Support group - Miscarriages

Hopeful, I aso worry daily as well. Just last night I had muscle pulling when I turn in bed not tummy cramp. Imagine only week10 already clumsy, can't imagine the rest of 8 mths down the road. My dh only kp saying it's like tat one, like on my bday I was so paranoid of no having any preggy symptoms, I went to see gynae without letting him know... he said I damn silly to tik like tat
 


dolly_gal said:
Hopeful, I aso worry daily as well. Just last night I had muscle pulling when I turn in bed not tummy cramp. Imagine only week10 already clumsy, can't imagine the rest of 8 mths down the road. My dh only kp saying it's like tat one, like on my bday I was so paranoid of no having any preggy symptoms, I went to see gynae without letting him know... he said I damn silly to tik like tat
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Dolly gal dun worry u are doing well. Another two more wks and u will pass the first trimester! :)
 
hopeful_mum said:
Lol they will nvr blame the man! I sometimes very evil. I hope it is my hubby's prob. Lol but of cox I hope no one has prob. But once got his family comments II get irritated.
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Haha u are v funny! Yup but of course no guy likes to hear and admit he got a "man's problem". My hb didn't accept it and said it must have been me not stimulating enough to him. Anyway at the end of the day, it is "our" problem and hope can work thru it together :)
For family comments... Haiz just ignore. Not as if u see them every day anyway.
 
Hahaa I tik my dh aso thot he has no problem until he sa.. he admitted to mil tat he is part of the cause as well...
 
hi_mei said:
Haiz in the end I decided to tell her. Was qt touched that she didn't blame me, and said nevermind. But she also said mb the baby wasn't healthy because of the unnatural ivf process and she prefers we try naturally (which is impossible). Then she started talking about how about adopting, which was qt upsetting...
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Ur mil so understanding... U really blessed to have such a caring mil...
For mine, she will try not talk abt bb issue with me... Which is a blessing too bcos I really duno how to talk her... But once awhile she will say how nice if we have a child... Unintentionally I guess... But it somehow still hurt me.
 
hopeful_mum said:
Thanks babe. I still have 4 more weeks to 2nd trim. Just taking one step at a time. Some things are beyond our ctrl.

For now don't think of anything else. Just grieve properly. It's a tough journey to recovery. But we do recover and become stronger.

At least ur mil isn't giving u guys pressure. I read of cases where the mil scolded the DIL for not taking care and losing the baby. Reading such things drive me insanely mad. At least she is rather supportive. And she knows both of u have tried very hard.
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Yes dear, one step at time.. When I'm pregnant, I will yet keep my mind busy. Watch my favorite show or have a short nap.. Can understand ur feeling.. During my previous whole 8 weeks, not one day I relax before... Everyone telling me to relax or it will affect my bb.. But it really can't help it... I'm sure we done our bests dear... No regret.
 
Lol ya lah. Sorry ah I selfish. Sometimes really wish it's hub prob but we both don't have prob. Sigh. Easier what if it's his prob the auntie ask I will tell her u ask him go Suntec fountain walk 3 rounds Loh. Lol

But I can't. Lol

Dolly gals ya we are both at 10 weeks. Jia you!

Haze can understand if they are unintentional and still hurt us. Imagine my mil is like intentionally! Wah will ask my hub why nvr time bd. Then when talked to me ask me why time bd. Wag piang. Put it crudely, seriously make love also need to listen to her? Lol.
 
haze02 said:
Ur mil so understanding... U really blessed to have such a caring mil...
For mine, she will try not talk abt bb issue with me... Which is a blessing too bcos I really duno how to talk her... But once awhile she will say how nice if we have a child... Unintentionally I guess... But it somehow still hurt me.
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Yup agree.... I guess they alr try to be qt sensitive but sometimes inadvertently might say smth like that... Try not to take to heart. My own mom was commenting on how our family had a no. of shotgun marriages then she accidentally said that she wish mine was shotgun, better than now no baby... Was qt sad but guess she didn't mean it. So try not to take to heart...
 
hopeful_mum said:
Sorry ladies need a listening ear. Hubby and me are getting very attached to the beanie now. But we haven't even cross the first trim yet. And we both know the worry won't end till we deliver the baby.

Last night my hubby was quite emotional. He told me he doesn't know how to handle it if things don't go well again this time. He will be very hurt and don't know if he can try again.

Sigh hurts me also to see him go thru such emotions. But there's nothing we can do except to pray and take care. We have gone tru so many mc he is so tired of it. Very emotional draining. As much as we are trying to think positively somehow we are both worried. :(
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Hi Hopeful_mum, I understand how you feel. When I went through my D&C, my hubby so ultra disappointed and even my gynea said my husband was very disappointed. It really heart pain to know that your love one feels hurt. My hubby tried not to tried in front of me and try to stay strong for me. But it is really painful to see him getting hurt so much and there is nothing much I can do.

I guess it's normal for your hubby to feel emotional. He is human, afterall and emotions are hard to control. Perhaps he just want to share his feelings with you but don't need you to action on anything - just be his listening ear. I understand it is hard to be positive as well no matter how much other people tells you to relax and don't think so much. I will pray for you and hope everything goes well for you and your hubby.
 
hi_mei said:
Haiz in the end I decided to tell her. Was qt touched that she didn't blame me, and said nevermind. But she also said mb the baby wasn't healthy because of the unnatural ivf process and she prefers we try naturally (which is impossible). Then she started talking about how about adopting, which was qt upsetting...
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Hi_Mei, just hang in there. I am suppose to have dinner with my in-laws tomorrow for the first time after this m/c. I dun know how to react to them as well. At least, think your mil has the concept that the bb is not healthy and she does not blame you. Dun get too affected by what others say. The most important thing is that you have your hubby to support you and love you.
 
Chew Sok Koon said:
Hi_Mei, just hang in there. I am suppose to have dinner with my in-laws tomorrow for the first time after this m/c. I dun know how to react to them as well. At least, think your mil has the concept that the bb is not healthy and she does not blame you. Dun get too affected by what others say. The most important thing is that you have your hubby to support you and love you.
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Thanks for this encouragement, my hb has been v nice this wk. hope ur dinner with in laws goes well.

Today I was having lunch and shopping outside and cannot stop crying. Think even hb doesn't know what to do... Think I am getting worse at controlling my emotions. Hope this ends soon. I dunno how I am gg to survive the d n c on Mon...
 
hi_mei said:
Thanks for this encouragement, my hb has been v nice this wk. hope ur dinner with in laws goes well.

Today I was having lunch and shopping outside and cannot stop crying. Think even hb doesn't know what to do... Think I am getting worse at controlling my emotions. Hope this ends soon. I dunno how I am gg to survive the d n c on Mon...
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Hugs babe. U will have more closure after the d&c.
 
Thanks baby sparkles and hopeful mum. Just feel so sad. Hope can put all this behind and look forward. I dunno how the sisters with multiple miscarriages can bear it, u must be so strong.
 
hi_mei said:
Thanks baby sparkles and hopeful mum. Just feel so sad. Hope can put all this behind and look forward. I dunno how the sisters with multiple miscarriages can bear it, u must be so strong.
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Has no choice. Life continues without us moving on. But if we don't our loved ones will be affected. So I choose to live happily for my existing loved ones instead of letting them worry. Cherishing who I currently have in life though not forgetting my precious angels.
 
Mel jia you! Definitely will feel so sad...esp we all had a long n hard ttc journey...just cry when u want to...n after that gather yourself...tell urself u can get pregnant ! Still got hope...we still have another cycle , still have another chance to try...now we need to look after our body, make sure it is recovering n soon ready for another baby....jia you!! N i m still hanging onto the hope that after mc one is fertile...
 
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hi_mei said:
Thanks for this encouragement, my hb has been v nice this wk. hope ur dinner with in laws goes well.

Today I was having lunch and shopping outside and cannot stop crying. Think even hb doesn't know what to do... Think I am getting worse at controlling my emotions. Hope this ends soon. I dunno how I am gg to survive the d n c on Mon...
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Hi_Mei, just cry all you want, no need to control your emotions. I went through the same emotional rollercooster two week ago when I just did my D&C. For one whole week, I just cry without any reasons. Pain and sadness will just come rolling in. It's part of recovering. If you need support, you can always come to this forum and vent out your emotions.
 
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Hi ladies, I back in office officially today after two weeks of rest after the D&C. Totally no motivation to work today. I have a strong urge to change a totally different job or just to resign and just want to hide myself at home. :(
 
My gynae was ok, but the doc who was at the day surgery after my D&C looked at me strangely when I said 5 weeks.. she still gave me anyway. I could have taken much longer if I wanted but i had an event to do :( and the event organiser was heavily preggy when I did my D&C

i really needed time for myself, and away from colleagues. Though my colleagues came to visit me at home too.. it's different to be at home and be at work
 
baby_sparkles said:
My gynae was ok, but the doc who was at the day surgery after my D&C looked at me strangely when I said 5 weeks.. she still gave me anyway. I could have taken much longer if I wanted but i had an event to do :( and the event organiser was heavily preggy when I did my D&C

i really needed time for myself, and away from colleagues. Though my colleagues came to visit me at home too.. it's different to be at home and be at work
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Your colleagues are very nice! So sweet of them. My colleagues wanted to visit me at the hospital when I had my ectopic surgery done. But I sun away from them. Don't want to see anyone also.
 
Yes, my colleagues wanted to visit me when I did my D&C but I told them no as well because I am emotionally unstable to see anyone else as well. Now, back in office. Everything seems normal and yet my state of mind feels different. For some reason, there is a slight emptiness inside. Maybe because I work because for the $$ and not for the passion. Maybe I am just "allergy to work"..... ;)
 
lol I think many ppl are allergy to work. there are a few lucky ones who really loved work though. unfortunately we are the ones haha

it willt ake u some time to get used to.
 
Hehe sok koon, maybe after the emotional roller coaster needs sometime to re adapt back to work..just take it as time can pass faster!! N soon can try again :)
 
Sok koon today only first day back at work. It's natural to feel this way. When I back to work after hl, I even tear at y desk when it suddenly pops into my mind. Luckily my desk is at a corner of the ofc n no one ard me.. it probably takes a week or more for u to move on to face ur colleagues...
 
It's a good outlet here for ladies to talk and mourn about their MC loss. It's a painful recovery but we must all know time heals and don't give up and allow your loved ones (family or friends) to be there for you.

I've had 2 MCs and the chapters have closed. Do get your health back (do mini confinement) and be ready for the next healthy bfp.
 
bliswifu said:
Mel jia you! Definitely will feel so sad...esp we all had a long n hard ttc journey...just cry when u want to...n after that gather yourself...tell urself u can get pregnant ! Still got hope...we still have another cycle , still have another chance to try...now we need to look after our body, make sure it is recovering n soon ready for another baby....jia you!! N i m still hanging onto the hope that after mc one is fertile...
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Thanks bliswifu! :)

Chew Sok Koon said:
Yes, my colleagues wanted to visit me when I did my D&C but I told them no as well because I am emotionally unstable to see anyone else as well. Now, back in office. Everything seems normal and yet my state of mind feels different. For some reason, there is a slight emptiness inside. Maybe because I work because for the $$ and not for the passion. Maybe I am just "allergy to work"..... ;)
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Sok Koon, mb now is just a transition period.... We will all be strong and overcome it. But needs time.

Just finished my d n c, though the docs and nurses were so nice it is one of the worst experiences in my life... I cried from the moment the pill was inserted until the OT... And when I woke up I was in tears.
 
Hi mei, cry as u like n let it out.. u will get over it just tat it takes time. Get something memorable for ur angel. I got my dh buy a pair of pink & blue teddy bear charms from Pandora..
 
dolly_gal said:
Hi mei, cry as u like n let it out.. u will get over it just tat it takes time. Get something memorable for ur angel. I got my dh buy a pair of pink & blue teddy bear charms from Pandora..
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I'm also collecting pandora! My 2nd pregnancy I bought the pram charm ended up mc now putting the lil charm beside the Buddha statue at home. Hopefully it will bless it!
 
It's such a bad day, just got to know someone who's drinking and partying non stop one got preg. Hais things are always so easy for others, despite us taking care of our body and doing so much test but still just happened to us again and again! :(
 
mangohope said:
I'm also collecting pandora! My 2nd pregnancy I bought the pram charm ended up mc now putting the lil charm beside the Buddha statue at home. Hopefully it will bless it!
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My dh aso bot me the pram charm for bday in 2012 when I was gg thru my dun know which ivf cycle but didn't bfp.
 
mangohope said:
It's such a bad day, just got to know someone who's drinking and partying non stop one got preg. Hais things are always so easy for others, despite us taking care of our body and doing so much test but still just happened to us again and again! :(
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Me too! Yesterday a friend told me she was preggy. I was shocked cos she was young, married for less than a year. She smoked, drink and party regularly. She said it was accident. She was preggy in Jan, but Feb her AF still report, hence she dunno she was preggy, so she continue her usual lifestyle. She only took her pregnancy test in April when she missed 2 cycles of AF. She blur blur like that and passed first trimester already. All of us so ganchiong to pass the first trimester, yet she happy-go-lucky and passed it.

How I wish I am as lucky as her!
 
princessleopard said:
Me too! Yesterday a friend told me she was preggy. I was shocked cos she was young, married for less than a year. She smoked, drink and party regularly. She said it was accident. She was preggy in Jan, but Feb her AF still report, hence she dunno she was preggy, so she continue her usual lifestyle. She only took her pregnancy test in April when she missed 2 cycles of AF. She blur blur like that and passed first trimester already. All of us so ganchiong to pass the first trimester, yet she happy-go-lucky and passed it.

How I wish I am as lucky as her!
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It's not that we are not happy for them but just feeling the pitch like why us and why happened hor :(
 
mangohope said:
It's not that we are not happy for them but just feeling the pitch like why us and why happened hor :(
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Ya lo, I am happy for her too. She actually thought of going for abortion, but when saw her first u/s, she changed her mind. Luckily! I wanted baby so badly, yet cannot pass the first trimester everytime. Yet she wanted to abort.

I touched her belly yesterday, and gotten her baby dust...lol. Hope next month ttc journey goes smooth!
 
i just had miscarriage on Monday. Is my first child and it only 6 wee skis.very sad and devastating.

Any advise if I can still try again ?
 
shs_ismail said:
i just had miscarriage on Monday. Is my first child and it only 6 wee skis.very sad and devastating.

Any advise if I can still try again ?
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Sorry to hear that.

I think the most important thing is to take good care of your health before ttc again. Usually gynae will tell us to wait till hormones return back to normal then try again, about 1-3 months time.

Take care!
 
shs_ismail said:
i just had miscarriage on Monday. Is my first child and it only 6 wee skis.very sad and devastating.

Any advise if I can still try again ?
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I'm so sorry for your loss! Any d&c done? Better have a mini confinement at least 2 weeks, just try when you are ready :) it on depends on your body I guess. Normally gynaes will ask us to wait for the third cycles to try. But some will say straight away can try so it's up to individual! Have a good rest 1st! Healing your body is more important now. Stay strong!
 
Princess n mango i agree...sigh really duno y dun look after still can strike n ppl like us tried soooo hard...medicine la acupuncture la, no cold drinks la....yet still cannot keep bb...going to see doctor tomorrow hopefully good news...as in no need DnC , everything clear...since i took the pill...
But yes agree with dolly, just focus on our body now...at least conceived once/twice means we can conceive!
Shs welcome here...we share our grief here together, vent out here n move on tog b stronger :)
 
Ladies just to share although I went thru mc once but I nvr able concieve naturally. I went thru 8 ivf cycles (fresh n fet ).if u can concieve naturally it's really better than I bd dun know how many times / years aso no result..
emotionally, physically I went thru roller coaster for the past 3 years to get a good pregnancy this round but I still have 7 mths ahead to go before I see my rainbow angel.. till the day it comes then it's real for time being, I living in fear daily too.
 
Hi ladies, i have friends who had miscarriage , unable to conceived cases. After they were being introduce to taking Reserve ( for both husband & wife ) months later they get their results. So happy for them !! Give it a try
 
Ladies ......I'm so sian w my current job my boss change dramatically many things happened and yet I cannot tender now as my bond end 20/05. Any course above $1500 will be bonded for 6 months mine is $1575 because of the $75 bonded cannot quit otherwise need to pay 3 times of the course b4 sdf. Menses should report by today the sysmptoms of menses arriving is very strong and yet it not yet arrive making me feeling uneasy cos want to come but no come n tested negative also...so sian sigh :(
 
dolly_gal said:
Ladies just to share although I went thru mc once but I nvr able concieve naturally. I went thru 8 ivf cycles (fresh n fet ).if u can concieve naturally it's really better than I bd dun know how many times / years aso no result..
emotionally, physically I went thru roller coaster for the past 3 years to get a good pregnancy this round but I still have 7 mths ahead to go before I see my rainbow angel.. till the day it comes then it's real for time being, I living in fear daily too.
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Dolly gal u are really v patient... I am gg to do my 4th fresh cycle in Jul/Aug and I alr feel it is many tries and getting tired... Jiayou... U passed first tri already rite, it is much safer from then. Have faith that this is a sticky baby :)
 
mangohope said:
It's such a bad day, just got to know someone who's drinking and partying non stop one got preg. Hais things are always so easy for others, despite us taking care of our body and doing so much test but still just happened to us again and again! :(
Click to expand...

Hi mangohope, I know! I have friend who have abortion 3 times (because she dun wan it) and still get pregnant when she decided to start trying for 3 months. Life is so unfair!! :(
 


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