Very Active or Hyper active toddlers

[rabbitz]

My boy 2.5yrs is extremely active. He only has 2 speeds - fast / faster. He seldom walk, he runs all the time.

At home likes to jump on beds and run up and down around the house. Toys cannot keep his attention, he likes physical games like hide-n-seek or ride-ons. He has no sense of danger -- wants to dive into the pool and run towards the road. I always keep him hand-held to keep him safe when outside but sometimes when he cannot get what he wants eg walk up/down on escalator when I told him he must stand still, he will whine and struggle. A small size built but extremely strong. I get exhausted managing his struggling or trying to hold him as he always twist n turn trying to get loose. Diaper changing is always tough job, since infancy stage he always toss n turn and now going out we use pull-ups, 2 adult need a lot of effort to get him to change diaper and cope with him constant struggling,

As a first time mum I get exhausted and disappointed. People tell me boys are like that, very active. But I never seem to see other toddlers like that. I am not sure if that is hyper activity as I was told diagnose only 3-5yrs and my boy is jus being active. I am not sure if i am alone or such behavior is normal to behave in such manner as it is making me paranoid if I should seek medical attention? When I see the same age kids at CC, they listen to teachers and are well behaved. I was told that comes after some period of 'training' in school. My boy went CC one period for 2 weeks. He dash to toilet to play water, throw toys and doesn't follow teacher to walk with the class.

I was always told it is normal active behavior as hyperactivity is worse than how my boy behaves.

Hope some mummies of toddlers can share advise and tell me is it really nothing to worry? Boys being boys?

 

[jesslyn_liew]

Hi Rabbitz, i have 3 daughters n am a babysitter too. I have been taking care of him since he is one mth, currently he is about the same age as your son.As he stays in my house n only goes home 2 days in a wk. He has the same problem as your son n this is also the first time i met this kind of kids. I have 4 nephews but all not like him so i check with my pd whether does he consider hyperactive. My pd told me that if he could stay in a place to watch television program or watch nursery rythems, then u can say he is active only but not hyperactive.

 

[rabbitz]

Hi Jesslyn,
My boy can sit an d watch nursery rhymes. In fact it is the only thing I could do to make him sit down else he runs about and unable to feed.
Relieved to know this is not considered hyper active. Did yr PD share what are the obvious signs of hyperactive to help parents identify easily?

 

[jotadd]

Hi Rabbitz

My boy is very active too, he's coming to 2.5 years old. I used to be concerned that he is hyperactive too but I believe he is just active. He can sit still to watch nursery rhymes or Hi5 and he likes to watch TV commercials. He can sit still and play with his toys but he has a short attention span.

It is very tough to bring him out. He is simply like your boy, he likes to run around and sometimes doesn't like me to hold his hand or that his movements be controlled but I taught him to listen to instructions such as when he's walking, his hand must be held or else he has to sit in the stroller. When I say no, he must listen. Its especially tough bringing him to food centres or outdoors where I have to keep one eye on him and the other eye on the traffic because sometimes people don't give way or watch where you going. Sometimes when I insist on carrying him especially on the road or dangerous places, he tried to put up a struggle and make noise but I will insist and explain to him and he does listen. Perhaps initially the struggle is fierce but as I try to explain to him and insist on not giving in to his requests, he will quieten down.

Whenever I bring him to supermarkets, he will put his hands on whatever he can get. Sometimes he simply doesn't listen but I don't give in and explain to him and after a while, he will understand that no means no.

When it comes to bedtime, he is always turning and tossing. I sometimes have to scream and yell at him esp when I am frustrated and impatient. But I learn to accept that that is his nature and what works is, for me to divert his attention by asking him would you like this or that and he would forget about being playful and tossing in bed and after awhile, he would settle in bed and let me pat him to sleep. Very tiring, very draining but I found out what works and what doesn't. When he was younger and I tried transition from rocking to put him down and pat him, sometimes he would lie down and gradually sleep but there are times he goes wild and play and try to turn his body backwards and I was concerned that he would hit himself. Discipline doesn't work and what works I realize is, to hold him and look at him and tell him nicely can you stop playing like this but do something else instead and he would listen. He likes the soft approach these days especially when I want him to help me with the chores.

As for toys, he has short attention span. Yes he runs around but he walks too. Especially when he plays with my niece or nephews, I'm really concerned he will hit himself or fell and get injured. But its very hard to control him. He is just like that. What I do is, to cut down on playtime and explain to him if he doesn't slow down I may stop him from playing. Then I try to introduce some other activities.

For mine, I try to teach him to throw his pampers and help out by keeping his toys or putting his dirty laundry into the basin since he turned 1.5 years old so when he is slightly bigger, I try to teach him a bit more or get him to share some of my load.

When he is playing, he goes wild and is very active. What I do is try to remove dangerous stuff and let him play in a safe environment while I keep a watchful eye.

 

[ocean_blue]

Increased activity in a young child can sometimes be linked to the type of food and social activities provided to the child.

Early exposure to media e.g. watching cartoons / educational shows can also cause hyperactivity as it's too much stimulation on the brain of a child below the age of 2 yo. Age appropriate shows with adult supervision may be provided to a child above 2 yo. E.g. Barney is only for children above 3 yo.

Too much sugars (e.g. carbohydrates, sugary foods) can also cause an outburst of energy unless the child is provided an outlet to release that extra energy e.g. running around in a park. Otherwise, the child's diet has to be modified to prevent a surge in energy levels (read: sugar rush)

 

[jesslyn_liew]

Hi, so sorry, just saw your msg, actually all the problem u share is exactly the same as the boy that i am taking care of, its really seems like we are talking about the same person. My pd did not say how to control them but for my experience, u must b patient. I remember i got one friend whose son also had the same problem last time n the doctor advise her to switch to those cheap milk powder instead of having those brand n nutritious powder. Maybe u can try it out. This is why when the boy around, u seldom goes out coz when he throws trumpet, he can just anyhow lay on the floor n cry, really surrender n he's not my child so dicipline is limited

 

[jesslyn_liew]

From what i no, hyperactive kids cant even sit for 1 min

 

[jotadd]

Mine can play on his own, with his toys but he wants me to play with him whenever my niece is not around. Perhaps I agree to a certain extent, food does play an important role but him being a normal kid just proactive and not autistic or special kid, a special diet is perhaps not essential at this point of time especially in a childcare setting environment, it is impossible to let an active kid have a special diet I guess.

I don't let him watch too much TV and I did switch a few brands of milk powder when he was younger as he was fussy and colicky. However, I noticed that he is just like any other kid, he is pretty intelligent as in he behaves himself when he is scared of someone who seems authoritative or fierce. He does try to run around or change places during feeding time but I am quite strict in that aspect I don't let him get used to it. It takes time, I taught him to wash his hands after food and only be at the kitchen when eating or drinking. He does try though to break the rules at times but I guess consistency plays a part and you just have to be really patient with him.

And when he makes me really mad when he does something wrong, he is really silent and behaves himself. In fact, he is better at behaving himself as he grows bigger although he is still active and needs supervision. But it's not all the time. I taught him to throw him own diaper, to wash his hands after eating, to keep his toys after playing, to put his dirty laundry into the basin for wash. Takes a lot of time to slowly guide and teach but can be done. And to sit really at the back when he's watching TV or cartoons. If not, I would pause it and he would do what to do.

He is an active kid. When I was pregnant, he was already doing yoga shoulder stands in my belly. I got that from my GP's verification during scans as he would stretch his legs above his head. That he did for a couple of months. He was often running or walking around from one place to another when he was younger but as he reach 2, he kind of settled with his toys. If he's tired of playing Lego, he would play with his cooking toys. If not, he would take his books out to flip. Difficult to teach rules or discipline but not impossible. I taught him to keep his toys after he finished with something and before he wanted to take something else. And he needs me to tell him nicely not shout at him or scold him or he wouldn't play heed.

Kids are very intelligent, esp active kids. They know their boundaries but I guess you really need a lot of patience and consistency to see results. When he is crying or screaming because he couldn't get something, I would tell him to stand one corner until he has quietened down and it helps. He does do that. Whenever I'm trying to talk to him and sometimes he doesn't look at me, I would tell him to look at me in the eye because I am talking to him. I want to get his attention and unless he looks at me then I started talking to him. Stuff like that.

But he knows me that when I say no, I mean no. Yes, he would scream but it would lessen after sometime. It gets shorter each time.

Oh I do bring him out. And I don't let him roll on the floor and scream if he can't get something. I started getting strict with him since he reach 1. I started from home so it helps a lot. So even if I'm outside and he wants something, I would bring him away and tell him firmly no means no and divert his attention and he would stop after awhile. It's not really as bad to the point I hardly bring him out. I bring him to church weekly, I bring him out too. It is just tiring whenever we go supermarket because i need to be mindful of what he's getting his hands on.

I'm a single mum so when I'm not working, I spend all my time and attention on him. Tiring but he's my only child and my responsibility so I supervise what he watches on TV and plays with him. It can be done really.

 

[tensilestrain]

I agree with jotadd that must be firm with the child. They are clever. They know how to get what they want.
As for food, avoid giving sweets and candies if the child is very active. My boy is 3yo. I seldom give sweets but childcare does. Sweets are commonly found in goodies bags too. In fact, he eats more tidbits in childcare than at home. I always hide the sweets when i see them on goodies bag.

 

[rabbitz]

A lot of pple I known have brought their toddlers on overseas trip and ask me when is my turn. For me, even going shopping is very stressful and tiring. It is difficult to explain why cos they have easy-going kids and will not understand. Simple task like putting on diapers,one person press him down and another tape the diapers. Outside, one person carries him and another wear the pull-ups. It is hard and tiring, I feel v sad that my child is so hard to handle. Even wearing pull-ups, he doesn't cooperate. Its like having war and v stressed. He does not stand and allow u to wear, he will shrink his legs up and keep on kicking, wanting to go to the sink play water. I saw how other toddlers change diapers, they just stand and automatically moves legs to wear the pants. My boy behave like infant who cannot stand and it makes us sweat. He likes to jump and twist his body to struggle away, often his head hit my jaw and I bleed in the mouth. One person is impossible to bring him out, cos he can struggle and wriggle so hard, u get exhausted handling him for a short while.

He is very small and skinny but strong. 2.5yr at 11kg only - it was only past 2yr old that he crossed 10kg. I am also v paranoid on his petite size that he doesn't drink much milk since birth, <100ml, can u believe it? I brought him to see Wong Boi Boi (if u know her) and even Mrs Wong also bobian.After weaning I tried so much food but he rejects all. Now he only eats one kid bowl pasta or noodle soup for meal, sometimes cannot finish and want to escape from high chair. He doesn't like snacks like biscuits, cakes, bread etc even if sweet. It's hard to fatten him up despite how hard I tried on different recipes and heartache seeing him like that and throwing so much feed away. His milk feeds now 150ml, sure will have leftovers. I even thought to give up to give him UHT or fresh milk as it wasted my money on FM, I would say 60-70% wastage on every feed. I never heard any baby dislike milk, even the time I BF also same intake, tried soy milk, HA milk etc, all brands on market, Pediasure. nothing works. Pple would comment he doesn't look his age and why he so skinny. It hurts me a lot like I am starving him. I get v depressed that how come my kid doesn't eat and doesn't behave. It's like a health issue but PD, dietician says nothing wrong with ability to chew etc, just being fussy with food.

 

[jesslyn_liew]

Hi rabbitz, i understand your worries, as for me, my two eldest girl is fat but my young one is skinny n people always ask me why she so skinny. In my view, skinny is better than always sick, it doesn't matter whether they are skinny or fat but must be healthy. The boy that i take care also likes to kick and always injured by him also but we really can't control their tamper, no matter how fierce we are , they dont seems to be scared. I always tell myself that they are still young, just bear with it for 1 more yr, they will start to change

 

[jotadd]

Hi Rabbitz

I understand where you are coming from. When my boy was small, I always admire other mothers who could swaddle their babies while they shop or read books. Sometimes whenever we go supermarket, I always admire those mothers whose kids would stay in their stroller while they do their marketing.

I could never do that. Whenever we go supermarket, he can't wait to get off the stroller and get his hands onto whatever he could get. As time goes along, I learn to blend in with him and accept him for who he is. Whenever we go supermarket, I would explain to him what he could and what he couldn't while I keep an eye on him. Yes it ain't easy but I guess if you hardly bring him out, once he is out, he is out of control and it's harder to tame him. I bring him out daily. I follow him closely while he look around and observe. I would explain to him. Sometimes he listens and sometimes he doesn't but it isn't really that bad.

When he was small, I'm really scared of bringing him to take public transport even with the aid of my maid because he's unpredictable and hard to control.

I understand where you are coming from about trying to fatten him up. I try to fatten him up too. He is also very fussy with food and hardly put on weight. So I am strict about what he eats before meals and I don't let him eat adult food or rather, what I feel not beneficial for him.

I do have colleagues or friends telling me they bring their young child overseas. I do admire them too but I tell myself that he's not sensible enough so I can't bring him abroad yet. Just gotta wait another year or 2.

Pediatrician do sell an appetite stimulant which can help increase kids appetite. You can try. Or either way try Pediasure milk which has chocolate and strawberry flavour. More expensive but may help them wanting to drink more. I bought that for my boy but he still didn't drink much.

I have a girlfriend whose toddler is also 2.5 years old who only drinks 3 ounces. No choice.

End of the day, I'm thankful that although he is active, he is healthy. Count your blessings! In a way, yes when kids grow bigger they are more well behaved but in certain cases they may not. I watched a Ch 8 documentary on a 6 year old who is hyperactive, very out of control and very naughty. The mother was too good tempered.

I spend a lot of time with him playing and reading and teaching him to keep his toys and help with simple chores. Yea we can't control their temper but we probably can teach them not to react when angry and know that if they do something wrong, there is discipline and set boundaries.

Mine when angry will hit my niece. I have to discipline. And it cuts down.

 

[Mel_Lee]

They are not called the 'terrible two's' for nothing.

Most toddlers tend to be active and this is pretty normal because they have just mastered the skill of walking/running and they just want to go everywhere and anywhere with their new-found skill! However, it's at this age as most of other mummies have said, that we need to be more watchful as they may still lose their balance and fall and their spatial awareness is still developing. One thing i learnt about most children with hyperactive issues is that they have difficulties at nap time or bed time (because their body is telling them to move,move,move). If it is persistently the case, then maybe something needs to be highlighted.

At this age, toddlers need to be given boundaries to let them know what they can or cannot do. Mummies and daddies have to be extremely patient because they will test you. As long as you remain consistent with what can be done and cannot be done (e.g house rules), after some time, your toddler will get it. It might take a while though (depending on how quick your child realizes what the rules and boundaries are in the house) so you really need to have patience. Jiayou!