Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands

audrey_78.. omg.. wat a coincidence too.. my boy kena bullied by his cousin too. he also complained abt how popo kept on picking on him at home while i am at work. heart also pain but what can i do? to think i had gone thru so much worse and now my poor boy childhood is something not pleasant as well as a result of my husband unfaithfulness.

for myself, it was too late for me to file against the husband as the evidences need to be valid for 6 mths, which becomes useless after 6 months. the sonofabastard child aborted.. no proof. the affair ended more than 6 mths ago.
 


or otherwise the child will be due ard 3 august if my memory serves me well. alas, this is too late cos it was aborted.
 
ur hubby, is so clever to get her aborted. mine is so stupid, what chinese said` pig also not so big`. If that illegitimate baby was not born. I will not walk till this step. i can close my eye for so many yr for the sick of my child. I will continue to close, but too bad. This adultery will file against him. And i will see them in courts. Best is i will let his relative all know about it, 给脸他自己不要脸。 So i will give him no face to see ppl. I been quiet for too long, the bullet i eat too much, time to send him back. All the bullet.
 
well from what i heard from her that she wanted to grow old together n be happy together with him. to her was like a progression from fun to dating couple to planning to grow old together after she gets divorced and she was misled by him into thinking that my hubby was available after he filed separation papers against me two years ago. i thought very oddly cos he n i were still together two years ago at that time and i told her that if he did filed separation papers then why he did not serve me papers??? anyway she kept thinking that i was wrong to intrude on her relationship with my hubby and urged me to let him go since no love btw me n my hubby. she was no other woman nor mistress. she was my hubby's woman... how funny.. till last year i confronted her and asked where the proof then only she realised she was being lied to by my husband.

sigh.. i finally see the truth that my husband is such a bastard. had been talking abt divorce many times but he changed mind at last min that he wish no divorce. wont let me go.. what is this???? he said he dun see the other woman as his future potential wife at all.
 
that is why i m still carrying this burden of extreme painful thing. wished to let go n give up n make a clean cut from him. I was able to make a clean cut if he makes up his mind to stay with the other woman if he wants, to me he is totally selfish.
 
audrey_78, what made u stay back n suffer in silence since u knew of your hubby got love child outside? r u also traditional or love your hubby a lot?
 
His illegitimate child only born this few mth. I dun had enough evidence to sue his adultery and now i had it. Unreasonable behavior is not i want to put him in courts. He make me suffer for all this yrs to hit him hard adultery sue is the best. He is the person who wan face alot. 君子报仇十年不晚。
 
OMg... i thought the illegitimate child was like few years old..

i believed u must be born in the year of 1978 like me?
 
tweety,
i had Pm you private. .Ya! u right! the adultery only can be done for 6mth if a few yrs old how can i file against him.
 
tweety35,
why! we had the same patten hubby. what he said all is the same with ur. He wanted two side too. lucky we are not living in the 20century. They cannot had two or more wife.
 
Audrey_78 hv not received your PM.

according to the infos given on singapore legal advice, u can sue him if the illegimate child does exist now.

for my case, it was aborted!! my hubby was not willing to accept it nor acknowledge it as his own. he simply denied. in the end she aborted and called him a heartless bastard. out of their affair begun from late 2009, till he walked out on her in last nov. so now i cannot use this as proof nor use their affair to sue him for divorce. I already publicised his affair to his family side. his relatives even knew abt it and shunned him. he is plainly stupid. he thought she was the most good woman but in the end see what happened. he was down on his luck and even caused his own downfall plus loss of home as well.
 
so now nevermind, I see that if he repeats one more time(new affair with different woman) then sorry i shall take no chances n file for divorce before he and the future lover break off their affair. i dun wish to get another part of his karma nor will allow his karma to befall upon me or child.

it is okay for me since my feelings is not strong anymore plus have so much doubts and much lesser faith in the relationship btw us.
 
tweety - why have to wait till then..?
i dun even think i can live with my pain forever..i am just waiting myself to be stronger before i cut the line..
 
CL. i know is not easy to be able to ease my pains.

now he back to my side, and the evidence that i had in my hand became invalid already after half year and he kept asking me to give chances for the r/s to work out as he still believed that anything that concerned us can be salvaged. he still loves me and the child and told me that no matter whatever happened in past and future he wont let me go, even if i dare make him a cuckold in future he will accept it and still want me and wait for me to end my fun. sigh...
 
and yes, if really no more feelings or love from his heart then only will he give up n let go.

to me i just give up n lose interest and passion in the r/s. not that i m bothered but it is already useless salvaging anything. but he wanted!!! he regretted a lot abt nt cherishing our r/s and his affair. to me he is a bo chap and useless man. can be suitable for being made a cuckold, but i dun hv heart to do so cos i already am a mummy and do not wish for my child to learn wrong values.
 
tweety,
I stay back for the marry is because I wanted to complete my education. What he said to me 字字句句在心中。when i find out the affair.It hurt me and my family hard. thank to his word, my sibling now all is taking MBA. ever higher then his education.
yes, i will sue him adultery. My hubby is a bastard too. He dun wan to divorce. He told me 'he will do what ever thing to end his life if i do so'. what i told him is your decision i cannot stop. I dun hv the heart to be with a man which is not mine. important I dun like to share.when women heart is die, they can kill themself, we will not return.
 
Audrey. haha let your hubby die if he want? no one has courage to kill themselves. only talk and no actions la.

same same same. i told him before i dun like to share my man with another woman. Funny. the other woman said she loves him alot and he loves her. as well she also loves me for being a friend to her for the past decade.. Unfortunately i made up my mind not to be a friend with her anymore. she is free to have my husband. in fact, he is not my man anymore from the day i uttered divorce.
 
tweety, if he said that again. i will put 1k and tell him. I bet he will not. anyway, I will not give him chance to tell me this word anymore. My action going to start, cannot see him anymore. once see him my fire burn inside my heart.
 
Tweety, It was a long process and it will be very terrible, mind torture,Emotional torture too. I Dun know how to go by, after the lawyer explain to me. But What i know is there is no return, my life had to go on. My child Need a healthy family without Father that hurt mum badly.
 
dun worry audrey, u still have many supporters behind ur back.

yeah life has to go on no matter how. i also need to bite the bullet n get on with my life.
 
dun worry. i understood how u feel cos i myself dun know how to handle despites met my lawyer and even filed for divorce too last two march ago.
 
firstly the hse, cos we just shifted, so cannot sell, and i hope to retain the hse for its near my younger boy's kindy and my gal's future primary school (just across street), we took bank loan, whether the bank can continue to grant me the loan but on a sole income only..the lawyer asked me something very critical since my husband is in debts, he ask if i decided to not divorce, will i be able to face the debts with him, he mentioned this man will be going down..(400k debts)..i wondered too..and raising my children in a single parent home..i used to rely on him a lot..can i really do it? even though now he aleready moved out, i am literally a single parent already..just that a divorce makes it more real..ya?..sigh...
 
that time, the lawyer had very kindest advice for me and it woke me up. so i left his office.

so not proceeded yet. supposed to serve him the div paper this earlier year but the husband asked me to try work things out one more time n forget the past??? sigh,

CL i understood how u felt cos that time i already felt like a single mum from 2009 till last year. he was never there for me and bluffed me a lot and got me into troubles.. real hard struggling alone to clear debts. even now although we are back together, i still stay with my mum and son also staying with me. the husband is homeless n currently renting a bed space.
 
tweety - so u r staying apart from him? so what is the plan for u? mine, where he stays i also duno..he just walked out one day..still thinking if should spend the money on PI..but really it will take a toil on my savings..
sad.gif


my lawyer also very nice..very logical too..usually he present the facts and tend not to give comments to suggest divorce or not..but he tell me straight..divorce seems a better option for me..for this man cannot make it..
 
last monday we even went for a parent volunteer interview at a primary school..b4 that we came from different location, met outside school fate, while meeting principle...we 'acted" like so 夫唱妇随。。after meeting end..the moment out the school gate, walked separate way...my heart was literally crying...why is this man so heartless...
 
I will expect resistance and harassment from him when i take action, And I myself had to change the lifestyle I had now. Around me there is alot of pressure. Cannot this and cannot take. I too use to have a sport car given by him to move around SG. And once I take Action all this have to return. It will really Affect my work and travlling time. The best thing is my child will ask me why there is no car to travel around. Also when school start i cannot stop him or Mil to fetch my child from sch. If I take temp courts order need $$$ again. It will be costly. Why! All this F(man) Do something wrong the suffer one his their spouse. And we are also the one who hurt the most. Why! SG law cannot like korean Law can put them into Jail. I really feel helpless.
 
its been 6 months, the situation looks bleak still and seems to get worse, we are not even seeing each other frequently.

Seriously if he u-turn,in my heart, i will be happy, but i know i also can't accept it if i can't change my perspective of him (like i will still assume he may do this do that behind me), so i may choose not to divorce but stay behind just to raise the kids, but not to love him again if possible.
 
Cl so that is what i m doing (just like your assumptions) however the husband also treated it as if nothing bad happens at all for NOW and as usual he still f*** me.
 
tweety - initially when he walked out of the hse, i also had problem dealing with the urge. now all urge is gone, and i dun think i want him to touch me again..even in my heart i know i love him very much...but the thought of all those women infront of me..i cannot tahan...
 
Audrey, I can understand ur worries, I did the minor changes and I m still assured by my own family members. my own car is took over by my parent n help me out for car instalments etc. the other misc for car I bear. I stopped him from having any say in car stuffs two years ago. so i see it as a safety net to hv my family supporting me. I thank Lord Jesus for the wisdom given to me.

I have no worries and my sibling help guide me on how to guard myself against him. my past story had been posted here long ago. really not easy for me for the past several years but i emerged out a bit stronger with the support of my family and church friends n close friends.

Slowly, u will find yourself at the end of dark tunnel. Jia you.

for now it does not matter whether i div or not, as long as he dun stir up troubles for me or close frenzs or family members. If one more wrong step, i will just walk out on him with no intentions to look back. Why?? it is cos i dun hv any sweet memories with him during the entire marriage. if any sweet memories, it will be contained within the very short courtship only. I never experience truly happiness with him thruout 8 years of marriage. my boy is only 8 this coming july. Instead, i had so much tears and miseries n pains than happiness with him. Maybe i had too much stresses indirectly for being with him. Many times i asked myself why I chose to stay on despites the D on my mind. Still i can see he is really putting in a lot of efforts to win me back but in the wrong way. He still dun know that i m more simple and practical type. He is the type that will chase after materialistic needs and still conformed to the worldy thoughts. I had been detaching myself off the worldly or materialistic things. ALl i want is a husband to love and love me wholly. Is it wrong to ask for this simple need? He only wants to climb up the corporate ladder but is it necessary for him??? having more more money is worth?? or what?? i rather hv a simple and happy life n be carefree and yes laid-back type.

Really sad that he n i dun think the same way. Instead he wants this and that... if so he shd go marry the other woman lei.. the other woman is also unfaithful sort. not traditional or practical sort as i can see plus knew her for a longest time. her life is rather complicated. Men come and go in her life and she dun know how to be simple. to her money is very important, just like my husband's belief in money too.
 
I did not allow him to touch me when I know his affair many yrs ago. Personally feel that he is very dirty. That women he is with change BF like change clothes. I dun even dare to share drink with him at all. That Women will be name in my D sue as my lawyer stated.

My friend just send me an sms asking me. Do I wanted to U-turn. The Fact is this yr one baby, next yr another one. So all I have to accept and eat the bullet if I dun wan to D. My hubby word I cannot believe anymore, I can asked him have he Clear his Affair with the women he can told me "how many time I have to told you clear" End up a baby come out. He can somemore told me he will never marry the women even I D him. What a stupid Answer to me. Who will Believe in your word. My child will told me "Daddy always Tell lie, I dun believe daddy any more". What type of Father he is in my child heart. By this statement all of you should know!

I know he put alot of affort to maintance two family. But I still cannot accept that the man, I marry to is not longer my man any more. For this few yrs I tried very hard to make myself to accept the fact but one hand cannot clap. He just wanted me to be wife by the law without any love. We only talk rubbish and thing on my child. We also can quarrel on which sch to choose for my child and the medicine I feed my child for cough. Which of you can accept every moment ready for war or anything he will wanted to beat you? I though my MIL was standing infront to block him to beat me. End up I understand from my GF, Sorry! She is not protecting DIL, She is protecting her son not to do stupid thing.

Our life not just hubby, We still had our child. I can and I am strong to bring my child up personally. As a mum I'm willing to give up all my lifestyle for my child, Giving my child the best of all.
 
qingling,

Yes, of course. If dun get a better partner. I will have a better life with my child. I dun need to think that why he don't come home or why late home. Even worst" OH! shit the second Illegimate baby is out"
 
Audrey-in ur case, with the child even out already, it's hard to u turn, that child will just be a constant reminder of pain. As much I really run believe in divorce but this is really too much to bear..
 
CL, before action i still had to act like nothing happen. That is torture myself first, cover myself well and stand firm when action. That child 是我的心中的痛。我恨没快刀斩乱麻，斩断一场不幸的事。Now is no u turn,
 
The Pain and hurt is unable to explain. How many time I question myself, Do I did something wrong End up My marry life turn to be sour or maybe I not good enough. I dun even had the courage to question that slut. When thing Happen! In this war of D I'm Actually a loser. To avoid the fact, of losing I chose to D.
In this whole month I can slim down 5kg. That is the Fact, in the bottom of my heart he is still around, But I choose to pull him out by force and the torn go more deep and deep.
 
HUHUHUH, AUdrey u mean that their bastard child is already born and another bitch/bastard child is on its way and due next year... omg.. u must have suffered too much..

your hubby is almost same as my hubby too.. but he did U-turn finally n decided he wanted to come back to me n our son. Like i said previously he was homeless since last year, and was left with no choice but to beg the other woman for a place to stay for free and the other woman took him in without knowing that our home was repossessed last year. and i took my son n moved in with my mum. Initially i did not know he was took in by her and allowed him to stay for free for temporary. in the end i found out n confronted the other woman.

then she urged me to let my husband go n find another guy for happiness sake. i was like "WTF" and told her ok ok i will proceed with div then.. Of cos i spoke to him separately and he realised i was pretty serious and begged me not to.. he only said div out of anger many times. why shd i care abt such a bastard? he has no friends apart from co-workers n his family "kicked him out". i and son are his only kins. then this year he is back to me although i dun want him back anymore.

for the baby, he flatly refused to acknowledge it as his baby. later i probed and then found out that she also sleeping ard behind my husband back so dun know who is the father.. he still refused to acknowledge it. she admitted that they did sex once in early nov and later when she knew got baby ard late nov. the foetus was already past 7 weeks. she still insisted that her baby was my husband's. i was really blurred..

of cos i knew that my hubby had lied too much. that i dun believe or trust him anymore afterwards.
 
Tweety.. Yes, their bastard child is born. I dun know they had another one more anot. And I dun wan to Know anymore I cannot Take it. I will turn Mad once another before my action time. One Bastard child Already Nearly Kill me another One I think not he jump is I will jump with red clothes on into river. Of course, I will not bring along my child. My child Had to know the fact what that bastard do.

I dun wan him to return as I said before I pull him out from the bottom of my heart by force. He is not Handsome and not Rich. Why! I had to suffer. When I marry him, one of my friend asked me" Gal! You are putting a rose into a pool of shit" They call him Shit, I blind to marry him, around me there is many more nice guy and yet I choose a pool of shit. WTF!

From the start of our marry life he planned and lie all the way. After sold the house he start to had Affair and now bastard child. If that slut feel he can give her happiness then jolly-well slut you can have him. Which very DA NAN REN he only good in talking and he can because of slut and dun wan his family. He is with a lot of debt now. Anytime will declared bandrupts and best he will do it again, (nan ren you di yi ci Jiu hui you di er ci). He also listen to his mum from head to tail. Good luck to you slut, Oh! this slut is rich, he dun mind to be Xiao bai Lian. (so sorry! ladies all this keep inside my heart for too long i need place to let it out)
 
AUdrey.. this is too much...

well i think your hubby is much worser than mine.

oh well my hubby also same.. he got into shits and i blindly pulled him out of shits n helped clear the debts despites my suspicions abt him hvg another sluttish woman.

no worries this is the place u can vent out your anger here. i also had alot of unhappiness bottled inside till i came to know of this thread thus i started posting here years ago. then things turned for better this year only.

however i will never forgive this sluttish woman.
 
this woman's d is on-going and she is happily making out with the new kept married lover. fyi she is living in yishun and her mum is the same. cheapo. oh ya i knew that the guys who screwed this same woman had commented that her pussy is very loose n big yet i dun understand why my husband is so stupid plainly. only 38 yr old and look like 45 year old lei... singaporean siao char bo.
 
After post and think back, Where got money he will go where, I stop the join account with you and draw all the money out. He will so mad, He said I keep his money but in fact is from the start of marry till now I keep helping him to pay his debts. I nearly use up my saving to pay his Debts and when my Best friend find out she keep my money and there go the affair. My family dun even know I help him so much. If my parent find out I think they will heart attack. That slut family is rich. His Car for me to let me show off to my family and his relative he treated me good, but the fact is he is a bastard. I keep quiet and I will show them the fact soon.
I already can be a PI on this marry life. I had the slut IC detail. The whole family detail, till the lawyer was surprise by the document i attach to him. I do not get any PI i do it myself. As I said before there is alot of wonderful thing which PC can do.
 
Whole family is Bai chi can accept daughter without marry give birth for a marry man too. I dun know how to said that slut family A pool of bastard and sluts. High education (du shu du dao bian bai chi). 禮義廉恥統統齊全。
 


audrey - there's really no need to be burden by all this shit..its time to let go...me too..keep telling myself to move on..i am walking there...hopefully soon.
 
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