Support group - Miscarriages

[shiseru]

Jovial, I think I understand. When i was pregnant with my baby, I stopped smoking and I did not pick up again after I have lost her. I used to be very career minded but ever since I have lost her, family has become my priority, I will make sure I spend some quality time with my family. Motherhood has also become more important, and career is no longer number 1 in my list. I have changed...

 

[pinky123]

We have shared our tots here. Hope we can share our joys in this thread soon.

 

[mkchewy]

Shiseru,
hugz... you must be broken into pieces yet again seeing Hubby so sad. BE strong, hang in there.

I wonder why ME , what happen too when I had 3 m/c and the last one is at 22 wks. But it's better to let go since there must be a reason for it to happen . Regardless of what reasons, I think the most important thing is to 'tiao hao' the body for the next pregnancy.

I totally agreed with you to reset your priority in life. Family is No 1. I quitted my job for other reasons too but one of the reason is I want a good rest before the next pregnancy. Not getting younger too. So hope all will be well. I'm thinking, I can go back to career anytime..for now.. i want a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby to carry home soon.

STAY POSITIVE.. & JIA YOU !!

 

[shiseru]

Chewy thanks, yeah to think my hubby always act tough in front of me but caught him tearing really hurts me.

I remembered when we first knew baby have spina bifida and whenever I cried, he would hug me, pat my head, cried and said "我可怜的老婆"

He also said, how could a husband leaves a wife or have an affair with another after seeing his wife suffered so much pain for a pregnancy?

For me, i can't stop working, coz i am the sole bread winner in the family, my parents and my brother are staying with us, and my hubby income fluctuate. That's why our plan to conceive was pushed backwards as I continued to excel and earn more in order to provide my family with a better life.

Do you ladies get paranoid nowadays? I do, everything single little thing I get worried, couldn't control the negative thinking sometimes. Has been like this ever since the incident and I am trying to overcome all of these.

 

[elxir]

hey ladies,
i m back from my bangkok trip... so relaxing, how i wish no need come back to work.

just to update - my AF arrived on 1 Nov when i was still in bangkok. Never felt so happy having AF visit me. LOL. my hubby ask me why i suddenly so happy, grinning away. haha.... cos last time whenver AF arrive, i will frown and feel super sad. tat day was different, so happy cos at least i know i can start charting and planning again. cant wait to be able tcc again and have a healthy baby.

Stefie, your AF will visit u soon too!

stay positive to all and jiayou!

 

[pinky123]

Good Morning Ladies,

A brand new day, Elxir, welcome back!! Know how u feel. Me too was very happy when my AF return on the 30th Oct. Now almost over. (5th day already). So happy. First time having AF makes my day.!! Ke ke...

U plan to TTC this month? Me too eager to start and have a August baby.

But a bit scare. My gynae say can start trying after 1st menses.....?????

 

[shiseru]

Yeah, my gynae also said can start TTC after 1st menses complete. I was overjoyed when my 1st menses returned. Ladies got this love/hate relationship with our AF LOL!

This is my 3rd AF after the M/C, and today is day 8 of my cycle, I will start testing with OPK, coz last month I was tested positive on day 11 with OPK. I have never used OPK before wow didn't know I ovulate so early O_O

 

[pinky123]

Hi Shiseru,

Look out for the change in mucus. I find that really accurate. Whenever I see it turning transparent and stretchy, my OPK will turn positive within usu 1 day.

Jia You!!

 

[sunbelle]

Hi gals,

just to share my sorrows and sadness here . 5 weeks back, when i realise that i was pregant,mi and my hubby were so happie. last week, started bleeeding during the gynae check up, gynae admitted me straight away to hospital for bedrest. and injections straight away. weak heartbeat of 86 is detected at 6 weeks old.

yesterdae went back to do another detailed scan, baby heartbeat is 0.was praying so hard that everytin turned out to be well. but it doesn't, i saw redness in my hubby when i saw him carrying the report. he asked me to prepare myself when we meet the gynae.

we jus saw a strong heart beat two weeks back and here it is, everytin ended. i just cannot accept it so sudden but decided to end it and went for D & C yesterdae evening. is so hard for me to accept such that i cried whole dae and even last nite, sobbing in the middle of nite. i noe the chances of us having baby is low cos we strike it when there is onl 10% chance as i took the GNRH jab to curb my endometrosis. only 2% of my hubby's spearm is normal. gynae has also explained the risk and also shared with us the risks. jus that i tot by being veri positive i will be all rite.

i took all the progestrone injections til backside all blueblack. i guess what is not meant to be for us is jus not for us. how do u gals do ur confinment huh?

Can share share huh? can i straight away go for a short trip? how many weeks mc do u have after the D & C huh?

 

[shiseru]

sunbelle, I am sorry to hear about your loss, did the gyane say when you can TTC again?

About that part you mentioned the chances of having baby is low, is there some fertility issues you were having before you were pregnant?

You could do a 2 weeks confinment, take this chance to strengthen your womb and body, then plan for a short trip to heal. I know the feeling of emptiness and wanting to escape from everything after the incident but take 1 day at a time, lean on your hubby and family for support. You will need all the support you can get at this point of time.

I lost my baby at 20 weeks, I had a 1 full month confinement, so i was absent for work for a month. I did not have D&C coz placenta came out complete after I deliver my daughter.

My heart goes out to you and to all mummies who had lost the battle to fate but stay strong and never give up.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi elxir,

Glad you have relax trip. AF come liao, can start planning

Babydust to you

My AF still KIV, cos I am stress by my Friday exam. Decide to let nature takes its own course.

I am going to Chiang Mai in Mid dec, will be going with our thai friend. So excited cos 1st time going to Chiang Mai

Hi Shiseru,

Babydust to you

Hi Sunbelle,

sorry for your loss. Do cry if you need to, don't bottle up your feelings. You can take start trip, that will help alot in healing. I would suggest you to see Chinese Sinsei to Tiao and Bu your health back.

I did mini confinement for 2 weeks, drink red dates water, do not drink plain water cos will have water retention. I still take shower without the herbs. This web has some confinement food recipe which I used. http://www.momsinmind.com.sg/confinementrecipes.html

I had 2 m/c, 1st one baby has no heart beat at week 12 (2 years ago), 2nd one I need to terminate my pregnancy cos baby has no skull at week 11 (oct-09). So you are not alone. Do pop-by if you need anyone to talk to, Ladies here are warmth and nice.

I had bedrest and hormones injections during 2nd pregnancy, till now I still have itch at that area where I had injections, that is the only memory left from my 2nd pregnancy.

Do rest more. The only good news after m/c is chances of getting pregnant is high during 1st 4 months, but do TTC only when you are ready. Be positive, be brave. God closes one door, He will open more doors for us

Jia you

 

[pinky123]

Hi Sunbelle,

I can feel for ur sorrows and sadness.

Hope these information and sharing can help u in some ways.

I was given 10 days hospitalisation leave after D&C. The bleeding is not as bad as I expected and for me its stopped totally by day 5~6.

I did a mini confinement during the leave period. Taking dishes like fish with gingers, ang zhao chicken etc etc.

You can try delivery service of confinement food to ur place. Below are the links I got previously from Joanne.

ihostfood.com
http://www.newbaby.com.sg/
http://www.natalessentials.com/

I did not drink plain water after D&C instead I replace my daily water intake with herbal tea. There are many ways to make it, here i follow the instruction from the Medical Hall my in law went and I like the drink as it keep me warm. (I often feel cold after D&C)

Herbal Tea
1) 14 black dates
2) 4 slices of old ginger
3) 4 sticks of dang sheng
4) Dried Long gan (as per ur liking)

I put all these ingredients in a pot with 1.2L of water and boil it for about 30 min with low fire. Till the water turns dark yellow.

My gynae say if my AF is back then it shows that I have recovered well from the D&C. My AF returned after 5 weeks.

So I guess I have done the confinement correctly.

* I think its not a good idea to go straight for short trip cos I feel weak and my lower back ache after walking for sometime. I can feel physically much stronger after 1 week rest. So maybe its a better timing?

My 2 cts.

Hope my sharing can help.
Rest well and come in to chat if u feel like it.

 

[lux]

Hi Stefie,

I know how exactly you are feeling about the AF no show! Just like me I have no clue whether it was here or didnt came at all and it have been 2 months since the mc.. If we strike we strike.. if we dont it's God's Will!

Girls dont think about what wrong we done that mc happens to us. It was just bad luck where the chorosome cant match or something. Just take it our babies were just too beautiful for earth and the angels decide they recruit them to be fellow angels.

Jovial and sunbelle, I am so sorry that you have to join us in this thread. It just doesnt bode good news when we have new comers. We will get there together!

 

[shiseru]

Jovial, I am actually quite convinced with the monitoring of mucus to determine fertile days but mine has somehow gone haywire after the incident so it's quite difficult nowadays.

The OPK helps, so when I realised a positive response, i will get down to business on that day hahaha.. but usually I will BD every other night starting Day 8 or 10

 

[dusty_gecko]

hi shiseru, what's the opk?

i'm thinking of getting some kind of ovulation monitor also. (also agree that cannot monitor mucus after cases like ours, hormones very topsy turvy also)

 

[shiseru]

OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit

OPK is a test that looks for luteinizing hormone (LH). Just prior to ovulation women experience a short surge where the LH level rises to a higher level. The OPK will help you pinpoint this surge and help you predict when you will ovulate. Then you can get down to business and increase the chance to conceive ^^

I am using the ovulation strips from http://www.babydusts.blogspot.com/ You can also purchase from Guardian or Watson but they are very expensive.

 

[sunbelle]

hi shiseru,

thank you for your advice. gynae said best to try after 3months. previously i have removed 2 ovarian cysts and also suffers from endometrosis. so the chance of pregancy is really low for me esp when the injection is to reduce the growth of the endometromium.

yes we did try for a while but relaxed after we got too busi with our work. U are right in the sense that tears kept rolling down uncontroably when i wrote this. i know that time is the best element for all wounds to heal. but this is my 1st time and really hope that is the last time. i wish all of us can get preggie at the same time.

hi stefie, good that u are goin to chiang mai. i love chiang mai cos the weather there is very nice.. i love chiang mai and the people there and the elephants there. thank you for the useful link to the dishes. i am tinking of ordering confinement food cos felt no strength and weak after the D & C.

Yes i strongly believe that when one door closes, another door opens. i am of the view that everytin happend for a reason. i have not found out what is the reason but guess the most impt tin is to take good care of myself now. haf no wish of breaking the sad news to collegues yet cos i havent wrapped up my emotions yet. i am so glad that i have this channel to air out all my sorrows.

hi jovial,

thanks for the confinement food link. have u try newbaby before huh? is their food oily type huh? cos i dun realli like too oily food. i like ur herbal tea formulae leh. i agree with u that i suffers from backache too. wonder why? can we start drinking yang mi jiu or DOM wine now huh? or the du zhong bu yao jing huh?

gals, baby dust to u all too. although is a sad experience, but being pregant for the past weeks oso bring lots of happiness and bring our couple relationship closer. this epsiode strengthens our relaionship and i noe my hubby really loves mi lotsa. i guess i jus embrace and treasure all around me.

i have never use the OPK before. how do u use them huh?

 

[elxir]

hi jovial,
i will be planning tcc this month. i will start using opk from day 11 and also will be going to my gynae on day 12 to scan if eggs are big enough and he will tell me which day to try. hope to be able to get preggie soon. both my gynae and tcm doc say can try after 1st menses. so will start tcc soon. look forward to tcc again. hehehe....

for the new joiners, sad to see you join the thread. it is great that there is this avenue for us to share our sorrows. do hang in there and stay positive. we will one day bring a healthy baby home.

jiayou! babydust to all!

 

[shiseru]

sunbelle, i didnt use OPK before too only started using them after this incident.

Depends on which OPK you use. The clear blue one is very straight forward, test it in a container with urine or hold it in the stream of urine. The results will show in a few mins, if show smiley face means you are ovulating in the next 24-48 hours, this will be the best time to have sex to increase the chance of conceiving.

The normal test strip, see this for instruction http://babydusts.blogspot.com/2007/04/ovulation-test-results.html

Best time to test it during around 2pm+, and before testing reduce your intake of liquid and going to the toilet for 2-3 hours.

A mini confinement is good for you, drink a little dom every night before you sleep. It helps alot.

Yes you will get through this and it will bring you and your husband even closer together. I have a lovely husband, even after 12 years of marriage he is still a lovely husband, and I find him even more awesome after the incident ^^

 

[redqueen]

Hi Sunbelle:
I drink DOM wine with some warm water after my DnC, now oscasionally I drink it. Because have not finished it. Also can use it to cook fish or meat.

 

[redqueen]

hi ladies:
I find myself getting more impatient during the 2WW after I lost my last pregnancy. It gets frustrating snd feel obsessive... I feel like a stalker stalking myself for symptoms. signzzzzzzzzzzz....

 

[dusty_gecko]

oh so my gynae was worried that mine was ectopic right. had to go back yesterday to do a blood test, a urine test, and another ultrasound to make sure i'm NOT pregnant.

and then this saturday have to go back again to do yet another blood test (to confirm that my hcg levels have gone to zero).

sigh.

everyone's at the clinic checking on their babies, and i'm there to keep making sure i'm not pregnant anymore. the irony the irony.

 

[shiseru]

JTML, the first 2 months I also like you, I felt impatient during the 2ww, and getting SO disappointed when my AF comes. But this month which is the 3rd month of my M/C, i find myself not so anxious and frustrated anymore. I feel much calmer.

dustee, so the scanning everything okay? Wow your gyane very detailed. After my m/c, I went back to my gynae, she only asked me questions and checked my bleeding, 2nd time check up was to do a pap smear, that's all. No blood test or whatsoever. I also heartache when I see so many mummies with babies in their arms at KK - ENVIOUS! Sigh, gotta bear with it, i will have mine healthy baby one day & i look forward. Maybe you should bring a book with you to read when you go for the next check up.

 

[pinky123]

Morning Gals,

Hi Sunbelle,
I did not try the confinement catering. Maybe Joanne can help on this. I remember she tried one of the services.

I didn't take DOM or Yan Mi Jiu. But I read from previous thread that its good for the body. For me when I cook, I will put some mi jiu, made by my mum in the food. Guess all these are good for our health, due to the loss of blood.

Hi JTML,

Relax, Relax.

Ur baby will come soon and u don wan it to be a frowning baby right.

All GALs,

Brand new day. Enjoy ur DAY!!

 

[lux]

JTML, TTC ald? Hope everyone strike a super sticky one before we close the end of the year! =) I also going to try ald... no patience!!! =P

In regards to OPK kit... It didnt work for me because I never ever get a line brighter than the control lines... =( Never mind that I ovulate which I pick up from BBT and those microscopic saliva check which shows fernlike designs when you are ovulating.

Sunbelle, *HUGs* We know the pain only too well. You dont owe anyone any explanation and if you dont want to tell it to colleagues or friends just leave it because it helps that noone ask and I dont have to repeat the story again.Believe it or not, 3 months seems really long in the beginning but move forward a couple of weeks.. 3 months literally over!

dustee, I also dont understand why the gynae dont have 2 sessions.. one for obs and one for gynae.. It was terrible for me during the confirmation of babies no heartbeat at the hospital and the 2 weeks later at the clinic where everyone is checking for the baby growth. Like a constant reminder everyone have we dont.
=(

 

[shiseru]

Jovial I was okay when I took DOM or Yan Mi Jiu during confinement but after 1 month confinement, they are just too heaty to take, so I stopped now. But once in a while, my mom will brew some tonic, my body takes TCM pretty well.

Anyway, yesterday is day 8 of my cycle, so I BD though i was tested negative with the OPK, but it's okay to get lovey dovey hahaha. Most couples finds hard to enjoy their sex life after m/c, so sex becomes a chore, and having sex for the sake for making babies. I was like that for the 1st 2 months after M/C, but this month we dun feel this way, or was it the Rose quartz that I have bought recently triggered the ROMANCE AND PASSION? hahaha...

 

[pinky123]

Shiseru, good to hear that u are enjoying BD with ur hubby.

Me still in a Not so sure stage...(Don know if u understand). On one hand I hope we can have a baby soon, on the other hand, I have some concerns.....

Guess got to take things slowly.

 

[joanne03]

Hi exclr

glad that our first af is here.. Hows ur af?heavy? For me, really heavy.. Today finally 3rd day but still hv to go toilet every hr to make sure i clear it before it flow out.. Really lucky that i am working and not going out.. Phew.. Hope tomorrow will be better.. at least can close this mc episode.. And start a new life again.. Looking forward another two months to pass before i can ttc. Wish u strike this mth..

hi ling,
dun think in time to try ttcbefore yr end since i still hv two months to bu my body..;( but i wish u gals all the best abd strike big time within this yr..

hi dustee and sunbelle
my heart goes out to u. Though we are all very upset but must also take this chance to bu our bodystrong for next coming pregnancy.. Whts over is over. We must look forward now and 化悲愤为力量，tell ourselves we must hv a strong body to prevent same thing happen to us so a confinement is impt for us. For me, i didnt bath for three days then use the herbs to bath and wash hair. Also didnt blow fan at me directly for almost one mth.. Try lie down more too to prevent future backache problem. Try not to sit and stand too long..
As for confinement food, i think i took up natalessential if didnt remember wrongly. The food and soup is gd but heard new baby also not bad. U can try too. lastly. U can drink dom every night and pls drink ur hong zao water for at least one
mth if possible. take care n rest well..

Hi gals
very BUsy at work this wk so didnt write anything till today.. plus heavy af and got to wake up at night makes me more tired..;p but still glad af finally come.. will Be a silent Reader still..

 

[shiseru]

Jovial, i fully understand how you feel, coz i feel the same way too, On one hand, we would love to have a baby, on the other hand I am really scare. But I ask myself a question, am i ready to try again, & it looks like my answer is yes. Guess I will wear the no fear T-shirt and go forward.

Joanne, I heard AF heavy is becoz you eat lotsa tonic during confinement probably. Mine was heavy for the 1st 3 days too, gotta change the pad every 2-3 hours.

 

[elxir]

hi Joanne,
Mine was heavy on first 2 days. Had cramps on day 2, when I was on my way back to SG. yesterday day 3 was light, today day 4 even lighter. mine is like pre-m/c days period lo. i was worried it will be very heavy and painful. ;p

 

[joanne03]

Hi shiseru
oh is it.. Didnt know is due to the bu.. So 2nd af wun be so heavy le, is it? All same base on ur experience..

Hi exclr
me still very heavy on 3rd day but can see start reducing.. Think tomorrow shd be better..;p last time i always got headache but surprise this time dun hv.. Maybe due to the bu and hv more blood.. Lucky very slight clamp only.. Hope all will be over soon..

 

[stefie2104]

Hi JTML,

Baby dust to you

Hope to hear good news from you soon

Jia You

Hi elxir,

TTC soon? Babydust to you too

Jia You

Hi Ladies,

My mood swing is quite bad, just had a deep cut from washing one of the can (for recycling). Called my hubby, he like no concern like that " as long no much bleed can already" I was expecting him to sayang me.......I just put down the phone and went to see dr and was given a injection, my dr very nice, he asked, "painful?" I just answered not as painful as hormones injection

I am more sensitive now maybe due to PMS. This mood swing like last very long.

Now I am "eating" my notes for Friday's exam. No mood to study. Have planned for facial at The body shop after friday morning paper. Now hope I can clear my this exam

I am in one of the zzzzzz mood. Just bear with me. Exam stress + Hubby "insensitive"

Babydust to those who are TTC soon

Jia you.

 

[redqueen]

hi Ling:
ya lor, I "TTC" in a sense. But will still kan chiong to see if pregnant. It is like after a pregnancy lost, suddenly I don't really think first priority is work etc. Although I work very hard but still I want a baby badly. Last time my viewpoint is don't be so eager to have parent as parenting will consume everything you got...NOt t that I don't like it, I felt be ppl parent must be good parent so have kid better do nice nice so I cannot play already. In a sense now it is already a lot of emotions and time and money put in...and no kids. hiaz now I like getting impatient to have +ve and I don't even know what is driving it. It is just a deep sad feeling after the pregnancy lost and the single mindedness to want a baby. wierd right.

 

[redqueen]

HI Stefie:
heheh I think your hubby very typical man hahahh, they don't understand women tell them something so that they can express some concern. They just measure "how big is the problem" then okay small, then "is it settled" then "OK, don't bother me" hahahhahah, their "typical solve the problem" response.

PMS they also don't understand. Actually my husband thought I was okay after 2nd AF, but the second AF was the more PMS one, in a sense I really felt sad for no reason.... then husband "why you so back to last time miscarriage mood???" I cannot explain....

Joanne: I had very heavy AF first AF. After that second AF only heavy first 2-3 days, then off to spotting suddenly. hahahh good in a way also but different ...AF seems to have changed.

 

[elxir]

hi stefie,
yes, i planning for tcc soon! hope can get healthy baby soon. this time i will surely take care and listen to doctor if he wants me rest. hope history will not repeat itself.

dont be upset over minor stuff. many men are like tat... they tend not to sweet talk especially after being together for long time.

do relax since your exams round the corner. must take care and look forward to AF.

You jiayou too.

 

[shiseru]

Stefie, hope you pass your exam. Ganbatte! If suddenly feel frustrated, come in here and rant. Other than that, dun take your hubby's response too seriously, is he still very busy with work and sleeping late?

Joanne, the 2nd AF will be back to normal. Only the first return menses is usually heavy if one takes lotsa tonic.

Mummies to be, we are organizing a meetup with other mummies in this forum (claire, monster, sweetie and a few more). You will find under TTC and 2ww thread. Anyone interested to join? Suggested one of the fri or sat evening.

 

[lux]

Hi JTML..

I know! It is like everything not that important in life anymore because like nothing as crucial as being a parent. Now thinking back I abhor why I even place my work before bearing children. This is one of my biggest regret. You are definetely not alone.. We just want something to replace that gap =(

Stefie, Dont get impatient with your hubby.. everything be normal again once PMS over. =)Sometimes we want attention but those ninny we get as husbands at time dont reciprocate.

Girls about the tonic = heavy AF.. I took so much tonic and I nary get any AF.. Worrying loh! Ai yoh.. okay I am going to relax about the AF thingy.. too panicky

 

[dreamiez]

erh. the heavy AF thingy. works the other way around for me wor. first AF always okay not so heavy after m/c. its the 2nd and 3rd one that drives my body mad and tired.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi JTML,

Thanks. In the end my hubby tried to get my fav cheese cake from coffee bean, but didn't managed to get. At least he tried to please me. Feel much better. My mood swing seems to calm down alot, maybe today weather siao siao, rain and shine, rain and shine the whole day. Make my mood swing up & down

We will have our wishes come true. We would have healthy babies in arms to bring home. Jia You

Be positive and must Relax okay

Babydust to you

Hi elxir,

I am feeling better already

Thanks to my dear Jie meis here for the support. My mood swing is quite bad, my hubby is still his normal self, just that I am too sensitive now.

I will let nature takes its own course on TTC, I seems to abit ready and not ready yet. So it is up to God whether He want to give me or not.

Must relax and positive okay

Babydust to you

Waiting for your good news okay.

Hi Shiseru,

Thanks. Can pass I happy liao. He sleep at midnight, I will sleep earlier, 11pm. I just ignore him, but I will let him know I am upset.

Now no mood to BD, cos of exam plus mood swing, very tired, keep sleeping early, these few days still have chance to take nap. Shiok man

Hi Ling,

Thank you. Feeling better already, now I more sticky to my hubby. So after he came home, I feel much better already. Trying to catch thing up

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for your support

Really make me feel that it is not end of the world. We will have our wishes come true okay. Healthy babies in our arms to bring home. God will not forget us. We will get the best, since we have loss our babies. Jia you

Be positive

We will make it

 

[joanne03]

Hi stefle
glad that u and ur hubby is back to normal again.. all the best to ur exam on coming friday too..btw, u post at 11:55 last night.. Thought u say u sleep at 11pm usually.. Keke..

Anyway, take care n hope ur af will come soon..

Hi girls
think the af will depend on individual ba.. For me, last night finally got a gd sleep.. heavy af yesterday then at night finally stop suddenly.. Only spotting liao.. Think really same like most of u.. Only 2nd n 3rd day heavy.. Am very happy now that all really going over soon.. am so worry before this af..

 

[joanne03]

Hi stefle
glad that u and ur hubby is back to normal again.. all the best to ur exam on coming friday too..btw, u post at 11:55 last night.. Thought u say u sleep at 11pm usually.. Keke..

Anyway, take care n hope ur af will come soon..

Hi girls
think the af will depend on individual ba.. For me, last night finally got a gd sleep.. heavy af yesterday then at night finally stop suddenly.. Only spotting liao.. Think really same like most of u.. Only 2nd n 3rd day heavy.. Am very happy now that all really going over soon.. am so worry before this af..

 

[sunbelle]

Hi Shiseru,

yeah i will try using OPK when we are ready to TTC again. i am in no hurry now cos i tot the best impt tin is to build up my health and the rest can wait. somehow wanted so muchie to do tins which during pregancy cannot do e.g. like going on tours, dyeing hair , goin spa etc.

gals :when do u tink we can go spa for massage huh? tot of usiing this period to lose a bit of weight to get fit for next preganncy too. hmmhmm somehow i felt my weight is oso an issue.

Hi Joanna,

thanks for ur contact. i have went to order from ihost cos they are transparent with their menus and i find that toking to the in charge is good. cos he is good to share with me that he can replace tins which i dun wan. yeah will let all know if the food is good then next time, when we deliver our baby, we can also consider the confinement food if we are doing without a confinement lady.

Ling : you are rite in the sense that we dun owe anyone any explaination jus that now i am on long hospitalisation leave so everyone must be wondering why. actually by now, all of them know i am preggie. but guess breaking the bad news is hard. i dun even noe what sentence can i text my collegues. any suggestion? seemd inapproriate to use my baby passed away?

gals, thank you for making me feel so muchie better. eversince i read the postings from these threads and when i realise that i am not alone out there, i somehow feels that i am not the only one facing this situation. somehow, yesterdae went to see the chinese physicain, he did say can get some "ai tai yao" from him? but issit goin to help? i am sad cos when i tink if i had done so, will it save my baby? i spoke to my hubby and my hubby said that there is no way i can take the herbs cos i was almost daily jabs.

hmmhm just have to learn to let go and move on from here. no point dwelling on this matter anymore. i guess is realli time for me to look forward and build my health and fitness. do u gals engagae a malay massage lady to do the confinement for u huh? or rather do we need to do? i realli have no idea.

baby dust to all. i oso sincerely wish all have babies soon hehe

 

[pinky123]

Morning gals,

For me, AF is as usual, 1st day light then more heavy 2nd and 3rd day. 4th day light 5 day almost gone.

Hope my body clock goes back to normal.

For those jie mei who AF not yet report. Don't be stress. (i noe its difficult) maybe becos u r busy with work or studies thus come late, just like normal time.

Hi Stefle,

Glad that u r ok again. Mus be those hormones playing tricks again. Sometime guys just don understand. But they do care.

We, gals just need to be "understanding"

or we will be upset.

 

[shiseru]

Good morning everyone ^^ stefie, great you are feeling better. Take it easy man...

Ling, I have the same regret as you, placing my career as priority, family and motherhood as second. But I came to realise that I have changed, and thanks to jovial's post, she posted - "she choose to believe, believe that every happening in our lives is a lesson we can learn something from and grow stronger later."

Yes I understand and I am seeing the changes in me now. When i was pregnant with my baby, I stopped smoking and I did not pick up again after I have lost her. I used to be very career minded but family has become my priority now, I will make sure I spend some quality time with my family. Motherhood has also become more important, and career is no longer number 1 in my list. So it's not late to change the mindset, and now is the time to look forward to motherhood!

sunbelle, before my mc, i have never bother to go read what is important when one's TTC. After mc, I read medical books, articles and what is important when TTC and during pregnancy. I make adjustment to my lifestyles, eat a healthy diet and cut down on junk food, I have been exercising regularly so I just maintained but I need to shed off a few more kgs before I can go back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I have never put in enough effort to all of these before my mc, but I will do my best from now onwards...

 

[joanne03]

Hi jovial
hee.. I jus now go surf net.. Then realise i also get my confinement food from ihost..keke..
U engage how many days food? I get only seven days.. The food and soup is not bad but i got dirahroe take their food for seven days..;p just one time per day.. Not non stop run to toilet.. Keke.. Maybe my stomach cant take too many ginger ba.. But last time when i take confinement food cook by my confibement lady after give birth to my boy.. I am fine leh.. Anyway, jus lose stool every once per day so u may not hv it.. I know is due to the food as after i stop take it, no more loose stool le.. Think maybe due to the ginger??? Btw,i remember they refund me one time of the meal as i say i want to change but he say the kitchen forgotten and i told him i dun dare take one of the dish plus the other dish pig liver still not fully cooked after i remind him when the first day also pig liver and can see blood so i tell him mus fully cook.. Then the last dish he got to refund since one more time pig liver not fully cook and the other dish i dun dare take and had request for exchange but he didnt.. So i left only the soup to take and one meal at $27plus not cheap.. But he is nice willing to refund me the money..
hope u can take their food well.. Take care..

 

[dusty_gecko]

hi hi

so are you ladies all trying after the first AF already? since i still have one more blood test on sat to confirm that i'm NOT pregnant with an ectopic egg hiding somewhere, i guess right now i'm not thinking about conceiving.

hi joanne
like you i have one older child. 16 mths. and she was very sick during the week i had my m/c and d&c. i could barely rest at all coz had to keep monitoring her and comforting her. but it is a blessing coz i just focus on her instead of the m/c and i give thanks that i have one healthy child already.

hi sunbelle
at first i was thinking, maybe in no hurry to TTC again. but but but.... what if... its like i have this fear, if i wait too long , and then it's a m/c again.....

of coz it doesn't help to have negative thoughts and fears. but maybe right now still grieving a bit. very hard to shake off.

slowly slowly every night before i sleep, i visualise myself getting pregnant, having a safe pregnancy, then visualizing myself holding a healthy baby in my arms .... a bit like day dreaming but it's like asking God "this is what i want, pls pls?"

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Joanne,

Yep, yesterday slept late cos want to have "quality" time with hubby

Hi Shiseru,

Thanks for the encouragement. I am done with my exam preparation, will be able to make it, but not with flying colours. Can pass canliao. Will be preparing for next paper, exam on next thu, would be easy paper cos more of typing docs using MS words. Now my confidence is back, feeling calmer.

Hi Jovial,

Thanks, My siaoness is better now. Now relaxing at home.

Hi sunbelle,

Glad that you are feeling better.

Don't think back what you should do and shouldn't. Everything happened for a reason.

Antai yao can get from Chinese sinseh, it may or may not help. What is important is to take care of your body now before TTC, baby healthy you will have less worry and enjoy the pregnancy more. Now taking folic acid and multi-vits and seeing sinsei for tiao body will help alot in future pregnancies. If you are on hormones injections, just let your sinsei know, they will give whatever is necessary.

Don't worry what to say to your colleagues, they will know when they see you back without belly. They will be sensitive enough to know what happen. Don't feel comfortable to answer them, just tell them woman sickness. They will just get the hint. Going back to work helps alot in getting on with life. I feel so much happier after I went back to work. My 2 weeks HL at home is such a torture cos keep thinking about my babies and alot of negative stuff. Heng managed to go for a short get away on my 1st week of HL, it helps alot inhealing and bonding with hubby

Take care

Rest as much as possible.


Hi Dustee,

TTC when you are ready. I may take longer cos am letting nature takes its own course. Don't want to worry to much about it. Take care

 

[twinkle_33]

I agree with Stefie, going back to work helps a lot as it distracts us. My gynae intend to give me 1 month HL (Cos miscarriage at 21 weeks) I got back after 2 weeks HL though still physically weak (had confinement food for 1 month). It's not easy really ...had to take a deep breath before I can step in to my office. People tends to ask when they see my flat tummy but I just gave a simple reply on my miscarriage. But once you take that 1st steps, it'll become easier.

DOM is good ...took almost 1 bottle during my confinement. Help in clearing of discharge and improve blood circulation.

It's coming to 6 weeks since my MC but menses still not coming yet ...feeling some cramp already since last week. Should I be worry?!

 

[redqueen]

hi Yeng: It may be normal since you were quite far alone in your preganncy. For me, it was early pregnancy lost, my gynae tell me expected 6-8 weeks, but if 8 weeks AF have not return go back. what did your gynae say?

 

[shiseru]

Yeng, ours were a mid term pregnancy termination. It usually takes 6 to 8 weeks before 1st menses returned. Mine came 4 weeks after the stillbirth, I was surprised it returned so early. One of the mummies from another forum waited 7 weeks or so before the menses returned, she lost her baby at week 19.

I suggest you give it another 2 weeks. If still not come, consult your gynae. Have you went for the 2nd check up?

You were brave. Prior to me returning to office, my boss and one of the good colleague sent an email to everyone in the company reminding them to be supportive and not ask me questions. In fact, most dun dare to even come near me when i returned to office. I remembered during the first week, there were 2 who weren't aware about my incident and when they asked me, i broke down and cried...