Tototan, u hv come so far & hang on for so long.. Hv to continue to stay strong for ur kiddos.
Sometimes I think, can it really b tt our hbs r experiencing "true love"??? Wat nonsense is all this? Of cos, we r all human beings, we all hv feelings. But feelings r jus feelings, they hv brains & hearts to take the right actions and make choices. So, as sad as I am feeling, I realised tt my hb must not hv really really love me or care for my feeling, if not, all this wld nt happened.
Like u, when hb told me he'll always love me and bb, part of me still wan to believe him. But if he did, why hurt me so much, why give me so pain? Afterall, I did not do him wrong & I am carrying his flesh & blood inside me.
I saw my hb cried. He told me he cried often now. But the thing is, I believe he is jus crying cos of his own guilt. He cld hv still turn back if he hv the heart to.. But he didn't.. Mayb he really think tt his filipino mistress is his true love?? If tt's the case, I wish him happiness & the best.
I believe ur hb feels guilt too, esp towards ur kiddos, no matter how heartless, I'm sure he still feel for the kids, even if it's just alittle.
This is really a very tough period to get thru.. But wat can't kill us will only make us stronger.. I really do hope tt once this is over or quiet down (nt sure can such thg ever be over truly over), u will find joy and purpose in life again, bringing up ur 3 lovely kiddos to be good & useful ppl.
How long is ur hb sitting in this time? I hope it's long enough for u to forget him and his evil ways b4 he come out & disturb ur life again..
Sometimes I wish law can catch my hb too, let him repent and learn his lesson inside without all these noises outside, without his young mistress who will be sweet & loving till he is all under her control.. Sigh.. It really is very tiring to keep thinking abt such thgs. I am learning to concentrate on my little one, and really stop missing or loving my hb. I believe as times goes, I'll b able to do it. My due date is nearing!
MumofT,
I noe u must be v confused abt wat u shld do. Really I'm in no position to comment much, given my own situation.
When I first found out, all I wanted is to salvage our marriage bcos I believe in our love. 14years of gg thru ups & downs together, lots of joys & happiness.. So how can I give up jus bcos of some stupid filipino slut who r here to break up families purposely, rite? These foreign girls knew tt the men are married but still chase after them... & of cos our hbs r weak to give in to such chasing & temptations. I noe in my hb's case (fr a common fren) tt girl chase him v long & my hb tried to avoid her at first.. But in the end, he still "fall in love".. Guess it really does feel good to be loved & wanted.. And during tt time, I admit tt I was upset with him for staying out and nt coming hm cos of his pub biz,etc... But still no excuse for his adultery & all his actions.
I feel u must b very clear with ur situation. Now tt that china woman has left (nt sure if it's for gd tho), u shld really find a chance to talk with hb. But only when u r calm & he is in okay mood too. Actually I feel can let him noe the truth tt u knew of his affair, & tt u r so devastated tt u r even considering a break off, but of cos u love him & the family too much to make this fateful decision on ur own..
I read somewhere, a marriage is abt one spouse being strong while the other is weak...
Only after talking it out will u noe wat u shld do. In my case,
my hb is weak, so I did my best to be strong & tried to salvage our marriage. I waited a few months for him to make his decision. I tried to talk to him but he cannt face me to talk abt this properly, he just kept avoiding this discussion. When finally I brought up divorce, he refused to talk abt it still but he didn't object.. And all these times, he continued his affair. So I concluded tt divorce is inevitable for us.
Cannt describe my feelings and pain now. Cannot explain how sorry I am to my little one for this to happen, for her to suffer the consequences of her parents actions. Its been decided tt she will be in a single parent environment b4 she is even born. My heart is so painful whenever I think of our future.. But I hv no choice but to face the brutal reality. I can't give up now, since hb chose to leave us, I hv to be doubly strong for my little darlin.
Take a little while, think thru all pros & cons of having this marriage, family in tact vs having a broken-up family.. Then from there, take the right actions to save the marriage or get out of the situation. Not easy, of cos.. Only u & hb noe wat is best for ur family.
I still wish I do not hv to go thru divorce. I do not wish to b a divorcee or single mum. I wish my baby hv a complete dad-mum family.. I'm sure all of us mummies here think alike, and want the best for our families..
But really life is so unpredictable. We got married, thinking happily ever after.. But life is like a box of choc.. We will never noe wat we will get..
Jia you mummies.. No matter how bad our situation is, hv to remember tt the sun will still raise again tmr. Jia you, dun give up on life & our little ones.