Support group - Miscarriages

Mich,

Before ivf, we had to go thru this session to do paperwork.. You will be asked whether u allow them to use for experiments anot or to be disposed.. They have to follow ur wishes, all in black n white..

Regarding medisave claim, i used my enhanced incomeshield plan to pay for my hospital stay..

Celestine,

For day 2 & 7, it's just blood tests, no need to see doc right? If possible, maybe u can just take a morning off to get the blood tests done?

I understand ur dilemma abt quitting job.. I was a little annoyed just now.. My hubby msged thru family gp watsapp that we won't be going for dinner tmr cos his colleague promoted to vp, and they're all going out for dinner.. His mum's reply was 'oh not ur turn yet? Ok'.. I was like so irritated.. I always feel sorry towards my hubby cos i'm not grad and my pay is not high.. Although my hubby doing pretty well as hod, i know i'm not earning enough and we can't stay in condo and drive big branded car like his bro.. His bro is bank vp and wife is bank avp.. Now so fast already got bb and she's older than me.. I feel so sorry towards my hubby.. Now still quit my job for ttc cos so hard to have bb..

Sorry ah, end up ranting after seeing my mil's msg.. You don't worry about ur tests yet k.. Cos nothing is for certain yet..
 


Min81
I can understand your gancheong-ness… because when you say you testing tomorrow, I felt gancheong for you too.. as if I am the one testing !!
Please please sleep early tonight ok… let your body have full rest before you test.

Celest
My best friend-cum-colleague also ask me to quit my job because of my m/c…. She say for our job, its really hard to tahan stress + pregnancy at the same time…
But In SG, how to survive without job…. My hb is not earning a lot …. And if I need to buy Supplements, TCM medicine, and Ensure milk, Nuts and Seeds, I need job and money !!!

Please Don’t feel bad.
It takes two hands to make a clap. Its Mutual effort for both Hb and Wife.
Fate with the child is also very important.
I believe we all have fate with our children, we just need to wait patiently.
Talking about Sleeping early, I am guilty too… Lately I started to sleep even later than before….
I must Change myself from tonight onwards.

Mich
I believe it is the food that We eat.
With Pesticides and Some unknown chemical That were sprayed into the Crops to make the Plant Grow bigger and faster.
And Some Fortified elements to make the food tastier.
In the past, our Ancestors never really add all these rubbish to the food they prepared I guess.
I think the only way to minimize risk of getting unhealthy is to take Organic food (which is so expensive - that comes to the point whereby we need our job to continue living good lifestyle)
 
Thanks Min81 and Celestine. I will prob get referral letter from polyclinic first
happy.gif
 
Min81,
Nah... If nothing goes wrong, my next visit for Dr is on 10 Dec.
On Day 2 is blood test & scan.
On Day 7 is HSG test. Before making appt for HSG test, i need to call and ensure tat my Chlamydia test doesn't have any problem.
The nurse keep saying i need be super patient with the hotline for HSG. Very hard to get thru.. Haiz!
Did u went thru HSG test before? How it works? Just an x-ray?

For those appt, i try to ask my boss for few hrs leaves.
My leaves left less then 5 days, bcos of the MC leaves & parent problem.
Lucky my boss very understanding of my condition, he very good to talk, as long i finish my wrk n wouldn't crash.

Min81 & Jhw,
Min, totally understand ur feeling.
Giving stress and pressure to other partner is so upset, but we have no choice.
Not tat we are lazy, only tat we needed to really rest our body for better conceive.
Ya, in SG it very hard to survive on one person income.
Tat why i dun dare to bring this up to my HB, believe his pressure will shot up.
My HB & I wasn't a Grad too, altot i dun earn much but least there some income for TTC if i needed all tis treatment.
If i really wanted to quit, we really needed to save n cut away lots of lifestyle.

Really envy those ppl, they can get pregnant so easily.
The more we want, the more i felt it hard to get.
Was abt to give up... hanging on~~!!

Mich,
I'm not sure abt pre-natal vit wor.
I didnt took any multi vit, so tat why im using Ensure for my supplement.
Oh... same time i still take evening primrose, Omega 3 Oil & Folic Acid.
Each time i wouldnt mix the Ensure with those supplement, will wait for few hrs.
 
Sisters, if u girls r considering resigning, mayb can resign from full time n find some part time job to get by. This way, wnt b so stressed and have abit of income also.
 
min81,

I see. Good luck to your test tomorrow!!

Mich,

You may want to check your pre-natal vit and ensure milk content. Just ensure their add up does not exceed the RDA.

As for the medisave, I did use my medisave to off set most of the D&C. The receptionist ask me if want to use medisave, of course I said yes, and she just gave me forms to fill up. The rest are done by her.
 
Celest,

Perhaps you can start to venture and see if there is par time job suitable for you. In Singapore, very difficult to survive with one paycheck. I had also been thinking about quitting job for a few years now. So, I slowly plan to divert away from my full time job, which is very stressful. When my freelance job is stable, I will quit my full time job. I also dun want to burden my hubby with the expenses, so got to plan something to help out. Perhaps you can start planning. Never try never know.
happy.gif
 
MIch,
Medisave i offset for D&C but it only a few hundred dollar.
Add up to Dr's fee, theater room, anesthesia & one night ward stays, we still need to come out abt 1.7K. My was at Mt A.
We assume tat my insurance could cover the cost, and my HB call to double checked with my agent, so we chose A Ward. End up nothing can be claim. Piss me off...
 
Princess,
Now i couldnt think of any part time job tat can cross my mind.
Maybe i will hv a talk with my company and see if any arrangement can be made.
Hopefully i can switch to part timer, but chances is low.
 
Princessleopard, jhw,

Thank you!!
happy.gif


Celest,

The first part of hsg is like pap smear, where the doc will put in place the speculum to keep cervix open.. Then they'll inject the fluid dye.. Just feels like menstrual cramps.. Don't worry, it'll be fine
happy.gif


Regarding quitting, don't stress yourself over it now.. When u have time, look over the options u have and slowly think it over.. For myself, had been planning a new career for some time before i quit and had taken the delay in starting ivf to attend classes and attain certification.. Sometimes, things work themselves out nicely.. Don't worry too much now k..
 
Ladies,

It's a bfn.. Am disappointed but guess i just have to try naturally in nov before going ivf in dec.. Thank u for all the good wishes and support during my 2ww.. Really appreciate it..
 
min,
Hugs !!!
could it be tested too early?
maybe you monitor if AF still dun come, test again.

Celest,
i saw some mums working home-based jobs,
i really wonder how they manage to find
 
min: hugs.. perhaps is too early to test as wat jhw say.

am a slient reader in this thread but i do read everyday for all you ladies update.

celest: my claims was also rejected. acc to them, under clause of duno wat, they will allow to claim only if its above 21 weeks. mine is consider spontaneous abortion.
 
Bb regine, mine was natural miscarriage, so all the consultations totally cannot be claimed
i wonder why medisave or shield cannot designed to protect mummies like us
 
Jhw, bb regine,

Thanks gals.. 13dpiui with clearblue digital shld be pretty accurate.. Will not test again unless af is still not here in a wk or so..

Celest,

Is ur insurance the one that's medisave-linked? My bills were 90% paid by ntuc under miscarriage benefit.. The remaining 10% about $300.. But i have a rider that pays out 100 for each day stay.. Was given $400 and i used that to offset the $300.. I can stay up to A ward but stayed B1.. I called ntuc hotline when i was warded.. I feel that sometimes the agents don't give accurate info.. My prudential agent gave me wrong info a couple of times..
 
jhw: mine too. yes fully agree. y must we suffer emotionally and monetary sense...

min: mine is prushield A. may i ask which type of plan you have?
 
bb regine,

Mine is ntuc enhanced incomeshield advantage plan.. This is the middle range, up to A ward in govt/restructured hosp.. I didn't know abt the pregnancy complications benefit till i was billed and it states miscarriage benefit..
 
min81, bbregine

mine also incomeshield something something, i need to go back and check if mine is the same as yours... but i didn't stay ward, i opted for natural miscarriage at home, and my consultation is KKH 24 hours clinic, so i guess cannot claim...

But actually i was expecting other insurance to be able to allow us to claim abit... seems like No....
 
thanks for all the replies, i wish that medisave has a clearer provision to handle miscarriage cases. sorry to repeat the q, coz its still not clear to me, i went private and wasn't warded after my d&c. seems tt natural mc cannot claim anything n medisave only covers the d&c?

min, hugs, hope u can get ur bfp soon. try to focus on ur health only? i oso feel a bit sian sometimes looking at my passive sil with 2 kids, but i tell myself tt things will all turn out fine in the end.
issit tt ur incomeshield covered the consultation fees oso?

jhw, ya organic food is so ex! i guess unless u stick to eating kampung chicken tt kind... one of my japanese ex-colleagues doesn't eat chicken coz of all the hormone injections they get. agree with u on the fate with children; i like to think tt when the time is ripe, the children will come naturally.

celest, have u considered relief teaching? one of my ex-colleagues told me tt they just hire u on a daily basis but at least there is some income.

princess, haven't bought the ensure yet, mabbe i will go n buy and drink it for breakfast or something.
 
Jhw,

During billing, did u tell the patient service u have insurance? Cos the hosp will claim direct frm insurance.. If anything not sure, call ntuc direct.. It's like that in sg, if u don't ask, all will act blur..

Mich,

Thanks.. I'll stay strong and just move on and continue trying.. Do u mean the consultation fees before i was warded? Not applicable for me cos m/c only confirmed halfway thru my stay.. But i would think pre and post consultation are not claimable..
 
Celest,

As mich suggested, u can apply for relief teaching on moe website.. Once approved, ur details will be in the system for schools to contact u when they need relief teachers.. Daily rates.. Or u can approach a nearby sch of ur choice, let them know moe has approved, leave ur details so they can call u when they need..
 
Min81,
Xie xie ni for the info on HSG test.
First time, so must know before hand the process, or i might panic. LOL

Dun give up hope dear.
Heard from the NUH Dr saying tat most ppl success on 3 times after IUI.
Got to stay positive n it will attract to us. JIAYOU!!

May i know how many weeks are u?
The insurance im using is call Medishield advance which is under prudential.
The next day after my D&C, my stupid agent call me saying they can't cover bcos i'm at 11 weeks miscarriage. The min range is 20 weeks. Then they able to cover all the cost. I was so piss..
 
Mich & Min81
I have send my request to my HR. Spoken to my caring boss.
I can work at home and go back if needed me, of cos will pay me under part timer salary.
But need to request and see how the HR management decision. Horrey!!
 
Min, thanks for the info.

Celest, good to hear tt ur boss is so understanding, hopefully ur HR oso ok, then all the conditions will b just nice! n ur bfp will come soon.
 
Celest,

That's good news
happy.gif
See, it all worked out nicely..

I'm not going for 3rd iui.. Already in line for ivf in dec.. It's i itchy fingers wanna try iui while waiting.. Hope got better luck at ivf..

I was at 8 wks.. Looking at my policy nw.. It says it will reimburse necessary medical treatment for m/c and m/c is defined as 'diagnosis by an obstetrician of the death of the foetus of the insured person as a result of a sudden unforeseen and involuntary event and must not be due to a voluntary or malicious act'.. Doesn't say how advanced the pregnancy is..

I pray that none of us here ever have to make such claims ya..
 
Mich, Min81, GBOB
Yes, im blessed to have such a understanding boss.
Haven't bring this to my hubby, got to have a talk with him soon.

Best of lucks on ur IVF! Jiayou girl!!

Is there a different between Medishield and Incomeshield?
Maybe it time for me to change my plan.
Of cos pray tat we all dun need claim it ever again.
 
Wah the thread suddenly run so fast..
Ya i hope that No such claim to be done for any one of us !!!

Min,
who knows, maybe next natural try for you will graduate !!
happy.gif
!! All the best !!!

Celest,
your boss is good !!!
even if switch to part time salary, at least work life balance is attained... and its good enough!!!
u know the travelling journey from Home to Work is tedious enough, got to stand on MRT if you preggy and no one give up seat, got to squeeze MRT or Bus... and MRT/Bus nowadays, CMI... either u get a MRT without Air, or MRT that come late ... u are force to Make your choice man !!
 
Hi sisters,

Thanks for all the replies to me. You guys are so supportive! I am so glad I am here. When facing with such miscarriage, I suddenly do not feel the sincerity of people who say they care about me like friends etc.. I am not sure if you feel like I do. But yes the word lonely would describe it.

Can you guys tell me some of the protocols of what to do and not to do after mc? my mom makes me eat a lot of hot stuff like ginger and pepper.. not sure when I can eat properly again.

I am dying to have my teeth fixed, do you think after mc for 2 months would be a good time?
 
Sofia

Same as you... except for my family members and hubby... I do not feel any care and concern from any So call good friends... Some say this is only small matter, think positive, or that i am still young, no problem to try again etc etc....
To them, these are Really small matters....
At one instance, i really feel lonely because no one understand how i feel. This Support group and sisters here really help me a great deal

Yes yes, eat Lotsa Ginger and Sesame Oil
Like some sisters here, Take Tonics after your Bleeding stop. Tonics like Ba Zhen, Shi Quan da Bu tang. Keep Drinking Longan Red Date Tea with Ginger from Now on. Sleep early with Socks. Don't catch wind. Oh Ya DO NOT take Cold Food/Drinks !!

On the Second Month of my MC, I had my Wisdom Tooth (Upper and Lower) Extracted.
I think it is Perfectly alright to get your Tooth fixed after Two Months of M/C
 
min81, so gancheong for u !!
happy.gif
dont think too much, waiting here to grab ur bb dust!! ;)

ya talk abt quit the full time job, really stress cos only hb alone to support all the expenses.. not dare to go out from home too...
wonder how some sis can get home based job....
 
Jhw,
Oh yes! Felt so bless to hb such a understanding boss.
One reason I'm hanging on this company is for him, I couldn't think of any bosses tat can be tat understanding as mine. Now I can only wait for HR to approve n change here n there. Not easy to be done, might drag for mth n mth to make it work, but at least there is some changes. I'm super glad now. Hehe!

Sofia n Jhw,
Nobody able understand us, unless they went thru our pain.
I'm so bless to found this supporting group too.
Everyone here is so sincere n caring, make me felt I'm not alone.
Do come here often n go ahead rant all u want. It helps. Lol

For protocol, believe Jhw had share with u.
During my confirement times, I didn't done properly now regretted. End up keep having backache etc.
After see TCM tat been recommend by Jhw & with tonic n supplement, my health improve alot. No more backache etc.
So u must at least do 2 week of confirement to boost back ur health. Endure this 2 week.
 
Hi Jhw and Celestine,

I am so sorry that we all have to go through this pain that yes most people take it so easily and doesn't even try to understand us. After loosing my angel baby, it made me look at people differently. People who say "I care about you, I miss you, I love you, DEAR" never visit me even once. Some send me a super long message, blah blah.. They are all "fake". So sad..

Thanks Jhw and Celest, I will try the tonic. For Longan Red Date Tea, are we talking about the instant one in package? or other form?

Guys, when do you think I can start eating again? ie.. coffee... 2 months??
 
Celest

A Good Boss is very important and hard to come by... Nothing beats having a Good boss in a Job...
I don't mind high workload sometimes as long as i have great boss and colleagues...
happy.gif


Ya I really agree that A Good Confinement is very important... I also felt that I did not do a good confinement during the first two weeks and I am trying to compensate for the months after that. Dunno is it still On time or not...

Sofia

Ya, like what Celest mentioned, Do come here often if you feel unhappy and wish to rant about something... Sisters here are all very supportive... Longan Red date tea is not the Instant one... its Real ingredients
1. Dried Longans
2. Red Dates
3. Old Ginger (can also be normal ginger but old one better)
4. Wolfberries (i added wolfberries for antioxident)
Brew them for few hours and you can drink..
usually i brew overnight and scoop into thermal flask and bring to office.... Sat, Sun, if I go out, i will give myself a break...

For me, I kick Coffee and Tea once and for all.
because I heard that Caffaine is bad for Babies, so if I TTC again, i better avoid...

It is crisis like this that Make me see the True colors of Some friends, and truly understand Who really care for me.... i started to cherish my family and Hubby.... they will always be there for me... and of course, all the sisters here hehe
 
Jhw,
Nothing is too late to start.
We are now on the road of recovery, very soon we see our rainbow bb.
U same as me, on the weekend I stop drink LRD.
Going out ma, so lazy to bring those drink out.. Haha!!
But if u happen at coffee shop etc, u can ask the uncle if they sell Ginger tea. Some does sell, only recently then I discover it. But those are instant type, better then nothing. Lol

Sofia,
Try not to drink anymore coffee or tea. It terrible for ur body.
Previously i can't endure passing the day without green tea, my TCM keep nagging at me n my backache hurt til I can't stand or walk well. My MC n backache scare me off from any tea or caffeine. Take care ur body, so we can creates a good envoriment for our next conceive.

For the LRD.
Previously I will throw all into the thermal flask n pour boiling water into it. Will leave it til next day n bring wrk.
But I notices tat the Ginger wasn't tat strong, so I now boil them in a pot for abt an hr n dump into my thermal flask for next day.
 
Celest ,
没想到 LRD is also your weekdays drink, like me...
I sometimes will drink red beans soup outside... very good for us
happy.gif
oh ya, celest n min, i just drank my virgin cup of ensure chocolate milk... amazing taste!! Feel like drinking somemore... so excited , now i everyday will look forward to this .. oh after i scoop six spoonful then i realise they got provide scoop haha but it buried under the powder until i accidentally dug it out. LoL!!!
 
Mich,

Mine is D&C at private hospital. Its a day surgery. I pay with medisave and balance about less than $200 I pay cash. Check with both my agents all cannot claim insurance as I am only 9th week preggy.

Celest,

Glad to hear that!! Good things does happened...isn't...
happy.gif


Min81,

Hug hug!! AF never come still have chance!!
 
Jhw,
Everyday im looking forward to my cup of ensure too. LOL!!
I no patient to boil my LRD in the weekend. It suppose to be my relax day ma, so hack care. Hahaha!

Princess,
Ya... need to think positive.
Thanks to u girls! Alway there to cheer and support me. MUCKS!

Ur D&C, u didn't stay for a night?
My emo was too overwhelming, so Dr put me on a night stay to observe me.
Next day suppose be his off day, yet still came to check on me & do all paperwork. Even he and a Sister pray with me in the ward.
 
Min
*hugs* sorry for the neg results..but do look forward to your ivf then! Meanwhile try natural see how..maybe go for a short holiday, might help with the stress levels..

Celestine
wah your doc was so nice!


btw, sisters here i can't recall if someone mentioned it b4 but can one drink bazhan after ovulation?
 
And oh Sofia,

think it's a good time to fix your teeth now cos in case over the next few months if you're preggy, can't do anymore..so it's a better time now
happy.gif
 
Celest,

We all have a very basic medishield plan.. In order to make it more comprehensive, govt allow us to get a plan from insurance co. to be integrated with it.. Incomeshield is from ntuc, prushield is from prudential, etc.. I was deciding betw ntuc and pru, but chose ntuc in the end cos cheaper.. My plan only cover up to A ward in govt which is fine with me cos my chouce of hosp is sgh or nuh.. If in the event i wanna go pte hosp, they'll still cover but only 65%.. Insurance is something we never wanna use, but is necessary when in unfortunate situations so really need to research before buying..

Jhw, snoopy77, princessleopard,

Thanks.. I will continue to jia you!

Princessleopard,

May i ask ur plans are with which ins co.? I'm actually quite shocked to learn that u gals were not able to claim from ur ins cos my plan is not the exp kind.. My medisave wasn't touched, all paid by ins.. My premium was not increased, but after renewal, i went for lap and claimed again, must wait till next renewal then will know premium got increase anot.. Cannot claim feel stress, can claim also stress.. That's life huh..
 
Min81,
big hugz.. its not the end till the evil witch reports!!!
I just had my 1st cycle after mc.. While we never really track and try as my ovulation strips all showed negative till i gave up.. I still held some slight hopes, as i had all the symptoms..In fact, now that AF came, i count back the dates, and realized we did try on the correct date (provided if i ovulate) . I guess, when its not meant to be, its not meant to be.Maybe its the body way of telling us, its not ready yet.
Sigh!
But the good thing is, with all the BU i had this mth...my AF was painless... I am sticking to the LRD tea !!
 
Celest,

I did not stay for a night. Gynae say its day surgery. Only keep me for an hour after D&C, till I can eat and drink, then I can go.

Chrisl,

Dr Su say its ok to drink every week except for AF week. So, 1 month can drink about 3 weeks.

min81,

My plans are from GE and Prudential. Exact plan name I cannot recall. My files are with one of my agents for annual review. I remember the GE plan was especially for women's problem. But still cannot claim, if I am not wrong the claim only start after 12 weeks preggy.
 
Jhw,

Haha.. Really like ensure that much ah.. Can keep the scoop after u finish this tin.. Cos some tins, the scoop is buried quite deep in the powder, can use the spare scoop first..

Chrisl,

Thanks gal.. I'm feeling better now.. Hubby did a lot of sweet stuff for me yesterday and told me we just try our best, if really fated not to have kids, he will still love me as much and that no matter what, we still have each other.. I'll stay strong for him
happy.gif


Rian,

Thanks..
Don't worry, it's only ur first cycle after m/c.. Don't need to rush.. Just continue to bu and build up ur health
happy.gif


Princessleopard,

I see.. My prudential plan also for ladies.. And i paid for an extra maternity risk option.. During the m/c then told by my agent only can claim if pregnancy after 165 days.. But actually,i read thru and saw that everything is written in policy.. It's just that most of the time, we nvr scrutinise our policy..
 

min, if u dun mind me asking, is the prudential plan & ntuc plab both linked to the medisave?

celest, princess, i also din stay overnight for my D&C, the gynae had a separate room to do it, so he actually gave me all the jabs himself, i slept for a few hours n rested a bit more after i got up, then just go home after tt.

another question about finances since it seems tt many pple do have insurance linked to medisave; does the insurance cover the pregnancy and childbirth in future?
 
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