I got along well with my parents and in laws however when it comes to upbringing of my gal, our views really differ.
If we are talking about love and concern, my parents love my gal more than I do.
There's absolutely no worries when it comes to hygiene, food and health.
My mum will make sure that my girl has the most nutritious meal going to the market to buy fresh threadfin for her as early as 6 while my dad will buy her whatever she wants.
However discipline will be the main issue for both sides of the grandparents.
Even now, my parents regard my girl (9yr old) as a baby. Can u imagine my girl was still wearing diapers at night and take pacifier at age of 4? There was no right moment to wean. They will give in to whatever nonsense she demand.
So if the grandparents are the caregiver, the area of concern will be:
1. Will they be firm enough not to give in to the whims of the children and say "no" if they refused to eat from their own bowl, throwing tantrums in the public even if they are still babies/toddlers? Be firm enough not to pick up toys for the kids and insisted that they must clear up for themselves.
2. Will they interfere when the kid run to them for "help" when the parents scold them?
3. Will they spoilt the child by buying unnecessary stuff for them?
4. Are they willing to sing the same sync when the parents discipline the kid?
5. Will they be firm enough not to treat them like babies and will not hesitate to spank/lecture for the good sake of the child?
These are area that both of my in laws and parents failed in. Both my mum and mil took sides and asked me not to be too harsh with her. Both grandparents also like to give her $ but luckily she know how to save up in her piggy bank.
My dad is even worse, he never scold me before but once he got really very angry when I slapped my girl.
I also wish to be a doting mum but there will always be a clear line between doting and teaching the right values.