CL, Ya! I been telling myself it been a few more day to go before time going to come, Hopefully when thing settle I not so angry and stress anymore. SMS to him is just talking to the wall, WTF! what I'm doing. I'm so scare to go back to his house when after work but my child is there I cannot left my child. I always will stay in the car till 7 plus to 8 plus then return back to that so call home. Scare and fear to reach home once reach home is time for me to act another face is on my real life. Tried!GOD I need more energy to continue.
Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands
- Thread starter sic
- Start date
no_direction
New Member
I found out the idiot betrayed me again on Vesak Day and this is the 3rd time already. It's all associated with dirty women! First time was in 1999 with a karaoke woman. Second time was in year 2010 and this time with a China prostitute for 2 years. Now again with another China prostitute for a few months.
The reason he gave me was because he got the need and these woman can help him in future in terms of money. I ask him is it I can't satisfy him but he said no. The most heartbreaking part is I know he don't use condom when he have sex because he don't like and he admitted. I wanted him to call that bitch in front of me and show me they no longer together but he refused and said he already settled. He even said that the bitch actually rejected him but he is the one who is persistent.
We have been married since 1997 and have 2 kids. Age 9 and 13. I have spoken to my daughter and she said she is ok with my decision if I wanted a divorce because there's no difference without her father as he always comes back late and hardly spend time with them.
He is asking for 1 last chance and has promised to behave himself but can't guarantee? What the hell is this?
I have asked him to go and do a HIV test and I will decide depending on the result.Right now I am really confused whether to give him 1 last chance or not if the result is HIV negative? My sis n bro n my close friend all told me not to. But of course, the decision still lies with me because it's my life.
My worry now is I don't know how I can cope life without him and frankly speaking, it's not easy for me to give up because we have been together for 20 over years.
I really need some advice now on whether I should give him another chance???
The reason he gave me was because he got the need and these woman can help him in future in terms of money. I ask him is it I can't satisfy him but he said no. The most heartbreaking part is I know he don't use condom when he have sex because he don't like and he admitted. I wanted him to call that bitch in front of me and show me they no longer together but he refused and said he already settled. He even said that the bitch actually rejected him but he is the one who is persistent.
We have been married since 1997 and have 2 kids. Age 9 and 13. I have spoken to my daughter and she said she is ok with my decision if I wanted a divorce because there's no difference without her father as he always comes back late and hardly spend time with them.
He is asking for 1 last chance and has promised to behave himself but can't guarantee? What the hell is this?
I have asked him to go and do a HIV test and I will decide depending on the result.Right now I am really confused whether to give him 1 last chance or not if the result is HIV negative? My sis n bro n my close friend all told me not to. But of course, the decision still lies with me because it's my life.
My worry now is I don't know how I can cope life without him and frankly speaking, it's not easy for me to give up because we have been together for 20 over years.
I really need some advice now on whether I should give him another chance???
no direction - often its back to asking ourself
, are you able to move on without him (consider all possibilities, what are the plans, can u find a job to sustain the costs of living? if divorce, can he pay for alimony? since your kids are big, and can even tell you its ok to divorce, maybe its easier to make a decision. Do you have a lot of family support,i think that is very important as raising a child singlehandedly is very tough..
, are you able to move on without him (consider all possibilities, what are the plans, can u find a job to sustain the costs of living? if divorce, can he pay for alimony? since your kids are big, and can even tell you its ok to divorce, maybe its easier to make a decision. Do you have a lot of family support,i think that is very important as raising a child singlehandedly is very tough..
OMG! No Direction, F*** without use protection. WTF! you not scare you will affect AIDS. HIV still ok. That is what I said got one time there is second time. Third time also got,20year is not easy. Mine also 10 plus yrs. I also give up, I just read a article from DR. Phil's he said" you always have to look at a relationship and ask yourself," what's it costing to me be in this relationship?" If you totally lose yourself in this relationship, then the cost is too high,"
if you feel that you losing your house that you worked for the entire life. What dr phil" NOt yet!" you haven't worked your whole life for it yet, your whole life is still in front of you! you say you don't have life anymore" sure you do, you have two children. having to move out of a house is not horrible, that's called moving."
I may not the right person to answer your question but sharing with you what I read from article. It hit my Head hard and I reliase that I lose to much and it was too costly to lose myself.
if you feel that you losing your house that you worked for the entire life. What dr phil" NOt yet!" you haven't worked your whole life for it yet, your whole life is still in front of you! you say you don't have life anymore" sure you do, you have two children. having to move out of a house is not horrible, that's called moving."
I may not the right person to answer your question but sharing with you what I read from article. It hit my Head hard and I reliase that I lose to much and it was too costly to lose myself.
no direction,
Yes, as it is our own life, only we noe whether to stay on or choose to D. Most important is if we choose to stay on, we need be prepare accept back a hb as that, else it may meaningless to keep a marriage.
Me too, still monitor and see whether to keep our marriage. Try to move on, but sigh, feel my hb not sincere enough. Really, choose to stay will have the issue of build up back the trust. If not 2 person work out, also difficult.
Yes, as it is our own life, only we noe whether to stay on or choose to D. Most important is if we choose to stay on, we need be prepare accept back a hb as that, else it may meaningless to keep a marriage.
Me too, still monitor and see whether to keep our marriage. Try to move on, but sigh, feel my hb not sincere enough. Really, choose to stay will have the issue of build up back the trust. If not 2 person work out, also difficult.
no_direction
New Member
Thanks all for sharing. He is now requesting me to cancel the banning of him to visit casino which I did last year and said that he got things to do but don't want to tell me what it is!
As I have asked him to leave the house and he also doesn't want to tell me where he is staying now until I keep asking and he told me staying at a friend's house in Geylang. I told him don't bullshit and he ask why I don't believe him. I somehow feel that he is still with that prostitute!
I think he is really hopeless! I don't feel his sincerity and he keep delaying in going for the blood test for HIV.I really don't know what is up his sleeve!
I know it will hurt but I think I really have no choice but to give up!
Now I need to know how to cope with my son because he seems to be affected by this. I can't help to cry too when I see him crying.
As I have asked him to leave the house and he also doesn't want to tell me where he is staying now until I keep asking and he told me staying at a friend's house in Geylang. I told him don't bullshit and he ask why I don't believe him. I somehow feel that he is still with that prostitute!
I think he is really hopeless! I don't feel his sincerity and he keep delaying in going for the blood test for HIV.I really don't know what is up his sleeve!
I know it will hurt but I think I really have no choice but to give up!
Now I need to know how to cope with my son because he seems to be affected by this. I can't help to cry too when I see him crying.
no direction,
9yrs old boy, should already know and understand what happen. You can expLAIN and tell him. which i told my child. daddy and mummy cannot stay together already. you cannot said bad thing on his father. she since like understand only 7yrs old.I keep on telling her, daddy mummy had some issue and we cannot stay together, staying with mum u will be with uncle and aunty of course got ur baby cousin which will come on weekend. u dun like mum and dad keep on quarrel and u dun like see mum cry right.
9yrs old boy, should already know and understand what happen. You can expLAIN and tell him. which i told my child. daddy and mummy cannot stay together already. you cannot said bad thing on his father. she since like understand only 7yrs old.I keep on telling her, daddy mummy had some issue and we cannot stay together, staying with mum u will be with uncle and aunty of course got ur baby cousin which will come on weekend. u dun like mum and dad keep on quarrel and u dun like see mum cry right.
no_direction
New Member
Thanks Audrey! I told my son the truth about his father, how he treated me and the reason we split is because of another woman. Not too sure he understands but he keep asking me to give him a chance.
However, I told my kids, I'll still let them meet up with their father even after we split and that's the reason my daughter feel there's no difference because she still get to see her father, only thing he don't live with us.
That day we talked about it and that idiot said he will give me everything including the house. When I said the kids follow me, his respond is why must it be. So I told him, ok,let's fight for custody and I am sure he won't get it (he himself knows it too) because he know nuts about the kids!
Why must he do such things and why I must find out now whereby I am going to start on a new job! He is upsetting my life! Arghhhhh!!!!!!!
Whatever he said, I have to finalize with a lawyer and he have to sign and agree, right?
Any good female lawyer to recommend?
However, I told my kids, I'll still let them meet up with their father even after we split and that's the reason my daughter feel there's no difference because she still get to see her father, only thing he don't live with us.
That day we talked about it and that idiot said he will give me everything including the house. When I said the kids follow me, his respond is why must it be. So I told him, ok,let's fight for custody and I am sure he won't get it (he himself knows it too) because he know nuts about the kids!
Why must he do such things and why I must find out now whereby I am going to start on a new job! He is upsetting my life! Arghhhhh!!!!!!!
Whatever he said, I have to finalize with a lawyer and he have to sign and agree, right?
Any good female lawyer to recommend?
no_direction
New Member
pasir_ris_beach
This is the 3rd time and yes,i forgive him time n time again. My best friend also salute me and said my tolerance level very high. I don't know why but I just 放不下.
I think this time I should really 死心 and give up!
This is the 3rd time and yes,i forgive him time n time again. My best friend also salute me and said my tolerance level very high. I don't know why but I just 放不下.
I think this time I should really 死心 and give up!
no_direction
New Member
yes! indeed I do agree with you that to join a group for support and to let my heart have peace. do you have one to recommend?
By the way, I live in Pasir Ris, do you?
By the way, I live in Pasir Ris, do you?
no direction - u tried counselling?
ladies - i am thinking of going cousnelling for myself..to try to find my direction...i wonder where it will lead me to. planning to bring kids to church on sunday for some sunday school activities for them too..probably to divert their attention and receive some form of guidance.
ladies - i am thinking of going cousnelling for myself..to try to find my direction...i wonder where it will lead me to. planning to bring kids to church on sunday for some sunday school activities for them too..probably to divert their attention and receive some form of guidance.
I cannot imaging the child come to my house and said wanted to look for his father. I worry! of My child, protection. The bastards will sure come to make noise at my parents place. And I still need to work on weekday. I cannot live my child with my parents which heart no good.
no_direction
New Member
I am really in a dilemma now.
Whether which kind of pain I want?
To give up, I will feel painful but don't know for how long?
Not to give up, I will have to bear in mind that it will happen again and by then it will hurt more.
What should I do?
Whether which kind of pain I want?
To give up, I will feel painful but don't know for how long?
Not to give up, I will have to bear in mind that it will happen again and by then it will hurt more.
What should I do?
no_direction
New Member
Asking myself whether I am happy in this married life? Well, he has been treating me not bad but only area is faithfulness.
I talked to him last night again because I found out he still staying with the prostitute.
He ask me to give him 1-2 more months because he wanted to earn more money which he need for supporting his parents. He is going to make use of the prostitute to earn money for him.
I told him, I don't mind to help and work it out together in supporting his parents and he don't have to do this. But he said it's not that easy.
I ask him if now I am willing to let him come home, would he? He said yes but told me there will be 1 or 2 days in an alternate week that he will be staying outside in order to do his dirty things and he need 1-2 months as by then this prostitute will be going back to China already. WTF is this!!
I also ask him he wanted to come back it's because of the kids or me. He said it's because of the kids. He said he don't know how to face me and is shameful for doing all these to me.
I told him since he wanted to come back, so right now he should not even stay with the prostitute anymore until the test result is out. He said ok but frankly speaking, I really don't know he will or not.
I think now I shall wait for the test result and let god decide....
I really don't know why he is becoming like that! Money can really change a person thoroughly!
I talked to him last night again because I found out he still staying with the prostitute.
He ask me to give him 1-2 more months because he wanted to earn more money which he need for supporting his parents. He is going to make use of the prostitute to earn money for him.
I told him, I don't mind to help and work it out together in supporting his parents and he don't have to do this. But he said it's not that easy.
I ask him if now I am willing to let him come home, would he? He said yes but told me there will be 1 or 2 days in an alternate week that he will be staying outside in order to do his dirty things and he need 1-2 months as by then this prostitute will be going back to China already. WTF is this!!
I also ask him he wanted to come back it's because of the kids or me. He said it's because of the kids. He said he don't know how to face me and is shameful for doing all these to me.
I told him since he wanted to come back, so right now he should not even stay with the prostitute anymore until the test result is out. He said ok but frankly speaking, I really don't know he will or not.
I think now I shall wait for the test result and let god decide....
I really don't know why he is becoming like that! Money can really change a person thoroughly!
Never follow your heart. A woman's heart is made of water. We always let emotions drive us into making stupid decisions, and suffer we will be.
Instead, use your brain. Logic, what are the facts? It's obvious that all the men we are talking about are selfish, inconsiderate, mother-f****** and bastards. Nobody can accept them.
Instead, use your brain. Logic, what are the facts? It's obvious that all the men we are talking about are selfish, inconsiderate, mother-f****** and bastards. Nobody can accept them.
no_direction
New Member
I do agree wit you CL (70starz).
I just told him I am willing to let him come back and give ourselves 1 more chance to work it out and the reply I got from him is really heart broken. He said he is not coming back for the moment.
Shall talk about it when the test result is out.
I somehow got a feeling that he is delaying and don't wish to go for the test.
Anyway, I have given him deadline to get it done.
Right now, all I can do is wait.
I just told him I am willing to let him come back and give ourselves 1 more chance to work it out and the reply I got from him is really heart broken. He said he is not coming back for the moment.
Shall talk about it when the test result is out.
I somehow got a feeling that he is delaying and don't wish to go for the test.
Anyway, I have given him deadline to get it done.
Right now, all I can do is wait.
I Have did my action and he use violent again my whole family. I have applY PPO, and My child is out from the bastard house. My parents will Sue him too. He is facing 4 charge again violent. And damaged Gov thing. There will Be more to come but at least I'm out of that bastard house.
He used Soft word to make me go back. WTF! Heng I got a group of friend and family memeber told me not to listen. He said till he very Jia let, MIL use cry to make my heart to sofed. So Drama, My Pain for so many year Who will know. I cannot imaging he slp with that sluts that stay in bishan and had a small bastard. Because is small bastard so my they dun wan. got different ok.
He used Soft word to make me go back. WTF! Heng I got a group of friend and family memeber told me not to listen. He said till he very Jia let, MIL use cry to make my heart to sofed. So Drama, My Pain for so many year Who will know. I cannot imaging he slp with that sluts that stay in bishan and had a small bastard. Because is small bastard so my they dun wan. got different ok.
audrey_78, so dramatic hahaha... i understood what u meant.. tell your bastard husband not to be a coward la and must own up to his family that he got a bastard baby outside. his mum got to take the bastard child or kick him out la.
oh bishan.... the other fcuking woman stays in yishun st61(her mum home)and orignal home at st 81.
oh bishan.... the other fcuking woman stays in yishun st61(her mum home)and orignal home at st 81.
Ya, bishan. Now I so happy to stay with my child and i know my child is affected. Been asking me to carry her since the action had done. Fainted! 20 plus Kg carry up and down. But no regret, my fresh and blood. I love my child and no one can hurt my child.
His mum bastard child their heir on thier line. where will kick bastard out.
His mum bastard child their heir on thier line. where will kick bastard out.
I got a shock to receive his SMS to ask me to let him off. Dun send Him to jail. What ever request I given, he will accept and give me what I wan. So ladies that not too bad to go into this step and I had win for everything. After Settle down I will go met that sluts, she is the one that caused this stress and emotion tension to me and my child. She can happy enjoy the life so sorry. I will not give her the chance sluts.
YA, I WILL JIA YOU. Now to let him go of the PPO will he violent again. Dun let him go he maybe mad and fright for My child. Dun sue his adultery given him chance he will be happy but I will not be happy. To let me happy, and let courts decide should i continues the adultrey sue??? confuse! Also Headaches on this.
Audrey,
Hardly to give comment, maybe you can check with your lawyer. And ask yourself, your action is wanna fight for the child custody and get yourself freedom from him? Or you still consider let him back?
If first one, then you can use this chance to get something which you feel happy for yourself and good to your child. Like proceed D with him, ask for alimony, if got house settle the house issue. Then let go this man, no point continues. If lawyer say able to use adultery, actually adultery can use for file divorce, whether you wanna to sue him to pay for the charges is another issue.
If you want to give him the chances, then how will he arrange for another family?? You need to consider what you want to do.
Hardly to give comment, maybe you can check with your lawyer. And ask yourself, your action is wanna fight for the child custody and get yourself freedom from him? Or you still consider let him back?
If first one, then you can use this chance to get something which you feel happy for yourself and good to your child. Like proceed D with him, ask for alimony, if got house settle the house issue. Then let go this man, no point continues. If lawyer say able to use adultery, actually adultery can use for file divorce, whether you wanna to sue him to pay for the charges is another issue.
If you want to give him the chances, then how will he arrange for another family?? You need to consider what you want to do.
wendysu
Member
Audrey,
From your post, i think you might be looking at the option of having him back (sorry if i had understand wrongly)?
If this is the case, then you have to change your approach. Let's say you got a timeline for him to return to your side, then you have to wait till then. During this period, you can also calm down and think without contacting and him around, are you able to cope better, live happier and more peace? Time will tell and heal everything.
Otherwise, IMO, if you really determine and make up your mind, just proceed with whatever it is necessary to end this marriage and cut ties with him. Your hubby and his heart is no longer with you and this home, even if you force him to return, there might be high possibilities that he might hurt you again?
These are just my personal views. We should never encourage couples to D unless the marriage is beyond salvage and one party is suffering in it.
You are a tough woman and mummy, jia you! We are all woman and mummies, no matter what we will be here with you.
From your post, i think you might be looking at the option of having him back (sorry if i had understand wrongly)?
If this is the case, then you have to change your approach. Let's say you got a timeline for him to return to your side, then you have to wait till then. During this period, you can also calm down and think without contacting and him around, are you able to cope better, live happier and more peace? Time will tell and heal everything.
Otherwise, IMO, if you really determine and make up your mind, just proceed with whatever it is necessary to end this marriage and cut ties with him. Your hubby and his heart is no longer with you and this home, even if you force him to return, there might be high possibilities that he might hurt you again?
These are just my personal views. We should never encourage couples to D unless the marriage is beyond salvage and one party is suffering in it.
You are a tough woman and mummy, jia you! We are all woman and mummies, no matter what we will be here with you.
Thanks for Mmmmm9 and wendy,
My decide is make D is the only way to let me happy and peacefully. He is the one which cannot accept the fact and keep sms me. disturb my life now. I blocked him and rejected his number on my phone. I will only want to see him in courts and no other place. The pain & hurt he given to me for this yrs. I will never forget when i was submitting the adultrey pic of him and that sluts my heart boil to the max. That is not normal audrey any more my heart had turn into iron heart and No more pain and love with him.
My decide is make D is the only way to let me happy and peacefully. He is the one which cannot accept the fact and keep sms me. disturb my life now. I blocked him and rejected his number on my phone. I will only want to see him in courts and no other place. The pain & hurt he given to me for this yrs. I will never forget when i was submitting the adultrey pic of him and that sluts my heart boil to the max. That is not normal audrey any more my heart had turn into iron heart and No more pain and love with him.
Hi Audrey,
Glad to hear that you have made up your mind and you know what is the best action for you and your child.
Can I ask how do you block him & reject his number from your phone ? This china slut always sms my husband that she misses him very much and keep on asking when will he go china for business again. So fed up to see my husband reply to her sms that he will meet up with her again if there is a chance to go over. I want to block her number from my husband samsung mobile. Is it possible or i need to call up to starhub ? Thanks.
Glad to hear that you have made up your mind and you know what is the best action for you and your child.
Can I ask how do you block him & reject his number from your phone ? This china slut always sms my husband that she misses him very much and keep on asking when will he go china for business again. So fed up to see my husband reply to her sms that he will meet up with her again if there is a chance to go over. I want to block her number from my husband samsung mobile. Is it possible or i need to call up to starhub ? Thanks.
Hi CL, you are right.
I just assume that that woman is not so clever. E.g. if I call my overseas friend and her phone is always the engage tone or wrong number tone which I cannot contact her at all then I would think that she has cancelled her phone line and did not inform me. I would not thought of using another phone ( my daughter's phone or my friend's phone ) to try to call her because overseas call is expensive.
Actually my husband has promised me that he will not call that woman again. On the other hand, I do not want my husband to receive phone call from that woman just in case she calls him.
I just assume that that woman is not so clever. E.g. if I call my overseas friend and her phone is always the engage tone or wrong number tone which I cannot contact her at all then I would think that she has cancelled her phone line and did not inform me. I would not thought of using another phone ( my daughter's phone or my friend's phone ) to try to call her because overseas call is expensive.
Actually my husband has promised me that he will not call that woman again. On the other hand, I do not want my husband to receive phone call from that woman just in case she calls him.
Dear CL,
Whatapp can block not sms. PHone number and use rejected list in samsung phone. What Cl said is correct is personal. You can call starhub also to block that number of course money is involve, but if she use other number you also LL. Why! not you make due the china sluts had to go back to her country. Then Oversea call will expensive she cannot always call.
After decided I feel more relax and no stress now.But I still had to see him in courts haiz that cannot avoid.
Whatapp can block not sms. PHone number and use rejected list in samsung phone. What Cl said is correct is personal. You can call starhub also to block that number of course money is involve, but if she use other number you also LL. Why! not you make due the china sluts had to go back to her country. Then Oversea call will expensive she cannot always call.
After decided I feel more relax and no stress now.But I still had to see him in courts haiz that cannot avoid.
fortheloveofgod
New Member
Hi ...I am the author/contributor to the 'Cheated Spouse' post on here and would like to be a part of this support group.I made the mistake of bottling it all up and felt the extreme pain and realises that talking to women in similar situation will perhaps ease some of the pain.
Does this group meet up at all or is it just kept within this forum?
Does this group meet up at all or is it just kept within this forum?
莫明火，fire up to the head. WTF! what he trying to do. can faster settle and let me go fast. Adultery only ,dare to do pls dare to admit. sluts Which stay at bishan i wan to see u in courts. 通奸what nothing ma.. why! dare to give birth dun dare to see me. SOrry! i really fire to the whole mind.
audrey - now my situation no better. i try to want to talk to him, but end up in argument, spiteful words n i brought out the affair to want to expose them in office agitated him, he charged up to hse n started children grabbing n shouting n screaming, smashing things in my hse. i got quite some bad bruises during struggle. i went to hospital than went to make police report already, now covered under temporary PPO, cannot imagine still hv to meet him in court next week to see if court will grant permanent PPO. its dam easy to get married, so hard to get protection n divorce..
janey - evidence caused money. in my case, he is willing to admit adultery, thus i need not walk that step. for me, "talking" in forum is also a way to try to move out of this cycle, and also to see light which way i should proceed is perhaps the "right" and more comfortable way. divorce is hurtful but i try not to select that way, but i realised i feel his pain, is also a mental torture to me, so i have decided that i will let go..