Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands
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CL, I also covered under temporary PPO. two week later i will SEE HIM in courts again. Dun worry! First thing is to the sit outside the courts green sofa then the officer will call you. Then go in the courts, Dun get your lawyer follow you is a waste of money. The judge will ask will you wan to let the case off. IF you insisted then cousnellor will come in talk to you first then your hubby. if you insist on the PPO then he do not agree. Then see judge again, By time you see him in courts again. Which Happen to me now.
He begging me on SMS to release the PPO. He use soft way then right now he used hard way. threatened me to release the PPO.
We also Negotiations on my daughter Access Now, maintence, alimony. He had already get his lawyer to send my lawyer letter which stated allow me to take the Care and control.He wanted resonable access to my daughter. Argument on the Access which both of us do not agree to some point.( If it was face to face I think chair will throw on me again) I do not allow My daughter to stay Overnight and some of his relative are not allow to see my daughter. His Maintence fee and Alimony propose to me is very low which i dun agree.
He begging me on SMS to release the PPO. He use soft way then right now he used hard way. threatened me to release the PPO.
We also Negotiations on my daughter Access Now, maintence, alimony. He had already get his lawyer to send my lawyer letter which stated allow me to take the Care and control.He wanted resonable access to my daughter. Argument on the Access which both of us do not agree to some point.( If it was face to face I think chair will throw on me again) I do not allow My daughter to stay Overnight and some of his relative are not allow to see my daughter. His Maintence fee and Alimony propose to me is very low which i dun agree.
Cheated Spouse, Unfaithful Husband etc.
I guess I should not feel that bad afterall. There are married men more bastard than my own.
After reading threads after threads in this forum, i realised that there are sooooo many bastards out there. Only dfference between these bastards are that their level of severity.
All cheat on their wives, and have not guts to face the music.
I guess I should not feel that bad afterall. There are married men more bastard than my own.
After reading threads after threads in this forum, i realised that there are sooooo many bastards out there. Only dfference between these bastards are that their level of severity.
All cheat on their wives, and have not guts to face the music.
Whether you will find my statement agreeable or not, but let's all face it, nowadays no marriage is built on trust.
I have not come across any married men who is 100% faithful to his wife. In fact, men are not built to love a single person for the rest of their lives, they do not need love like women, they feed on love.
This is the way of life now. With so much easy access to women, and cheap 3rd world country women throwing themselves to our men. How to say NO? In fact, there are so many office affairs and sex. AKA Ng Boon Gay and Peter Lim cases ... hey! these are men and women who hold a certain level of status in their very own organisations they worked in.
So its sex , sex , sex ... paid, unpaid, bribery ... people have less value, more sexually active, selfish, liberal.
想开一点吧! 做女人,就是这么衰!
Like what my HB once told me, 不要怪我对你不好,要怪就怪你的命不好,嫁的不好
I have not come across any married men who is 100% faithful to his wife. In fact, men are not built to love a single person for the rest of their lives, they do not need love like women, they feed on love.
This is the way of life now. With so much easy access to women, and cheap 3rd world country women throwing themselves to our men. How to say NO? In fact, there are so many office affairs and sex. AKA Ng Boon Gay and Peter Lim cases ... hey! these are men and women who hold a certain level of status in their very own organisations they worked in.
So its sex , sex , sex ... paid, unpaid, bribery ... people have less value, more sexually active, selfish, liberal.
想开一点吧! 做女人,就是这么衰!
Like what my HB once told me, 不要怪我对你不好,要怪就怪你的命不好,嫁的不好
wendysu
Member
I think for marriage, there is no right or wrong. Everyone is fated to face certain obstacles at certain point of time without any explanation. Especially when come to love, nobody can guarantee when is the expiry date, some may be fast, some many last forever. I felt the pain like anyone of you previously and till now already 13 years, it was still at a hidden corner of my heart, i had buried it deep deep.
Let's believe that this is just another round of tornado, there will be sunshine after the rain where we must have to courage and faith, continue to proof that we are strong enough to withstand them. Maybe it is not now, not soon, but we look forward to that very day, we can walk proudly and tell him that without him, we are better off.
坚强的女人, 我们一定能够克服和排除万难。
Let's believe that this is just another round of tornado, there will be sunshine after the rain where we must have to courage and faith, continue to proof that we are strong enough to withstand them. Maybe it is not now, not soon, but we look forward to that very day, we can walk proudly and tell him that without him, we are better off.
坚强的女人, 我们一定能够克服和排除万难。
mine, go on the same day. He had send back his lawyer letter he will give out the care and control. But he wan reasonable access to the child. And everyday Phone call. I so angry on his rubber timing on his call. ABC. I had to send Sms to get him to call. If today still like that he can forget it. I will switch off all phone and band him to distrub my bonding time with my child.
ya, CL, I thinking Should i release the PPO. If i never see which other. When the Access to My child I believe I will get My brother to send. I dun even wan to see him. But parents meeting day that is the only day i will see him. The rest I will not wan to see his idoit look.(not handsome but can had women really dun understand) If you saw his Pic i think you will ask why too. He really Pls me very hard on the PPO. It make me slpless night for a few day. let go will he get Ppl to come and beat me. Dun release what is the adv and disadv.
Hi Audrey,
May I know what is PPO ? Why he get ppl to beat you ? It's his fault from the very beginning. You are just doing your part to divorce him since he is such a irresponsible husband and let you down.
As for parent teacher meeting, I think u don't have to inform him at all. Normally the teacher will inform parent about the child development & what to take note on the academic progress. So, only the care giver attend the session is enough. Like my case, my husband always skip the parent-teacher meeting due to he unable to take leave or he was at overseas.
May I know what is PPO ? Why he get ppl to beat you ? It's his fault from the very beginning. You are just doing your part to divorce him since he is such a irresponsible husband and let you down.
As for parent teacher meeting, I think u don't have to inform him at all. Normally the teacher will inform parent about the child development & what to take note on the academic progress. So, only the care giver attend the session is enough. Like my case, my husband always skip the parent-teacher meeting due to he unable to take leave or he was at overseas.
Hi, Chris, PPO stand for Personal Protection Order. My hubby, had been meeting some illegal gang outside and he have some illegal thing on process. Which I dun know what it is. He not use to be like that when i know him he is a Accountant till go have a position as CFO but know he is totally like a gangter.
If the Parent - teacher Meeting section i can miss him out that will be nice. Dun even need to see his idoit face. Peace of mind.
If the Parent - teacher Meeting section i can miss him out that will be nice. Dun even need to see his idoit face. Peace of mind.
dreamybeary
New Member
Hi, unfortunately i think this is the right support group for me, so if you dont mind i would like to join in.
dreamybeary
New Member
audrey, reading through some of the old posts, can really relate to your situation.....
My hb cheated on me with a coworker exactly 3 years ago last week. the slut was married but hb was on 6m overseas assignment. few days after the affair started, he told me he wants to leave. i did not find out that he was cheating till in july when he went on a biz trip which turned out to be a hols with the slut. The 2 of them rented an apt and moved out together in aug. During the 3-4m, my hb said a lot of hurtful and cruel things to me, was an awful father to the kids. I cried and begged him not to do this but it probably made it even better for him. i couldnt sleep and couldnt eat, lost 10kg in 1m. Once i was done crying, i started making plans to d and apply for maintenance at the family court. at the end of august, he uturn and asked to come back. i let him come back for the kids' sake but my heart is dead. one week after he came back, the slut found out she's pg. i believe this was planned by the slut to trap him. she thought if she is pg, it will seal the deal and he would leave us for good. he was wishy washy once he found out and made life very painful for me. all the qn i asked, always answered dont know. broke my trust further by having lunch with the slut, bring her to dr etc when he promised me it will only be work necessary contact. by the end of sept i had enough and told him we are still legally separated, and we can just sign the d paper in 20m. he finally made it clear to her. she thought he will go back to her when he broke it off in aug, only when he made it clear in sept then she went nuts. sms him, begging, anger, threats, want to kill herself, all kind of patterns.
the slut's hb divorced her, she wanted to keep the bastard cos she think that will make my hb go back to her. the bastard is 2yo now.
except for those 4m, he has always been a good father. i dont want my kids to grow up without a father, it is mentally torturing for me daily when i think of the things that happened and things he said. i keep telling myself to tahan till kids grow up then i will have my own life. i go about work and home smiling while my inside is dying. take the chance to cry when i need to in the shower. my kids tell me they are happy, that we are one happy family. i cannot put my own happiness before theirs, so this is my life, the path i chose.
My hb cheated on me with a coworker exactly 3 years ago last week. the slut was married but hb was on 6m overseas assignment. few days after the affair started, he told me he wants to leave. i did not find out that he was cheating till in july when he went on a biz trip which turned out to be a hols with the slut. The 2 of them rented an apt and moved out together in aug. During the 3-4m, my hb said a lot of hurtful and cruel things to me, was an awful father to the kids. I cried and begged him not to do this but it probably made it even better for him. i couldnt sleep and couldnt eat, lost 10kg in 1m. Once i was done crying, i started making plans to d and apply for maintenance at the family court. at the end of august, he uturn and asked to come back. i let him come back for the kids' sake but my heart is dead. one week after he came back, the slut found out she's pg. i believe this was planned by the slut to trap him. she thought if she is pg, it will seal the deal and he would leave us for good. he was wishy washy once he found out and made life very painful for me. all the qn i asked, always answered dont know. broke my trust further by having lunch with the slut, bring her to dr etc when he promised me it will only be work necessary contact. by the end of sept i had enough and told him we are still legally separated, and we can just sign the d paper in 20m. he finally made it clear to her. she thought he will go back to her when he broke it off in aug, only when he made it clear in sept then she went nuts. sms him, begging, anger, threats, want to kill herself, all kind of patterns.
the slut's hb divorced her, she wanted to keep the bastard cos she think that will make my hb go back to her. the bastard is 2yo now.
except for those 4m, he has always been a good father. i dont want my kids to grow up without a father, it is mentally torturing for me daily when i think of the things that happened and things he said. i keep telling myself to tahan till kids grow up then i will have my own life. i go about work and home smiling while my inside is dying. take the chance to cry when i need to in the shower. my kids tell me they are happy, that we are one happy family. i cannot put my own happiness before theirs, so this is my life, the path i chose.
dreamy (dreamybeary), Your kid will not grow up without a father. You sure when they grow up know their mum was suffer because of them they will happy. My child even told her father pls sign the D paper fast. She wanted mum to happy, she is only 7 yrs old she already know what is good and bad. I don't tell any thing bad on her father.My agreeent to him is both party cannot tell the child anything bad on each other. they had the right to live in an lovely envoirment. I just told her do you want to keep seeing mum and dad quarrel and mum cry at night Or dad use a chair or showing hand sign to beat mum.
That bartard is already 2 yrs old. Wah! i actually (pei fu your ren Gong). I cannot go till that extend to Ren. It is enough mean enough when i step to working life my ex colleague's actually teach me one statement. IF you did wrong admit it and dun agrue on it. Amend it and continues your life.
CL, I had spoken to my lawyer to continues the PPO and get him to present in courts cost me 1k. The whole D is already 4k. I dun see a point to contiues the PPO. But I will wan to hold it for a few more week to let him agree my T & C. Then i withdraw the PPO. Remember I told you before your WANT and NEED. I WANTED it to settle fast and need to release myself from the ugly state of MRS surname.
That bartard is already 2 yrs old. Wah! i actually (pei fu your ren Gong). I cannot go till that extend to Ren. It is enough mean enough when i step to working life my ex colleague's actually teach me one statement. IF you did wrong admit it and dun agrue on it. Amend it and continues your life.
CL, I had spoken to my lawyer to continues the PPO and get him to present in courts cost me 1k. The whole D is already 4k. I dun see a point to contiues the PPO. But I will wan to hold it for a few more week to let him agree my T & C. Then i withdraw the PPO. Remember I told you before your WANT and NEED. I WANTED it to settle fast and need to release myself from the ugly state of MRS surname.
dreamybeary
New Member
audrey
yes, if i d him, the kids will not be without a father but life will be very different if he lives elsewhere and see them every week vs every day. according to him, he has not seen the slut since dec that year. neither has he seen the bastard. he wants nothing to do with them and are not in contact with them.
yes, if i d him, the kids will not be without a father but life will be very different if he lives elsewhere and see them every week vs every day. according to him, he has not seen the slut since dec that year. neither has he seen the bastard. he wants nothing to do with them and are not in contact with them.
Dreamy, Are you sure and had ensure that he do not. Mine also keep tell me he did not. But end up what happen. I dun delieve all this bastard any more. I rather stay with myself and support myself. WOMEN DUN NEED MAN AT ALL. We can live without them. I had a GF of mine which father had affair, and her mum stay put till she grow up then D him. She told me that she blame herself and because of her. Her mum was not happy for all this yr. She cannot forgive her father and she never even call him when she found out the affair of her father. She told me to give my child an answer and face the fact. That Man dun love you anymore and continues live with my new life without him.
dreamybeary
New Member
audrey, the slut moved back to malaysia after she lost her job and had the bastard there. after that i saw she found a job there. am i 100% sure he is not in contact with them, no. but from what i observe, there has been no contact. he didnt even want to know whether she had a boy or girl. he simply want to forget it ever happened or they exist.
oK, THAT good, then What is your worry or sad about. Hmm! you cannot stop think is had affair and detrayed you right. 过不了自己这关。
I myself dun like the feeling of stressful and loss. Need friend and family to support. Will sudden feel lonely. D this path is painful and expensive.
I myself dun like the feeling of stressful and loss. Need friend and family to support. Will sudden feel lonely. D this path is painful and expensive.
dreamybeary
New Member
I guess in the back of my head i always feel that he has a ready family out there to leave us for. or another slut he will follow home. this slut asked him to go back to her house to talk during lunch time and made the move on him. thats why i suspect that getting herself pg was her plan. she was so shameless that she can tell her own mother hb is a better catch than her own hb. how can parents accepted their daughter's such behavior when she is a married woman herself??
ya, cant get past myself. i cannot stop hearing the cruel things he said to me during those months. I don't believe when he said he loves me cos even if you dont love someone any more, you did love them before and you will not say such hurtful things. my family is not supportive. they dont agree i should take him back so they sort of cut me off. my kids and i are welcome but he is not. so events like CNY, xmas is very difficult. he and i fight about it cos he's angry they treat him like that. now he has accepted it and even willing to send us there and pick us up if we choose to go for family events. but for me family is a big deal and having this division makes my heart ache.
ya, cant get past myself. i cannot stop hearing the cruel things he said to me during those months. I don't believe when he said he loves me cos even if you dont love someone any more, you did love them before and you will not say such hurtful things. my family is not supportive. they dont agree i should take him back so they sort of cut me off. my kids and i are welcome but he is not. so events like CNY, xmas is very difficult. he and i fight about it cos he's angry they treat him like that. now he has accepted it and even willing to send us there and pick us up if we choose to go for family events. but for me family is a big deal and having this division makes my heart ache.
CL, after i started the D i delete her Number. I feel angry when i saw her on line.And i nearly wanted to whatapp her and Fxxx her. But I think back is I'm educator person I will not wan ppl to said me childlish. CL i suggest you to delete it. If not you will had 无明火在心中。
DREAMY, THAT HAPPEN To me too event on family is so difficult and ur person is in the event your heart asking will he go and find that sluts.If I can said out the sluts name how good. But i may get into ledge sue. WTF! I believe that sluts also plan to get pg and wanted HB to D. My HB is really very stupid. What i can said is PIG also not so big. Anyway! HB which heart no more with me and detrayed me. I will thrown him away, no point.
DREAMY, THAT HAPPEN To me too event on family is so difficult and ur person is in the event your heart asking will he go and find that sluts.If I can said out the sluts name how good. But i may get into ledge sue. WTF! I believe that sluts also plan to get pg and wanted HB to D. My HB is really very stupid. What i can said is PIG also not so big. Anyway! HB which heart no more with me and detrayed me. I will thrown him away, no point.
dreamybeary
New Member
CL: now and then just google. thats how i know she has found a job in her hometown. i ban her from both our fb, she deleted hb from her fb after that.
nicepeople
New Member
I’m so impressed how you all coped in these difficulty situations. Life must have been very tough going through daily. Yet you prevailed. I have the opportunity to speak to many couples facing with divorce. I hope what I’m writing will being some encourage to all readers. With the divorce, our lives are immediately transformed. Starting over, we are suddenly faced with the rest of our lives, and we have no idea what to do. We are stripped of what is most familiar to us with little knowledge of what comes next. Facing this new challenge, we have practically no experience to guide us. Our minds are filled with questions and our hearts with pain. From healing our pain, we are able to create a new life filled with love and success.
This process is not an easy one. To give birth, birth to a new you, to a new life, there are labor pains. It takes hard work. Though at times painful, going through the process is also incredibly rich and fulfilling. After the initial adjustment, it will become much easier. Soon you will be looking back, and all this pain will be just a memory.
Leave you with my 5 cents practical ideas:
1. Take time to hear the stories of others who have lost love. By putting yourself in their shoes you experience that you are not alone. Your loneliness becomes less.
2. Centre yourself in the present using this ritual each morning when you wake up: Look in the mirror and say aloud, “I will get through this.” Soon the pain will be gone. Repeat this ten times.
3. Count your blessings. Often, when we are grieving a loss, we forget to appreciate what we do have.
4. Be patient with yourself. Instead of getting frustrated when you experience a setback, reward yourself with a treat.
5. Don’t hold back your tears. It is okay to cry. Some may need to be alone to cry. That is okay too. Crying is good for the soul.
This process is not an easy one. To give birth, birth to a new you, to a new life, there are labor pains. It takes hard work. Though at times painful, going through the process is also incredibly rich and fulfilling. After the initial adjustment, it will become much easier. Soon you will be looking back, and all this pain will be just a memory.
Leave you with my 5 cents practical ideas:
1. Take time to hear the stories of others who have lost love. By putting yourself in their shoes you experience that you are not alone. Your loneliness becomes less.
2. Centre yourself in the present using this ritual each morning when you wake up: Look in the mirror and say aloud, “I will get through this.” Soon the pain will be gone. Repeat this ten times.
3. Count your blessings. Often, when we are grieving a loss, we forget to appreciate what we do have.
4. Be patient with yourself. Instead of getting frustrated when you experience a setback, reward yourself with a treat.
5. Don’t hold back your tears. It is okay to cry. Some may need to be alone to cry. That is okay too. Crying is good for the soul.
dreamybeary
New Member
Air is bad, take care. Cant even get any masks.
why! man enjoy and women suffer. huh!where is the money for june, lawyer requested but was not in yet. i running mad for money to support my child and parents. wtf! thank to that bishan sluts. snap ppl husband till so happy. sorry ladies fire fire fire. i on fire. today PPO is adjourned to buy time. we wanted to settle it 3 in one time. oh!he still do know i sue him adultery. wahahaa. when he receive writ of divorce i think he will jump. women ic Number name and adress all in. i'm the best already. he told me he 自杀 i ask why he still alive. if he dare to do it then i should now be attending furneral. dun bull shit and ask for forgiveness. now i wan it clear it clean and that all. dun tell me 饮水思源。ur water is dirty i dun wan to brink any more. when women hateness to the top. what u said we will not attended. if u wan jump pls jump and police will call me .
dreamybeary
New Member
audrey, you will have mandatory counseling right?
dreamybeary
New Member
audrey, i heard if have kids during the divorce process, the court will order mandatory counseling sessions.
Husband visit prostitute twice without my knowledge. Once when I was overseas working, another time when I was in Singapore. He lied to me and went. It was honestly horrifying for me to acknowledge that cos I felt disgusted to be sharing banana with such people. But I got over it. Made an appointment with the lawyers already. sigh divorce isn’t easy. The child is most innocent. But I guess my dd still young so I am quite “lucky”
I'd strongly advice ladies to go for a legal advice at the legal clinic, it's FOC. Check out here http://legalclinics.sg/.
Whether you decide to get a divorce or not, you should find out how to go about it. Especially when you have children, fighting for custody can get complicated if you do not know where you stand. Get yourself with the right knowledge before you battle on.
I've been to legal clinics for several times for different issues, it does helps you to have a better understanding what is the legal procedure and Singapore laws like before you decide to engage a lawyer. Sengkang CC has good lawyers who can give very good advice and they are able to refer to you other lawyers who are willing to offer lower fees should you meet any financial difficulties when your case truly need a lawyer. Steven Lam is one of them which I met during one session, however you will need to be a Sengkang resident to register.
From what I understand, so long as you have evidence to show your spouse had committed adultery, the court will grant a divorce immediately. This is what my cousin did after being in a betrayed marriage for a good 15 hell years. She stayed on cos of the children. It's till one day she plucked up the courage and decided to take on the role as a father and mother of her kids, she decided to fight for the very best. She engaged a PI, collected relevant evidence and sued her husband. She won and the court naturally grant the children's custody to her. She has indeed gone through a lot, with very little education, she work really hard to bring herself high up in the corporate ladder in order to provide for her kids which won the court over in giving her kids custody to her.
Hopes this helps.
Whether you decide to get a divorce or not, you should find out how to go about it. Especially when you have children, fighting for custody can get complicated if you do not know where you stand. Get yourself with the right knowledge before you battle on.
I've been to legal clinics for several times for different issues, it does helps you to have a better understanding what is the legal procedure and Singapore laws like before you decide to engage a lawyer. Sengkang CC has good lawyers who can give very good advice and they are able to refer to you other lawyers who are willing to offer lower fees should you meet any financial difficulties when your case truly need a lawyer. Steven Lam is one of them which I met during one session, however you will need to be a Sengkang resident to register.
From what I understand, so long as you have evidence to show your spouse had committed adultery, the court will grant a divorce immediately. This is what my cousin did after being in a betrayed marriage for a good 15 hell years. She stayed on cos of the children. It's till one day she plucked up the courage and decided to take on the role as a father and mother of her kids, she decided to fight for the very best. She engaged a PI, collected relevant evidence and sued her husband. She won and the court naturally grant the children's custody to her. She has indeed gone through a lot, with very little education, she work really hard to bring herself high up in the corporate ladder in order to provide for her kids which won the court over in giving her kids custody to her.
Hopes this helps.
dreamybeary
New Member
there is a group on fb from this thread. http://singaporemotherhood.com/forum/threads/cheated-spouse.4099/page-3