Cheating Spouse

[babyfish95]

This is my story back in 2015.

I happened to check my husband's phone and noticed strange phone logs, and I traced to phone calls of PRC women offering massage service. This could have happened for around one year before I caught him.

My husband initially denied until I slapped the evidence on his face. He then confessed and told me it was just a sensual massage and nothing else more (no sex). It was a hard hit for me, feeling betrayed etc but I decided to forget then as I was already 8 mth pregnant with my second child.

I never trust him since then. Recently, this bad memories came back to me as one of my friend's husband was found visiting massage places or KTV too.

When I caught him in 2015, I also screenshot and wrote down some hotels in his search (or map). I recently confronted him again, which he denied any visit to hotel. He mentioned he might have searched for food places nearby but who would eat near HOTEL 81, FRAGRANCE HOTEL, RIVERVIEW HOTEL? I feel stupid because as this happened almost 10 years ago, I cannot trace back the history, or even parking location anymore.

Would like to check if any sisters here have friends working in such hotel to verify if he booked a room?

Honestly speaking, I don't feel any love for him and at times I do think of divorce after my children finished PSLE in the next 2-3 years.

 

[Stansy]

This is my story back in 2015.

I happened to check my husband's phone and noticed strange phone logs, and I traced to phone calls of PRC women offering massage service. This could have happened for around one year before I caught him.

My husband initially denied until I slapped the evidence on his face. He then confessed and told me it was just a sensual massage and nothing else more (no sex). It was a hard hit for me, feeling betrayed etc but I decided to forget then as I was already 8 mth pregnant with my second child.

I never trust him since then. Recently, this bad memories came back to me as one of my friend's husband was found visiting massage places or KTV too.

When I caught him in 2015, I also screenshot and wrote down some hotels in his search (or map). I recently confronted him again, which he denied any visit to hotel. He mentioned he might have searched for food places nearby but who would eat near HOTEL 81, FRAGRANCE HOTEL, RIVERVIEW HOTEL? I feel stupid because as this happened almost 10 years ago, I cannot trace back the history, or even parking location anymore.

Would like to check if any sisters here have friends working in such hotel to verify if he booked a room?

Honestly speaking, I don't feel any love for him and at times I do think of divorce after my children finished PSLE in the next 2-3 years.

My dear it’s tough, it’s a breach of customer confidentiality… no one will take the risk. I totally empathise you.. since it happened long ago and there’s no evidents unless it happened again then you deem what’s is right for your kids and yourself

 

[MoeLanYong]

As a man, I'd say it is fairly rampant that married men visit massage parlors for the extra service. A whole community thrives off their patronage. Most do not get caught though. I can understand why a wife will get angry and bitter when she discovers it.

It is all so easy to assign blame. What most wives do not want to understand is WHY did her husband visit them in the first place. When there is food to eat at home, it would take a stupid man who after having chosen to marry the woman he loves, to want to eat outside. Surely something has gone wrong. Either too many quarrels. Or the marriage has gone sexless. Period.

Women need to understand this. Men are built differently. I have had rabbits. All my male rabbit wanted to do all the time 24/7 was to chase after the female rabbit to hump her. Thats all. Every single minute. He has no other purpose in life. This is how we Men were created. You can laugh at us. But it is something we are created with. A lust. That last 85 years. Else mankind would have ended at Adam & Eve. It is a gift. And sometimes a curse. You women are not born with it. So you will never understand how it is like to have this insatiable desire burning inside us all the time.

My female rabbit never once chased my male rabbit to mate. Not 1 time. On the other hand, when she was pregnant, she had an automatic desire to care for her baby. I find it amazing she will want to hang around to feed the baby. I would just let the little one figure it out himself or die. Because I do not have a motherly instinct. You women are born with it. Self sacrificial for your off springs.

TS, did you realize you are staying in your loveless marriage just for your kids? Aren't you exhibiting your innate ability? So all is cool.

Your husband has a need too. So what happens when he can't scratch that itch?

Once we recognize each are born with different needs, THEN we can start to understand our partner's perspective and perhaps work on resolving the issues. But most women choose not to understand this, wishing that reality only works for her and not her husband. This is the part that I do not understand.

 

[Sky1980]

Lady, this happened in 2015 …. Please move on … you are torturing yourself and ur family.

 

[vanilladrops]

Yes agree, move on. Don’t overthink old topics. If he cheated, leave him. Simple as that.

Comparing men with rabbit is nonsense. We are humans, thought process and value systems that make us different from animals. What kind of justification is that even ??? Smh

Quarrels or sexless at home are no excuse for infidelity. Period. When you’re married with children, your needs are the family.

Don’t believe such nonsense. Why @MoeLanYong give these disturbing advice like in other posts. Something wrong with your value system… who hurt you fren?

There’s never an excuse for infidelity. Men that go to these lengths have much deeper issues, as well with the relationship. If you have a thriving partnership, love and communication at home; real men don’t visit these places.