Unsecured, must all guys flirt on Whatsapp?

[dis_heart]

Hi,

I am a divorced woman. 3 years ago, know this man of mine and we stayed together. He is not divorced yet as he is waiting for the flat to matured (5 years), he recently just filed divorce. Within these 3 years I gave birth to one boy and one girl for him. We working in the same company. so basically, he is 24/7 by my side. He doesn't hide his phone and at times he will pass me his phone to answer some whatsapp.


few weeks ago i asked him " did you ever flirt with other ger on whatsapp and delete the chat? he told me "yes, for work purpose and he deletes cause he dunwan me to ask too much question," i asked him "y must flirt leh?"
He replied " sometimes things will get moving and this is the natural thing in me.. he loves sweet talk"


so... i downloaded his WA in my phone using some spy apps. so far i saw 2 times...


1st time - he was chatting with a female driver (our company driver) and the lady mentioned she is sick.. so my man say need him tabao for her? heng the lady say no... and lastly my man ask her " y 舍不得我huh?" the lady replied with punch... * i manage to screenshot this*


2nd time : this time with a supplier.. he asking her to help him expidite things and after done will treat her dinner.. the lady replied “ thanks in advance will help to expedite..” after this message he deleted real fast and I can’t take a screenshot of it..


The way he say “hello” on the phone to ladies is “f-king” sweet lor..


Am I over reacting? I shouldn’t in the first place get access to his Whatsapp etc? Now I hesitating should I marry him..

 

[Mongkok]

Hi,

I am a divorced woman. 3 years ago, know this man of mine and we stayed together. He is not divorced yet as he is waiting for the flat to matured (5 years), he recently just filed divorce. Within these 3 years I gave birth to one boy and one girl for him. We working in the same company. so basically, he is 24/7 by my side. He doesn't hide his phone and at times he will pass me his phone to answer some whatsapp.


few weeks ago i asked him " did you ever flirt with other ger on whatsapp and delete the chat? he told me "yes, for work purpose and he deletes cause he dunwan me to ask too much question," i asked him "y must flirt leh?"
He replied " sometimes things will get moving and this is the natural thing in me.. he loves sweet talk"


so... i downloaded his WA in my phone using some spy apps. so far i saw 2 times...


1st time - he was chatting with a female driver (our company driver) and the lady mentioned she is sick.. so my man say need him tabao for her? heng the lady say no... and lastly my man ask her " y?????" the lady replied with punch... * i manage to screenshot this*


2nd time : this time with a supplier.. he asking her to help him expidite things and after done will treat her dinner.. the lady replied “ thanks in advance will help to expedite..” after this message he deleted real fast and I can’t take a screenshot of it..


The way he say “hello” on the phone to ladies is “f-king” sweet lor..


Am I over reacting? I shouldn’t in the first place get access to his Whatsapp etc? Now I hesitating should I marry him..

When you gave birth to his 1st kid, you still have the option of not marrying him.

why he isn't married to you when you were pregnant with the 2nd one? (*ok... maybe timing)

so far, he is only a father to his kids, not yet a husband. hence he still feel 'single-ly'.

you better marry him before he refuses to marry you.

asking you to marry him doesn't means giving him (an opportunist) a chance. it's giving yourself a better chance. if you guys break up at this current status quo, you will be getting the bad end of the stick.

unless, you have a pending inheritance and you are keeping him away... then diff story.

 

[dis_heart]

When you gave birth to his 1st kid, you still have the option of not marrying him.

why he isn't married to you when you were pregnant with the 2nd one? (*ok... maybe timing)

so far, he is only a father to his kids, not yet a husband. hence he still feel 'single-ly'.

you better marry him before he refuses to marry you.

asking you to marry him doesn't means giving him (an opportunist) a chance. it's giving yourself a better chance. if you guys break up at this current status quo, you will be getting the bad end of the stick.

unless, you have a pending inheritance and you are keeping him away... then diff story.

hi Mongkok, he can't marry me becoz he is still married. now juz file divorce as his wife and his flat mature liao (5 yrs).. now becoz of the next hse we need to get married.. that's y i duno if i can tolerate my man flirting msg even after married.

 

[Mongkok]

hi Mongkok, he can't marry me becoz he is still married. now juz file divorce as his wife and his flat mature liao (5 yrs).. now becoz of the next hse we need to get married.. that's y i duno if i can tolerate my man flirting msg even after married.

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet.

Some men are cheeky and at same time fiercely faithful. Some are otherwise...

Most people behave differently in person vs thru key board.

Seems like you don't know him real well. He mayb already flirting ard when u guys get together... Try to know him better. U already had 2 kids will him, that means he is still somehow a keeper.

If he is really those innocently cheeky type, then learn to accept. By restricting him, you will snuff out your relationship.

And i think noone will b happy to have their privacy invaded. Unless u are keen on heading for a breakup, if not, i think you shld stop checking on him. A healthy relationship is build on trust, not on doubt.

If you can, find an opportunity to tell him abt your dislike (flirty msg). But remember, he hasn't crossed the line yet.

 

[JL8118]

I think this is very 'common' in between men. My hubby also message/talk such to his female colleagues, or staff as well. In some way, do really can get things faster in a way.
Myself I too sometimes will tend to 'flirt' or sweet talk to my colleague to get things done faster/easier. Sort of 'teh' (hokkien).

And like what Mongkok mentioned, he haven't really cross his line yet. But again, if you are concern about it, have a talk with him.

 

[punkkini]

many women think that by doing this or that
they are able to control their men.
do not think that by giving birth to how many kids they will stay by ur side. there are irresponsible people out there. or thinking of forcing him to marry you. can marry can divorce too ok.
get a life and enjoy your moment with ur children. just be prepare he is going to leave. then u wont feel so bad
live for yourself...

 

[dis_heart]

Thanks all.. had a talk with him.. I told him i cannot close one eyes with his flirt msg (dating her for dinner, praising her how pretty and sweet she is)..i told him he like that he is inviting temptation or open for temptation.. I also mention I decide to leave with the kids and what's my plan... so after he explained blar blar blar.. we decide to give another try.. He say he try to restrain the words he flirt etc...and he ask me try to restrain myself frm checking his phone.