Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands

Singapore marriage law is consider tighter than other country which have rules such as only allow to divorce after 3 years of marriage, HDB only can sell after 5 years, etc.. Having strong measures will discourage in certain extend but it will also cause the victim in a longer suffering situations. We are stuck in this toxic marriage because of all the measures and hv to wait for the right time to file divorce.

If a marriage need to be borned by rules and regulations, then what's true love with true heart? When there are more rules, the more people don't want to follow. They will try all ways to find loop hole unless they are determine in heart. Just my two cents of thoughts

Maybe that is why love is blind. When you love someone, you think he/she is the one.

LKY time, there are a lot of rules and regulation, I think we did well. Looking back, we think he did well too.
 


I believe god will protect good people.. 狗男女 like them won’t last long..

Confirm god will step in but depending on when god decides to step in.
My gf's ex hubby lost his affair partner and job after he sign the divorce papers. He was staying with his brother and he got kicked out too. Whatever my gf suffered, he suffered just as much. Karma.
 
Singapore marriage law is consider tighter than other country which have rules such as only allow to divorce after 3 years of marriage, HDB only can sell after 5 years, etc.. Having strong measures will discourage in certain extend but it will also cause the victim in a longer suffering situations. We are stuck in this toxic marriage because of all the measures and hv to wait for the right time to file divorce.

If a marriage need to be borned by rules and regulations, then what's true love with true heart? When there are more rules, the more people don't want to follow. They will try all ways to find loop hole unless they are determine in heart. Just my two cents of thoughts
if there is no rules or regulations then more people will be irresponsible. giving birth to children and simply doesnt wan to take care of them.

jumping from one partners to another without concern of the consequence of divorce.
 
We believe 好心有好报... 人在做,天在看..
it’s easy to get married but when it come to divorce it’s so difficult.. need to wait and wait.. have anyone think of meeting up ladies to team up and go confront 3rd party? :cool: Have anyone slap the 3rd party before? I really feel like give my hub 3rd party one good slap.. this kind of bitch like them think of (he got wife and children still come look for me) if we don’t do something they think they feel PROUD!
 
We believe 好心有好报... 人在做,天在看..
it’s easy to get married but when it come to divorce it’s so difficult.. need to wait and wait.. have anyone think of meeting up ladies to team up and go confront 3rd party? :cool: Have anyone slap the 3rd party before? I really feel like give my hub 3rd party one good slap.. this kind of bitch like them think of (he got wife and children still come look for me) if we don’t do something they think they feel PROUD!
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.
 
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.
Thinking of going marriage counselling.. but I think he won’t go because (1. haven go say no use.. 2. scare shame telling people what he have done) he if doesn’t want to work in our marriage.. why am I putting effort into it.. :( he didn’t even tell me what’s our problem and this come so suddenly..
 
i think no point to confront he 3rd party...ultimately it takes 2 hands to clap..if really cannot salvage and the hb doesnt want to change, divorce is the best option.

Many people think that by not confronting the 3rd party is the best way forward. The truth is the society does need some cleanup.

I believe this generation where many women are working, we no longer need to depend on men greatly. I believe the newer generation women will confront the 3rd party (at workplace, her home, public) without hesitation. If she dares to be 3rd party, it also means she is prepared to be confronted, clapped, verbally abused in public. Singapore is a small country, it is not a place to play such games in the dark. (I have heard of girls who are **** buddy and get passed around the circle of guy friends. It's very sad and I think these girls are mentally or emotionally unwell. They definitely need to seek help.)

No girl with the right mind will think it is correct to be attached (or become friends with benefit) with a married man who has a wife and children. No husband who love their wife and children will do this to hurt them. A man will do this because they are loser, trying to prove their worth through their dick.

Our society will become more and more open, such news will be more and more common on social media, words of mouth, in our industry. The more people wants to hide it, the more people will know and expose it.
 
May I suggest you be the lady you were before marriage.

1. What were you like before marriage? Do you like to go out with your friends, do you like to go facial or shopping?

2. What about your size/shape? Have you put on weight after giving birth? Do you think you want to slim down? Have you thought of exercising to slim down? (I do recommend brisk walking and running till you sweat). Sweating makes us feel good. And when you slim down, you feel good and look good.

3. For household chores, do you have a domestic helper to help you? Have you considered getting one if you don't have one. If you are currently a stay at home mum, try to find a job. Use the money to hire a helper.

4. Whatever he is saying now, just listen but don't act. Unless you see them with your own 2 eyes, don't act. If you really see them, go up and pull her hair and give her 1 tight slap across.

5. Whenever you are angry, ask yourself whether you can still hang on for children or not. The day you go up to 3rd party to find her at office/home, you must be prepared to let go of your hubby. And when you go up to 3rdparty at her office/home, you might as well make your way to hubby's office too. There is no more difference as it would be the end anyway. If their love is so strong and the girl is prepared to be labelled as 3rd party, they may survive it.

Lastly, this is not your fault and you are not unwanted.

Your husband (东西臭了,苍蝇特别多)is already rotten, that's why there are so many flies (3rd party). Only rotten food and flies can blend together.

Don't lower yourself to be in the same class as them. 门当户对很重要。
 
May I suggest you be the lady you were before marriage.

1. What were you like before marriage? Do you like to go out with your friends, do you like to go facial or shopping?

2. What about your size/shape? Have you put on weight after giving birth? Do you think you want to slim down? Have you thought of exercising to slim down? (I do recommend brisk walking and running till you sweat). Sweating makes us feel good. And when you slim down, you feel good and look good.

3. For household chores, do you have a domestic helper to help you? Have you considered getting one if you don't have one. If you are currently a stay at home mum, try to find a job. Use the money to hire a helper.

4. Whatever he is saying now, just listen but don't act. Unless you see them with your own 2 eyes, don't act. If you really see them, go up and pull her hair and give her 1 tight slap across.

5. Whenever you are angry, ask yourself whether you can still hang on for children or not. The day you go up to 3rd party to find her at office/home, you must be prepared to let go of your hubby. And when you go up to 3rdparty at her office/home, you might as well make your way to hubby's office too. There is no more difference as it would be the end anyway. If their love is so strong and the girl is prepared to be labelled as 3rd party, they may survive it.

Lastly, this is not your fault and you are not unwanted.

Your husband (东西臭了,苍蝇特别多)is already rotten, that's why there are so many flies (3rd party). Only rotten food and flies can blend together.

Don't lower yourself to be in the same class as them. 门当户对很重要。
how to go back to before marriage. age will catch up with everyone. no matter how you make yourself to be slimmer or how much botox. how you compare with a lady that is much younger???

if a man wan to change heart, nothing cant stop him.
you go out with friend to much, they will make noise and if you want to employ a maid, they will say you wasting his money!
 
how to go back to before marriage. age will catch up with everyone. no matter how you make yourself to be slimmer or how much botox. how you compare with a lady that is much younger???

if a man wan to change heart, nothing cant stop him.
you go out with friend to much, they will make noise and if you want to employ a maid, they will say you wasting his money!

I think the point is not to compare yourself with the other woman. She has youth, but you have experience and class (you are not brought up wrongly)

Yes you are correct, if the man change heart, nothing can stop him. If you don't try to win him back, he will seriously not even think twice or regret his decision.

I don't think there is anything wrong with women having "me time". If he doesn't want to waste money then he has to help with the chores and kids. These days, it's quite fair in terms of equality. Our parents sent boys as well as girls to school. Don't make waste money as an excuse for him to find excitement outside. And don't make waste money as an excuse for yourself to self destruct.

I sincerely hope the best for you. What I am suggesting is to love yourself (self love) more. Pamper yourself a little. Think about your parents who love you and give you the best. All I am asking you to do is to give yourself the same.
 
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
 
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
Do you mean that this second hubby of yours cheated?
 
Hi I hope this forum is still opens for infidelity support. My husband had been cheating multiple times. The latest one happened for few months this year and I caught it when it already ended.
I am lost for words and I feel like I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you
Sad to hear what happened. Counselling only works if both wish to reconcile and put in effort together.. If you are the only one that wants to hold on to the relationship, then couple/marriage counselling probably not helpful.
What's your challenge being alone in Singapore?
 
I'm not sure if it happened to any of you, but ever since the first divorce, I have been isolating more because I am ashamed with my life. This puts me in a very lonely situation and very few perspective.
The only reason I am not going to divorce is because I haven't tried counselling and I will be alone in Singapore if I do leave husband. I hope I can get a bit of insight, support or any advice from you

One of the reasons for isolating yourself could be because you are going through a transformation now. In simple term, it means getting to know yourself more at a deeper level. It may even leads you to be questioning yourself in many different aspects of your life.

And you don't have to feel alone. You are just not used to getting about life doing things that make you happy on your own. :)
 
Do you mean that this second hubby of yours cheated?

This is multiple times already.

Sad to hear what happened. Counselling only works if both wish to reconcile and put in effort together.. If you are the only one that wants to hold on to the relationship, then couple/marriage counselling probably not helpful.
What's your challenge being alone in Singapore?

Thank you for this insight. I agree about that. We both must want to hold the relationship. We are now hashing out what is a marriage as it had always been dysfunctional. He now said he wanted to go for counselling but I'm not sure of the entirety of it all. Challenge - I have to restart my life. It could be a good thing but it's scary too. Maybe I need to explore on that thought.

One of the reasons for isolating yourself could be because you are going through a transformation now. In simple term, it means getting to know yourself more at a deeper level. It may even leads you to be questioning yourself in many different aspects of your life.

And you don't have to feel alone. You are just not used to getting about life doing things that make you happy on your own. :)

Thank you for this! Maybe I am in the right direction after all, transforming to be someone I should be even in difficult time.
I initially just wanted to share my life but sharing my life in this marriage was so destructive. I sometimes don't know how to live day by day. But I'm doing my best. So thank you for all the replies!
 
This is multiple times already.



Thank you for this insight. I agree about that. We both must want to hold the relationship. We are now hashing out what is a marriage as it had always been dysfunctional. He now said he wanted to go for counselling but I'm not sure of the entirety of it all. Challenge - I have to restart my life. It could be a good thing but it's scary too. Maybe I need to explore on that thought.



Thank you for this! Maybe I am in the right direction after all, transforming to be someone I should be even in difficult time.
I initially just wanted to share my life but sharing my life in this marriage was so destructive. I sometimes don't know how to live day by day. But I'm doing my best. So thank you for all the replies!
Hello, you’re not alone.. don’t feel it that way.. jia you!
 
Don't worry. We all been through it.. I'm not local too, I'm a Malaysian with spore PR, moved to spore because of him and settled down. My family is not with me in spore.

But this doesn't stop me from leaving him after what he did to me. I tried giving him chances but he didn't appreciate any of it.. Agree with Dr tooth, you just not used to it. Take sometime and meet the you that hidden and changed for years.

Learn to live with yourself and love yourself. We always forget this part and keep giving in/contributing and forget ourselves. Stay strong!

Everyone can live without anyone one!
 
We believe 好心有好报... 人在做,天在看..
it’s easy to get married but when it come to divorce it’s so difficult.. need to wait and wait.. have anyone think of meeting up ladies to team up and go confront 3rd party? :cool: Have anyone slap the 3rd party before? I really feel like give my hub 3rd party one good slap.. this kind of bitch like them think of (he got wife and children still come look for me) if we don’t do something they think they feel PROUD!
 
Hi, happen to see your post, but how did u found out abt the 3rd party and did your hubby explain to you on why he go find the 3rd party?
 
Hi, accidentally chance upon this thread.
Used to purchase children s clothing in Singaporemotherhood when my kids were young.

Is this thread still alive?
 
I m in a marriage of 26 years.
My Husband has been a loving father and Husband till 3 yrs ago. Has affair with subordinate pcr who is half his age working in a project lasted 2 years. She made the first move to initiate movie date which he accepted.
He Ended affair unwillingly (initiAlly wanted both sides which I rejected)
We went for counselling and our first year of reconciliation was quite bad as I was very sensitive to tv programmes relating to affair , places and anything associated with pcr. To him, he just wanted to move on and did not understand why I still hap on it.
Last year, I felt we were going to make it. We had spent time ourselves over weekend. He s still loving, but this year Jan I was shocked he went secretly to meet the same third party to send her off , she going back China. He said for good (I don’t believe)
He claimed third party contacted him a week ago before the flight date.

From then on, he changes drastically.
When I blew up at him for seeing third party , for not being transparent , he declares that his intention to continue to contact 3rd party and he is not asking if I m accepting or not.
He becomes very cold.
When I bring up this issue of him to
Continue contact , he s not happy asking why I don’t adapt n adjust ! By doing this, it’s forcing him to be OUT. He’s not going to let go.

I have been a stay home mum for the past 20 years. Not financially independent. He has the upperhand. He probably thinks i
Can’t do anything.

We r in early 50s. My kids are young adults still studying.
I felt mentally torturing to see him everyday at home (he works fr home) , constant reminder of the pain he inflicted).
I no longer feel happy going out with him (we are in talking terms but distant)

I hv considered divorce but with no job and little savings, I have to
Forsee what financial problems lies ahead.
If hv a job ,can I afford to Buy a flat if to sell matrimonial house , lawyer fees .......

I m helpless in my own situation.
 
I m in a marriage of 26 years.
My Husband has been a loving father and Husband till 3 yrs ago. Has affair with subordinate pcr who is half his age working in a project lasted 2 years. She made the first move to initiate movie date which he accepted.
He Ended affair unwillingly (initiAlly wanted both sides which I rejected)
We went for counselling and our first year of reconciliation was quite bad as I was very sensitive to tv programmes relating to affair , places and anything associated with pcr. To him, he just wanted to move on and did not understand why I still hap on it.
Last year, I felt we were going to make it. We had spent time ourselves over weekend. He s still loving, but this year Jan I was shocked he went secretly to meet the same third party to send her off , she going back China. He said for good (I don’t believe)
He claimed third party contacted him a week ago before the flight date.

From then on, he changes drastically.
When I blew up at him for seeing third party , for not being transparent , he declares that his intention to continue to contact 3rd party and he is not asking if I m accepting or not.
He becomes very cold.
When I bring up this issue of him to
Continue contact , he s not happy asking why I don’t adapt n adjust ! By doing this, it’s forcing him to be OUT. He’s not going to let go.

I have been a stay home mum for the past 20 years. Not financially independent. He has the upperhand. He probably thinks i
Can’t do anything.

We r in early 50s. My kids are young adults still studying.
I felt mentally torturing to see him everyday at home (he works fr home) , constant reminder of the pain he inflicted).
I no longer feel happy going out with him (we are in talking terms but distant)

I hv considered divorce but with no job and little savings, I have to
Forsee what financial problems lies ahead.
If hv a job ,can I afford to Buy a flat if to sell matrimonial house , lawyer fees .......

I m helpless in my own situation.
Hello good afternoon to you, sorry to heard that after being married for 26 years.. I understand it’s not really easy.. I’m also just a stay home mom with no income etc.. my children are in primary school.. and our hdb still under housing loan.. if you need people to chat to you can send me a private message
 
I m in a marriage of 26 years.
My Husband has been a loving father and Husband till 3 yrs ago. Has affair with subordinate pcr who is half his age working in a project lasted 2 years. She made the first move to initiate movie date which he accepted.
He Ended affair unwillingly (initiAlly wanted both sides which I rejected)
We went for counselling and our first year of reconciliation was quite bad as I was very sensitive to tv programmes relating to affair , places and anything associated with pcr. To him, he just wanted to move on and did not understand why I still hap on it.
Last year, I felt we were going to make it. We had spent time ourselves over weekend. He s still loving, but this year Jan I was shocked he went secretly to meet the same third party to send her off , she going back China. He said for good (I don’t believe)
He claimed third party contacted him a week ago before the flight date.

From then on, he changes drastically.
When I blew up at him for seeing third party , for not being transparent , he declares that his intention to continue to contact 3rd party and he is not asking if I m accepting or not.
He becomes very cold.
When I bring up this issue of him to
Continue contact , he s not happy asking why I don’t adapt n adjust ! By doing this, it’s forcing him to be OUT. He’s not going to let go.

I have been a stay home mum for the past 20 years. Not financially independent. He has the upperhand. He probably thinks i
Can’t do anything.

We r in early 50s. My kids are young adults still studying.
I felt mentally torturing to see him everyday at home (he works fr home) , constant reminder of the pain he inflicted).
I no longer feel happy going out with him (we are in talking terms but distant)

I hv considered divorce but with no job and little savings, I have to
Forsee what financial problems lies ahead.
If hv a job ,can I afford to Buy a flat if to sell matrimonial house , lawyer fees .......

I m helpless in my own situation.

Get the evidence and blacklist that women.
 
Hi everyone, I’m in a marriage of 20 years with 4 teenagers. I’m a SAHM since day one living with my MIL and GMIL. Life took a turned when my GMIL got a stroke and was bed ridden in late 2019. I became a full time caregiver to my GMIL till she left in Nov 2020. Everyday was exhausting having to care for all even with MIL’s help. I admit my husband was neglected but i was mentally and physically drained. This lasted till July 2021 when my MIL was diagnosed with cancer in the middle and left.

Since then everything seems to be different. Children are more independent, me and my husband has lesser communication. He complains i didn’t care for him and said ‘outsiders care for him more than i care’! I question if he has someone outside and he answered ‘why do you even care’? I do suspect but no evidence. I have no income, i can’t afford a PI. After the confrontation, we hardly communicate and there are times he doesn’t even come home. I mention divorce but he refused.

I feel lonely and helpless. Everyday is just chores and chores. 2 years i wasn’t able to step out of the house having to care for 2 old mothers. Sorry, i’m not complaining, i think it’s a good deed. Just don’t understand why i’m in this situation. I head my friends advise to go work and i did. i’m happy at work. After work i’m occupied with chores and catching up with the kids. Everyday is filled but quiet times are hard to bear. Especially the lonely night trying to get to sleep. Life wasn’t like that before, now i even hate the weekends.

These days i’m being pressurised by my husband to quit my job. He complains the kids aren’t being well taken care of. He needs someone at home to be there all time for the children. The fact that no one is home for the kids is bothering him. I’m feeling suffocated.
 
Sorry I don’t have good advice as I’m not around your age, but would like to say…

Your kids have grown up and it’s time you shift your priorities to yourself instead of giving 110% to your family..
If work makes you happy, then continue doing it!
happy mum happy family. Self love is important.

If your husband need someone to be home for whatever reasons, why don’t your family consider to engage a helper? Assuming he’s requesting you to resign means he’s comfortable as a single income family, so definitely he can afford a domestic help.
 
Sorry I don’t have good advice as I’m not around your age, but would like to say…

Your kids have grown up and it’s time you shift your priorities to yourself instead of giving 110% to your family..
If work makes you happy, then continue doing it!
happy mum happy family. Self love is important.

If your husband need someone to be home for whatever reasons, why don’t your family consider to engage a helper? Assuming he’s requesting you to resign means he’s comfortable as a single income family, so definitely he can afford a domestic help.
Family isn’t comfortable have a domestic helper. We didn’t have it since day one. Children are very disciplined so it’s not the matter of having someone to clean up after their mess. He just feel rest assured someone is there for the children at all times.
 
Yes, he does.
Have you ever tried to communicate with him and understand he demands. Do you have your support from your kids? If yes, perhaps it might be good for them to speak to the dad and convince him.
In my frank opinion, it’s safer and better to have your own income and save as much as possible, especially now you are suspecting of his behaviour.
You had already done so much for the family.. including taken care of the 2 old folks and yet he is being u appreciative and getting comfort elsewhere putting the blame on you that being neglected… it’s just HOLLY BULLSHITTING!!!
As a woman, better be an asset than liability and be independent. Being able to spend the $$$ without accountable to anyone.
However, most importantly you must be HAPPY for who you are and what you want
 
Hi single parents who have shared your woes, wonder how you are doing now.. Hope you have been well. Take care
 
New here. I read all the posts in this Support Group and I just want to say I understand how you feel. I'm not married but I was about to be married when I found out he emotionally cheated on me with his colleague in April 2022. When I confronted him, he denied and so did his colleague. They texted late at night and often shared about personal interests through texts. He started dressing up differently, and was mean to me. We were just a few months away to our wedding. I was under a lot of stress planning it alone because he said he has work to do (for us). I believed him when he said it wasn't what I thought it was, gave him a chance and we started all over again. But 3 nights ago, I found out my suspicion was correct. He did cheat on me. Somehow, God lead me to that piece of information that I needed to find closure. I tried to end my life yesterday as I was unable to process everything. Now, I am re-evaluating our relationship, his manipulations, lies and I'm thinking of a way out. I'm 34 this year. Wasted 2.5 years of my life with someone who is undeserving of my love and loyalty.
 
Hi everyone, I’m in a marriage of 20 years with 4 teenagers. I’m a SAHM since day one living with my MIL and GMIL. Life took a turned when my GMIL got a stroke and was bed ridden in late 2019. I became a full time caregiver to my GMIL till she left in Nov 2020. Everyday was exhausting having to care for all even with MIL’s help. I admit my husband was neglected but i was mentally and physically drained. This lasted till July 2021 when my MIL was diagnosed with cancer in the middle and left.

Since then everything seems to be different. Children are more independent, me and my husband has lesser communication. He complains i didn’t care for him and said ‘outsiders care for him more than i care’! I question if he has someone outside and he answered ‘why do you even care’? I do suspect but no evidence. I have no income, i can’t afford a PI. After the confrontation, we hardly communicate and there are times he doesn’t even come home. I mention divorce but he refused.

I feel lonely and helpless. Everyday is just chores and chores. 2 years i wasn’t able to step out of the house having to care for 2 old mothers. Sorry, i’m not complaining, i think it’s a good deed. Just don’t understand why i’m in this situation. I head my friends advise to go work and i did. i’m happy at work. After work i’m occupied with chores and catching up with the kids. Everyday is filled but quiet times are hard to bear. Especially the lonely night trying to get to sleep. Life wasn’t like that before, now i even hate the weekends.

These days i’m being pressurised by my husband to quit my job. He complains the kids aren’t being well taken care of. He needs someone at home to be there all time for the children. The fact that no one is home for the kids is bothering him. I’m feeling suffocated.

Hi Camich. Your situation seems similar to mom's experience 24 years ago. My siblings and I are 4 of us. My mom was a SAHM when she found out my dad had an affair. She had a hunch that he was unfaithful hence hired a PI. Indeed, her hunch was true. After evaluating my dad's restrictive behaviour towards my mom's social life, my mom concluded that it was because my dad was afraid that if she was out there, there is higher chance of him being found out. The infidelity has caused her so much emotional pain. I had only wish she had left him then. Now history repeats itself, my partner cheated on me.
 
Hi is this thread still alive? Just found out my loving husband is visiting ktv and massage palors, im broken. Really cannot believe he had a second life out there. Ive been fooled. I honestly do not know what to do. How are u ladies doing?
 
Hi is this thread still alive? Just found out my loving husband is visiting ktv and massage palors, im broken. Really cannot believe he had a second life out there. Ive been fooled. I honestly do not know what to do. How are u ladies doing?
Does he frequent there with business associates or he is engrossed to go ktv?
If he goes there once in a while maybe still ok. But if he goes there frequently then have to be careful.
 
Does he frequent there with business associates or he is engrossed to go ktv?
If he goes there once in a while maybe still ok. But if he goes there frequently then have to be careful.
Quite frequent.. he says business associates but messages stated otherwise
 
Message with hostess? You should get evidence and use it against him if he is having a relationship with hostesses.
Unfortunately no but i have alot of messages with his “married friends with kids” one gang all worshipping ktv girls etc etc.. not like what he mentioned “business associates”.. spent $1-2k per day few times a week. Using company funds so its really hard to track now that i have confronted him.. silly me shouldnt have done that..
 
My boyfriend keeps texting escorts for photos to masturbate to. He says he masturbates when he's stressed out and not feeling good. We have seen a counsellor before and he is actively trying to stop this bad habit with some techniques the counsellor taught him. When he doesn't feel good because of work or life in general, he speaks to me and i give him support to make him feel better so that he wont need to turn to masturbation as a coping mechanism. However, when his source of frustration/unhappiness is from us (i.e. when we argue badly), he still turns to masturbation (because we are not on good talking terms and i cant help him feel better). I am ok with masturbation in general (watch videos on pornhub for example), but i am not okay with texting an escort for photos to masturbate to. The 1-1 interaction and risk of him taking the next step to meet this escort is too much for me. But the problem is he likes to masturbate to escorts. I dont know what to do.
After my incident i have lost trust in him.. not saying that you should, but u should check his phone regularly after this. I regretted giving him too much freedom.. im not the same person anymore.. i felt like its all too late, i have kids with him..
 
After my incident i have lost trust in him.. not saying that you should, but u should check his phone regularly after this. I regretted giving him too much freedom.. im not the same person anymore.. i felt like its all too late, i have kids with him..
It’s still no too late. Just checking on hp will not let you know the real thing that happening. You should get a PI to check on his outing n see what he do with the hostesses
 
It’s still no too late. Just checking on hp will not let you know the real thing that happening. You should get a PI to check on his outing n see what he do with the hostesses
I just confronted him, so i guess more or less he will be very wary and cautious this period, i think i will wait awhile and hire a pi for that.. thanks for the reply.. felt damn ashame that i have to deal with this now.
 
i have been checking his phone regularly and he lets me do it when i asks. i guess because he's sure to clear his tracks, but clearly didnt do it well enough. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Mine is already so difficult without marriage and kids, i cant imagine what youre going through. for your relationship to move forward he needs to first admit his mistake (if he did make a mistake). agreed that you should just hire a PI to get the truth once and for all. then decide what to do from there.
He wasnt like that at all before the kids are here.. i was still indenial couldnt accept this has happened. During the day, he is the best dad and husband but by night ktv worshipper.. im so traumatized now.. panick attacks everyday.
 
i know how you feel. i feel so alone too. because i cant tell my family and friends. if my relationship does continue, they will judge him for sure and i dont want that. that's the main reason why i looked for this support group.
O god this.. i have to pretend to continue like nothing has happened. We need to stay strong..
 
i know how you feel. i feel so alone too. because i cant tell my family and friends. if my relationship does continue, they will judge him for sure and i dont want that. that's the main reason why i looked for this support group.
Sometimes u can’t think so far.
Look after yourself before u can look after anyone
 
O god this.. i have to pretend to continue like nothing has happened. We need to stay strong..
Don’t stress out yourself. Definitely u need someone you can trust to help you and able to to see thing as a third party. You need to talk to your trusted friend or sibling to let you make a good decision
 

Back
Top