My situation same as you. Only we didn't mention divorce. But we are just like room mates staying under 1 roof. Didn't mention when we gonna divorce, I just continue to be my housewife, do the things I suppose to do. Look after kids and so on.Anyone in my situation? We agree not to divorce for children's sake. We will do it I after they grown up. They are still in primary school.sWe do not sleep together anymore and seldom talk. It is sad.
Icekacang and JL,
Its tough ya to pretend a couple and a completed family in front of kids. No one to truly talk to and share happiness or sadness. Lets hope our children will understand why we part when they grow older and do not get affected by it.
JL8118
Your hub bring the woman home! Thats yucky. Children not at home that time i hope.
I am not thinking what price he pays but i am just thinking how not to waste my time on him and move on with a better companion. We are over and should pursue own happiness but it is tough. To the children, he may be good as he bring them out to play but i do not think he is a good guardian. He doesn't follow their school matters, doesn't know what my children do with their friends, doesnt really talk to thdm about morale and values...
wonder how both of you can pretend to be loving infront of the kids....tough
JL8118
I am hoping to find a companion too! One who are same thoughts, faithful and walk through life
I did not lose hope but feel tough to find. I am envious of those who found. Now going home has no one to talk to.
Dont lose hope!!
Yup. Me too. Do envy when seeing those couple out there. But well... Life have to still go on.. Taking a step at a time...
In the meantime, just open to 'option'.
Just find more friends to talk to. I do have friends to talk to as well. If you feel bored and want someone to talk with, can pm me also.
LadiesI'm in similar situation as well. Not thinking of asking what price he will pay. Just hope he will treat the kids good. I'm not going to waste my time on him as well. Probably just find a better companion outside also.
For me, not really say 'loving' infront of kids. Just behave that we are still husband and wife.
Ladies
I’m in the same situation as you ladies but of the opp gender. Wife cheated 6 years ago and beg for forgiveness. Being soft hearted I took her back and now after having 2 lovely young kids, she wants out saying she fell out of love with me and wants freedom. We are very loving until 1st of CNY she broke the news to me. After 14 years of marriage, she just threw everything away in a second. She travels a lot for work and I had to put my career on hold to look after the family especially the 2 little ones. My routine is to rush home everyday to play and company the kids and help the elder boy with his school work. Thought be a responsible father and hubby by helping her out with all the family matters so that she can concentrate on her work. Now everything is gone. Now still staying under one roof but we only talk about the kids matters only. Weekdays she will have her own activities and usually comes home late. Am I stupid or what? It’s hurts like crazy but can’t show it in front of the kids. Kids have been asking where mummy only to lie and hold back my emo and tell them she has to work. My whole world only revolves around the 2 kids and her. While she is wnjoiing her new life, I’m stuck caring for the family and kids. What should I do? I feel tha I’m slipping into depression as I can’t handle the hurt that she had caused. My family doesn’t know anything and suffering in silence. Thinking of see a counselor next week to help me sort my tots straight.
Bcos of my elder boy going P1 next year n I ask her to stay till he settles down with his transition to P1. It will be too sad for him when his mummy not around and have to go thru the stress of P1.If she wants freedom, why she still staying there? Because of the kids?
I wonder where she got the courage from to do this...
I think you have done everything and it become take for granted, just like my husb did everything as what you did including all the housework.. sometimes I will like, take for granted and do my own work instead of helping him...
Is good to look for counselor, it will be good if your wife can go too....
Bcos of my elder boy going P1 next year n I ask her to stay till he settles down with his transition to P1. It will be too sad for him when his mummy not around and have to go thru the stress of P1.
Wife is a very determined person, want something means will just do it. Don’t care who is hurt or in the way. She made it very clear that she won’t go for marriage counseling n the marriage is over. Am taking baby steps by the day n enjoy the numbered days with daughter as she wants to bring my daughter to stay with her when she moves out.
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.Sigh.... poor kids.... please be good to your boy if his mummy really leave him but rmb cannot spoil him...
I hope your wife won’t get a new partner while bringing your gal with her..
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.
My boy is like my best friend. I already spoilt him but I’ve my limits. He must work for his toys but he is a very easily contented boy. My girl is a daddy’s girl. I will miss her a lot. She is only coming 3 and everyday when I come home, she will hug and kiss you then ask you to sit with her and she will chat w you. Half the time I don’t know what she is talking. I’m very sadden by my wife’s decision and wrecking the whole family happiness. The kids are innocent. They deserve to have a good family to grow up with.
No worries. Not offended cos you are hearing one sided story. I definitely did not do anything wrong to any of them. 3 of them are my precious. What they want, they will get. Because I love her so much, I’ve decided to let her go find happiness else where. She said she wants to find someone she loves and I’m blessing her. I’ve closed that chapter and move forward. Naturally you will be super hurt but what can I do? No point forcing, in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap. No point in one sided love. Perhaps one day she will realize how much I’ve love n sacrificed for the family. Well it’s just my luck. Another reason for leaving is that we are of very different characters. She used to say the opposite attracts and now the very reason for her leaving. Well life goes on. My biggest worry is my kids well being and hope they grow up to be fine young adults. Thank you for the encouragement and seeing the positive side of things. In life, you win some you lose some just that this lost is big lost.I was thinking... since she has decided and whatever you say, cannot change her mind... just bless her and let her go... cox I think if her heart already not there, the more you force or talk to her, the more she feel 反感。。so y not just bless her. But do let her know you want her and the family for sure, is just that since she has decided, you respect her decision... and you will still wait for her return..
She might think back one day, when no one do all the things for her and start to realize, you and the family are the best?
Or she might then notice you are the only one who truly love her.. for now, she might be unable to think more, mayb just leave for temporary?
Jiayou and be strong!
Btw, if her leaving was due to you have done sth not good to her or to the family, I don know, I’m just saying if (sorry if I have offended you).. then... hmm.. cannot blame her ba.
My situation same as you. Only we didn't mention divorce. But we are just like room mates staying under 1 roof. Didn't mention when we gonna divorce, I just continue to be my housewife, do the things I suppose to do. Look after kids and so on.
He just do his own things lor. As long he don't go over board like take my kids away, I just bear with it.
Sian lar..i wait till everyone goes inside their room and I go out living room fold clothes and watch tv. He like as if got period. Get angry over little things. I don’t even have the right to talk to my gal.
One day the four of us are having lunch at mac then my gal was sitting opp me. I was chatting with my gal about everyday stuff and had some disagreements which I think it’s pretty normal. And I think it has nothing to do with anyone else other than my gal and me. Then He unhappily mumble want to talk, go home then talk. I paused for awhile thinking who is he talking to. Then I mumble to myself, want to talk - anytime also can talk. Then he rushed my gal to finish her food and walk out hurriedly, like as if he got something so important to do. Then he walk very fast with my gal and don’t wait for me and my boy. Storm off to the carpark and get into the car. He drive like crazy..speeding and cutting lanes like nobody business. Then when we home, he send me a few WhatsApp messages - saying I don’t have to bother about him anymore, he don’t have to bother about me anymore. I can do whatever I want. He will not support me financially anymore. we are off from now on.
He always threaten me. What I can say is - he is a sore loser. He can only win, cannot lose. What I owe him? I owe him nothing. I did do my job as a housewife. What else he want me to do? He don’t say and expect me to know what he wants. He assume I know what I do that agitate him, what he needs and so on. From then on, me and my boy has been walking to school every morning and he fetch my gal to school with his car. Both my kids study in the same school.
Sian lar..i wait till everyone goes inside their room and I go out living room fold clothes and watch tv. He like as if got period. Get angry over little things. I don’t even have the right to talk to my gal.
One day the four of us are having lunch at mac then my gal was sitting opp me. I was chatting with my gal about everyday stuff and had some disagreements which I think it’s pretty normal. And I think it has nothing to do with anyone else other than my gal and me. Then He unhappily mumble want to talk, go home then talk. I paused for awhile thinking who is he talking to. Then I mumble to myself, want to talk - anytime also can talk. Then he rushed my gal to finish her food and walk out hurriedly, like as if he got something so important to do. Then he walk very fast with my gal and don’t wait for me and my boy. Storm off to the carpark and get into the car. He drive like crazy..speeding and cutting lanes like nobody business. Then when we home, he send me a few WhatsApp messages - saying I don’t have to bother about him anymore, he don’t have to bother about me anymore. I can do whatever I want. He will not support me financially anymore. we are off from now on.
He always threaten me. What I can say is - he is a sore loser. He can only win, cannot lose. What I owe him? I owe him nothing. I did do my job as a housewife. What else he want me to do? He don’t say and expect me to know what he wants. He assume I know what I do that agitate him, what he needs and so on. From then on, me and my boy has been walking to school every morning and he fetch my gal to school with his car. Both my kids study in the same school.
No worries. Not offended cos you are hearing one sided story. I definitely did not do anything wrong to any of them. 3 of them are my precious. What they want, they will get. Because I love her so much, I’ve decided to let her go find happiness else where. She said she wants to find someone she loves and I’m blessing her. I’ve closed that chapter and move forward. Naturally you will be super hurt but what can I do? No point forcing, in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap. No point in one sided love. Perhaps one day she will realize how much I’ve love n sacrificed for the family. Well it’s just my luck. Another reason for leaving is that we are of very different characters. She used to say the opposite attracts and now the very reason for her leaving. Well life goes on. My biggest worry is my kids well being and hope they grow up to be fine young adults. Thank you for the encouragement and seeing the positive side of things. In life, you win some you lose some just that this lost is big lost.
Thank you for your well wishes. I’m enjoying and cherishing very moments with both little ones now before she separates them. Going thru this whole nightmare is so so tiring and mentally draining. I find strength to live from my 2 little pillars of support. Will definitely look after them well and make sure they grow up to be fine adults.it is so sad to read this, even more so when the mother was the one who had carried the bb in her womb for 9 long mths and end up, she does not even bother abt them, does not even want to spend enough time with them, does not consider salvaging the marriage for them. you are right, kids are innocent and should not be made to put through this. they deserve love from both parents, not just one, and it definitely sucks to have to lie to them abt why their mother isn't ard majority of the time. kids are still humans and they will feel jealous or upset when they see other families happily outside enjoying their family time. well, no choice, since your wife has become so heartless, then the only thing you can do right now is to work ard the problem.. you can play the role of both parents as well. i can tell you love your kids a lot and hope that that can be your motivation to continue providing for them, bringing them up well and giving them the love and care they need to grow up properly. i believe someday your wife will come to regret her decision cos it is not easy finding a man who can put aside so much for the family, making sacrifices for the family just to keep the marriage going.
take care and hope things get better for you soon.
Thank you Sila. Will definitely continue to be the best dad in their eyes. Will not let them down, that I promise.You are a wonderful dad and continue with the good work.
Your wife did not realise what her loss it.
Hi Siman
Don’t lose hope. The right one will come along. We are all here to support each other. Feel free to start a conversion if you are bored or you just feel like ranting. You can’t help to feel lonely like all of us do but eventually we will survive and emerge stronger. The nights are killing me, after my kids go to bed, it’s miserable time and I can’t sleep till wee hours. Lucky a few kind members reached out to me and I really appreaciate their support. Sometimes we just wasapp and share pointers or just rant as this journey is filled with many ups and downs. The emotional roller coaster is very real so hang on tight. By the way, any pointers how you slowly break the news to your kids? I feel very stress every time I try to test water with my boy that mummy will be moving out eventually.
Hi Happy Dump Boy
Such comforting words. Nights are really tough everyday, no one to talk to, to laugh to cry... But I think I'm getting used and try to play games and watch shows. Handphone is really best companion! I watch ch 8 show with my children and use their scenario to tell them! Then I say example if me and daddy think we no longer suit each other, we can divorce too. This is how I slowly introduce divorce and my child say her classmate parents are divorce. They know what is it
Hee hee that's the best way to show them reality in lifeI'm using this way as well. To use 'tv show' as scenario..
Hi that sounds like a very serious underlying problem. How long has his situation been ongoing for?
I think it’s not right for him to threaten you that way and for him to make u and ur boy walk to school while he drives ur daughter? That’s terrible, especially in the eyes of the kids.
Have both of you sat down and talk everything through recently? Just to understand the cause of it all? Sorry you hav to go through this
You really need to have a talk with him, he cannot expect you can read his mind, you cannot expect him to read your mind too... not to talk about other things like household, work, kids etc etc but talk about the relationship between both of you first...
Find the love in both of you when you both get married.. with the love, things can be settled.
And both of you playing different role for the family and both of you are very important to the family.. you do have your pressure, so as him.. talk it out and be understand to each other..
Lastly, I think he don wan you to continue to talk with your gal at public was because of face (面子), that is very impt for guy, give him what he wants, he will give you what you want, I guess.