Support group - Miscarriages

hi apple and icy
Yes.. whenever i see any friend announcing their pregnancy and their edd is similiar to mine, i cun help tinking that it could be me in their situation and i will always cry after that. Hubby always say im getting upset over nothing.... it's the emotional pain to dnc not the physical pain...

i told him ydae if u dun want kids fine, i can live with it. But dun expect kids but yet u dun co-operate like that i rather dun have kids...


Icy, tell ur little one to stay strong k? All our little angels in heaven are watching over her.
 


hi ladies,

my mum in law gets someone to come into our house to see feng shui... the shui fu get our ba zi and measure a lot of things in our house, directions.... and he's going to do report for us to change our luck.... dunno whether it will work this time or not.... but try lor... for bb sake...... and overall well being...
he's going to give us a report soon.... haha... dunno that nowadays fengshui shi fu so pro one....
but i think its not cheap to engage him...but my MIL paying for him.. we can't afford it...

i'm still waiting patiently for my 1st AF to come.... 2 cycles like very slow like that.....................................................................................................................
 
eunice, i have learnt to live with mother in law's ramblings. it's really part of life.. even if she dun remind me, i'll be reminded by the bbies i see everywhere. In fact, i pity my mother in law. she took the loss harder than i did. she and my father in law grieved silently so much during that time it broke my heart. Though i was sad, in fact, i could still live with the tragedy, but for them at their age, i know how much they long for grandchildren for them to enjoy their ageing years. i wonder if we can see things this way and have a happier relationship with them?

since the last incident, my in laws are very kind not to try to talk about it. even when my sis in law delivered, they try not to talk unless i bring it up, which i always try to, cos i like to see the smile on their face when they talk about their "wai sun". I no longer feel sad about the last incident, or even if we really fated to have no children even after we try all kinds of technology. To me, that is something beyond my control already. When i think this way, i am not stressed and am actually more relaxed about ttc! maybe that's how we conceived this time round?

dun be so hard on yourselves k? but pls also dun give up trying anything that we believe in.

as for how to get the hubby motivated, i would do the countdown with hubby. keep reminding him that we need to ttc in how many day's time so that we dun need to fight over it last min.

Roxyz, congrats on the + on the opk! gear up! Like you, my tummy cramps were very bad near to AF time before dnc. Ater dnc, i had no tummy cramps at all but the cramps happened in the pelvic area during ovulation(i believe it was the ovary lah). This was much easier for me to guess the ttc timing on top of my charting and opk testings. so, it may be a good sign afterall!
 
applemuffin, i'm reading about flying stars feng shui; if discover anything will share with you here.
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my hubby also, tcm asked him to sleep early but he's always up till at least 2am downloading rubbish online. some more can complain tired and ask me to buy eye mask for his panda eyes.

roxyz, keep doing it, keep doing it!!!
 
roxyz, understand fully. if my 2nd preggie still ok, i would have given birth this month. I guess it is all fated..

kitmum, i also feel the same way..i have finished my 2nd AF, now waiting for 3rd one...seems so long.....but again, good to wait and bu our health for a healthy bb
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patience is the key word...i guess when we are all finally preggie, we would thnk it is worth the waiting! sounds like a robinson sales tagline...haha!

xuanting, pls do share. i am only into the fengshui abt attracting more bb luck...other than that, i am not doing much. btw, kitmum, how much does your fengshui master cost? is he famous?
 
Never give up .... **Frog Story**
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

<font color="119911">There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.</font>

<font color="ff0000">A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say.</font>

<font color="0000ff">Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words....it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times.</font>

<font color="aa00aa">Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another. Be special to others.</font>
 
Thanks Xbliss and xuating. We didnt do it last night.. too tired liao :p Anyway my BBT has rise for 2 days already (ydae and today)so even if BD ydae also wouldn't help, I guess


Hi apple.... Stay strong and continue trying k? My 1st 3 cycles were rollercoaster rides and super straining on my emotions, esp since I heard people are more fertile in 1st 3 mths after m/c. Feel so sad each time never strike.

What we can do now is to be more strong and take better care of ourselves. On hindsight, when I got pregnant the other time, I was having a bad cough and lotsa antibotics were coursing through my body. Perhaps that's why I lost the bb.


Just read a website that says that if your implantation is later than normal, your chances of m/c are higher. Seems quite true ah...


Btw, can I continue taking bai foong wan? Coz O just took place and by right not supposed to take bai foong wan when pregnant.


Who else is in 2ww? Let's share any symptons we have
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Applemuffin,
Fengshui cost will depends what type of house you are staying. Bigger houses you stay more expensive will be. I engaged one few months back. Famous one. But he said that result for wanting a BB will be 40%. For career and luck will be 80% to 90%. So far, see career and luck improving only. BB - still waiting to come ba.
 
roxyz,
think better not take anymore bai fong wan or other pills...cos u are not sure whether it will affect.

dont worry too much abt 2WW...who knows u already strike! just keep monitoring yr bbt..high temp is good. i can only wait patiently for 3rd AF...hubby is not keen to try now cos we lost our 3rd bb (conceive 2 mths after 2 MC)...

angelbee,
i stay HDB only
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so should be cheaper rite?
why only 40%?? so discouraging...sigh...
 
after my 3rd cycle and thought can ttc this round. but experience the same thing after my 2nd cycle. did not get a rise in temp plus did not test +ve using the o kit. was also told should be most fertile after mc and many succeeded shortly after dnc. But seems that my cycle is haywire. seems to be i did not o....already observed in my 3rd cycle that i did not o as breasts were not sore etc. actually not sure how many days is my cycle already.

also did not bu or tcm during this period cos been ill so dare not try to bu except multi vit from gynae. maybe need to go back to gynae if this round not successful.

pity my hubby cos he is co-operative yet is me....the mc we were told likely is my egg. now seems my body is not ready even after 3rd cycle.

for those using the o kit, when did you start to test? from kit, 28 cycles, test on day 10 onwards. but any case need to know what is my "new" cycle now before i can gauge
 
roxyz, i think during the 2ww, it's best to just behave as if you already pregnant ba. avoid all the no-no food and don't do anything strenuous.

i wish i can ttc soon too, but tcm practitioner said i'm still not ready. there's a small improvement and i'm finally allowed to eat certain fruits liao, but i really miss being able to eat freely. i don't know how long more i can tahan but at the same time want to control so that i can give it my best shot.

hi eunice72, i think it's best to see a doc, whether gynae or tcm practitioner soon cos it'll take time to diagnose and adjust back your cycle.
 
eunice, can start testing with OPK on Day10. Maybe u O earlier? or much much later? Usually when u O, the temp should dip and rise again.

xuanting, u r so disciplined.
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i am trying to lose weight, lost 2 kgs when i weigh myself..
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but need to lose 3 more kgs..hard to resist fries, carbo etc...but for ttc sake, must endure...
what are the types of fruits u cannot eat? i dont eat watermelon, *liang* fruits. Others i still eat...sometimes i also eat ice-cream..hee..
 
applemuffin, i was not that disciplined in the beginning... kena caught twice when tcm sinseh checked my pulse he could actually tell that i had been eating lots of cookies (ate one whole tin by myself; just couldn't stop) and some spicy stuff.

in the beginning he said no fruits at all, after that was cooked apple and cooked papaya only. now can eat red apple, hawaiian papaya, dragonfruit (red flesh only), cherries, small and very ripe bananas and cantaloupe (orange flesh) only these. i have several deficiencies and imbalances so there are lots lots lots of things i can't eat. no liang2 things but no heaty things either. can only eat boring things like cooked veg and small amount of meat. basically fried, baked and grilled stuff all cannot and most tidbits are out. cold and raw stuff also cannot cos i got damp heat (heaty symptoms but not true heat).

applemuffin, i think it's right that you avoid liang2 fruits (make the uterus cold). i read from a tcm fertility book that liang2 food include mangoes, pears, persimmons, cucumbers, lettuce, celery and spinach. apparently, it is also wise to avoid drinking lots of fluids with meals to encourage more thorough chewing of food (saliva is alkaline; alkaline environment promotes fertility).

jialat, i'm feeling hungry again...
 
Hi ladies,

I have seen my tcm today... and she checked my pulse and said that i got a lot of "feng", tat's why my shoulder area is very sore.....
she ask me to keep warm all the time, meaning have to wear cardigan or scarf ard my shoulder area all the time... and have to wear long sleeve and pants..and even socks to sleep!!!!!!!! sigh.... but for the sake of my body.... got to follow her order................

she said basically singaporean's body condition is not good.... tat's why a lot more ppl miscarriage at young age (we do not have cold weather to counter that).....and we take a lot of cold stuff too........ so this will affact our body condition.... so i guess wat she said might be true...

so u gals got to take note too... KEEP WRAM ALL THE TIME... and happy ttcing!
 
Hey Gals

My 2nd AF is here liao!! i feel abit giddy and tired, and some pms too!! but am glad that it came!! now i jus got to wait for 1 more AF then i can TTC liao!!

anyone knows if during AF can drink DOM?
 
kit mum, i bought the 2 digit thermometer at unity pharmacy. There's 2 kinds, normal one and the one with alarm clock. I go the normal one and wished i got the one with alarm clock instead.. more convenient and helps me to be disciplined.
 
Hi all

I'm new to this thread. Just had a D&C on Friday due to blighted ovum (empty sac @ 8 weeks). After my D&C, had heavy bleeding on day 1 but after that, no more bleeding. Only very very light spotting...in fact, day 2 had no bleeding at all. Is this normal? I was told by my gynae that I shld have bleeding for 1-2 weeks.
 
Kit Mum, yes, u take the moment the alarm rings. Don't even think about going to toilet or stretching. Just pop the thermometer into your mouth and stay still!

AQ, sorry to hear about your loss. I think the bleeding was like that for mine. It resumed more heavily after a while. In the mean time, do a mini confinement.
 
xbliss:
Thanks. what do you do during the mini confinement? My mom insists tat I drink the longan water every day. And oddly, I feel cold easily even though its so hot nowadays! So MIL cooked tang gui soup for me to drink.
 
AQ, sorry abt ur lost too... do take care... keep warm all the time... if possible, wear long sleeve, long pants to sleep..... tat's wat my tcm say... dun let the wind go inside our body...

xbliss, thanks for the info... will go look ard for the thermometer first!
 
AQ,

u can refer to our previous post abt the mini confinement..ya u haveto drink reddate with longan and dang shen every day for a month.but dang gui only can drink after a week after dnc. Take care and rem to rest well and bath with herbal water, and dont bath too late.
 
kit_mum2b, do you sleep with the aircon on? can be quite hot and stuffy with the long pants, long sleeves and socks without aircon. i'm also quite scared of cold but for me it's always been like that.

hi aq, please take especially good care of yourself the next few weeks. do you need to go back to your gynae for review?
 
hi all,

hmm, i didn't know confinement for m/c also needs a few weeks. Thought 1 mth confinement only applies to post delivery. I was just telling myself I'll stay at home with long sleeve and pants only for 3 days. Anyway, I only got 2 days MC, plus the weekend, so only 4 days to rest at home. So no luxury of "confinement" for me. How many days did your gynae gave u (for thsoe who had d&c)? My fren got 1 week, another one I heard its 2 weeks but my gynae says 2 days MC enough!

xuanting:
yes, gynae review in 2 weeks. Heard that after 2 cycles, then can try for baby again but honestly, I don't know. I really don't want to go thru this agony again. Ever since I had slight bleeding at abt 6 weeks n gynae told me the bad news, every day was an agony. I was even too scared to go to the toilet cos i didn't want to see if there's blood! After 2 weeks of waiting and scanning 3 times, I just decided on a D&C. Gynae did say I could wait for a natural m/c though, but i'm heard that's worse.
 
AQ,
i got 2 weeks mc... and gynae review my case, and said that i can try again the next cycle... but i have doubt myself... so will wait 2 more cycles before i try again..
 
hey aq, don't fret over the ttc if you don't feel emotionally ready yet. let your mind rest for a while before you think about it ba. the mc for m/c seems to vary with individual gynae. i've heard friends getting from 2 days to 2 weeks also. i think it's mainly for the patient to get some rest plus some quiet time to compose herself.

remember to rest as much as you can and don't exert yourself the next few days ok. hugs.
 
Hi,

if u gals feel mc not enough and u still need a few more days to rest before going back to work then ask your hubby to get it from yr gynae. They'll give as no reasons for them not to give.
 
irene, cannot drink DOM during AF, it cause more AF. I tested and trial before
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kitmom, u can get the brand OMRON (for Basal Body temp charting). Watson or guardian sell it..
 
Aq, if you have to go back to work after 3 days, do wear pants n cardigan cos the office aircon can be cold and not so good for you. If possible, try to bath alternate days and with herbal water cos it can "remove" wind and keep u warm. Good to take red date/longan water, ginger and dang gui & DOM ..but for dang gui/DOM (after 1 week) cos it will cause bleeding. take care of yourself..
 
xuanting, can ask yr TCm if we can take lotus roots? watercress?
Looks like there are alot of stuff cant take...i also avoid cucumber, lettuce..
sometimes i think i bu too much, get headache yesterday..
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applemuffin (applemuffin),
lotus roots and watercress are liang fd, so have to avoid.be careful when u dining outside, fd like "ban mian,soup type, thesoup may made from "xi ge", waterchesnut, so don eat..
 
Thanks apple & kit_mum2b! my AF finishing soon, will drink again after i clear. m beginning to like DOM after a while.. also, how much did u buy the thermometre? I think i need one too..

apple, i can still take the longan/ red date water now right? cos i been having headache for no reason, i suspect its wind... also, during AF can take? also, do u know roughly the price for the omron thermometre?

Hi AQ, my gynae initially gave me 4 days MC, but i went back to work earlier, but later, i realised i needed more rest as i was quite depresed, so my gynae gave me another week, allow yourself time, ask for it if nec... some DOM be4 bed would help u to feel warmer.. warm bath is good too, and try to hv your bath earlier in the evening, not too late... k? take care..

xuanting, i also afraid of cold, I hv this thing tat looks like a cushion, but can plug to socket and it becomes warm. its actually works like a heat pad for TCM purpose, i put it at the back of my office chair, so that i hv warmth in my back. sometimes i put it on my lap when i feel my legs cold.. mayb u can try...
 
AQ,
Hugs. Nothing said can ease the pain there..

Try to have a good confinement at least for 2 weeks. I only had like 5 days MC, but i watched my diet when I am in office. Its very important.. because can really feel the difference of ur health when u did a good one or a simple one. I was quite bo chap on my first one, turned out to have night blindess, giddy, easily tired. 2nd one, i try to make simple tonic for myself every week, even after 2 mths.. it makes me feel stronger.

irene,
cannot have dom, because inside have this dang gui which "Pu xue" which means during AF becomes more AF. Ginseng also can cause extra blood flow during AF.
 
AQ,
am in the same shoes as you... just done my D&C last Tues due to blighted ovum too!
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my gynae give me 4 days MC. just back to work today. My bleeding after D&C also same as yours... heavy on Day 1, Day 2 almost stopped... till now still having spotting only.
 
irene, after AF finishes u can take red date/longan. but best to let AF finish for 2-3 days before taking. I took one day after AF, the next day, AF comes back again! The price of omron thermometer is abt $13+++ u can check out their website.

i tried drinking DOM before bedtime, cant sleep whole nite...dunno y...maybe too hot??

piggymom, didnt know ban mian soup cannot drink. so what are the hawker/food court food that are "safe" to eat? I have been taking herbal soup and think too heaty...headache. can drink milo? i know tea/coffee cannot. can take bai feng wan and drink dom at nite?
 
irene, after AF finishes u can take red date/longan. but best to let AF finish for 2-3 days before taking. I took one day after AF, the next day, AF comes back again! The price of omron thermometer is abt $13+++ u can check out their website.

i tried drinking DOM before bedtime, cant sleep whole nite...dunno y...maybe too hot??

piggymom, didnt know ban mian soup cannot drink. so what are the hawker/food court food that are "safe" to eat? I have been taking herbal soup and think too heaty...headache. can drink milo? i know tea/coffee cannot. can take bai feng wan and drink dom at nite?
 
hi applemuffin, like what piggy_mummy said, lotus root and water cress are liang2 (in fact very liang2).

share something with you guys i heard that even if you have sore throat, zits, mouth ulcers etc, taking liang2 things may not be advisable. this is cos some people can be out of balance on top and below, ie upper half of body fa1 re4 (heaty) but lower part of body is too liang2. if take liang2 things to help with the sore throat etc, can actually make the lower body (esp the uterus) very weak and cold. complicated hor.

irene, where can i get the cushion? your migraine is ongoing or worse just before your period? from what i read about tcm, migraines just before periods are an indication of liver imbalance. if that's the case, then you have to avoid alcohol. i think it's best that you check with your tcm practitioner when you see him again.
 
applemuffin,
my gynae did explained to me that during the fertilization, cells multiplied... somehow the part where foetus supposed to be formed is not there! she said it's not due to any gene problem or whatever... just 1 time bad luck!

after D&C, this has no effect on the next pregnancy.
 
for my case, i tested postive and went to gynae for confirmation ard 6-7 week. no bleeding or spotting.

during V scan, gynae told me it's not very good coz she only see a very big yolk and no foetus. based on the dates and the fact i've tested positive hence cant be too early stage. but anyway, she asked me to go back to her in 1 weeks' time hoping we see something then.

1 week later, same result. and scan showed the yolk kinda of collapsed already. this is bad already. she told me she can confirmed that it's a blighted ovum.
sad.gif
 
mspiggy, it's always a shock when it happens to you. So many of us have gone through it, and sometimes the worry lives on. But like what the others say, take care of yourself first and one day you can too have the fruits of your labor. Me currently 3 mths pregnant, conceived 4 mths after dnc. I do hope this pregnancy works out fine and wish you luck when you do try again! the key is not to give up!
 
xbliss,
all the best...these 9 mths will be smooth sailing!

this is actually my 2nd 'pregnancy'. my 1st has just turned 1 YO.
 
i envy those mommies who has already 1 or more bbs...i am still trying for 1...after 3 failed attempts..losing a bit of hope....and scare to try again...

how to be sure our bodies is ready to try again after a D&C?
 
hi apple...
Now it's 7dpo but nothing special... BBT seems normal also 36.6 range, now praying it dun dip but too early to tell... Can't help but raise hopes but also scared to... in case nothing happens, at least will not feel so sad.


Hi xuanting
I didnt know that so many fruits are so liang! Thanks for sharing. Most of the time I seldom eat fruits or only eat papayas and carrot juice


Hi eunice
Pls do not feel sad k? I was same situation like u... first 3 cycles haywire, weird cycle days and no O at all. Only at my 4th cycle then I test +ve on OPK and AF more regulr, so dun give up!!


I also bought Omron thermometer abt $19.50 from either Guardian/Watsons. Request for BBT that will show 2 decimal places....
 


roxyz, 36.6 is a good temp
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keep praying for good high temp daily...

i usually eat apple, honeydew and papaya. sometimes i do eat ice-cream, grapefruit juice and milk (cold)...i try to leave it at room temp before drinking...is that ok?

i got a feeling i am not ovulating this cycle, no mucus, no sore breast..there is even some brown discharge..
 
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