Support group - Miscarriages

[cafe]

sorry for inter-ruption.
piggymummy: dont worry abt retroverted uterus. i also found out I have retroverted uterus wen i did my HSG after my miscarriage in Y2005. I conceive immediately after resting for 3 cycle & given birth to my daughter in Mar 2006. Currently I am expecting my no. 2 that will be due in Dec this year

cheers
bbtree

 

[linda_thea]

Hi mummies
I started this thread in year 2003 when I had my first m/c. Now, 2007, I am having my second m/c. Sign... Looks like me and hb's genes really no good, both cases also missed abortions (meaning the pregnancy terminates itself).

But nevertheless, there is always hope out there as I thank God for my little girl who is 3 this year. Just feeling sorry tt I won't be giving her a sibling for Christmas this year (pregnancy EDD supposed to be in Dec), and that scary feeling of going to lie on the table with my legs in stir-ups again...

And worst part, because it is my second m/c, I feel "compelled" to feel less for it... Or I feel tt people expected me not to feel as bad... Hubby esp. True tt I may not be as emotionally affected, cos I prepared myself mentally when I first saw blood... But now reality sinked in, I felt very suay lor.

Sorry girls, just needed some venting space. D&C scheduled for tomorrow.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi mummies
I started this thread in year 2003 when I had my first m/c. Now, 2007, I am having my second m/c. Sign... Looks like me and hb's genes really no good, both cases also missed abortions (meaning the pregnancy terminates itself).

But nevertheless, there is always hope out there as I thank God for my little girl who is 3 this year. Just feeling sorry tt I won't be giving her a sibling for Christmas this year (pregnancy EDD supposed to be in Dec), and that scary feeling of going to lie on the table with my legs in stir-ups again...

And worst part, because it is my second m/c, I feel "compelled" to feel less for it... Or I feel tt people expected me not to feel as bad... Hubby esp. True tt I may not be as emotionally affected, cos I prepared myself mentally when I first saw blood... But now reality sinked in, I felt very suay lor.

Sorry girls, just needed some venting space. D&C scheduled for tomorrow.

 

[linda_thea]

Oops, btw, just an advise. After D&C, best to rest for at least 3 days, avoid walking too much, carrying heavy load ie drying clothes on poles out, and keep warm. I carried my niece after d&c for my first one, then went home, bleed more and experienced cramps. Before tt was alright.

Food wise - if possible, stick to confinement food meaning with lots of ginger and wine. Avoid cooling food too.

I feel that confinement in this sense helps to build our body... I was not as scared of cold as before after my confinement... And my mum's nagging that my m/c could be due to weaker body after I didn't do confinement well enough after my girl. Maybe it does make sense.

 

[roxyz]

hi linda
sorry to hear about it. Your bb girl is very healthy and Im sure you will no problem conceiving another one to accompany her.

Thanks for setting up this thread... gives us all space to share our feelings and worries

 

[angelmum]

New add in .... all the ladies here, we have to be strong. Our feelings of losing our unborn is something nobody in yr family (incl hubby cos we are carrying the unborn) can understand unless they have been thru. Crying is something I couldn't avoid, just trying to explain (speak up) already caused tears to flow.

Forgot to say, I had 2 D&C - a misabortion, no heartbeat @8wks then an abortion at 13wks cos foetus abnormal.

Going thru is already so difficult/sad yet some ppl still asked what u hv done during pregnancy thus resulted in this, hv u eaten anything wrong, ... 1st D&C - since already no heartbeat, I didn't feel like 'killing' but the 2nd had heartbeat so I really couldn't cross the line to reach a 'let go stage'. Since, nobody had been thru, it's so hard to share/open up my TRUE feelings (hv not discovered this forum), I rang support line but they wasn't able to comfort me so I wrote diaries ... forced myself to 'explain' to ppl what happened till I got used to it (no more tears, became just a story).

Deep down, I still feel bad (07/2004). Although doc said the foetus wont survive till full-term but the thot of 'killing' is an unchanged fact.

Aft reading this thread, I'm glad to say, at least other ppl going thru a child lost has a place to share/pour out. It's great to exchange true feelings with ppl who had similiar experience - not isolated/helpless any more!

 

[bab1es]

hi linda,
sorry to hear abt ur m/c. But u still have a blessing i.e. ur DD. and thus, have to be thankful for that. I believe u just need to wait a little longer for ur 2nd blessing to come

take care of urself ya after ur d&c tmr. *hugz*

hi Strawberry,
am sorry to hear abt ur m/c too. As u said all of us here have gone thru the pain n sorrow. So feel free to pour out here. We all totally understand. Remember to do a mini-confinement and rest more.

 

[applemuffin]

it helps to cry it out. i did...cried my lungs out..almost..felt better after...like all the compressed emotions n tears are flushed out. sometimes if helps to talk to ppl who had gone thru mc...but each case is unique...no one will truly understand how we feel in us except ourselves. Sometimes when i think of those times we sang to our bb, prayed, talked...then tears start to roll...i have this crazy thot whenever butterfly or moth flies into our house...i wonder if they are my babies in disguise..silly rite!

i dont think we have to answer to anybody as to why our mcs happened...one colleague of mine kept asking me when i returned to work...i told her i did a nose & boob jobs! That put her off..mean of me i know...but what good use if i had told her about what happened? there is nothing more or better she could have done for me..after all these experiences, i learnt never ask a couple why no baby? never ask a sick person what he/she is suffering from....sometimes a little pat on the back or a simple "welcome back" is good enough...

mc are painful process...but i believe we women have strong trashhold for pain...and despite 3 mcs in a year...i am still willing to try...but only at the right time i guess...

thanks ladies for listening and the founder of this thread...it is a great outlet for me

 

[dwbhappy]

HI Linda...

thanks for setting up this thread... i just had my DnC 3 weeks ago and it was my second. I had 1 abortion more than 10 yrs ago... going thru it again this time, does not make me feel any less sad... it is a different kind of sadness, but i dun feel any less of it...

I guess .. be it the first, second or third experience... as a mother or mother-to-be, it could still be seen as a loss and there would be emotions and feelings about it... I hope u would allow yourself to take time to feel it.. and manage and eventually cope with it.. with love.. most importantly... jus think about your 3 yo gal... and think about how life is sweet with her... some of us here are still waiting for our chances... do take care...

 

[bbchic]

linda,
sorry to hear that...dun worry la..still young can always give your gal "present" next yr..can understand the "fear" of going through D&C again..pls take care n rest well...remember MC happens 30% of the time..(according to my gynae)..so dun blame yourself..think we all heard of ladies wif 2 or 3 MC..so dun give up!!

 

[dwbhappy]

HI apple_muffin

hope u would take care... and look forward... get well soon... HUGZ

 

[dwbhappy]

Hi Strawberry

just wana share this, not sure if it would be helpful for u...

before i went for my DnC, I felt that I could not bring myself to do it, cos i could not imagine what would happen to my 12 week old foetus... i could see its heart beating and jumping during scans... i cried endlessly..

then my friend shared with me that: this body that my baby would be in, is not suitable for him (i was expecting a boy, and he was tested to be having DS after I had several scans and cvs), and that i would have to let it go and he would definitely find a better body so that he could live his life to the fullest... (i m tearing as i m typing this...)

I am not sure how true this can be, but i gave it some thought, and I felt a little better after hearing it.. i hope it does something for u too..

hugz

 

[applemuffin]

irene *hugs*
i truly understand u..my 2nd mc was at week13..i could see the head, body form..very painful to let it go..i shut myself out for 3 days before the D&C, refuse to let go..i console myself that my 3 babies are in better place now and one day i will be reunited with them again.

 

[dwbhappy]

thanks apple_muffin... really appreciate it... hope u r feeling better too...

 

[etsbaby]

Hi! Strawberry/Irene/Linda,

Maybe it's just god's will, sometimes when I saw a DS or abnormal girl, I would think of my lost one and guess I wouldnt be able to take it mental and physically if she ever were to survive to be with me.

For the whole period from the time she was detected to have cystic hygroma at 10 weeks till the end when the gynae tell me that her heartbeat had stopped, I cried over and over again. I even pinned on silly hopes as the CVS test shows that the chromosone are fine. But when the details scan shows clearly all the defects that she will not even survive. Eventually, my little girl heartbeat stopped at 23 weeks, and even when she was born with her eyes closed she looked like a rugby ball and could not even lie flat on her back. My memories of her is only her side view as I didn't have the courage to carry her at time of birth. I had induced labour like normal delivery and followed by D&C as I was already 24 weeks preg then. That was the darkest period in my life but I braved on as I have to for my 1st child who still needs me. It will always be a memory and no one will ever replace her. At times, I would thot of how she is doing now in heaven or where.

My 1st pregnancy was smooth like normal and I would never have expected such things to happen to me as I thot me and my hubby were healthy since our 1st boy is healthy. But having experience this missed abortion, really dawn upon me to treasure things around you and never take things for granted. And dunno why, suddenly all the people around me are pregnant, from friends to colleague to even neighbours are all pregnant and yet I have to show that I am happy for them but inside me, I was sad and jealous and at times, couldnt wait to get preg again but fearful of getting preg also as history might repeat itself.

It has been more than 2 mths, I am waiting for my AF cycles to go back to normal before I can TTC again as really want to give a sibling to my boy.

No one will understand the trauma, depression and the emptiness except for those who have gone thru this before. I am really thankful to have this space to vent it all out here when I was really down.

Hope all of us will have good news very soon.

 

[hamasaki]

I'm so sorry to hear of all ur losses.. The pain of losing ur dear babies are too hard to swallow which i can understand as I had a m/c be4.. I do hope time can lessen ur pain and may u all have the courage to move on agan for ur future healthy babies.. God Bless....

 

[piggy_mummy]

i think this is a gd place for us throw out everthing..But evertime when i visit this thread and c newbiee here, i am very sad..Y so many MC happen..

I cant control myself n cry when i read those mc experience..Hope all of us can move on and take care our body before try again..

 

[angelmum]

I'm a newbi to this thread but last mc happened 2.5yrs ago, thus already did mini confinement ... seemed so long! Ppl say time is the best medicine for healing, u believe? Deep down, I still remember I was 'supposed' to hv another child ... I consoled myself that I need not receive another special child into the hse. On the other hand wonder whether the unborn had really gone to a better place.

Ever read a story of a aborted child who didn't want to leave the mummy so was growing day by day n hanging on the mum's neck. Mum only felt neck heavy n sore, c doc also cant cure until one day, her hubby said, 'yr child with blue eyes is too big to hang on yr neck, get him a walker!' The aborted child was a result of the woman's 1 nite stand ... just a story but makes my imagination running.

During 7th mth, I tend to wonder whether the unborn came to collect $ or c us ... LET GO, i know, letting go will make me live better but so hard.

Although my hubby had arranged caoDU for the unborn but miss my unborn. Since both MC passed so long (the 2nd mc still lingers, 1st mc sort of got over), wanna cry also must hid under blankets coz ppl thot its history.

Ni shi wo xiong kou yong yuan de tong

 

[xbliss]

hi ladies, you gals are making me sob again. I'm currently in early trimester with the second and i can't help but feel that it does not at all fill up the gap left behind by the first. A month ago before i conceived this current one, i had to start a blog in memory of my dear angel. it took me 4 months after dnc before i had courage to face the incident and for the first time, feel good for my angel who is watching me from above. Nonetheless, nothing can fill that void he created.

I'm also worried sick and pessimistic about this pregnancy. instead of being happy and looking forward, i have to prepare myself mentally for what i would do if the situation is bad again, just so i can be more emotionally stable if it really happens. It's annoying when the ppl around me just keep telling me to stay positive. I know. But how to? You tell me. Pregnancy is such a joke.. that small little thing in the uterus makes all that difference in the world. i know they mean well, but i wish they can stop being naive and insensitive.. sorry for ranting.

In any case, i do hope this gives hope to all ttc-ing after a loss. I tried 4 months after dnc and got it on first try. though i dunno what the ultimate outcome would be, what i know is there is still hope. dun give up. press on.

 

[roxyz]

hi ladies
Everyone's case here is different but all yet equally sad. Dun worry abt everyone's bb, Im sure they are all in heaven leading a better life than they would on earth. For most of us, the foetus was either abnormal, hence heartbeat stopped or having ds or some defect. They are all in heaven now having a perfect body, a better life than on earth with the imperfect bodies. Angels must be so busy with all the diapers changing in heaven.

Just now hubby was with me when i was surfing and i showed him our postings to make him understand what we are going through.


xbliss, i know this is hard, but stay positive k? Coz this will affect bb. BB is in the womb and will know what mummy is tinking. But I know wat u mean, if i get pregnant again i will prob be happy yet sad and scared also.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi mummies
I went for d&c today. Ok emotionally after crying it out at the doc after the ops. Now trying to be good girl and do mini confinement at home. Also bathing with ginger and keeping warm. Bleeding is considerably lesser than my first m/c. reckon gynae did a good job in cleaning up inside. But he also told me to only TTC after 2 cycles unlike my gynae in my previous m/c. think this time round really must listen to him... I feel tt since this is my "third" pregnancy and third "tramatizing" the womb, I better be good and build up the health. Other than dang gui, what else can I take after bleeding stops?

Hi strawberry
I read an article in the U magazine today by a fortune teller. It says tt in events of the pregnancy terminating itself ie misabortions, the chinese believe the spirit ended itself. No need to feel bad or even chao du cos we did not choose it.
For those elective d&cs due to medical reasons, to ease the pain, he recommends chao du and explaining your reasons.
no one wants to terminate a preg purposely, but life doesnt allow such choices mostly.

hi xbliss
congrats on your little one. I understand on trying after a loss. It is worrying, stressful and emotionally straining. NO ONE can understand what goes thru your mind, even our hubbies.
How I dealt with it, though not very advisable and fair to baby but worked for me, was to ignore the fact tt I am pregnant till it stablised. I still took care of myself, in terms of food intake, medications etc. But I didnt alow myself to feel attached to it until the gynae said all organs developed healthy. Only then I began the routine of talking to it which I started the day I knew I was pregnant in my first miscarriage. HB thinks I am mad. But it was my own way of coping. And no one shld tell you what to do or how to behave. Do what you believe in.

To give you hope, my girl (whom I so "cruelly" ignored intially) is already 3+ now.

 

[roxyz]

Hi Linda
Hope you are feeling ok after your dnc. Remember to keep warm and take care of yourself. Bathe with the herbal water and avoid getting cold


hi ladies
Need some help here on BBT charting. Most of the time I'm woken up by hubby at 7am then I lie half awake half sleeping in bed till 730 then I get up and I take my BBT. Should I take it the moment I'm half awake ie 7am or 730 is ok? Not sure which is more accurate.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi roxyz
thanks. I am trying to be a good girl lor.

I understand tt BBT shld be taken at SAME time everyday. So both timing is ok as long as taken same daily. But I reckon the min u wake is better cos not affectedby change in room temp?

 

[applemuffin]

hi irene, thanks..i am coping alrite though at times i still burst out in tears. think the pain still lingers but everyday routine keeps me busy...fear, confusion, tears, pain only set in when its nite and all quiet..but i am coping slowly..

hi roxyz, taking BBT is the best and most accurate way of tracking...for my case. It could tell me i am preggie before i even test it on a kit

u need to take yr temp the moment you wake up, just reach over for yr thermometer immediately. any major movement or walkabout or even sleep in will change yr body temp. hope its helpful

linda, i am taking dong cong cao (as advised by some ttc-sters here), dang gui, pao shen, chix essence, alot of gingers, red dates and DOM. Basically i just load my body with all the BU Pin i can find...i cant imagine how much damage 3 D&Cs can do to me...just a bit kiasu..

 

[piggy_mummy]

gals,
my fren suggest my HB go for sperm test, to c got any abnormal sperm to cause my MC.

do u all think if the sperm is abnormal, hw can i got pregnant??

may i know where can HB go for sperm test? any GP will do?
Hw long the report will out and how much? thanx.

xbliss,

congrat!!takecare n don think too much

 

[eunice72]

Hi all,

Been quietly reading all the posts on and off and understand every feelings and worries. I dun think anyone who has been thr mc can recover and let go fully. i know i can't but would keep the love for my unborn child deep down in my heart. To me letting go means getting on with life each day but the heartache would still there no matter what as I cannot pretend nothing has happened b4 but just to live each day and do what is necessary.

It has been 2 plus mths after my D&C and during this period, i went thru some "blocked out" period where I practically block my feelings to everything etc. Everyday would just passed by without much emotions...yet at times tears will just flow when i am reminded of the mc.

Just to share. Tried tcm a few times after my D&C though have stopped for a few weeks since as I am down with bad flu, so reckon better dun bu too much first. The sinseh actually told me not to take any dong chong chao cos its meant for the male hormones.

Think there's 2 sch of thoughts here cos my friend's tcm sinseh actually make her drink that throughout her pregnancy every week while the one i saw told me not to take at all and to eat less red meat say beef cos they are also more for male hormones. so might need to check out more...

now my gynae has given the green light for us to try again. on one hand i am eager to try one the other hand rather scare how it would turn out cos along my blood test and scan are all normal before the mc as well as after the d&c.

anyway to all of u here, do take good care as we persevere on...

 

[applemuffin]

piggymom, sperm analysis can be done by any lab, but it is usually recommended by gynea. ask yr gynea for recommendation letter to go for it. doesnt cost much $100++ usually 2-3 days, the report is ready..

 

[angelmum]

Linda: Eat bu but not too extreme. Eat things at moderate, eat a variety not just selected food/bu pin. Also some bu pin kind of heaty cos heard some confinement frend end up constipation, nose bleed, sore throat, etc ... see a yishi, if possible to determine what u lack of. I caodu coz the aborted child got heatbeat - still living but I killed (its a sin to me).

Roxyz: If I let my HB c what Im surfing, hell surely say y live in the past sskaly he stop me fm using internet ... so hide fm him if needed to cry ... anyway we separated rooms since my No2, an abnormal child was born 4yrs ago. From then on, I already kind of avoiding the S thing!

All the mc 'survivors': best wishes!
Factory close at my end ... 2 is enough!

 

[roxyz]

hi eunice
sorry to hear about ur loss. All of us here are blocking our feelings to some extent. Hope you are feeling better. My dnc was also done about 1.5mths ago. Cun help feeling envy whenever i see woman with big stomach.

hi linda and applemuffin
This is wat the other ladies told me when I asked them in the ttc thread. Tink I will try to be good gal and dun be so lazy to not take temperature when I wake up. My 1st AF after dnc lasted 5 days, now 2nd AF came already, only 2 weeks after the 1st and it's lasted me for 8days and still flowing!! Anyone had such heavy AF before? Now, duno if and when O will come coz AF is so long and heavy....

hi piggy mummy
My personal feel is that your hubby need not go for the test coz u actually got pregnant, no fertility problems at all. The most maybe doctor can detect is low sperm count?

hi strawberry
I'm sorry to hear about this. Prob tok to him will be better? For us also, the BD has lessened but coz I'm too tired after work, but hope that the lack in S thing will not affect your relationship

 

[angelmum]

Roxyz - still got S but the mood isn't there so to me is 'routine'/duty. Relationship can stil maintain if S is not the main focus. In life, there other so many things that need our attention ... I know S is a form of stress relieve, good 'exercise' but I the lack interest.

Aft MC, does anybody felt 'turn off', prefers lesser or no bodily contact'? Sensitive Question!

 

[dwbhappy]

Strawberry

the first time I had intimacy after DnC felt a little funny... i mean, everything happened "there"... u know what i mean... its not exactly a turn off, but jus a little "rejection" kind of feeling... as it reminded me of the moment the doc put in the pills to dilate the cervix... but after a while, i guess i kinda allow myself to relax, cos i know it was nobody's fault... hb was a little stressed too, cos he was afraid it might hurt me... i had to assure him that i was feeling fine, except i prefer it gentler..

my main worry is n unplanned pregnancy when my body is not ready yet...

other times, i prefer just cuddling and chatting... which we both enjoy.... i hope u would gv yourself time... not to force yrself if u dun feel ready... k?

 

[xuanting]

hi all, i just had a miscarriage too, at 5 wks. doc prescribed duphaston and advised bed rest, kiv again next week, but my bleeding is so heavy i know it's too late. bleeding is now even heavier than my usual periods with painful cramps.

i'm done with the crying and my mind is in a blank now. all i want to do is to keep looking for more info on why it happened and whether i can do anything to protect my future pregnancies. it's such a sad thing; sadder still when i read some of the brave but heart-breaking experiences some of us shared in the older posts. i hope we'll all press on and try to keep our spirits up. am really grateful for this thread.

 

[angtay]

Hi Piggy mummy,
FYI. My HB jus done a SA test at KKh and only cost $50+, recommended by my gynae. but 1 wk liao still have not heard from them. anyway. i hope my HB pass the test.

 

[ling76]

Hi all,
I am having mc now (mc means miscarriages? i think). Mine is at 7wks, now waiting for it to drop out as what my gynae had said. Doing blood tests now to determine whether is it mc or epotic pregancy. I am confused rite now. May i know how would it be like? I have slight bleeding (on off type between red and brown), but not enough to stain the whole pad. Will i have full menses soon? Today is my 2nd day of waiting. What should i do if it didn't come out and by when? Gynae said sometimes take weeks. Is it true? I am feeling extremely awful now cos have to deal with a loss and now have to wait for the loss to come out.

Please advise me. Thanks.

 

[linda_thea]

Mummies
Check with you. My bleeding after d&c is only a small gush of watery blood right after d&c then VERY light staining for 2 whole days. I dun even need a pad. It wasnt like this after my first d&c 3 years ago. I like to think my current gynae did a better job cleaning up my insides... anyone had the same experience?

And anyone thinking of TTC-ing again? Doc told me to wait for 2 regular cycle but then again, hehehe, I am not too keen to try yet lah. This pregnancy wasnt really planned.

Hi roxyz
I understand from gynae and american websites tt no one will know when O will come after d&c. Hence we are told to use protection after d&c if there is intercourse. Dun worry, as long as your AF is here, there is O. keep monitoring for a while and you shld go back to your normal cycle.

Hi strawberry
After my first d&c, we had intimacy abt few days after my bleeding stops. I didn't feel strange dunno abt hb though... but it is def not as relaxing as before d&c...

Sex btw couples is impt to me... although there will always be time when we feel it is our duty, but i try not to feel tt way. Then again, like you have mentioned, there are simply so many things in life to worry and fret over, hence not very often we have mood for sex.

Hi Eunice
Think it is normal for us to block out feelings for a while.. I find tt getting myself back to routine life helps... More things to occupy my mind instead of lying in bed and thinking... In fact, I am back to work now, but of course, my work is not stressful hence I dun really mind coming back.

I am taking red dates with longan water, and bathing with boiled ginger water as well as chicken of essence every morning. I even took to wearing socks to sleep at night. Keep myself warm lor to minimise the effects of d&c to my body.

Hi xuanting
Sorry to hear tt. Have you done your d&c? Remember to keep warm and try to eat some tonics after your bleeding stops.

In fact, if your pregnancy terminates itself ie bleeding heavily without any reason, there is nothing you could have done to help it. Like what I like to say and what my gynae confirmed, it is our body's very intelligent way to 'reject' pregnancies that is not going to develop. Quality control.

It could be due to a non-developing foetus, or a blighted ovum meaning the sperm meets the egg, a watersac develop without a embyro. Nothing you could have done to save it and nothing you have done to harm it... Nobody's fault actually. 20% of pregnancies does end up in m/c, more often than we think it is.

For our next pregnancies, all we can do is try to boost our health before TTC, eat our folic acid regularly, and pray for the best.

Do take care.

 

[etsbaby]

I have not resume intimacy yet as my AF has gone haywire so cant be sure when is O so better to be safe. We only plan to TTC after 6 mths although the doc says 3 mths cos previously, I had a laproscropy and D&C done for cyst removal then I got pregnant after 1 cycle so not sure if my baby got affected by this though the gynae say not possible.

Yep, we must really take care after D&C. As I had lost a lot of blood after delivery and D&C, I did confinement for full 1 mth after D&C but the more "bu" stuff like tang gui can only take 1-2weeks after D&C after bleeding stop.

Hi! roxyz,

dun worry, you are not the only one. I am also the same. my 1st AF is 31 days after D&C then 2.5 weeks later my 2nd AF and then another 2 weeks after my 3rd AF. and my 3rd lasted for 9 days.

 

[applemuffin]

my af hasnt report since D&C on 11 Apr. Is it normal to wait so long? I am worried again...dont wish for the previous episode to happen again......sigh......i just want a normal cycle to resume normal routine. Intimacy, bbs are not on my agenda... told hb not ready, n wont be for a while...lucky hb v understanding and didnt push anything.

 

[bab1es]

Dear Ladies,
wow, so many postings in these couple of days. Actually honestly i feel sad everytime i see got new postings, coz usually it means bad news. sigh, i would wish none of us ever have to post in here again...other than to share their success stories, that is.

My 2nd AF after my d&c has finally ended today. This time it wasn't as heavy as the 1st time but it still took abt 7 days to complete.
Anyway, hubby and i are planning to start TTCing this mth. Wish us luck ya.

applemuffin,
don't worry too much. My 1st AF came about 6weeks after my d&c. My gynae said it's normal. Also stress will make it delay more. So, just try to relax, don't think about it, and before u know it, it will report naturally

Go for a short trip. We went to Bintan recently for a short weekend getaway. It was nice n relaxing..we wished we could stay there longer. But hubby could not take leave.

 

[applemuffin]

Thanks Mulberry...i am gg away for a short trip next week too..hopefully the trip will relax me

Good luck on your ttc journey...hope u succeed this month

 

[bab1es]

thanks applemuffin

yes, good that u r going for nice short trip. Wish u n ur hubby have a lovely time there

 

[xbliss]

Ling76, what do you mean by doing blood test to determine if MC or ectopic? If ectopic should be able to find through scan right??

Is this your first visit to the doc and they couldn't find the sac?

I understand what you mean when we have to wait for the loss to go. In between finding out the problems and going through dnc, i also had about a few days time and i was just in total lost.. having it in me was suddenly such a huge burden.. moral burden cos i fed it and then had to kill it.

What did your gynae advise??? I actually cannot believe that your gynae asked you to wait.. most gynaes would ask for DNC to be done, if i understand correctly for most of the cases i have heard of. Maybe can get a second opinion???

 

[xuanting]

thanks, linda. i'm supposed to go back and see the doc next week. don't think a d&c will be required since i've been bleeding so much and still bleeding now.

i'm taking the longan and red date drink and also some ginger stuff. hope doc won't find any complications when i see him next week.

ling76, please take care of yourself during this difficult period. if you feel uneasy about the wait, then perhaps you should get a second opinion like xbliss says?

keep well and stay positive, everyone.

 

[xbliss]

applemuffin, my AF took about 5+ weeks too, so dun worry.

Do enjoy yourselves and have a relaxing holiday. Last year end, i went to bali and left all the unhappiness there.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Ling,
I hope you seeked a second opinion by now. NOT ALL staining result in miscarriages. Some bleed th'ru out their entire pregnancy and still have healthy babies. Pls see another doc, an ultrasound or vaginal scan can determine if pregnancy is in womb or etopic. An etopic is dangerous, pls seek help.

Honestly I actually felt better emotionally after the d&c then before it... It was like a closure to what was a guessing game, a "hopefully, maybe I can keep it" ordeal.

Hi xuanting
red dates can prolong bleeding. Do try to take them after bleeding stops.
Today a sharp pain came back, 10 mins after I carried my 3yr old out of bathtub, less than 5 seconds! Really leh, cannot even do tt for a while. Do take care.

And ladies,
anyone trying again soon?

 

[rest_relax_forever]

Hello ladies,

Its been a while since i last sign on. Somehow - not sure if i am too sensitive or what...i tend to see alot of preggie ladies around me. It's like suddenly, left and right also got colleague preggie, then relative also got this person give birth, that person due in dec kind of thing. Very depress hor... Hmmm. but luckily we still have this forum to share la. Let look on the positive side, this is one phase of our life. Let's jia you !

Linda, i am one of those ttcing. But i am on hormone jab for endo so have to wait till Jul then can start. I am eager to start but no choice got to finish hormone jab first.

Ling76, you may want to seek a 2nd opinion. I thought its better to go thru d&c soonest. Its a better clean up job and also emotionally, its a closure and allow you to recover and move on.

Anyone has experience to share how to boost husb quality of sperm ? Mine hb got poor sperm quality and gynea did gave him some pills to eat for 3 months. But i was thinking if there are anything else to help.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi rest
If you dun mind TCM, go to the pharmacy halls to see if there is any tonics to drink.

Does your hubby smoke? It will also affect sperm quality.

 

[rest_relax_forever]

Linda,
He does not smoke or drink. But got abit overweight lor.

 

[xuanting]

thanks, linda. my bleeding seems to be trailing off now.

i hope you're okay too. my friends have been advising me to get as much bed rest as possible after my m/c and i kept thinking it was so kua1 zhang1; but after talking to my mom and hearing from you guys here, i think i'd better be safe than sorry.

i would like to ttc as soon as i can, depending on what the doc says. think i will go to a tcm practitioner to tiao2 my body next week.

take care and rest well everyone!

 

[linda_thea]

Hi rest
I hope the next pregnancy will be smooth for you!

Hi xuanting,

Glad your bleeding is slowing down.

Old folks' tale quite true... I also feel tt better to be safe when it comes to health matters. Must really try to replenish our lost. Just sit around, lie down as much as possible. Walk slow.

I dunno if I will try again soon, after all, the last was kind of unplanned for... Maybe wait till year end bah.

 

[roxyz]

hi strawberry
Yes, S is not all impt but like wat linda said, intimacy does bring the couple closer together. but if u all have been cuddling or maintain physical contact without BD, it will still be good also cos at least physical contact is maintained


hi etsbaby
My situation same as urs. Yesterday I thot AF fully gone liao, but after BD, got blood come out. Same thing this morning. The blood seems to flow out after we BD but if we never BD, no blood flow at all. So weird... each time I see stain on my panties again, I feel like crying coz this is supposed to be my O period now, but how to O when blood still flowing? haiz..

hi linda
we are ttc-ing now. Now AF is supposedly 2 cycles already, but still very haywire, so I guess no good news this cycle also.Your bleeding is normal.. I had light bleeding for 1.5-2days also after dnc and stopped after that.

hi xuanting
I'm sorry to hear abt ur loss, please take good care of yourself and have a mini confinement done. Rem to bathe with herbal water

Hi ling
Like wat the rest says, pls go for a second opinion. Alot of pple bleed throughout the pregnancy but still carry baby successfully to full term. If bb is really gone, a dnc will be advisable coz it's a cleanup in case of infection and you can move on from there.
And if the gynae has been scanning you vaginally or through the stomach and the waterbag can be seen, this is not etopic pregnancy. Etopic pregnancy means the egg is at the fallopian tube, if you can see the waterbag when you scan, it means the pregnancy is in the womb and definitely not etopic.

hi mulberry
Good luck and jia you!!