks for informing us
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Hi Flashy,

Thank you for the heads up !

Was gonna submit my application next week.

I shall switch to Lutheran now.

Should i still attend the Pre-adoption workshop at TOUCH or does Lutheran CCC offer these workshops too ? Does it matter where i attend the workshop ?

Hugs,

Lena
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Gers, I just received an email from touch. After our office interview and submit fr IMH. They said that my hubby got a record in IMH. So stress now. Seriously I think it's gonna affect the whole process. That was in my hubby army days when he was sent to alexendra hospital and no ward then army transfer him to IMH. So from there the record is always there. Super depress now....
 
Hi Ladies,

I won't be proceeding with my HSR this year
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Firstly, because this is my hubby's 2nd marriage, i read that we would need to be married for at least 5 years before we can apply.

Secondly, my hubby's business just hit rock bottom so financially it won't be wise for us to bring a child into our lives if we can't provide for him.

So sad....but i will definitely work towards submitting HSR by mid nexy year.....wish me luck.

By the way, do they really contact the ex-spouses for a referral ?? What if both parties have lost contact ??
 
Dear Ladies,

Just got a call from the Lutheran CCC.

They are newly appointed agency by MCYS to do the HSR thus there is no backlog.

All those who want a faster process ( 2 months for whole process ) should go thru Lutheran CCC. The charges are the same as Touch. But you need to attend a disclosure session with them. They do not have Pre-Adoption workshops though.

Hope this helps
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Hugz,
Lena
 
@Wendy, I can assure your husband record in IMH just need a letter from IMH to clarify the situation it will not affect the application may just cos some delays waiting for the report that is all
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Relax
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Dear Flasy!

Congratulations! How long did they take to complete the HSR?

I am also done with my OI and HV. They visited both my place and my parents place where the baby will be housed in the day.I am now awaiting news from them.

Regards,
A
 
Hi Project A
I got my draft HSR two days after the home visit, then I am collecting the report from the agency tomorrow. So from home visi till collection is exactly a week.
 
Flasy,

That is really fast. I am still waiting for my HSR. They told me should be about 5 weeks. So I will just wait patiently.

Do you allow PM?


A
 
Hi Ladies,

Do they penalize you if you have pets ??

I adopted 2 dogs and a cat and i live in a HDB.

My neighbours adore them and they are not a nuisance....

Just need to know if anyone got their HSR despite having more than 1 pet.

Regards,
Lena
 


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