Support group - Miscarriages

Celestine, i intend to take 2 week confinment food. BaZhan I will use to brew lean meat. i been drinking red date with logen but nvr add old giner.

Pricessleopard: sometimes things are fated. but as long as I m positive, I will success one day.
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Rene: well, we all understand how each other feel. but let's stay together to help each other. I always believe life is fair. haha... i intend to go around my family members to ask for the chicken essence cause a lot of ppl acutally don drink. then i can save some $$ for next IVF cycle. hehe
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Rian,

Yes, I started to track ovulation after mc. After my first AF came back normal, I was given green light to start ttc. So I start my bbt and opk. I start to ovulate on the 2nd month.

Perhaps your body havent tune back to normal? I know its normal to wait up to 3 months. Cos sometimes hormone level havent return to normal.
 
Princessleopard,

My tcm is in marine parade, name of medical hall is ban choon chan.. I can't remember the exact address but it's at the row of hdb shophouses beside that old cinema which was converted into church.. I try google and find the add for u if u interested but that one you have to boil the herbs yourself leh.. Very yucky.. 100 times worse than ba zhen.. Everytime i drink, i will have to stop a few times and cover my mouth with hand cos i scared i spew out everything.. Haha.. But depends on individual i think.. Maybe i responded well to his med.. I lost some of that curviness after mc, and after lap, totally lost them.. Sob..
 
Rian,

Actually i didn't track ovulation after mc.. Think my AF only regulated at 3rd cycle.. Hubby and i were recovering emotionally after mc so didn't wanna stress ourselves.. We just BD whenever we wanted, but i will also kinda estimate my ovulation and do around that time too.. Maybe your body still needs a little time to regulate the hormones, don't get too stressed out k, no good for hormones too..
 
min81,

I think I will give it a miss. I cannot even stand bazhen, let alone those herbs. hehe

Never mind la, those curviness can get them back if you want. Now the priority is family planning. Rest more!! Tomorrow is the big day.
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Princessleopard,

Haha.. Ya the herbs is really pretty horrible but hubby and i just have to swallow it.. Lucky only 2-3 times a mth.. But i guess it adjusted my hormones well.. Few mths prior to tcm, had a blood test to check hormones and was told my testosterone (male hormones) too high.. After all the tcm, the blood test showed very good hormone levels.. Think the increase in female hormones was wat contributed to the change in figure.. So i believe u'll see good results if u persevere with ur tcm, jia you!
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sunflower

hugzz to you !!
like the rest of the ladies mentioned,
Drink LRD tea and wear socks when you sleep.
ba zhen can drink after m/c as per zhong hua's doctor's advice to me... don't take liang food such as watermelon, barley, green tea.... totally stop them from now on... and don't eat cold stuff... Jiayou !!!

Princess

My dad say there is bazhen pills...
just like BFW like that...
you can try... but i think this have to take frequently .... if i am not wrong
 
Hi Eli, hugs to u. Please do a mini confinement like what the rest of the sisters advised. Must rest your body well.

Hi rian, for me, I only started to track for O after the first af came after the mc.
 
Ladies,

Today's not a good day for me. Remember I mentioned my sil boosted last year that this year she definitely give birth to a dragon boy. She really got her wish. So now both my sil showing off around their dragon boys.
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Princess

I understand how you feel !!!
this few days i was feeling really upset too
Seeing my friend FB about her newborn baby.. and remembered that she ever complain abt swollen feet in watsapp (in a group chat)... maybe i am sensitive but can't help thinking people trying to show off in front of me... but the thing is she know i m/c ..... maybe ppl are not sensitive enough to us... but can't help feeling sore
 
jhw,

Last year, after we heard we just put off with her cos we cannot choose gender. Who knows she really got a boy, somemore dragon boy. She is young but very pantang like old auntie. She never takes care of her daughter cos she despises the gender. She never thought of she is a female herself. She always show off how expensive foods/baby powder etc etc she bought for her girl, but those are only for show, cos she never remember to feed her girl. When baby cried like hell, she scolded my mil for not feeding her daughter. My mil very pitiful to be bullied by her everyday.
 
Princess,
Omg... Ur SIL so mean. She as a mother, see own child hungry, why can't she feed her daughter instead. I totally understand how u feel. My SIL often msg my hb n send him photo of her daughter. My hb loves bb alot n it makes me sad to see him envy them. Felt so useless..
 
Celest,

I can understand how u feel too, and your hubby. My hubby loved kids too. He played with his niece and nephew as if his own. He went shopping and often buy toys for them. I feel sad sometimes whenever he played happily and buy stuffs for them. Cos I know he so wanted the fatherhood himself.
 
Celest,

My sil only engrossed with her tv series and painting her nails. Busy looking at websites to buy branded goods. She wun care for her girl. Now, its a boy, everything changes. Her fb is all full of the newborn pictures. The girl hardly have more then 5 in the past. Poor girl.

The niece and nephew (different sil's) are 1 year apart, but the younger nephew knew all the alphabets, numbers and colours, but the older niece hardly knew any. This is the difference between good parents and bad ones. One sil everyday read to the son, the other sil everyday scold, complain, and bitch in front of the girl. This is the most drastic upbringing I had ever seen.
 
Princessleopard,

Wah ur sil sounds like a really unpleasant person and a really mean mum to her own daughter.. Just ignore if possible.. I think your niece deserves better treatment and maybe u wanna sayang her as her aunt
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Try not to get too affected k.. Hugz.. We can't control how others behave, but we can control how much we're going to let all that get to us..
 
min81,

I wanted to, whenever she dumped her daughter at home and go clubbing with friends. Then I will teach and read to the girl. But very minimal can be done, cos damage already created. I rarely go back now cos I dun want to see the sil. The moment she opened her mouth, it's only ugly words. So, nowadays only can see the girl from fb.
 
Princessleopard,

Oh man, she sounds worse by the minute.. Can understand how u feel.. Well, u've already tried to do what you can with ur niece, don't have to feel bad..
 
Sigh! While we desperately hope to have kids of our own..some just doesn't treasure what they have
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Princessleopard, your SIL sounds really bad
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Rian,

Yes, both sil are selfish people. But this one is the worst.

One thing I know for sure is all ladies here will be great mothers one day!!
 
Agree with Rian...
Dun let this affect u. Not worth it.
I used to pity my mil who alway kena scolded by my SIL.
Will try my best as a DIL toward my MIL. After MC, nobody even care to ask abt me. All they cares is their own life. So why we care so much for those rubbish. We can't ctr their way of behaviour n thought, but we can treat ourselves better from avoiding contact as much possible.
 
No matter gal or boy i will love and treasure my child to the max... as long as i can carry him or her to full term, i just hope he or she will be healthy, and happy.... dunno y there is such mean mother in the world like your sil!!!
 
Yes, that is what I am thinking. We are not talking about men here, its women who gave birth to children. Aren't they the one who understand better?
 
Hmm..sorry to see newcomers here..*hugs* eli and bb regine..

min all the best to your iui tomorrow hor!

Actually I am also a tad stressed over my o this time again..i am praying that o does not fall on saturday again! Then this cycle will be cancelled again due to clinic close on weekend!


side track ladies..

Have you ever have people asking you 'when will you be having children' only to unwillingly and pressured into letting them know about your status (IVF/ miscarriage etc) then be very regretful over what you have told and then 'scold' yourself why you did that?? How to tactfully tell people that you don't wish to comment about anything face to face?
 
ChrisL,

Thank you!! Don't worry too much k.. I'm sure it'll work out fine and ur ovulation will not be on a wkend
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Actually, if u don't wish to share with some people about ivf/miscarriage, u can just say 'don't worry, i make sure u'll be one of the first i'll announce my pregnancy to!' and just laugh itoff.. I normally just say that when it's in a big group or with people i'm not so close with.. Usually everyone just laughs n won't dig any further..
 
Thanks ChrisL. My hands seem to stop shaking le. Think perhaps I was nervous as I jus went Bk to wrk after a long mc. Thankfully, my boss didn't mention anything abt it to me n most of the colleague tout I went for a holiday or so...

Yesterday 1 of my close frens groupchat n told us that her colleague gave birth last fri 12-10-12 but during labour suddenly the bb hb stopped and they didn't manage to save the bb. My heart sank upon hearing it though i didn't know them but I can feel for them.. Sometimes life is such that we can't control. Haiz Duno y I saying this but I jus felt tat considering their situation, I'm still "luckier" in e sense..

I find a phase at my gynae clinic that wrote
"If you can't hold them in ur arms, then hold them in our hearts"
Somehow my mind keeping thinking abt this n I find it v meaningful.
 
min81, all the best to your IUI!!!!!

bb regine, this phrase is indeed meaningful... you are right, considering whats worse that could happen, i also do feel 'luckier'..emotionally, your friend's friend situation is really very hard to endure..i don't know if i can survive that!!
 
Min81 all the best!
Eli & bb regine - do try to focus on your health and take good care of urself.
Keeping them fondly in our hearts... That's a good one.
On the topic of having daughters, you know I actually told my hubby I will be very sad if I dun have at least 1 girl...
Wel gynae say can only ttc after 2nd mensus cycle.
 
Hi all
I am new here.

I have my second scan on last Thursday and my gynea would not detect my bb heart beat, my bb only 1.5cm big and have stop growing. When he confirm that I have a m/c my heart just sank.
When he was explaining to me my mind just went blank, trying to control my tears. lucky my hubby was there with me.
When walk out of the room, my tears just keep flowing out uncontrolly. Keep thinking why why why?
Had my d/c done on kkh on Saturday as I am having cramp and bleeding already so go kkh for second opinion and doctor ask me to admit hospital. Now resting at home. But will tend to think of my bb when I am alone..
 
Min81,
Wish u all my best~!! Hoping to hear more baby dust here. =D

Sasa12,
Sorry to hear abt that.
Reading ur post, remind of my nightmare. It the same feeling i had when the Dr told me the bad news. Only tat i lost ctr and cry out loud. Took me awhile to calm down n proceed to D&C on same day.
Cry when u needed, it a way all of us here find relief. Time will ease ur pain. Altot we wouldn't able to carry n forget abt our BB, we can keep them inside our hearts.
 
Rian, gbob, shoppixe, snoopy77, celest,

Thank you ladies for all the well wishes!! Am resting at home now.. Will take it slow these 2 wks and just hoping for the best
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Shoppixe, princess,

Hubby and i will be happy as long as bb is healthy.. But we also secretly hoping can have a girl girl first.. Hehe..

Sasa12,

Hugs.. We know what you're going thru.. It's never easy, give yourself time to grieve.. Take good care k..
 
sasa12,

Sorry for your loss. We can understand how you feel, we all been through that. Rest well at home, do a mini confinement and get your health back first.

Take care!
 
sasa12: don be sad, we should always stay postiive. Mine also the same. I am already on week 8. Finally I can remove the bb tml fm my womb. We could not detech the hb since 19 Oct. I have never drop a single tear cause we must be stronger to overcome such problem. Let's put it another thinking, it might be better for the bb cause he/she might suffer more if they come to this world. Stay positive and we will have a second chance again.
 
min, all the best! hope it all goes well!

chris, hope tt u will b able to make it this month. on ur side topic, actually i did get a lot of pressure with all the "when r u having a baby topic" during the time i was having my second mc. i just pretended either not to hear or tt i din understand wat they were saying. i know its not so easy to ignore these questions but i just fiddle with my phone or find some reason to remove myself from the pple if its not possible to divert the conversation to something else. i regret telling my frens a little as i can't figure out how i shd answer when they ask me how i m now.

shoppixe, princess, min, i hope i can get a long feng tai! then tt would b the best of both worlds, but tt is my dream only. hb said he wanted 3 children, n i cant even give him a single one yet. dunno le, just feel anxious abt the whole thing.
 
sasa12, sorry to hear about tt, i still think abt my bb, for e first mc i was on week 11+ when the heartbeat wasn't detected. after my mc was confirmed by a 2nd dr, i managed to hold my tears till my hb n me reached the car, then it all came out. thinking abt it still makes me sad...

if its any comfort, i read somewhere, a miscarriage is indicator of future fertility. n e dr told me tt after d&c the womb is clean n its easier for implantation to take place.

hope we all get our rainbow babies soon...
 
Mich,

I also thought of twins...haha. So greedy hor.
That time, I do so-iui, I got 4 follicles, my hubby just hope got chance for twins will be good....sigh, yet another disappointment.

Dun be anxious, stay relax. Rainbow baby will come soon
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Halo all, thanks for encouragement, ya trying to get over it now.
My bb is around 9 week coming to 10 week. Doc say it might have stop develop since 1 week ago.
Have been trying for 1 year and finally got it but bb got no fate with me... Sob sob...
Ya, princessL, now doing mini confinement at home for 2 weeks before going back to work. Hope by then I am back to normal..
 


Hi sasa, sorry for your loss. ((Big bear hugs)) all of us here knows and understand how u feel. Take your time to grieve. Cry if u must. Take good care of your health do a mini confinement and then move on. Have faith and try again. Jia yo
 

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